レイトショー・ウィズ・デイヴィッド・レターマン - イーサン・ホーク/マリア・メノウヌス (Late Show with David Letterman - Ethan Hawke/Maria Menounus)

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>> Paul: GOOD.
( Laughter )
>> Dave: HOW MANY FOLKS WENT UP
TO CENTRAL PARK TODAY?
ANY OF YOU GO TO CENTRAL PARK?
( Applause )
THERE'S ONE OF THOSE GIANT ART
PROJECTS GOING ON, A CREW OF 100
WORKERS IS COVERING CENTRAL MARK
CENTRAL PARK WITH 25 MILES OF
COLORFUL FABRIC.
IT'S AMAZING.
THE SAME TEAM THAT PUT TOGETHER
STAR JONES' WEDDING DRESS.
( Applause )
BEAUTIFUL.
♪ ♪
>> Dave: THE WEATHER HERE IN NEW
YORK CITY IS NICE, VERY PLEASANT
VERY MILD TODAY.
BUT OUT IN CALIFORNIA, IT'S THE
RAINY SEASON IN CALIFORNIA AND
THE GOOD NEWS IS THE MUD SLIDES
ARE PUTTING OUT THE BRUSHFIRES.
SO THAT'S....
( Applause )
THAT'S ALWAYS SOMETHING NICE TO
HAVE HAPPEN.
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU FOLKS HEARD
ABOUT THIS.
ANOTHER RUMOR OUT OF THE MIDEAST
THERE'S RUMORS THAT OSAMA BIN
LADEN HAS MOVED TO A MAJOR CITY.
ISN'T THAT ODD?
APPARENTLY HE PLANS TO KEEP HIS
CAVE FOR THE WEEKENDS.
(
>> Dave: YES.
>> Paul: MARVELOUSLY, SIR AND
YOU.
>> Dave: JUST FINE.
LET'S TRY THIS.
( Drumroll )
( Drumroll )
( Applause ) I T BUSINESS, YOU ,
THOSE GUYS WITH THE...
( Drumroll )
( Applause ) SHE DOES OR
HER LICENSE PLATE.
MARIA MENOUNOS IS JOINING US.
( Applause )
♪ ♪
>> Dave: WHAT HAPPENED TO THE
GROUP MENOUNOS?
REMEMBER THE GROUP?
>> Paul: THEY GOT TOO OLD AND
GOT FIRED.
>> Dave: IS THAT RIGHT?
WASN'T THAT A BIG DEAL FOR A
WHILE, MENOUNOS?
>> YOU COULD ONLY BE UP TO 17.
I THINK WE'VE DONE IT ONCE
BEFORE AND IT WAS A WONDERFUL
EXCITING HIT WE ARE GOING TO DO
IT AGAIN TONIGHT.
A LITTLE SOMETHING CALLED GUESS
THE PUDDLE
♪ GUESS, GUESS, GUESS
♪ GUESS THE PUDDLE ♪
>> Dave: GET UP!
SGLET.
>> Paul: GET DOWN.
>> Dave: GET DOWN.
>> Paul: GET DOWN.
>> Dave: HUP, HUP WAIT A MINUTE.
I THINK RUPERT CLOSED.
ARE YOU STILL OPEN,UPERT?
WE NEED TO YOU GO OUTSIDE AND
PICK A CONTESTANT FOR GUESS THE
PUDDLE.
SOMEBODY REALLY GOOD, SOMEBODY
EXCITING.
>> Rupert: OKAY, DAVE.
>> Dave: WE ARE GOING TO BE
PLAYING GUESS THE PUDDLE A
LITTLE LATER.
WE'LL CHECK BACK IN WITH YOU.
RUPERT G, LADIES AND G
EN.
OWNER OF THE HELLO DELI.
HOO-HAH.
>> Paul: GET UP.
( Laughter )
>> Dave: YOU KNOW, MARTHA
STEWART IS GOING TO BE OUT OF
THE CAN BEFORE LONG.
>> Paul: THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Dave: AND I'M VERY EXCITED
BECAUSE THEY'RE GIVING HER HER
OWN TELEVISION SHOW AND I
PREDICT IT IS GOING TO BE AN
ENORMOUS HIT AND GO RIGHT UP
AGAINST OPRAH.
PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO WATCH OPRAH
ANYMORE.
THEY WANT TO HEAR STORIES ABOUT
THE SLAMMER.
AND MARTHA WILL HAVE HER CON
BUDDIES ON.
