( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) LAST NIGHT, THE PEOPLE OF

WISCONSIN REJECTED THE FRONTRUNNERS.

ON THE DEMOCRATIC SIDE, THE THE WINNER WAS-- AND JUST HOLD

ON, LET ME BRACE MIEDZ FOR YOUR REACTION.

BERNIE SANDERS.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) I'LL KEEP THOSE HANDY IN CASE

THERE'S A STORY ABOUT ONE DIRECTION REUNITING TO GIVE OUT

FREE POT.

AND LAST NIGHT, BERNIE FIRED UP THE CROWD WITH HIS VICTORY

SPEECH.

>> I THINK THE PEOPLE OF THIS COUNTRY ARE READY FOR A

POLITICAL REVOLUTION.

YES, WE CAN.

YES, WE CAN.

>> Stephen: YES WE CAN... STEAL SLOGANS FROM BARACK OBAMA.

( LAUGHTER ) UNLESS THAT ACTUALLY IS BARACK

OBAMA AND HE'S AGED EVEN MORE THAN I THOUGHT.

( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )

BUT THE BIG NEWS-- THE BIG NEWS LAST NIGHT WAS ON THE REPUBLICAN

SIDE.

TED CRUZ WON.

IT WAS A HUGE UPSET, BECAUSE EVEN IF YOU VOTED FOR TED CRUZ,

YOU'RE STILL PRETTY UPSET ABOUT IT.

OF COURSE, THE EVEN BIGGER NEWS DONALD TRUMP LOST.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ANALYSTS SAY HE LOST BECAUSE

OF...

THINGS HE'S SAID AND DONE.

( LAUGHTER ) ALSO-- AND THIS IS JUST AS

IMPORTANT-- THINGS HE HASN'T SAID.

MANY PEOPLE OUT THERE COMPLAIN THAT TRUMP TENDS TO TALK BIG BUT

NEVER COMES UP WITH SPECIFIC PROPOSALS.

WELL, ON MONDAY, TRUMP PUT THAT CRITICISM TO BED BY FINALLY

GIVING REPUBLICAN VOTERS CONCRETE EXAMPLES OF GOVERNMENT

AGENCIES HE WOULD ELIMINATE.

>> WOULD YOU ELIMINATE ANY DEPARTMENTS?

>> OH, ABSOLUTELY.

DEPARTMENT OF ENVIRONMENTAL.

I MEAN, THE DEP IS KILLING US ENVIRONMENTALLY.

IT'S JUST KILLING OUR BUSINESSES.

>> Stephen: YES, ABSOLUTELY.

TRUMP PROMISED TO KILL THE WASTEFUL DEPARTMENT OF

ENVIRONMENTAL, THE D.E.P.

EVEN THE ABBREVIATION IS WASTEFUL.

BECAUSE THAT "P" DOESN'T STAND FOR ANYTHING.

( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )

NOW, WE LOOKED IT UP, AND THE DEPARTMENT OF ENVIRONMENTAL DOES

NOT EXIST, MEANING TRUMP IS EITHER TALKING OUT OF HIS ASS,

OR HE'S ALREADY ELIMINATED IT.

THAT'S VERY IMPRESSIVE.

AND YOU KNOW IT'S JUST A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE TRUMP ELIMINATES

ALL THE OTHER WASTEFUL DEPARTMENTS WE DON'T NEED

BECAUSE THEY DON'T EXIST, BIG GOVERNMENT PROGRAMS LIKE THE

FEDERAL BUREAU OF MONEYING.

THE DEPARTMENT FOR THE FARMS.

THE BUREAU OF BIRDS AND FOXES.

THE ENVIRONMENTAL ERECTION AGENCY.

( LAUGHTER ) THE U.S. STEAK DEPARTMENT.

THE DEPARTMENT OF THE INFERIOR.

THE U.S. GHOST GUARD.

THE DEPARTMENT OF JUSTINS.

THE UNITED STATES MINT CHOCOLATE CHIP.

AND THE DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND HUMAN CENTIPEDES.