-Few people chipped in a tenner.

-Shouldn't you be at school?

-Sick.

-Hundred and ten, hundred and twenty, thirty.

-Nice one! Like the menu?

-Well I dunno what half of it is to be honest!

-Pop by later, you can try some, alright?

-Morning Christian, sorry I'm late. Has Syed introduced himself as yet?

-He's not been in babe.

-Oh, that's unlike him. Maybe he overslept.

-Well I just saw an Indian fella talking to Janine in the Caf.

-Indian? -Oh, whatever.

-Jay Brown, you just made my day!

-Why's that man giving me daggers?

-Ian? He's always had a crush on me.

-That's Ian Beale?

-Mmhm.

-Ian. Syed Masood, Mum's told me all about you.

-I wish I could say the same.

-Do we have a problem?

-No. My problem's with your mum. Sticking members of her family on the payroll without consulting me.

-I'm sure there's enough washing up for both of us.

-Washing up?! I'm joint owner! Or did she forget to mention that little fact?

-What do you think you're doing?

-Eating breakfast.

-Breakfast? It's nearly lunchtime! You were meant to start at nine.

-That might be my fault.

-Yeah, I can believe that.

-Do you realise that I had to put my foot down for you to get this job? Your father's going to be there in fifteen minutes.

-Do you want to make me look like a fool? Come on.

-Come on!

-Look, I know you didn't want me working here.

-Yeah, but your mother did, and she's the boss.

-You never know, I might be useful.

-Just stick to washing up, and everything'll be fine.

-So this is how it's gonna be, is it?

-Pretty much, yeah.

-Here, let me!

-Thanks.

-I'm Syed. -Christian

-Muslim!

-Nice to meet you.

-Manly shake you got there!

-Why wouldn't it be?

-No reason.

-What, gay man, limp wrist, that it?

-No, that's not what -

-Oh, what's the point?

-Well it's a bit bland.

-Bland? Bland? Your taste buds must be defective.

-Oi! I've paid my money. So I've got a right to tell you what I think about your spring rolls.

-Spring rolls? -He's right mum. He's the customer.

-He's a child! What does he know?

-Oh, well forget the whole thing and I'll have me dough back then.

-Fine!

-I'll go elsewhere. -Good!

-Will everyone just calm down?

-Look, we know tonight's important to you, and you want everything to be just right, and that includes the food.

-And it's important to us that you're happy. So what can we do to improve it?

-Add some sipping sauce maybe. You know, jazz it up a little bit?

-Dipping sauce? What kind of dipping sauce?

-Barbecue maybe?

-Barbecue?

-We can do that. I'm sure that we could come up with an authentic dipping sauce to complement your food, couldn't we?

-Course we could. Syed, get in the kitchen, there's work to be done.

-Can you just give him those, tell him I'm sorry? -Yeah, yeah. Hope you feel better soon, yeah?

-Masala Queen, food of the Gods! And Godesses.

-Ooh, looks tasty. -It is, you wanna try?

-Wouldn't mind.

-Oi! -What, come on, just being friendly! Where's he been all this time, locked up in charm school?

-They only let me out for special occasions!

-Thank you.

-You're welcome.

-Try one, your majesty?

-Marvelous!

-We call it taste of the tandoor.

-Very nice

-They seemed to like the food, don't you think?

-Yeah. Went down well. I -

-No, go on.

-No, I was just gonna say, credit where credit's due. I thought Syed played his part.

-You think that I don't know what he is? I do.

-For good or for bad Mas, I don't wanna fight anymore.

-Neither do I.

-Look, I'm glad you found him. Alright, I'm gonna try my best to move on. But you have to let me go at my own speed.

-Yep.

-I've got my eye on him. One step out of line and - -Understood. Understood.

-Er, Syed? Perhaps you could help finish clearing up?

-Of course.

-I hope you're not mistaking my son's naturally flirtatious nature for something else?

-I'll try not to.

-Cause I know my son and he's not interested.

-No, not at the moment, he told me so himself.

-Exactly.

-He's only got room for one special lady in his life.

Tell me, have you met his girlfriend yet?

Oh, you didn't know? Silly me.