AND THERE'S NOT A HOUSEWIFE IN
AMERICA WHO DOESN'T CRAVE PRISON
STORIES.
>> Paul: I AGREE WITH THAT.
>> Dave: THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE
GOING TO GET.
BUT ANYWAY, MARTHA STEWART
RELEASED AN ANNOUNCEMENT RIGHT
AFTER NEW YEAR'S.
I SAW IT LAST NIGHT.
TAKE A LOOK.
>> Announcer: MARTHA STEWART
REGRETS THAT SHE HAS ALREADY
BROKEN TWO OF HER NEW YEAR'S
RESOLUTIONS: LAST NIGHT SHE USED
PEPPER FROM A SHAKER INSTEAD OF
FRESH GROUND.
AND THIS MORNING, SHE STABBED A
RIVAL GANG MEMBER IN THE PRISON
LAUNDRY.
HOPEFULLY THESE LAPSES WON'T
HAPPEN AGAIN.ARTHA
AND I LOVED HER EVEN BEFORE SHE
WENT TO PRISON.
AND I WANT TO HAVE HER ON THE
SHOW, BUT I'M AFRAID NOW BECAUSE
WE'VE MADE THESE JOKES ABOUT HER
BEING IN PRISON.
SO MANY OF OUR BIG STARS TODAY
ARE IN JAIL, AND THEY DON'T...
THEY DON'T LIKE IT WHEN YOU POKE
FUN AT THEM.
SO IT'S HARD ENOUGH FOR TO US
GET GUESTS ON THE SHOW WHO
HAVEN'T BEEN IN JAIL.
>> Paul: I'M HIP.
>> Dave: I JUST WONDER IF MARTHA
WILL BE ABLE TO COME AND BE ON
OUR SHOW.
>> Paul: I'M SURE SHE WILL.
>> Dave: I HOPE SHE DOES.
I WON'T BLAME HER IF SHE FEELS
SHE CAN'T BECAUSE I MADE JOKES
OF HER.
WHEN I GO TO PRISON, I DON'T
WANT PEOPLE MAKING JOKES ABOUT
ME.
THAT'S JUST HUMAN NATURE.
>> Paul: I'LL REMEMBER THAT.
>> Dave: GET UP, GET DOWN.
>> Paul: GET DOWN.
>> Dave: GET UP.
>> Paul: GET DOWN.
>> Dave: BY THE WAY, TALK ABOUT
A WONDERFUL SHOW EVERY OVER
THERE ON NBC, I RUE THE DAY WE
GOT FIRED OUT OF THAT PLACE.
( Laughter )
THEY HAVE SOME MARVELOUS
PROGRAMS.
ONE OVER THERE CALLED THE MEDIUM
ON NBC ABOUT A WOMAN WHO IS A
DETECTIVE AND SHE TALKS TO DEAD
PEOPLE.
>> Paul: NO KIDDING.
>> Dave: IT'S A RUNAWAY
BLOCKBUSTER.
YOU ARE GOING TO SEE SHOWS LIKE
THIS EVERYWHERE.
A SHOW CALLE MEDIUM ON NBC.
WATCH THIS PROMO.
>> Announcer: NBC MONDAY IS MORE
SUSPENSEFUL THAN EVER WITH THE
NEW DRAMA MEDIUM, A SUBURBAN
MOTHER BY DAY, A SUPER NATURAL
SLEUTH BY NIGHT, ALISON DUBOIS
SOLVES THE CRIMES NO ONE ELSE
CAN BY TALKING TO THE DEAD.
DON'T MISS THE NEXT STAR STUDDED
EPISODE AS ALISON GETS CLUES
FROM SPECIAL DEAD GUEST STARS,
LORNE GREEN, NBC.
>> Dave: THAT'S GOT HIT WRITTEN
ALL OVER IT.
>> Paul: DUDE.
( Applause )
SGLOD HERE'S SOMETHING YOU DON'T
SEE A LOT OF ON TV. Dave: GOOD.
TONIGHT YOUR LUCK CONTINUES
BECAUSE YOU'RE HERE TO PLAY
GUESS THE PUDDLE
♪ GUESS, GUESS, GUESS
♪ THE PUDDLE ♪
>> Dave: ALL RIGHT.
ALAN HEADQUARTERS WHAT IS SARAH
PLAYING FOR TONIGHT ON GUESS THE
LE.
>> Alan: A CUISINART RICE
COOKER.
