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  • ♪ (old-school video game music) ♪

  • - Agar-dot-io. Agar.io.

  • - Agar.io, okay. So this is one word.

  • Why is there a period in the middle of the word?

  • - I've never heard of it. It's got color in spots.

  • - (gasps) Agar.io! Yes! I have this game on my phone!

  • - This game is like the best. This game is like crack.

  • - (Finebros) Agar.io is a game where you start as a tiny cell

  • trying to absorb other cells and other players online.

  • It's eat or be eaten. - I like the sound of that.

  • - I don't think I could ever just sit down

  • and think of a game this bizarre.

  • - (Finebros) We're gonna let you play a bunch of rounds,

  • and hopefully you can make it onto the leader board.

  • - (intrigued) Ooh.

  • I think it sounds really fun.

  • - I think I'm gonna destroy some people right now.

  • - Since I play this game on my phone, I think I'll do good on PC.

  • - "Move your mouse to control your cell.

  • Press Space to split. Press W to eject some mass."

  • - (Finebros) Go ahead and pick your username.

  • - Is it gonna be the name of my cell?

  • - I put "move."

  • 'Cause I want people to move out of my way.

  • - "Willson."

  • - "Swiggity."

  • - "Morgiesmores."

  • - My Hebrew name is Shlomo. So I'm gonna call myself "Shlomo."

  • - The only name that there is: "JOHNCENA!"

  • - Okay.

  • Oh, whoa.

  • - Yes. Queen. I like it already.

  • - Let's go.

  • - There I am. Whee.

  • (muttering quietly)

  • Out of my way. God damn it.

  • Oh wait, that was fast. I usually play on my--

  • Okay, wait, I'm playing again.

  • - Let's go, JOHNCENA!

  • And then I press Space and I split up.

  • Okay, that didn't do anything. Why is it not doing anything?

  • I died.

  • The space bar wasn't working.

  • These controls are just not working for me, man.

  • - (Finebros) You can't split when you're that small.

  • - Ohhh.

  • - Oh my god. I'm already so big.

  • I thought was gonna be smaller. Wait, ooh.

  • - (Finebros) Don't forget to run away from the bigger cells.

  • - Oh yeah. Wait.

  • Okay, I need to do this again. Did I just die?

  • - Am I supposed to pick these things up?

  • - (Finebros) You're supposed to absorb them.

  • - Oh.

  • If this is all I have to do, then this is my new favorite game.

  • - Basically you want to grab all the little cells to get bigger.

  • Like that. Ohp. Okay. Let's go away from that name.

  • - I'm gonna absorb DOGE.

  • Come here. Come here!

  • (quietly) Ah.

  • So-- okay, so some people can go faster than others?

  • - (Finebros) The smaller you are, the faster you go.

  • - Gotcha.

  • Wow, this is-- no! Aah!

  • (disappointed) Oh.

  • I got eaten. Absorbed.

  • - (singsong) Circles, little sprinkles. Get the little sprinkles.

  • Oh my god, I'm gonna get eaten. Look, it's eating me.

  • I didn't know it was the end of the thing,

  • and I just got crushed.

  • - So I'm doing pretty good right now. My score is at 50.

  • So when I get to 100, I think I will start eating people.

  • - Is there somebody about my size, like that 1up guy right there?

  • Can I eat him?

  • - (Finebros) You want to be visibly larger than the other cells,

  • and then you can eat them.

  • - Okay, so I got to be way bigger than him then?

  • There we go. Yeah. I just absorbed somebody.

  • - Look at all-- the little babies are over here.

  • I want to eat HonestMajorus.

  • I did it; I ate one of them.

  • - I want to make it on the leader board.

  • Hey, it's Barack Obama. (chuckles)

  • I want to eat him right now.

  • Ooh! Someone gave me some of their mass.

  • Oh my gosh, this guy.

  • No. No-no-no-no-no. Okay, I'm good. I'm good.

  • Ooh! (inhales sharply)

  • Ooh, and I'm jukes.

  • I'm doing pretty good,

  • as long as someone doesn't eat me outta nowhere.

  • (gasps) Yes, I ate someone!

  • - But now there's two of me? Oh, okay.

  • This is cute. Now I get twice the sprinkles.

  • And they just travel together?

  • - No. I'm kinda stuck. No.

  • But I saved myself.

  • - Whoa! Okay, that's really weird.

  • Why is your name Poland?

  • (sternly) Okay, no, you're gonna get--

  • No, no, no, no, no, no, no. W.

  • (rapid tapping) I meant to--

  • Oh my gaaahd. What's going on?

  • I just split up into four, so now there are four of me.

  • Ooh, I feel like I have a little army now.

  • That guy's cool though. He has a Pokémon.

  • Poké Bowl-- Pok-ay Bow-- Poké Ba--

  • Oh god, no. (rapid tapping)

  • Poland just killed me.

  • - Oh snap, I didn't mean to split. That's not what I meant to do.

  • Aaand I'm dead.

  • All right, here we go. Round three.

  • Wow! Just spawn me right next to the giant guy please.

  • That's how I like to play the game.

  • Aaand I'm gone. JurassicFart just got me.

  • - (nervously) No.

  • Avoiding the... big guys! Oh god.

  • He's really, really-- damn it.

  • - "Pls no." (breathy laugh)

  • I'm pls no right now.

  • - Who takes the time to play this game?

  • There's no adventure to it. It's just blob.

  • - Oh my gosh, this is so beautiful.

  • I'm floating around, collecting all these other--

  • it makes me think about life, you know what I mean?

  • We're just all insignificant little specs on graph paper

  • being absorbed by other life forms.

  • - I'm just gonna-- just gonna pop on through.

