Name: スティーブン・コルベールの真夜中の告白V (Stephen Colbert's Midnight Confessions V)
Uploaded: 2021-01-14T06:21:51.000Z
Duration: 6 min 29 s
Description: VoiceTubeの動画で発音を聞きながら英語表現を覚えよう！学べる英語：

YOU SEE, WHILE I AM A COMMITED CATHOLIC, AS THE HOST OF MY OWN

TV SHOW, I RARELY HAVE TIME FOR MY FAVORITE CATHOLIC TRADITIONS,

LIKE GOING TO MASS, OR PRAYING A NOVENA, OR EXPLAINING SAINTS TO

ST. ANTHONY'S MUTANT POWER IS FINDING YOUR LOST KEYS.

IT'S LIKE A COLON CLEANSE FOR IT'S LIKE A COLON CLEANSE FOR

YOUR SOUL, A CHANCE TO BE FREE OF THINGS YOU MIGHT REGRET, LIKE

SO, I WAS WONDERING IF I COULD EXAMINE MY CONSCIENCE WITH YOU,

THIS IS "STEPHEN COLBERT'S MIDNIGHT CONFESSIONS."

( LAUGHTER ) NOW, FOR THE RECORD, I'M NOT

SURE THESE ARE TECHNICALLY SINS, BUT I DO FEEL BAD ABOUT

I'VE BEEN TO CONFESSION MORE TIMES ON THIS SHOW THAN I HAVE

( LAUGHTER ) AUDIENCE, IF YOU'VE EVER WALKED

SLOWLY IN FRONT OF ME ON THE SIDEWALK, I'VE FANTASIZED

I NO LONGER BOTHER TO SPREAD NUTELLA ON ANYTHING OTHER THAN

( LAUGHTER ) I'D LIKE TO GO ON "CELEBRITY

JEOPARDY!" BUT I'M AFRAID I WOULD LOSE TO MEATLOAF.

( LAUGHTER ) SOMETIMES, SOMETIMES, AUDIENCE,

SOMETIMES I WONDER IF GOD LOVES ME BECAUSE HE ACTUALLY LIKES ME

I HAVE FANTASIZED ABOUT HAVING A HORRIBLE DISEASE SO PEOPLE WOULD

FEEL BAD FOR ME, BUT THAT'S ALSO EASILY CURED ONCE I'VE SOAKED UP

SHAKESPEARE'S, "TAMING OF THE SHREW," BUT ACTUALLY, I JUST

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) WHEN I'M AT KARAOKE AND SOMEONE

STARTS SINGING "DON'T STOP BELIEVIN," I STOP BELIEVIN',

( LAUGHTER ) SOMETIMES, SOMETIMES ON MY CHEAT

DAY, I ORDER A WHOLE PLATE OF FRIES AND THEN HAVE SEX WITH IT.

( LAUGHTER ) I BUY KALE AND PUT IT IN THE

THEN I START RESENTING IT AND ENJOY WATCHING IT DIE.

I HAVE JUMPED A SUBWAY TURNSTILE ON A DIRTBIKE.

( LAUGHTER ) EVERYBODY ALWAYS SAYS YOUR PORN

NAME IS YOUR FIRST PET AND THE STREET YOU GREW UP ON.

ONE TIME, I TEST DROVE A CAR JUST SO I COULD USE THE

( LAUGHTER ) WHEN I GO TO A JAZZ CLUB, I JUST

APPLAUD AT RANDOM INTERVALS TO MAKE IT SEEM LIKE I APPRECIATED

WHENEVER IT LOOKS LIKE I'M TAKING NOTES IN A MEETING, I'M

THERE ARE A LOT OF APPS ON MY iPHONE THAT I NEVER USE, BUT I'M

AFRAID TO GET RID OF THEM BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT

IF I RESCUED A SHELTER DOG, I WOULD NAME IT "SHELTER DOG," SO

ALSO, IF I GOT TWO CATS, I WOULD NAME THEM "CAT ONE" AND "CAT

THREE," SO EVERYONE WOULD FEEL SORRY FOR ME.

( LAUGHTER ) THIS ONE IS SHOCKING TO EVEN ME,

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY IT, BUT I THINK IT'S POSSIBLE THAT

DONALD TRUMP WON'T BE THE WORST PRESIDENT IN HISTORY.

字幕リスト動画再生

スティーブン・コルベールの真夜中の告白V (Stephen Colbert's Midnight Confessions V)

applause

audience

feel

confession