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  • >> Paul: HO!

  • >> Dave: YOU KNOW, THE BIG

  • BLOCKBUSTER OF THE SUMMER OPENED

  • UP, "WAR OF THE WORLDS".

  • HOW MANY GOT A CHANCE TO SEE

  • "WAR OF THE WORLDS".

  • (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

  • >> Dave: YOU HAD HUH?

  • YOU SAW "WAR OF THE WORLDS" AND

  • THEN YOU WENT OVER TO DOC'S

  • HOUSE.

  • (APPLAUSE)

  • >> WELL, IN THE MOVIE, YOU KNOW

  • WHAT THE MOVIE IS THE "WAR OF

  • THE WORLDS", THE ALIENS ATTACK

  • NEW JERSEY.

  • THEY ATTACK NEW JERSEY.

  • ACTUALLY, ACTUALLY THEY FIRST

  • LANDED IN MANHATTAN AND WERE

  • DRIVEN OUT BY THE PRICES. YOU'VE

  • SEEN THE TOYS THAT THIS WOMAN

  • HAS.

  • >> Paul: OKAY.

  • >> Dave: NOW I DON'T KNOW WHY WE

  • DIDN'T DO THIS YEARS AGO.

  • WE COULDN'T DO THIS SHOW NIGHT

  • IN AND NIGHT OUT WITHOUT THE

  • YOUNG MEN AND WOMEN WHO ARE

  • PAGES AT CBS.

  • >> Paul: OH YES.

  • >> Dave: THEY COME TO WORK EARLY

  • AND THEY HAVE TO PUT ON THOSE

  • POLYESTER THINGS AND THEY HELP

  • PEOPLE, THEY ARE FRIENDLY.

  • THEY ARE LIKE TOUR GUIDES, LIKE

  • PARK RANGERS, LIKE RED CROSS,

  • THEY ARE PUBLIC SERVICE, THEY

  • ARE EDUCATIONAL, INFOTAKENABLE.

  • >> THEY HELP.

  • >> Dave: THEY ARE AN INTEGRAL

  • PART OF THIS PRODUCTION SO

  • TONIGHT, IT WAS CALLED TO MY

  • ATTENTION.

  • WE HAVE A GENTLEMAN WHO IS A

  • PAGE AND HE HAS BEEN A PAGE HERE

  • AT CBS FOR 37 YEARS.

  • >> WOW!

  • NO KIDDING?

  • >> DID YOU KNOW THAT?

  • >> I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WAS A

  • PAGE FOR THAT LONG.

  • >> Dave: A PAGE FOR 37 YEARS.

  • I THOUGHT IT WAS A COUPLE OF

  • YEARS BUT THIS MAN HAS MADE A

  • CAREER OF IT.

  • I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUN TO

  • BRING HIM OUT TONIGHT.

  • PLEASE WELCOME OUR GOOD FRIEND

  • JOHNNY, THE OLDEST, THE OLDEST

  • CBS PAGE, JOHNNY, WHERE ARE YOU?

  • (APPLAUSE)

  • >> Dave: NICE TO SEE YOU,

  • JOHNNIE.

  • TAKE A BOW.

  • THAT A BOY.

  • (APPLAUSE)

  • >> Dave: JOHNNY, THANK YOU VERY

  • MUCH.

  • I KNOW YOU HAVE A BUSY SCHEDULE.

  • THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TAKING THE

  • TIME TO BE WITH US HERE TONIGHT.

  • HOW ARE YOU, BY THE WAY?

  • >> LIVING A DREAM, DAVE.

  • (LAUGHTER)

  • >> LIVING A FRIGGIN DREAM.

  • >> Paul: WHOA, HEY.

  • (APPLAUSE)

  • >> Dave: WAIT A MINUTE.

  • >> Dave: THAT'S JOHNNY.

  • >> Paul: WHO IS THIS GUY?

  • >> I DON'T THINK ARE YOU ALLOWED

  • TO SMOKE IN THE THEATRE.

  • I'M SORRY.

  • >> FINE, CALL A COP!

  • >> Dave: DID YOU HEAR WHAT HE --

  • I DIDN'T HEAR WHAT HE SAID.

  • >> Paul: I DON'T KNOW.

  • >> Dave: TELL US ABOUT YOUR LIFE

  • T SOUNDS GLAMOUROUS, DO YOU

  • ENJOY BEING A PAGE?

