レイト・ショー・ウィズ・デイヴィッド・レターマン (Late Show With David Letterman)

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>> Paul: HO!
>> Dave: YOU KNOW, THE BIG
BLOCKBUSTER OF THE SUMMER OPENED
UP, "WAR OF THE WORLDS".
HOW MANY GOT A CHANCE TO SEE
"WAR OF THE WORLDS".
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
>> Dave: YOU HAD HUH?
YOU SAW "WAR OF THE WORLDS" AND
THEN YOU WENT OVER TO DOC'S
HOUSE.
(APPLAUSE)
>> WELL, IN THE MOVIE, YOU KNOW
WHAT THE MOVIE IS THE "WAR OF
THE WORLDS", THE ALIENS ATTACK
NEW JERSEY.
THEY ATTACK NEW JERSEY.
ACTUALLY, ACTUALLY THEY FIRST
LANDED IN MANHATTAN AND WERE
DRIVEN OUT BY THE PRICES. YOU'VE
SEEN THE TOYS THAT THIS WOMAN
HAS.
>> Paul: OKAY.
>> Dave: NOW I DON'T KNOW WHY WE
DIDN'T DO THIS YEARS AGO.
WE COULDN'T DO THIS SHOW NIGHT
IN AND NIGHT OUT WITHOUT THE
YOUNG MEN AND WOMEN WHO ARE
PAGES AT CBS.
>> Paul: OH YES.
>> Dave: THEY COME TO WORK EARLY
AND THEY HAVE TO PUT ON THOSE
POLYESTER THINGS AND THEY HELP
PEOPLE, THEY ARE FRIENDLY.
THEY ARE LIKE TOUR GUIDES, LIKE
PARK RANGERS, LIKE RED CROSS,
THEY ARE PUBLIC SERVICE, THEY
ARE EDUCATIONAL, INFOTAKENABLE.
>> THEY HELP.
>> Dave: THEY ARE AN INTEGRAL
PART OF THIS PRODUCTION SO
TONIGHT, IT WAS CALLED TO MY
ATTENTION.
WE HAVE A GENTLEMAN WHO IS A
PAGE AND HE HAS BEEN A PAGE HERE
AT CBS FOR 37 YEARS.
>> WOW!
NO KIDDING?
>> DID YOU KNOW THAT?
>> I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WAS A
PAGE FOR THAT LONG.
>> Dave: A PAGE FOR 37 YEARS.
I THOUGHT IT WAS A COUPLE OF
YEARS BUT THIS MAN HAS MADE A
CAREER OF IT.
I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUN TO
BRING HIM OUT TONIGHT.
PLEASE WELCOME OUR GOOD FRIEND
JOHNNY, THE OLDEST, THE OLDEST
CBS PAGE, JOHNNY, WHERE ARE YOU?
(APPLAUSE)
>> Dave: NICE TO SEE YOU,
JOHNNIE.
TAKE A BOW.
THAT A BOY.
(APPLAUSE)
>> Dave: JOHNNY, THANK YOU VERY
MUCH.
I KNOW YOU HAVE A BUSY SCHEDULE.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TAKING THE
TIME TO BE WITH US HERE TONIGHT.
HOW ARE YOU, BY THE WAY?
>> LIVING A DREAM, DAVE.
(LAUGHTER)
>> LIVING A FRIGGIN DREAM.
>> Paul: WHOA, HEY.
(APPLAUSE)
>> Dave: WAIT A MINUTE.
>> Dave: THAT'S JOHNNY.
>> Paul: WHO IS THIS GUY?
>> I DON'T THINK ARE YOU ALLOWED
TO SMOKE IN THE THEATRE.
I'M SORRY.
>> FINE, CALL A COP!
>> Dave: DID YOU HEAR WHAT HE --
I DIDN'T HEAR WHAT HE SAID.
>> Paul: I DON'T KNOW.