  • Okay, I-- oh wait, can I just--

  • Ohhhhhh.

  • - These are like viruses.

  • And if you're small enough to fit in them, you can hide.

  • - I'm at 380 so far. I ate one and--

  • Ohp! Just ate someone else.

  • Woo! Hands free.

  • Wait, oh, snap. (laughing) Wait. Let's not do hands-free anymore.

  • Oh snap, that's a--

  • Oh. He-hey.

  • I'm gonna team with this guy.

  • (taps key) Oh snap. Oh my gosh.

  • It froze.

  • Oh gosh, please don't kill me. Please don't kill me.

  • It wasn't my fault!

  • (determined) Willson must win.

  • Oh, I already ate someone. That's what I'm talking about.

  • Let's go! Today's gonna be a good--

  • Oh. Okay.

  • - ♪ Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful

  • I'm gonna eat this guy. POPPY, come over here.

  • (gasps) Can I go faster now?

  • I just made him bigger! What the heck? That was stupid.

  • - No, no, no, no, no. Oh, papiii.

  • Oh, no, no, no, no. Okay, I was so close.

  • Okay, no. I wanted to eat those.

  • There, you orange bitch.

  • Wait, I want to get you. There we go.

  • - Regardless of the fact that I'm sucking, I'm having fun.

  • And I think that's the most important part

  • when you're playing this game.

  • Ooh, I just got bigger.

  • And you were probably gonna eat me.

  • How am I still alive?

  • - (mutters quietly)

  • Gah-- what? Dang it. I'm smaller than him now.

  • Now, I can't merge back together ever, can I?

  • Or I can. It just happened. I've done the impossible.

  • Ooh, did you see that narrow escape right there?

  • And I'm sinking into it, but I'm running away,

  • 'cause he was gonna kill me.

  • - Whoa, why did I re-merge?

  • Does that happen sporadically?

  • Oh-ho! Damn it! I got eaten by the Kawaii!

  • How about "Consumerism"?

  • Consumerism ate you. That's appropriate.

  • - Hands free. Crack the knuckles. Let's go.

  • Ho!

  • Oh! Oh!! Oh!!! I just ate that person!

  • That's what you get for trying to kill me.

  • He wants to team, but I don't want to team with him.

  • (gasps) Oh! Oh snap! Let's go!

  • - Sarah Palin?

  • I want to eat her. Okay.

  • That is so weird. Barack Obama just killed me.

  • - Oh. It's 'cause they're smaller,

  • 'cause they're just a little tiny bit faster.

  • Oh, we're all just trying to--

  • People are [bleep] rude on this game.

  • Like, I'm just trying to do a little better.

  • What if this is my first time? You're just ruining it.

  • - This will be my last-- my last one.

  • Let's try this.

  • Oh god. Oh god. Reddit won't leave me alone.

  • That's too close to my real life.

  • (yelps) Apple just got really large. (snickering)

  • (inhales deeply)

  • Gah! I had to split. I had to do it.

  • But it's okay. And I got eaten.

  • I was doing so well at not dying.

  • - Oh, I'm so screwed right now. This is a bad idea.

  • Now I'm really tiny. There's only two of me.

  • Ooh, there's a big mass. (high-pitched voice) Mine.

  • (long gasp) No, no, no.

  • Oh my god, how am I still alive?!

  • This just brings back weird memories

  • of "I'm trying to study in the library,

  • but I don't feel like it 'cause I'm playing Agar.io."

  • God damn it.

  • I got a five-minute run. That's pretty good.

  • I didn't get on the leader board.

  • But that's okay 'cause it's still fun.

  • - And there's the sun.

  • (singsong) Have you seen the sun? I have.

  • W-w-what?

  • I went over one of the things

  • you're supposed to be able to hide in when you're tiny,

  • and it split me into eight of me.

  • And now there's only five of-- and now there's only one of me.

  • (quietly) Oh my god, I'm terrible at this.

  • (loudly) Oh my god, I'm terrible at this game.

  • Come on. Come on. Give him to me.

  • No!

  • JOHNCENA! needs to merge.

  • JOHNCENA! didn't merge. That's what happened.

  • I tried. I gave it my all.

  • - (sarcastically) Oh great, we have another big person.

  • Come on. Ugh.

  • I coulda ate-- (gasps deeply)

  • No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no.

  • No, no-- yes. Spare Willson.

  • Oh. Keep going. Keep going, my friend.

  • I'll give you one. Boom, that's it. Oh.

  • Oh. Yes, I can eat him.

  • Yea--

  • Oh! Oh! Forget teaming. I'm eating everyone!

  • Come on, let's go. Come on, I can eat him.

  • I can eat him. Come on.

  • Yes!! I'm on the leader board! Ugh!!

  • I'm on top six.

  • Woo! I'm on the leader board. That's all that matters.

  • - It was good. It was not something

  • I will probably spend much of my time playing.

  • - It was more fun than I expected, I'm not gonna lie.

  • It thought it was gonna be pretty stupid.

  • - I'll play it for, like, a couple hours. That sounds really bad.

  • And then I'll get over it. I'll get bored.

  • And then in a few weeks,

  • I'll be like, "Oh, I should play Agar.io."

  • And then it's just like this vicious cycle.

  • - I love it but I hate it.

  • It's just so simple and so fun. Like, you think that it's easy.

  • And then as soon as you're about to get somebody,

  • somebody else just, "Oh, nope, I'm the sun," and you're gone.

  • I'm just going home and I'm playing Agar.io now for forever.

  • - Thanks for watching us play Agar.io here on the React channel.

  • - What other games are you hungry for? Put them in the comments.

  • - Subscribe. New gaming episodes every week.

  • - Bye, guys!