  • >> OH YEAH, YEAH, I LIKE BEING A

  • PAGE.

  • AND I LIKE HAVING HOT COAL

  • PACKED UP MY --

  • (LAUGHTER)

  • >> Dave: ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

  • AND MAYBE IT'S JUST ME BUT YOU

  • SOUND JUST A LITTLE -- A LITTLE

  • BITER.

  • HAVE YOU DONE OTHER THINGS, I

  • MEAN BEFORE YOU WERE A PAGE OR

  • TRIED OTHER JOBS OR ANYTHING?

  • >> YEAH, WELL, '94 MY COUSIN AND

  • I WE STARTED A ROOFING BUSINESS.

  • >> Dave: ROOFING BUSINESS, THAT

  • SOUNDS LIKE A LOT OF FUN.

  • >> OH YEAH T WAS PARADISE UNTIL

  • ONE OF THE ILLEGALS FELL OFF A

  • LADDER AND DISLOCATED HIS ELBOW.

  • NEXT THING YOU KNOW IMMIGRATION

  • POKING AROUND AND -- EVERYTHING

  • GOES -- UP.

  • (APPLAUSE)

  • >> Dave: REALLY?

  • I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

  • WOW!, SORRY TO HEAR THAT.

  • DID YOU HEAR THAT, PAUL?

  • >> YEAH, I HEARD WHAT HE SAID,

  • YEAH.

  • >> Dave: YEAH.

  • ALL RIGHT, WELL LET'S FORGET

  • ABOUT THE ROOFING BUSINESS.

  • I THINK WHAT PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW

  • WHAT IS YOUR JOB HERE AS A CBS

  • PAGE.

  • WHAT DO YOU DO?

  • WHAT ARE YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES?

  • >> YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT I DO.

  • I'M THE GUY THAT TELLS THIS

  • CROWD THEY CANNOT QUELL"

  • LETTERMAN SUCKS "NO, LETTERMAN

  • DOES NOT SUC.

  • >> YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS T IS

  • ANOTHER ROCKING HOLIDAY WEEKEND,

  • COMING, DAVE, ALL RIGHT, HIT IT

  • LINDA.

  • TELL ME WHEN WILL YOU BE

  • MINE

  • TELL ME QUONDOQUONDO

  • WE CAN SHARE YOUR LOVE --

  • >> DROP BY BEN I BEGANS IN ROUTE

  • 76 FOR JOHNNY FIRECRACKER'S

  • FOURTH OF JULY PARTY.

  • CHECK IT OUT.

  • LADIES DRINK FREE!

  • (APPLAUSE)

  • TELL ME WHEN WILL YOU BE BY

  • ♪.

  • >> Dave: JOHNNY, THE OLDEST CBS

  • PAGE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

  • (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

  • >> Dave: WOW!.

  • (APPLAUSE)

  • >> Dave: SORRY TO HEAR THAT

  • ABOUT THE ROOFING BUSINESS THEY

  • HAD.

  • >> Paul: IT WENT -- UP,

  • APPARENTLY.

  • >> Dave: APPARENTLY.

  • (LAUGHTER)

  • >> Dave: DON'T YOU HATE WHEN

  • THAT HAPPENS?

  • ACTUALLY, DOESN'T HAPPEN OFTEN

  • ENOUGH IN MY LIFE.

  • AND NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

  • IT'S TIME FOR THE LATE SHOW WEEK

  • IN REVIEW.

  • LADIES AND GENT

  • LATE SHOW WEEK IN REVIEW ♪♪

  • HERE'S DAVE!

  • >> Dave: ALL RIGHT.

  • (APPLAUSE)

  • >> Dave: THIS, OF COURSE, AS YOU

  • KNOW IS THE FIRST FULL WEEK OF

  • SUMMER AND I THOUGHT I HAD ALL

  • THE BASIC PROVISION I NEEDED FOR

  • THE SUMMER SEASON UNTIL I SAW

  • THIS VALUABLE REMINDER ON

  • TELEVISION.

  • TAKE A LOOK.

  • >> SUMMERTIME IS FINALLY HERE.

  • BUT BEFORE YOU PUT ON YOUR

  • SUMMER WHITES, REMEMBER TO PICK

  • UP A BOTTLE OF SPRAY 'N WASH.

