- "God of War: Remastered."

Oh, it's a game thing.

- "God of War." Oh [bleep]. These are some evil-looking things.

- You know, this doesn't look like a good day to have a picnic.

- (Finebros) This game is the third of the series

and loosely based on Greek mythology.

In this one, Zeus' son, the former god of war,

is continuing his mission to open Pandora's box

and end the reign of the Olympian gods.

- Does he know what's in Pandora's box?

- That's great 'cause it does teach a little bit of history

along with, you know, having the fun of playing the game.

- My grandchildren know a lot more about Greek and Roman mythology

than I do because of games like this.

- There's gonna be some blood, there's gonna be some carnage,

and there's gonna be some war.

Let the wars begin.

- I am just awful at games, so this oughta be terrific.

- (Zeus) My brothers, we were forged in victory,

a victory that ended the Great War

and brought forth the reign of Mount Olympus.

- Mount Olympus or the-- oh, that's beautiful.

- (Zeus) ...measure of strength and power.

(blood splatters) (startled gasp)

- (sternly) Hey. Hey now.

- (Zeus) The mortal, Kratos, seeks to destroy all that I have wrought.

- Hoo! Electric man.

- Oh wow.

- (Zeus) ...put aside the petty grievances-- - Check out those big guys.

- I think they're Titans.

- (Zeus) We will unite.

We will stand together-- - Wow, the graphics.

- Uh, I dunno. Is this a rock? - (Zeus) I will wipe out this plague

- Or is that a tree?

- (Zeus) Olympus will prevail!

♪ (dramatic music) ♪

- This must be the Mount Olympus gods.

- Uh, were-- were they the Village People?

- That must be Zeus. (Hades growls)

I have no idea who this guy is.

- (Kratos) Zeus! Your son has returned.

(flames rage) I bring destruction of Olympus!

- Yeah! He's gonna destroy Olympus!

- Oh! Whoa-- oh, oh, what's that?

- (Zeus) The Titans will fail again. - Oh.

♪ (dramatic music) ♪ (Cursed Remains snarl)

- Oh, where do I go?

- Now I'm playing, huh?

- So I need to move? (Cursed Remains snarl)

- What am I doing? I'm trying to attack people?

- Jump, try that. Ah-ha! Ha ha! Oh-ho!

I'll get away.

(slashing sword) - Yeah, yeah. Don't mess with me.

- (anxiously) Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

(Kratos grunts) - I'm doing pretty good, huh?

- (reproachfully) Oh, this is bad. Look at all that.

Who's gonna clean up all these bodies?

- Aah!

- For Heaven's s-- It's amazing.

I should just be totally bleeding out right now.

(loud thud) - We gotta-- oh! Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho.

Okay. Ha ha ha ha ha! I got it.

- All right, I'm taking them down. Yeah!

Come on, mess with the best, you die like the rest.

- (anxiously) Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

(Kratos grunts viciously) Ooh, that's fun! That's fun.

- I don't know. These people are losing a lot of blood.

Do they have a triage unit anywhere?

(Kratos grunts) - Where did everybody go?

- (Finebros) You killed them.

- (chuckling) Good.

- (Pandora) Free me!

♪ (choir sings) ♪ - Uh-oh.

(rocks crumble)

- Oh, she blew out the fire. That's cool.

(flames whoosh)

- Okay, press-- oh, I've got more

of these guys to fight off. Damn.

- "Press R2 to use magic." (Kratos grunts)

- (squeals) That was so cool!

(Kratos grunts) ♪ (dramatic music) ♪

- Boy, that got him. Ha ha!

- I have to move the tree? Okay, so... will that work?

No? What moves the tree?

- Use R? Where's R? I don't know where R is.

- Ah, this top here?

- (whispering) Oh god. Okay, go--

(Kratos grunts) Okay, hit Circle.

(Kratos grunts)

(grunts along)

- He's gonna get a hernia, you know? (chuckles)

- Pick it up! (laughs)

- Get it up! You can do it! Come on!

WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT! Shove it!

- There we go, there we go. I've got it. All right.

(button mashing) (Kratos grunts)

(sigh of relief)

♪ (dramatic music) ♪ - Now what do I do?

- All right, now we gotta go that way.

- All right, there's only three of you?

(rocks crumble) Foolish.

Oh! There's a big boy.

(rocks crumble) - (anxiously) Oh! Whoa, oh!

- Ooh! Ooh! Ugly people.

- Aah! Where did that guy come from?

(ground rumbles) What is this?

- He don't look like he's on my side.

- A dragon thing or a-- no, is that a horse?

- Now what do I do?

- Oh, I gotta fight it?

(slashing sword) - I can smell your bad breath!

Here, eat that!

- I'm gonna drown. (chuckles)

- Okay, get real close and then get him.

(Leviathan groans) Closer.

- Aaaah! Oh, good, I hurt him.

- What? Uh-oh.

(Leviathan shrieks) Okay.

Yeah, he's hanging on a rock-- a cliff-- upside down.

- Now they're all upside down. I don't know how that happened.

- I could still hang upside down and hit these people.

I'm something.

- Yeah! Yeah! Ah, that's it.

Kick his butt! (laughs raucously) Aah, watch out!

- It's hard to see. Where am I?

(battle cries) - Oh, I'm on his arm. On his wrist.