>> Dave: TELL US ABOUT YOUR LIFE
T SOUNDS GLAMOUROUS, DO YOU
ENJOY BEING A PAGE?
>> OH YEAH, YEAH, I LIKE BEING A
PAGE.
AND I LIKE HAVING HOT COAL
PACKED UP MY --
(LAUGHTER)
>> Dave: ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
AND MAYBE IT'S JUST ME BUT YOU
SOUND JUST A LITTLE -- A LITTLE
BITER.
HAVE YOU DONE OTHER THINGS, I
MEAN BEFORE YOU WERE A PAGE OR
TRIED OTHER JOBS OR ANYTHING?
>> YEAH, WELL, '94 MY COUSIN AND
I WE STARTED A ROOFING BUSINESS.
>> Dave: ROOFING BUSINESS, THAT
SOUNDS LIKE A LOT OF FUN.
>> OH YEAH T WAS PARADISE UNTIL
ONE OF THE ILLEGALS FELL OFF A
LADDER AND DISLOCATED HIS ELBOW.
NEXT THING YOU KNOW IMMIGRATION
POKING AROUND AND -- EVERYTHING
GOES -- UP.
(APPLAUSE)
>> Dave: REALLY?
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
WOW!, SORRY TO HEAR THAT.
DID YOU HEAR THAT, PAUL?
>> YEAH, I HEARD WHAT HE SAID,
YEAH.
>> Dave: YEAH.
ALL RIGHT, WELL LET'S FORGET
ABOUT THE ROOFING BUSINESS.
I THINK WHAT PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW
WHAT IS YOUR JOB HERE AS A CBS
PAGE.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
WHAT ARE YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES?
>> YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT I DO.
I'M THE GUY THAT TELLS THIS
CROWD THEY CANNOT QUELL"
LETTERMAN SUCKS "NO, LETTERMAN
DOES NOT SUC.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS T IS
ANOTHER ROCKING HOLIDAY WEEKEND,
COMING, DAVE, ALL RIGHT, HIT IT
LINDA.
♪ TELL ME WHEN WILL YOU BE
MINE ♪
♪ TELL ME QUONDOQUONDO ♪
♪ WE CAN SHARE YOUR LOVE --
>> DROP BY BEN I BEGANS IN ROUTE
76 FOR JOHNNY FIRECRACKER'S
FOURTH OF JULY PARTY.
CHECK IT OUT.
LADIES DRINK FREE!
(APPLAUSE)
♪ TELL ME WHEN WILL YOU BE BY ♪
♪.
>> Dave: JOHNNY, THE OLDEST CBS
PAGE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
>> Dave: WOW!.
(APPLAUSE)
>> Dave: SORRY TO HEAR THAT
ABOUT THE ROOFING BUSINESS THEY
HAD.
>> Paul: IT WENT -- UP,
APPARENTLY.
>> Dave: APPARENTLY.
(LAUGHTER)
>> Dave: DON'T YOU HATE WHEN
THAT HAPPENS?
ACTUALLY, DOESN'T HAPPEN OFTEN
ENOUGH IN MY LIFE.
AND NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
IT'S TIME FOR THE LATE SHOW WEEK
IN REVIEW.
♪ LADIES AND GENT ♪
♪ LATE SHOW WEEK IN REVIEW ♪♪
HERE'S DAVE!
>> Dave: ALL RIGHT.
(APPLAUSE)
>> Dave: THIS, OF COURSE, AS YOU
KNOW IS THE FIRST FULL WEEK OF
SUMMER AND I THOUGHT I HAD ALL
THE BASIC PROVISION I NEEDED FOR
THE SUMMER SEASON UNTIL I SAW
THIS VALUABLE REMINDER ON
TELEVISION.
TAKE A LOOK.
>> SUMMERTIME IS FINALLY HERE.
BUT BEFORE YOU PUT ON YOUR
SUMMER WHITES, REMEMBER TO PICK
UP A BOTTLE OF SPRAY 'N WASH.
