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  • You may have seen or heard about the expiremental product known as Google Glass,

  • the product of the future.

  • At first, it does everything your phone can do in your glasses.

  • But here at Google, we've finally teamed up with the makers of the iPod Human and iNavigator

  • to bring you the brand-new, highly advanced, cutting edge, top of the line

  • Google Glass Human.

  • With a completely original design, the Google Glass Human is not just better, it's bigger.

  • You know, people ask me all the time, "Why'd you guys have to make it so big?"

  • And every time, I give them the same, simple response.

  • "That's what she said."

  • The Google Glass Human comes in multiple styles and colors such as:

  • I'll take two!

  • And just because the Google Glass Human is easy to use, it doesn't mean it has any less capabilities.

  • Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

  • WHOA!

  • The Google Glass Human can do everything your best smartphone can do and much more

  • such as:

  • -Google Glass Human, find me the nearest coffee shop. -No.

  • Google Glass Human, take a picture.

  • Ok, zoom in a little bit.

  • Alright, and... now.

  • D***it, you blinked again!

  • -Continue for 2.5 steps. -Are you sure we're in my room? It feels like we're outside.

  • OFFSCREEN ANNOUNCER: Phone calls.

  • (ringing)

  • Answer call.

  • Hello?

  • Christine says: "Hey, wanna grab lunch today?"

  • Wait, really? Yes, tell her "yes"!

  • I wonder what made her change her mind.

  • No. You are a fat girl.

  • Wait, what!?

  • Thanks to our top of the line scientists here at our Google labs, we're proud to announce one of our

  • newest features never before seen or done on any device in the past.

  • The Automatic Fragrance feature, also known as AM Fragrance.

  • -GOOGLE GLASS HUMAN: (farts) -Ugh, really? On my neck?

  • Are you one of those people that uses a lock on your phone so people don't steal it when you sleep?

  • Well, with the Google Glass Human and it's Triangle Lock feature, not only do you have to not worry about

  • sleeping, it's so secure that it will actually help you sleep.

  • INITIATING TRIANGLE LOCK

  • Not completely convinced yet?

  • Here's some of our satisfied customers.

  • I cannot live without it.

  • To be honest, I don't leave home without it.

  • It's stupid!

  • It's too heavy, and it's really inconvenient.

  • OFFSCREEN: Well, how do you feel about your iPhone?

  • Oh, well obviously, that's one of the best products of our generation.

  • Google Glass Human is not something you just use...

  • it's not something you just do.

  • It's something you buy!

  • And for the simple price of $699.99 you can get one whole tenth of a Google Glass Human.

  • If you order now, we'll throw in the Google Shoes Human as well.

  • Order now and get the Google Watch Human too.

  • If you order now we'll throw in the Google Belt Human also.

  • If you didn't already order when we told you to order now the first three times, but good thing you waited.

  • Because if you order now, you'll get everything we've mentioned so far plus an additional lifetime supply of Google Glass Humans!

  • Wait, what?

  • ALL GOOGLE GLASS HUMANS: Whoa! Whoa!

  • -Somebody please help me! -Hello, Shaun. Do you require assistance?

  • -Yes, please get all these Google things off of me! -I'm sorry, did you say "call TeeGooglyCoffeeMeat"?

  • -What? No, that's not even a name in my contacts! -I'm sorry, did you say "yes"?

  • -What? No! -Calling TeeGooglyCoffeeMeat.

  • -D***it, cancel call. -Call canceled.

  • -Good, now call for help. -Calling 4HE-LP.

  • -That's not even a number. Just call 911! -Calling 11-11-11-11-11-11-11-11-11.

  • -No not nine different one one's. Just dial the number 9. -Dialing 9.

  • -Good. Now dial 1-1. -Dialing 1.

  • -No, not a singular 1! You know what I meant. Dial two 1's! -Dialing 11.

  • -Great. Now that's too many. Delete one. -Which one would you like deleted?

  • -Does it matter? -No.

  • -Then delete a 1! -Deleting all 1's

  • -No, d***it! Just add 1 and another 1! -Adding 1+1, 2.

  • -Oh my God, you know what, Google Glass Human? I'm done. -I'm sorry, did you say 91... 1?

  • -No! I mean yes! Yes! Call it! -I'm sorry, did you say college?

  • No, call it!

  • -Comment? -No, call it!

  • -Cottage? -Call it!

  • -Wallet? -Call it!

  • -Walrus? -JUST CALL THE F***ING NUMBER!

  • -Calling... -Ugh, finally.

  • -...TeeGooglyCoffeeMeat. - SON OF A--

  • TEEGOOGLYCOFFEEMEAT: Hello? This is TeeGooglyCoffeeMeat.

  • Wait, you're an actual person?

  • No, I'm one of your Google Glass Humans, but I'm at the top, so I'm more updated than you. What's up?

  • Thank God. Okay, please listen to me. I just need one thing.

  • -Sure, fine. -Please call for help. Call for an ambulance!

  • I'm sorry, did you say "I want more AM Fragrance"?

  • -No, no! -Initiating AM Fragrance.

  • Not like this.

  • Not like this.

  • Captions by Mike&ChrisProductions

You may have seen or heard about the expiremental product known as Google Glass,

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A2 初級

グーグルグラス人間 (Google Glass Human)

  • 575 13
    jucic に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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