>> Dave: ARE YOU GOING TO TELL
US WHAT THE PUDDLE IS?
>> Alan: I AM.
>> Dave: DON'T LISTEN.
ALAN IS GOING TO TELL THE HOME
VIEWERS WHAT THE PUDDLE IS.
>>.
>> Alan: IT'S OATMEAL.
>> Dave: THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
ALAN.
SAR REMARKS RUPERT, RUPERT HAS
THE MONITOR RIGHT THERE AND WE
ARE GOING TO SHOW YOU A SHOT OF
THE PUDDLE ON 53rd STREET.
LET SARAH SEE WHAT THE PUDDLE
IS.
THAT'S THE PUDDLE IN FRONT OF
RUPERT'S.
IT'S USUALLY THERE EVERY DAY.
IT CHANGES AND IF YOU WOULD LIKE
I THINK WE HAVE 30 SECONDS TO
GUESS THE PUDDLE.
IF WOULD YOU LIKE, YOU CAN GO
OUTSIDE AND TAKE A LOOK AT IT IN
PERSON.
>> I WOULD ENJOY THAT.
>> Dave: SHE IS GOING TO GO
OUTSIDE AND LOOK AT THE PUDDLE
IN PERSON.
DID WE START THE CLOCK?
IS THERE A CLOCK ON THIS?
SHE'S TOUCHING IT.
DON'T TOUCH THE PUDDLE.
OH, MY GOD!
GOOD LORD.
SHE TOUCHED THE PUDDLE.
YOU CAN TELL SHE'S FROM
CALIFORNIA.
SHE MADE... SHE MADE THE ONE
CARDINAL MISTAKE OF NEW YORK
CITY LIFE.
SHE TOUCHED THE PUDDLE.
ALL RIGHT.
SAR REMARKS DO YOU THINK HAVE
YOU AN IDEA WHAT THE PUDDLE IS?
>> I HAVE AN IDEA OF ONE OF THE
COMPONENTS.
>> Dave: GO AHEAD.
>> I THINK WE ARE LOOKING AT
SOME KIND OF OATMEAL.
>> Dave: EXACTLY RIGHT.
TREMENDOUS.
( Applause )
CONGRATULATIONS.
NOW YOU'VE WON THE RICE COOKER.
RUPERT, DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING FOR
HER?
>> Rupert: UM.
( Laughter )
>> Dave: NICE GOING.
BUT THAT'S NOT ALL.
WHAT ELSE DO WE HAVE, GIRLS?
BRING IT IN.
THE RICE COOKER AND THE HELLO
DELI PLATTER.
>> I'M A HAPPY VEGETARIAN.
>> Dave: THERE WE GO.
RIGHT ON THE MONEY WITH THAT
OATMEAL.
>> Paul: SHE'S NOT EVEN FROM
THIS TOWN.
>> Dave: NO.
( Applause )
IT REMINDS ME... THE HAWAII 5-0
SHOW, AND THE GUY WOULD DIP INTO
SOMETHING, BOOK HIM, DANNO.
YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT
IN ANY EVENT.
>> Paul: I WOULD NEVER DO IT.
BUT MY NEW YEAR'S SO FAR IS
GOING VERY WELL.
( Laughter )
>> Dave: ETH ETHAN HAWKE IS ON E
PROGRAM.
MARIA MENOUNOS AND ALICIA KEYS.
NOW A LOT OF TIMES ON THIS SHOW,
YOU'LL HEAR ME COMMENT ABOUT
OPRAH, AND PEOPLE SAY WELL ARE
YOU FIXATED WITH OPRAH?
YOU SEEM TO HAVE SOME KIND OF
OBSESSION WITH OPRAH.
WHAT'S THE DEAL?
WHY CAN'T YOU LEAVE OPRAH ALONE.
I'LL TELL YOU TRUTHFULLY.
THE REASON I'M' FASCINATED WITH
OPRAH, ONE, SHE IS THE MOST
POWERFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD,
MAYBE THE MOST POWERFUL PERSON
IN THE WORLD.
NUMBER TWO, SHE IS A NATIONAL
TREASURE AND OTHER REASONS I
CAN'T THINK OF RIGHT NOW.
>> Paul: OKAY.
>> Dave: BUT YOU KNOW, AND VERY
SUCCESSFUL WITH HER TV SHOW AND
SO WE, YOU KNOW, THIS IS JUST A
LITTLE NICKEL AND DIME DOG AND
PONY THING WE GOT HERE.
