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  • Some of you may be wondering whether you're actually in a relationship with a psychopath

  • or whether you might have fallen for a psychopath in the past, and, if you are in a relationship

  • with a psychopath, what you can do about that. Now, psychopaths do have certain characteristics,

  • certain tells, to use a poker analogy, that they display in relationships.

  • They tend to play on our pity a lot, okay? So they tend to excuse their misdemeanors

  • and bad behaviors through something that was beyond their control. They couldn't help doing

  • it because something had happened, and there's always an excuse for it. And although psychopaths

  • don't feel emotions like us, they are masters at pushing those emotional hot buttons that

  • elicit emotions in others, in us. Sympathy being one of the major, major motivators.

  • Psychopaths often play on our pity. They excuse their own behavior because they were somehow

  • hard done by.

  • Psychopaths also tend to be very narcissistic. They tend to think that the world centers

  • around them. They're not really attuned to your feelings. They don't really care about

  • your feelings. Really, ultimately, the world surrounds them.

  • Psychopaths are also very charming. They're very manipulative, especially when they're

  • in a crowd, especially when they're in company. But behind the scenes when they're alone with

  • you, they can be very, very controlling. Sometimes, but not always, aggressive, but psychologically

  • controlling as well.

  • So if you're worried about the fact that -- that you're in a relationship with a psychopath,

  • what can you do about that? What might be some certain things to look out for?

  • Well, first of all, the absolute first thing to do is to not go on face value, to not fall

  • for the smoke screen. A number one rule of thumb is to don't judge a person on what they

  • say, but judge a person on what they do. So that's the very first thing. Look at the evidence

  • of their behavior and try to judge it objectively, rather than subjectively. Not an easy thing

  • to do, I admit, if you're in a relationship with someone.

  • Secondly, if you suspect that your partner is a psychopath, why don't you get a second

  • opinion from one of your friends? Why don't you confide in your friends: I think my partner's

  • a psychopath or I think these are the certain characteristics? Give me an honest opinion.

  • What do you really think about my partner? And a second opinion - two heads are often

  • better than one in this kind of case.

  • Thirdly, a golden rule is don't cover for them. If they start getting into serious trouble

  • and they want you to somehow front up for them or be an alibi or somehow make excuses

  • or whatever, whatever. Don't get tangled up into covering up for them because as soon

  • as that starts happening, it's called the "foot in the door" technique; a very, very

  • common persuasive technique. Once you've done something for someone, you're more likely

  • to do other follow-up things for them. And before you know it, you're in up to your neck.

  • Okay?

  • And the fourth thing I would say is, buy my book because all the signs and all the tricks

  • of the trade are in there. And forewarned is definitely forearmed when you're dealing

  • with psychopaths.

  • However, if you've got those traits I've just mentioned to you and you are not naturally

  • violent, and you are also intelligent, then it's a different story altogether. Then, as

  • the famous Reuters headline once mentioned, you are more likely gonna make a killing in

  • the market than anywhere else.

Some of you may be wondering whether you're actually in a relationship with a psychopath

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あなたはサイコパスとデートしていますか? (Are You Dating a Psychopath?)

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    VoiceTube に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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