NEW AND IMPROVED SPRAY 'N WASH
WILL MAKE EVEN THE MOST STUBBORN
STAINS DISAPPEAR.
WHETHER YOU'VE BEEN WORKING IN
THE GARDEN, PLAYING ON THE LAWN,
OR JUST EATING DORRITOES IN YOUR
UNDERPANTS, SPRAY 'N WASH, YOUR.
>> IS GOOD NEWS.
>> Dave: YEAH.
THIS WEEK THE SENATE BEGAN
CONSIDERING A CONSTITUTIONAL
AMENDMENT TO BAN FLAG BURNING.
HERE NOW WITH A COMMENTARY IS
OUR OWN ANNOUNCER ALAN,.
>> THANK YOU, DAVE.
OUR FLAG HAS A PROUD HISTORY
DATING BACK TO ITS CREATION IN
1776.
IT DESERVES THE RESPECT THAT WE
WOULD AFFORD THE NOBLE
PRINCIPLESES THAT GUIDE OUR
GREAT NATION.
WE MUST REMEMBER THAT THE FLAG
IS A SYMBOL OF THE FREEDOMS WE
HOLD DEAR.
INCLUDING THE FREEDOM TO DISSENT
EVEN TO THE POINT THAT DEFACING
THAT SYMBOL.
SAY NO TO THE CONSTITUTIONAL
AMENDMENT.
>> Dave: THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
ALAN.
>> THANK YOU, DAVE.
>> Dave: NICELY PUT.
THAT'S NICE.
ALAN.
AND BY THE WAY, AN EXTRA TIP OF
THE HAT, I BELIEVE ARE YOU
DRESSED AS THE CREATOR OF THE
FLAG, BETSY ROSS.
>> DAVE, DAVE, NO, MY DRY
CLEANER SCREWED UP AND I'M GOING
TO SUE THEIR NUTS OFF.
(LAUGHTER)
>> Dave: ALL RIGHT THEN.
>> Dave: THANK YOU SO MUCH.
NOW THAT THE FOURTH OF JULY HAS
RIFED, TAKE A LOOK AT SOME.
BEST NEW TOYS AVAILABLE FOR KIDS
THIS SUMMER.
HERE TO HELP US IS OUR TOY
EXPERT SHANNON ICE, ALWAYS A
PLEASURE, SHANNON.
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
>> YOU AS WELL.
>> Dave: HOW IS YOUR SUMMER
GOING.
>> FABULOUS, VERY HOT.
>> Dave: WHAT WE KNOW FROM
PREVIOUS VISIT, THAT THE TOY
INDUSTRY SAY MULTIBILLION-DOLLAR
BUSINESS, ISN'T IT.
>> CORRECT.
>> Dave: WHAT DO WE HAVE IN.
>> WE WILL START HERE WITH THE
NERF BLASTER, DO YOU WANT TO
WEAR PROTECTIVE GOGGLES.
>> I HAVE MY OWN PROTECTIVE
GOGGLES ON.
>> YOU DO HAVE TO DO THE VEST F
YOU CAN DO THE VEST, POP IT
RIGHT OVER THERE.
(LAUGHTER)
>> Dave: THAT WILL WORK.
>> PERFECT.
(APPLAUSE)
>> Dave: I'M HAVING A LITTLE
TROUBLE BREATHING, THE CAROTID
ARTERY DOESN'T SEEM TO BE
WORKING.
>> I WILL GIVE YOU YOUR OWN
BLASTER.
LET ME SHOW YOU, EVERY TIME YOU
WANT TO SHOOT GIVE IT A QUICK
PUMP AND BASICALLY IT WILL STICK
TO YOUR VEST OR MY VEST.
>> SORRY, MA'AM.
>> DO YOU NEED SOME HELP.
>> Dave: NO, I'M FINE, SHANNON.