WE TRY TO LEARN FROM OPRAH AND
WHAT OPRAH HAS DONE, AFTER HER
SHOW SHUTS OFF FOR THE DAY, WHAT
YOU FOLKS MAY NOT KNOW, OPRAH
DOESN'T LEAVE.
SHE IS STILL IN YOUR TELEVISION
BUT YOU CAN'T SEE HER.
SHE IS DOING WHAT THEY CALL THE
OPRAH AFTER SHOW.
>> Paul: OPRAH AFTER THE SHOW.
>> Dave: THEY LET THE CAMERAS
ROLL AND THE GUESTS CAN COME AND
GO,, AND THEY HAVE REFRESHMENTS
AND OWE EXTRA PUTS HER FEET UP
UNDER HER AND TAKES HER SHOES
OFF, NOT IN THAT ORDER AND THE
AUDIENCE CAN... SO PAUL HAS BEEN
AFTER ME FOR A LONG TIME, SAID
DAVE, WHY DON'T WE DO THIS.
>> Paul: EXACTLY.
>> Dave: WHY DON'T WE HAVE AN
AFTER.
( Applause )
>> Paul: THE AUDIENCE AGREES.
DAVE AFTER THE SHOW.
WHERE YOU WOULD JUST RELAX,
KICKBACK.
>> Dave: EXACTLY.
WHATEVER HAPPENS.
IT'S FREE FORM.
BY THE WAY, I HEARD SOMETHING
STUNNING THE OTHER DAY.
YOU KNOW THOSE GUYS THAT WON THE
PRIZE FOR GOING INTO OUTER SPACE
THE CIVILIANS, THE BIG SPACE
THING.
>> Paul: THEY SHOT A ROCKET.
>> Dave: AND IT WORKED AND THEY
GOT THE DOUGH.
NOW THEY'RE GOING TO BE GIVING
SPACE RIDES TO THE MOON.
CIVILIANS CAN SIGN UP.
GUESS WHO IS NUMBER ONE ON THE
LIST?
>> Paul: NOT OPRAH.
>> Dave: OPRAH.
>> Paul: SHE IS GOING TO GO INTO
SPACE WITH AMATEURS.
>> Dave: THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Paul: I WOULDN'T DO IT WITH
PROS.
THAT'S AMAZING.
>> Dave: SO WE'VE DONE THAT
TONIGHT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
HERE'S THE SECOND IN OUR
BRAND-NEW SERIES, "THE LATE
SHOW" AFTER THE SHOW.
TAKE A LOOK.
( Applause )
>> Dave: NAKED, MY MOTHER, YOU
COULD TELL SHE MANIPULATED THEM.
TO GET AT LEAST A B AVERAGE.
>> Dave: WHAT DO YOU MAKE NOW IN
YOUR ADULT LIFE?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
WHAT KIND DO YOU MAKE?
>> Dave: WELL, I'VE ONLY MADE
THE ONE FOR THIS YEAR AND THAT'S
TO USE IN CONVERSATION ON THE
SHOW, THE WORD SNARKY.
I'VE HAD GOOD LUCK WITH THAT
RESOLUTION.
>> ODDLY ENOUGH, SNARKY IS A
REAL PRIORITY ON MY LIST FOR
THIS YEAR AS WELL.
>> Dave: WHAT KIND OF FAMILY DO
YOU COME FROM?
A BIG FAMILY, SMALL FAMILY.
>> THE CLASSIC, I THINK, MODERN
AMERICAN FAMILY, WHICH IS KIND
OF SEVERAL MARRIAGES AND SPREAD
OUT ALL OVER THE COUNTRY.
BUT A
GANG...
>> WE'RE KEEPING TRACK... WE ARE
NOT KEEPING TRACK.
WE HAVE A GANGSTER IN OUR PRISON
ON NEW YEAR'S EVE AND SOME
PEOPLE COME TO TRY TO BREAK HIM
OUT ON NEW YEAR'S EVE.
>> Dave: YOU FIND OUT THE PEOPLE
TRYING TO BREAK HIM OUT ALSO
HAPPEN TO BE POLICE OFFICERS.
DID I JUST GIVE AWAY SOMETHING.
>> I WAS JUST THINKING THAT
THOUGHT.
>> Dave: I'M SORRY.
>> Paul: I WAS GOING TO GO SEE
IT.
NOW I DON'T HAVE TO SEE IT.
( Applause )
>> Dave: I'M TERRIBLY SORRY.