  • NEW AND IMPROVED SPRAY 'N WASH

  • WILL MAKE EVEN THE MOST STUBBORN

  • STAINS DISAPPEAR.

  • WHETHER YOU'VE BEEN WORKING IN

  • THE GARDEN, PLAYING ON THE LAWN,

  • OR JUST EATING DORRITOES IN YOUR

  • UNDERPANTS, SPRAY 'N WASH, YOUR.

  • >> IS GOOD NEWS.

  • >> Dave: YEAH.

  • THIS WEEK THE SENATE BEGAN

  • CONSIDERING A CONSTITUTIONAL

  • AMENDMENT TO BAN FLAG BURNING.

  • HERE NOW WITH A COMMENTARY IS

  • OUR OWN ANNOUNCER ALAN,.

  • >> THANK YOU, DAVE.

  • OUR FLAG HAS A PROUD HISTORY

  • DATING BACK TO ITS CREATION IN

  • 1776.

  • IT DESERVES THE RESPECT THAT WE

  • WOULD AFFORD THE NOBLE

  • PRINCIPLESES THAT GUIDE OUR

  • GREAT NATION.

  • WE MUST REMEMBER THAT THE FLAG

  • IS A SYMBOL OF THE FREEDOMS WE

  • HOLD DEAR.

  • INCLUDING THE FREEDOM TO DISSENT

  • EVEN TO THE POINT THAT DEFACING

  • THAT SYMBOL.

  • SAY NO TO THE CONSTITUTIONAL

  • AMENDMENT.

  • >> Dave: THANK YOU VERY MUCH,

  • ALAN.

  • >> THANK YOU, DAVE.

  • >> Dave: NICELY PUT.

  • THAT'S NICE.

  • ALAN.

  • AND BY THE WAY, AN EXTRA TIP OF

  • THE HAT, I BELIEVE ARE YOU

  • DRESSED AS THE CREATOR OF THE

  • FLAG, BETSY ROSS.

  • >> DAVE, DAVE, NO, MY DRY

  • CLEANER SCREWED UP AND I'M GOING

  • TO SUE THEIR NUTS OFF.

  • (LAUGHTER)

  • >> Dave: ALL RIGHT THEN.

  • >> Dave: THANK YOU SO MUCH.

  • NOW THAT THE FOURTH OF JULY HAS

  • RIFED, TAKE A LOOK AT SOME.

  • BEST NEW TOYS AVAILABLE FOR KIDS

  • THIS SUMMER.

  • HERE TO HELP US IS OUR TOY

  • EXPERT SHANNON ICE, ALWAYS A

  • PLEASURE, SHANNON.

  • GOOD TO SEE YOU.

  • >> YOU AS WELL.

  • >> Dave: HOW IS YOUR SUMMER

  • GOING.

  • >> FABULOUS, VERY HOT.

  • >> Dave: WHAT WE KNOW FROM

  • PREVIOUS VISIT, THAT THE TOY

  • INDUSTRY SAY MULTIBILLION-DOLLAR

  • BUSINESS, ISN'T IT.

  • >> CORRECT.

  • >> Dave: WHAT DO WE HAVE IN.

  • >> WE WILL START HERE WITH THE

  • NERF BLASTER, DO YOU WANT TO

  • WEAR PROTECTIVE GOGGLES.

  • >> I HAVE MY OWN PROTECTIVE

  • GOGGLES ON.

  • >> YOU DO HAVE TO DO THE VEST F

  • YOU CAN DO THE VEST, POP IT

  • RIGHT OVER THERE.

  • (LAUGHTER)

  • >> Dave: THAT WILL WORK.

  • >> PERFECT.

  • (APPLAUSE)

  • >> Dave: I'M HAVING A LITTLE

  • TROUBLE BREATHING, THE CAROTID

  • ARTERY DOESN'T SEEM TO BE

  • WORKING.

  • >> I WILL GIVE YOU YOUR OWN

  • BLASTER.

  • LET ME SHOW YOU, EVERY TIME YOU

  • WANT TO SHOOT GIVE IT A QUICK

  • PUMP AND BASICALLY IT WILL STICK

  • TO YOUR VEST OR MY VEST.

  • >> SORRY, MA'AM.

  • >> DO YOU NEED SOME HELP.

  • >> Dave: NO, I'M FINE, SHANNON.

  • YOU'VE DONE PLENTY ALREADY

  • TONIGHT.</