YOU'VE DONE PLENTY ALREADY
TONIGHT.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> Dave: WHY DOESN'T MINE WORK.
>> THERE YOU GO.
>> Dave: BUT THEN LOOK, IT JUST
COMES DOWN TO THIS.
>> IT'S ALL ABOUT TIMING I
THINK.
>> Dave: LIKE MY HONEYMOON.
(LAUGHTER)
>> OKAY,.
>> Dave: WHAT DO THOSE THINGS
COST, THE NERF ITEMS.
>> 39.99.
>> Dave: 40 BUCKS!
40 BUCKS!
>> YES, YES AND THE GOGGLES.
>> ALL RIGHT, FINE, SURE.
THE GOGGLES, THE KIDS CAN USE
THE GOGGLES IN EVERY OTHER WALK
OF LIFE.
>> CORRECT.
>> Dave: .
>> SO THIS IS GOE YOUR
PERSONAL SLURPEE MAKE ENGINEER
SLURPEES ARE VERY POPULAR.
>> WE GIVE IT A QUICK SPIN.
>> Dave: DO WE NEED GOGGLES FOR
THAT.
>> HOPEFULLY NOT.
>> Dave: HOW ABOUT A SPECIAL
VEST.
>> SO I'M GOING TO GIVE IT A
QUICK PULL.
>> Dave: AND THIS KIDS WHO LIKE
THE LITTLE LEMONADE STAND CAN
HAVE A SLURPEE STAND S THAT
RIGHT?
>> CORRECT.
AND THEN SO YEAH, THAT'S --
>> THAT WILL BE COOL AROUND
LAIRB DAY, YOU THINK.
>> THAT THAT'S PLENTY OF KNOW
MOORE, SHANNON, I COULDN'T
PROBABLY DRIMING ALL THAT.
>> I THINK WE'RE HAVING A
FREEZING SITUATION, SORRY ABOUT
THAT.
>> Dave: BUT AGAIN, HOW MUCH IS
THAT ITEM.
>> THIS RUNS FOR 19.99.
>> Dave: AND WORTH EVERY PENNY.
>> YUP.
>> Dave: YOU GO DOWN TO ITS
7-ELEVEN FOR THAT KIND OF DOUGH
AND BUY SLURPEES FOR LIFE.
>> THIS IS SUPERSOAKER.
>> Dave: A GUY, A FELLOW
INVENTED THIS YEARS AGO AND JUST
BECAUSE HE WANTED A BETTER
SQUIRT GUN AND NOW.
>> THIS IS EVEN BETTER, A FLU
FLASH FLOOD, DO THE FIRST
VERSION, YOU PULL THAT WHEN ARE
YOU READY.
>> Dave: WOW!.
>> GIVE IT A QUICK PUMP.
>>
(LAUGHTER)
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
>> NOW WILL YOU PULL THIS BACK
AND IT'S GOING TO GO.
>> WHOA.
>> GIVE IT ANOTHER PUMP
(LAUGHTER)
>> Dave: YOU KNOW, THIS RIGHT
HERE WOULD BE A NICE TOY.
(LAUGHTER)
>> Dave: WOW!.
>> OR YOU CAN DO --
>> THAT IS TREMENDOUS WHAT DOES
THIS ITEM COST.
>> Dave: OH, WOW!, THE OLD SUPER
SOAKER, HOLDS HOW MANY GALLONS
OF WATER THERE.
>> NOT QUITE GAL -- GALLONS.
>> Dave: KIDS LOVE THIS.
>> THEY DO THEY LOVE T.
>> Dave: AND HOW MUCH IS THAT.
>> THIS IS 29.99.
>> Dave: 29.99 BUT YOU KNOW,
AGAIN, IF YOU GOT A HOSE AND
SPIGOT, JUST HOOKUP THE HOSE.
>> NOT QUITE AS PORTABLE.
>> Dave: MOM AND DAD'S WATER
BILL GOES SKY-HIGH.
