(Gaby typing)

Gaby?

If you're looking at your bank account,

your balance is that small number on the top right.

Not looking at my bank account.

Well you really should be, because you have a lot of credit card debt.

This is more important!

Who is that? And why are you stalking him the way I stalk people?

It's Rami Malek. And I can't stop looking at pictures of him,

or watching interviews with him, or googling facts about him.

Because he's so handsome?

He is handsome.

But that's not why.

Think I have a 'man crush'.

A 'man crush'?

You know, like I find him cool and smart and charming,

but I, like, wouldn't want to date the guy in a heterosexual way.

I get it.

You're upset because I said I had a 'girl crush' on Gina Rodriguez last night.

Mm-hmm.

And this entire thing was an elaborate set up

so I would realize my mistake in a real life simulation.

It took you long enough. I've been staring at my computer for over an hour.

Gaby, why do you have to do these overwrought lessons?!

Can't you just talk to me like a normal person?

I've never done this before.

Oh really?

Gaby, where are all my spoons?

Oh, I'm sorry.

'Spoons' have been historically under-represented in 'kitchenware'

so I figured you wouldn't notice if I erase them entirely.

All I eat is cereal.

Watch your step.

I split the apartment in two to demonstrate the untenable nature of the gender binary.

Can I come to your side just for a second?

Not until it's normalized by society.

Sugar!

(whispering) Sugar, come here.

What is going on?!

White privilege.

Ok, those weren't 'lessons'. Those were 'interactive demonstrations'.

Fine. You know what? I'm sorry that I said that I had a girl crush on Gina Rodriguez

which is the female equivalent of 'no homo'.

Thank you.

I feel great and superior.

Ok, but for the record, I only said that because I don't wanna fuck Gina Rodriguez

and you would fuck whoever that guy is!

That's besides the point.

Oh, I get it.

You put the spoons where the pens should go, because they're invading a safe space

thus teaching me the importance of female indentified areas in a patriarchal world.

...Yep.

Or you just didn't know where to put the spoons!

Let's go with your reason. It's so good.

Ugh.

I feel brain-washed.

♪ (JBU music) ♪

Where are my jackets?!

Think of your jackets as the minimum monthly payment you should be making.

I don't like this game any more.

Really? I'm starting to appreciate it.

Try to find your underwear.

You won't.

♪ (JBU music) ♪

Come here!!

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