DAVID, COULD I ASK YOU A PERSONAL QUESTION?

>> NO.

>> Stephen: OKAY.

CAN I ASK YOU AN IMPERSONAL QUESTION?

>> YES, PLEASE, THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR.

>> Stephen: YOU'RE AN ADULT, RIGHT?

>> YES, I AM, A.O.L. BEIT ONE WITH BOYISHLY GOOD LOOKS.

>> Stephen: THAT'S TRUE.

>> Stephen: YEAH, ME, TOO.

THINGS WERE SO MUCH SIMPLER DO YOU EVER MISS BEING A KID?

>> YEAH.

>> Stephen: THINGS WERE SO MUCH THEN.

YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO KNOW THE REASONS FOR THINGS.

YOU COULD MAKE UP THINGS-- >> LIKE POLITICS NOW I HAVE TO

KNOW THE REASONS IF FOR THINGS.

>> Stephen: DO YOU EVER DREAMAVE PLACE WHERE YOU CAN GO

AND BE A KID AGAIN?

>> YES, I DO, I DO.

BUT THAT'S JUST A BEAUTIFUL DREAM.

>> Stephen: NO, DAVID.

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL REALITY, INSIDE MY BLANKET FORT.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> STEPHEN.

>> Stephen: DAVID?

ARE YOU WEAK?

>> YEAH.

>> Stephen: >> Stephen: HEY, DAVID?

OH!

THAT'S SO SCARY.

THAT'S SO SCARY.

DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN!

HEY, HEY-- NO!

I'M NOT JOKING!

DON'T!

>> I'M SORRY.

>> Stephen: DON'T!

MY MOM DIDN'T PUT ANY PADS DOWN HERE.

( LAUGHTER ) IT DOESN'T HAPPEN THAT MUCH

ANYMORE BUT YOU DON'T AT THE PRESENT TIME TO HAPPEN.

>> OKAY.

>> Stephen: HEY, DAVID?

>> YES, STEPHEN.

>> Stephen: HEY, DAVID?

>> YEAH.

>> Stephen: HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A BRA?

( LAUGHTER ).

>> YEAH.

ONE TIME MY MOM TOOK ME TO J.C.

PENNY'S AND THEY WERE ON LADY MANNEQUINS.

IT MADE ME SCARED AND EXCITED.

( LAUGHTER ) HEY, STEPHEN.

>> Stephen: YEAH.

>> WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SNEEZE AND NO ONE SAYS "GOD BLESS YOU?"

>> Stephen: YOU GO TO HELL.

THAT'S WHAT MY BROTHER SAYS, HE SAYS GUTO HELL.

UNLESS YOU SAY "HEAVENS TO BETTY" AT THE SAME TIME.

>> DOES THAT REALLY WORK?

>> Stephen: IF YOUR NAME IS BETSY.

( LAUGHTER ).

>> STEPHEN.

>> Stephen: WHAT?

>> I FEEL LIKE WE'RE BEING WATCHED.

( LAUGHTER ) GLP THAT'S MY SISTER?

>> OH, IT IS.

>> Stephen: GO TO BED, LULU!

YOU'RE NOT SCARING US!

HEY, DAVID?

>> STEPHEN.

>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE HAIR DOWN THERE?

>> OH!

( LAUGHTER ) WHAT!

NO WAY!

YOU'RE ONLY TWO MONTHS OLDER THAN I AM!

( LAUGHTER ) HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?

>> IT'S A REAL BUSY TWO MONTHS, THOUGH.

( LAUGHTER ).

>> Stephen: HOW MANY?

>> HOW MANY?

>> Stephen: HOW MANY?

>> EIGHT AND A HALF.

( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: YOU MUST BE REALLY

STRONG.

>> YOU KNOW LIKE YOUR GRANDFATHER WHO IS BALD, AND HE

COMBS THE HAIR OVER THE BALD PART?

>> Stephen: YEAH.

( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )

>> Stephen: ALL THE WAY OVER?

WOW.

WOW!

>> Stephen: HAVE YOU EVER PLAYED SCRABBLE?

>> NO.

>> Stephen: WELL, DON'T.

YOUR PARENTS SAY IT'S FUN, BUT IT'S JUST COMPETITIVE

SPELLING WITH YOUR COUSINS.

HEY, DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE SPECIAL HUGS THAT MOMS AND DADS

DO?

>> YEAH, I SAW A BOOK ABOUT IT ONCE.

THERE'S A LOT OF GRUNTING AND SWEATING, AND WHEN IT'S ALL

OVER, EVERYBODY'S REALLY HAPPY, EXCEPT MY MOTHER.

( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )

>> Stephen: YEAH, I HEARD ABOUT ALL THE GRUNTING AND THE

SWEATING.

YOU KNOW-- YOU KNOW WHAT THEY CALL IT?

>> YEAH, THE HEIMLICH.

>> Stephen: I HEARD THEY HAD TO DO IT TO MY GRANDMA AT A

RESTAURANT.

( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Stephen: ARE YOU CRYING?

ARE YOU-- ARE YOU CRYING?

DON'T CRY!

>> I HOPE SHE LEFT A BIG TIP.

( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: HEY, ARE YOU

GONNA-- ARE YOU GONNA WATCH THE CANAC TWO-HOUR COMMERCIAL FREE

SEASON PREMIERE THIS SRD ON NBC?

>> ( BLEEP ) YEAH.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).