(APPLAUSE)
>> WE'RE GOING TO JUMP AROUND
FRONT HERE.
>> Dave: OKAY.
>> WE'RE GOING TO, SO FIRST
WE'RE GOING TO HE IS A REMOTE
CONTROL SKATEBOARD.
>> Dave: IS THIS GUY WITH YOU,
BY THE WAY SHANNON.
A MAN LYING ON THE FLOOR.
>> SO I'M GOING TO TURN THIS ON.
DO YOU WANT TO GO FOR A WHIRL.
>> Dave: I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T
WANT TO GET HURT.
>> LET ME GET YOU A HELMET TOO.
SO THIS PULL BACK IS GOING TO BE
TO GO FORWARD AND TO PUSH
FORWARD IS TO STOP.
>> Dave: DO I HAVE TO BE ON THE
THING TO LET IT GO.
>> NO, BUT IT'S MORE --
>> DO WANT TO BE ON IT.
>> Dave: WAIT A MINUTE, I WILL
GET IT.
COME BACK HERE.
(APPLAUSE)
>> Dave: TAKE MY BOARD FOR A
WALK, THANKS, EDDIE.
NOW I'M COMING OVER THERE.
>> DO YOU WANT THE HELMET.
>> Dave: IS THERE A HIGH
COEFFICIENT OF DANGER.
>> HOW SKATEBOARD SAVVY ARE YOU.
>> Dave: I'M NOT SKATEBOARD
SAVVY.
>> YEAH, THEN YOU SHOULD TAKE
IT.
>> Dave: OKAY.
>> GOT IT.
>> JUST HOLD THE HELMET.
>> Dave: YOU KNOW T WOULD BE A
LOT EASIER IF IT WASN'T REMOTE
CONTROLLED.
>> RIGHT.
THERE YOU GO.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
>> Dave: WHOO!
I COULD GO FOR A SLURPEE NOW.
(LAUGHTER)
>> Dave: WHAT ELSE ARE WE DOING
HERE.
WHAT ABOUT THE AIRPLANES.
>> WE'RE GOING TO GET TO THEM.
I WILL SHOW NEW REAL QUICK.
WE THINK YOU MIGHT LIKE THIS.
>> Dave: NOW THIS IS LIKE A --
THIS IS SEVERAL HUNDRED DOLLARS,
ISN'T IT.
>> THIS IS $600.
(APPLAUSE)
>> Dave: NOW $600, IT'S TOO
EXPENSIVE FOR A TOY.
I MEAN A KID SHOULD NOT HAVE A
$600 TOY.
>> ONE OF THOSE FAO EXCLUSIVES.
>> I DON'T CARE.
NOW YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER, ONE DAY
YOU THINK OH I WILL LAY DOWN SIX
PIGS FOR MY DAUGHTER TO HAVE A
GO-CART.
>> NO.
>> Dave: PAUL, WOULD YOU BUY ANY
MEMBER OF YOUR FAMILY A $600
GO-CART.
>> Paul: MY KIDS ARE A LITTLE
SPOILED.
>> Dave: SO YOU WOULD DO THIS.
>> Paul: THIS IS THE KIND OF
THING I WOULD -- YEAH.
>> Dave: THAT'S NOT RIGHT.
>> Paul: YOU SHOULD SEE MY
GARAGE.
>> FOR THAT KIND OF GO DOUGH GO
TO AVIS AND RENT HIM A CAR FOR
THE WEEKEND.
>> I WILL SHOW YOU A QUICK SPIN,
IT GOES UP TO $18 MILES AN HOUR
FOR KIDS EIGHT --
>> CAN I GET ON WITH YOU.
>> DO YOU WANT TO GET ON?
>> LET'S BOTH GET ON.
CAN WE BOTH GET IN THERE.
>> YOU GO FIRST.
>> OH, GEEZ, AND WHO MAKES THIS?