>> THERE ARE OTHER INTERESTING
ELEMENTS.
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
YOU CAN STILL GO SEE IT, JUST GO
20 MINUTES LATE.
NO PROBLEM.
>> Dave: AND BEFORE THE JOHN
CARPENTER FILM, WAS IT
DERIVATIVE OF...
>>.
>> DIDN'T YOU JUST SAY JANUARY
19?
>> Dave: THE CLIP.
>> THE PRISONERS AND THE COPS
HAVE TO FIGHT TOGETHER TO FIGHT
THE NEMESIS WHO WE DON'T KNOW
WHO THEY ARE BUT YOU JUST TOLD
THEM THAT THEY'RE COPS BUT
THAT'S OKAY.
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
( Applause )
>> Dave: I'LL TRY TO MAKE IT UP
TO YOU SOMEHOW.
"ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13" AND
THAT THING I SAID ABOUT THE
OTHER GUY BEING A COP MAY OR MAY
NOT BE TRUE.
>> NOW THAT I THINK BACK ABOUT
MAKING THE MOVIE, I DON'T THINK
THAT IS WHAT HAPPENED.
>> Dave: I'M THINKING OF ANOTHER
FILM I THINK ALL
HOW DO YOU DO?
>> I'M GREAT.
HOW ARE YOU.
>> Dave: I'M FINE.
A PLEASURE TO MEET.
>> YOU BY THE WAY, IT WAS MENUDO
NOT MENOUNOS.
>> Dave: HOW DUMB AM I.
I SCREWED UP THE FILM AND I GOT
THIS WRONG, TOO.E SAID WHAT IS H
YOU.
I SAID I BROKE MY TOE.
HE SAID THAT IS SO THE
CHARACTER.
THAT IS SO JULES.
>> Dave: WHAT DOES ONE TREE HILL
REFER YOU TO.
>> WHERE THEY'RE FROM.
>> Dave: THE NAME OF A TOWN?
>> YES.
>> Dave: WHAT GOES ON THERE?
( CACKLING NOISE )
( Laughter )
>> Dave: WELL I THINK SOMEONE IS
TAMPERING WITH YOUR CAR.
>> Paul: I BETTER GO.
>> WELL, SOME OF THE CHARACTERS
GO TO HIGH SCHOOL AND THE OTHER
CHARACTERS HAVE....
>> Dave: DO YOU GO TO HIGH
SCHOOL?
>> NO.
NO.
I'M AN ADULT.
>> Dave: I SEE.
( Laughter )
( Applause )
ALL RIGHT.
SO SOME OF THE PEOPLE...
>> I SWORE I WASN'T GOING TO
LAUGH, MARK SCHWANN SAID PLEASE
DO NOT LAUGH ON THE SHOW
TONIGHT.
>> Dave: IS IT A FUNNY SHOW.
>> IT'S A DRAMAED.
>> Dave: SO IT'S LIKE AN HOUR
LONG.
>> YES, AND IT'S ON THE WB AND
OUR NEW SEASON STARTS JANUARY
25.
>> Dave: AND EVERY WEEK WE GET
TO SEE WHAT GOES ON WITH THE
LIVES OF THE PEOPLE.
>> OF ONE TREE HILL.
IT'S THE NUMBER ONE SHOW FOR
FEMALES 18 TO 30 SOMETHING.
AND DID I MENTION THAT WE START
BACK UP AGAIN ON JANUARY 25?
( Laughter )
I GOT TO STOP.
>> Dave: WOW.
>> HI.
>> Dave: I WONDER IF YOU COULD
GET THAT FIXED.
( Laughter )
NO, NO.
BY THE WAY, IS MARY HART STILL
ON ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT.
>> YES, SHE IS.
YOU SHOULD TUNE IN SOMETIME.
>> Dave: SHE'S BEEN THERE
FOREVER.
I KIND OF GOT MY HANDS FULL
HERE.
GREAT PLEASURE MEETING YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
HAPPY NEW YEAR.
>> MY DAD LOVES YOU.
>>
>> Alan: IF YOU'D LIKE BLOW TO--
IF YOU'D LIKE DAVE TO BLOW THE
SURPRISE ENDING TO YOUR
HOLLYWOOD BLOCKBUSTER FILM, COME
ON DOWN TO "THE LATE SHOW."
WE HAVE PLENTY OF OPENINGS.
DON'T FORGET TO BRING A CLIP.
MAYBE DAVE CAN SCREW THAT UP,