(gasps) God!

- He's bigger than me. It's no fair.

- He's just hanging on and he's kinda, like, swinging in it.

I keep pushing this button but it doesn't seem to have the same effect.

- If I could just get him in the teeth.

(Kratos grunts) Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

I got blood. Aah, you go for it.

Here, try that. Ah-ha-ha-ha!

(laughing) This is amazing!

- Come on, let's go get him. Let's go get him. Come on.

(Leviathan roars) He's gotta be going down sooner or later.

(rushing water)

- Okay, I got a shower.

- Now try this guy. Try that. Try to take some of that.

- What if he can get out of the way?

Yeah, yeah, the other way there. Okay, now!

(rushing water)

Boy, he's got one big bad breath.

I think, uh-- "You are dead."

X. Okay, okay. Let's go.

Let's get in close this time.

He's tough to get close to.

(Leviathan shrieks) Ah-ha!

- (Finebros) Now press Circle. - Press who?

- (Finebros) Circle. Circle.

(Kratos grunts) Ah-ha!

- Uh... (Kratos grunts)

- Okay, Circle. (Kratos grunts)

- Where?

(slashing sword) (Leviathans shrieks)

(Kratos grunts) (Leviathan shrieks)

- (Finebros) Oh, you missed the Square.

- Oh! Goddamn-- that was really exciting.

(Kratos grunts) (Leviathan shrieks)

- Oh man. Come on.

Aah, aah. Uh-oh.

(takes deep breath) That was hard.

- Now I hit Square.

Oh, I see. So when you see it, you hit it.

Okay, good.

- Oh! Oh! Oh! Release the Kraken!

- Oh, I see. Yeah, you just keep hitting that one.

(Kratos grunts)

- He's gonna pull his teeth. That should hurt.

- He ripped out-- oh, I ripped that bottom jaw.

Okay, that's what I'm talking about.

- Yeah! Ooh, he's bleedin'.

Ha! Ha! I like your blood.

I'll eat your blood!

- Oh, okay. Oh, there you go.

(Kratos grunts) (sword slices)

(sigh of relief)

- Mount Olympus. Oh, I'm tired.

(exhales)

- (grumbles) Yeah, I need rest, babe. I need a break.

- How come he won't go up?

He's just fartin' around here. (laughing)

Up, up, up.

- Let's see if I can get up here.

There we go. Now we're movin'.

(Kratos grunts) ♪ (dramatic music) ♪

- Now up again? (Kratos grunts)

(gasps) Oh! Oh, that's so cool.

- There we go. Finally got there.

Oh, what's this cool thing?

- "Press and hold R1 to open chest."

Oh, I gotta open that darn chest, huh?

- R1. R1. Open chest.

Open. Open chest. Open Sesame.

- R1.

(Kratos grunts) Uh-oh.

- Ooh.

- "Green is for heath, blue is for magic, and red is for experience."

- Wait, do I go around this edge here?

"Traverse along the ledge." Okay.

- Traversing-- okay, this is good.

Oh! Hey, it's really helpful when--

Uh-oh! Big boy's coming. Let's keep traversing.

- (anxiously) Oh! Oh! - (Pandora) Kratos!

- No, it's not that guy back again, is it?

- Every time when it vibrates this creature comes up.

- Uh-oh! I'm on a ledge. How could you be so inconsiderate?

- There's three more of these-- four, five... looks like six

of these skeleton dudes.

- Get ready to die! (Kratos grunts)

- (straining) Aah. (button mashes)

(Kratos grunts) Did I get them all?

Oops-- oh, he got a wing. There you go.

- Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, kill him. Kill him.

- Up, up. Not somersaulting.

You wanna go up.

Oh-ho! Okay.

- Keep climbing. You gotta go up. Mount Olympus is at the top.

Oh, uh-oh, I think I'm almost there.

(Kratos grunts) - Up, go up.

- Top of the world and you meet Mr. Big Ugly again!

- Oh! Another horsey-spider.

- Ah-- oh, this is killing me! Oh! Uh-oh.

Help me. Oh no.

- "Hold after jumping to glide." (Leviathan growls)

Hold X.

Aaaand glide, baby, glide!

Glide, oh no!

♪ (dramatic music) ♪

- Aah!

- Why are these wings jumping out, showing that you have the possibility

of being airborne, and then he doesn't go anywhere?

- I want to go that way and go one, two!

Okay, I did it. Come on! Come on.

There you go.

- Yeah, okay-- good, good, good.

- Oh! (humming to music)

There we go.

- Okay, now I'm going in the temple... or whatever this is.

- (hushed) Circle.

Oh, oh, oh.

I went the wrong way though right here.

Walk. Easy-- no, no. Just walk.

Easy... you gotta have all your marbles together

and mine are just all mushed up right now.

(laughing)

(button mashing)

- It's, like, giving strength.

- Oops, why is it shiny? Oh, that's ice?

Okay, I'll slip and fall and break my hip.

- Uh-oh, here comes-- uh-oh.

I've got company, a centaur.

- Turn around. (centaur growls)

(hoofbeats) - Is he on my side? No, he's not.

He's trying to kill me. (Kratos grunts)

- Oh no, he just shish kabobed me.

(Kratos grunts) - Ooh, he's really got me, man.

I've been doing really well up to this point.