(LAUGHTER)
>> ARE YOU ON.
>> Dave: I GUESS I AM ON.
>> THAT IS THE GAS, FORWARD.
LET ME GET THIS OUT OF YOUR WAY.
>> Dave: WELL, IT'S NOT -- I
CAN'T -- MAYBE I BET REMEMBER
HAVE THE HELMET.
(LAUGHTER)
>> Dave: IT DOESN'T SEEM TO BE
GOING.
WHAT HAVE I DONE HERE.
OF COURSE IF YOU WANT IT TO MOVE
YOU HAVE TO BUY THE $800
GO-CART.
GO.
HERE WE ARE.
>> MAYBE THE BRAKE WORKS, TRY
THE BRAKE.
>> Dave: WHY WOULD I POSSIBLY
NEED THE BRAKE.
(LAUGHTER)
THE BRAKE SEEMS TO BE
FUNCTIONING.
I HAVE NEVER FELT SUCH STOPPING
POWER.
(LAUGHTER)
(APPLAUSE)
>> Dave: NOW WOULD YOU SAY $600
FOR THAT.
>> NOT FOR THAT, NO.
BUT I HAVE THREE.
>> Dave: WHAT IF WE USE THIS?
(LAUGHTER)
>> Paul: OH THERE IT GOES.
>> THESE WILL WORK.
SO WE'RE GOING -- WE'RE GOING TO
TAKE YOURS.
>> HALF THROTTLE FOR TEN
SECONDS.
>> OH, THESE ARE GREAT.
THESE ARE NOT TOO EXPENSIVE.
>> THESE ARE $16 FOR AGES EIGHT
AND UP.
SO JUST WHEN ARE YOU READY TO GO
JUST GIVE IT FULL THROTTLE.
>> LET ME GIVE YOU THAT ONE INTO
THAT IS NICE.
OH, WHOA!
HOW ABOUT THAT.
THIS IS TREMENDOUS.
(APPLAUSE)
INTO THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT.
THESE ARE A LOT OF FUN.
OKAY, READY?
ONE MORE.
>> ONE MORE.
>> Dave: WHO MAKES THESE THESE
DEALS.
>> THESE ARE MADE -- SORRY, BY
KID GALAXY AND WE GOT THESE AT
KAZOO TOYS.COM.
>> Dave: OH, SORRY.
>> SORRY.
>> Dave: LISTEN, THANK YOU VERY
MUCH, SHANNON, HAVE A LOVELY
SUMMER.
(APPLAUSE)
SHANNON ICE.
>> Dave: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK
WITH
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH, GREAT TO
BE HERE HERE.
>> Dave: HOW IS YOUR SUMMER.
>> PHENOMENAL, REALLY GREAT.
SOMETHING ALWAYS HAPPENS TO ME
WHEN I COME TO NEW YORK.
>> Dave: IS THAT RIGHT?
>> INEVITABLE.
I GET IN LAST NIGHT WITH MY
FAMILY.
I GET INTO BED.
YOU OWE TRYING TO GET A GOOD
NIGHT'S SLEEP, WANTING TO BE
FRESH FOR YOU.
>> I APPRECIATE THAT.
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH, YEAH.
SO GETTING IN BED, AND I AM
HEARING THIS BANGING AND
CRASHING AND STUFF GOING ON.
>> Dave: OH MY GOD.
>> AND I THINK OH MY GOD,
MICHELLE, SOMEONE IS BREAKING
INTO THE ROOM.
>> Dave: RIGHT, SURE.
>> SO I GET OUT OF BED AND I'M
LOOKING ALL OVER THE PLACE.
AND I FINALLY TRACK IT DOWN TO
MY KID'S ROOMS.
>> OOH.
>> RIGHT.
SO I OPEN THE DOOR AND IT MY
DAUGHTER, MY SIX-YEAR-OLD
DAUGHTER ODESSA AND SHE HAS
MY -- IN HER HANDS AND SHE IS
PRESSING THE BUTTON IN HER SLEEP
AND IT'S GOING IT'S CLOBBER
COLLAB ARING TIME OVER AN OVER
AGAIN.
THAT'S NOT ENOUGH, I GO BACK TO
SLEEP, FINALLY AT 3:00 IN THE
MORNING I'M TRYING TO FALL
ASLEEP AND AGAIN BANG, BANG.
LIKE THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE.
THE THING IS RIGHT THERE NEXT TO
MY BED.
YOU KNOW, IT'S GOT TO BE.
I MUST TELL YOU, DAVE, I SLEEP
AWE NATURAL.
>> Dave: OH, THANK YOU.
>> WELL, YOU KNOW, THERE IS A
POINT TO THAT.
IN THAT I GET OUT OF BED AGAIN
AND I'M LOOKING FOR MY BASEBALL
BAT AND IT'S NOT HERE BECAUSE
I'M NOT AT HOME.
AND I GO TO THE WINDOWS AND I --
IT'S OUTSIDE AND I AM'S ON THE
50th FLOOR OF THIS PLACE.
SO I THROW OPEN THE CURTAINS,
AND THERE IS A WINDOW WASHER
STANDING IT THERE AND I'M
LIKE --
(LAUGHTER)
>> AND COY HAVE SWORN I SAW THE
GUY SAY TO THE OTHER GUY, I SAW
THE THING.
(APPLAUSE)
>> I'M ALWAYS HAVING THINGS LIKE
THAT IN NEW YORK.
>> Dave: I'M ALWAYS TRAVELING
WITH MY BASEBALL BAT F YOU KNOW
WHAT I MEAN. AND
SAYING MAMMY IF I WAS JUST ON
FIRE.
>> Dave: LET'S TALK ABOUT THE
FILM, OPENS JULY 8TH "FANTASTIC
FOUR"
RUN IT DOWN FOR US.
>> JOHNNY STORM.
>> Dave: THE THING.
>> THE THING, OF COURSE.
>> Dave: WHAT IS THE DEAL ON THE
THING, WHAT IS HIS GIG.
>> BIG ORANGE ROCK GUY, ROCK
HARD HE-MAN.
>> Dave: SUPERPOWERS.
>> STRENGTH, INTENSE STRENGTH.
>> Dave: UNBELIEVABLE STRENGTH.
>> AND HE IS A CURMUDGEON.
>> Dave: THAT IS THE THING.
>> THEN Mr. FANTASTIC WHO CAN
ELONGATE ANY PART OF HIS BODY.
>> Dave: LOOKOUT 14R578
(APPLAUSE)
>> IN WHATEVER WAY.
>> Dave: REALLY?
THERE IS YOUR MOVIE, NO OFFENCE
BUT --
(APPLAUSE)
>> DON'T FORGET, DON'T FORGET
THE INVISIBLE WOMAN.
>> Dave: THE INVISIBLE WOMAN
>> PLAYED BY JESSICA ALBA.
>> Dave: SHE'S LOVELY.
>> YES, SHE CAN TURN HERSELF
INVISIBLE, WHICH I DON'T HAVE
ANY IDEA WHY YOU WOULD WANT TO
DO THAT.
BUT SHE CAN.
AND E ALSO CAN LAUNCH A FORCE
FIELD.
AND THEN THERE IS ALSO JOHNNY
STORM WHO CAN BURST INTO FLAMES.
>> Dave: YES.
>> WHICH SOME OF MY FRIENDS FROM
THE VILLAGE CAN DO TOO.
>> Dave: NOW THAT BURSTING INTO
FLAMES, THAT'S COOL AND ALL, BUT
I'M TELLING YOU, I GOT TO PUT MY
MONEY ON Mr. FANTASTIC
(APPLAUSE)
>> Dave: ARE YOU READY, BIFF?
ALL RIGHT, COME ON OUT.
(LAUGHTER)
>> Dave: YOU'LL BE FINE.
COME ON.
(LAUGHTER)
>> Dave: HERE YOU GO.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
>> Dave: YOU OKAY, BUDDY?
NEED A HAND GETTING OUT OF
THERE?
PUT IT IN REVERSE.
YOU CAN JUST BACK IT ON OUT?
YEAH, THERE YOU GO.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
>> Dave: PERFECT.
TURN IT AROUND.
NOW FORWARD K YOU HIT FORWARD?
I WOULDN'T EITHER -- AND NOW
JUST CALL THE AAA.
(LAUGHTER)
INTO TIME TO PLAY ♪ WILL IT
FLOAT?
♪
♪ ♪ WILL IT FLOAT ♪
♪ WILL IT FLOAT?
♪
♪ WILL IT FLOAT?
♪
♪ WILL IT FLOAT?
♪
♪.
>> Dave: NOW HERE IS THE PERFECT
TOY TORE THE KIDS FOR THE CUMMER
THE WILL IT FLOAT HOME GAME.
EVERYTHING IN ONE BOX.
YOU CAN HAVE JUST AS MUCH FUN AT
HOME AS WE HAVE EVERY FRIDAY
NIGHT IN THE THEATRE AND IT ONLY
COSTS YOU 1995.
WHAT IS THE ITEM WE GOING TO
FLOAT OR SINK.
>> DAVE T IS A 10.8 OUNCE BOTTLE
OF HAWAIIAN TROPIC SUNTAN
LOTION.
>> Dave: 10, 11 OUNCES OF SUN
LOTION IN A PLASTIC SQUEEZE
BOTTLE.
>> PLASTIC SQUEEZE BOTEL.
>> I HAVE BEEN BURNED TOO MANY
TIMES BY THESE PLASTIC BOTTLES.
I SAY IT WILL FLOAT.
>> Paul: OF COURSE IT WILL
FLOAT.
>> Dave: IT IS GOING TO FLOAT.
WHAT ARE WE PLAYING FOR.
>> WE ARE PLAYING FOR A
BRAND-NEW PATIO NUN TURE SET.
BACK TO YOU, DAVE!
>> Dave: LIKE TO HAVE ONE OF
THAT.
BE NICE THIS TIME OF YEAR.
(APPLAUSE)
>> Paul: I NEED --
>> I SAY IT WILL FLOAT WHAT DO
YOU SAY.
>> Paul: ALSO FLOAT.
>> Dave: LET'S PLAY WILL IT
FLOAT, HERE WE GO, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN.
HOW ARE YOU.
THANK YOU.
ANY TIME, GIRLS.
ANY TIME.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
>> Dave: THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
SEE YOU GIRLS LATER.
THE BIG WILL IT FLOAT PARTY.
♪ WILL IT FLOAT?
♪
♪ WILL IT FLOAT?
♪
♪ WILL IT FLOAT?
♪
♪ WILL IT FLOAT?
♪
♪ WILL IT FLOAT?
♪
♪.
>> Dave: YEAH.
YEAH.
>> Paul: ENJOYED THAT.
>> Dave: LET'S SEE IF THE
GO-CART FLOATS.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
>> WELL, THERE YOU GO.
MY THANKS TO GARY MULE DEER,
MICHAEL CHIKLIS AND SHANNON ICE
WITH THE LOVELY TOYS OF SUMMER.
>> YEAH.
>> AND ALSO JOHNNY DARK, THE CBS
OLDEST PAGE.
NOW OF COURSE MONDAY IS THE
HOLIDAY S THAT RIGHT?
JULY 4TH.
SO HAPPY JULY FOURTH, EVERYBODY.
MARTIN SHORT WILL BE HERE AND
ALICIA, THAT'S THE SHOW.
THANKS FOR WATCHING.
GOOD NIGHT, EVER