字幕表 動画を再生する 英語字幕をプリント [upbeat music] - It's a pleasure having two of my father's closest friends pay a visit to my fine establishment. Clovis, Virginia, thank you for coming. - You're aware of our non-profit organization? - The Brazilian Porcupine Foundation. - So you're aware of our animal rights work? - Well, I try to stay up-to-date on all the porcupine-related news. - We'd like to offer you a position on the board. - It's an in to Sacramento high society. - [chuckles] - Wow. - Oh, we'll take that as a yes. Welcome to the upper echelon. The air is so much better up here. - Ah. - [inhales, exhales] [laughter] [upbeat music] - [man singing] This is America Land of dreams Everyone can climb higher - [women singing] No you know you're stuck here 'Cause you're a part-timer yeah - [man singing] You can do anything - [woman singing] As long as it's not hard - [man singing] And you can go anywhere - [woman singing] As soon as you get a car - [man singing] You're gonna be a huge success - [woman singing] Come on that's not who you are - [man singing] You're a part-timer cursed With full-time dreams And this low-paying job is as bad as it seems Bad as it seems What the [bleep] are you doing here? Whoa What the [bleep] are you doing here? Oh Seriously, dude? - Like, what the [bleep]? - So they asked you to a party? Fun. - Not a party, Ella. A gala. And I have to raise at least $10,000 to help save the Brazilian porcupine. And I only know, like, three of my dad's friends' numbers. - Well, if there's one thing I'm good at, it's throwing parties. I tell you what. You let me take care of the invitees, and in exchange, I won't have to pay rent anymore. - You already don't pay rent. - No, I mean you pay for the next place that I rent. - No. - Deal. - Are you sure you've got this covered? - Yes, I'm positive. - I just want tonight to be amazing. - It will. Our guest list is full. - Yeah, but what if none of them show up? - Then your miniature ponies won't get their yachts, or whatever, all right? Relax. It's fine. Okay? - Pete, have you seen my purse? I've looked for it everywhere. - The black leather one with the big rose and the pewter handle? - Yeah... Do you have it? - Uh, no. Haven't seen it. - [sighs] - Hello. Thank you very much. Enjoy. - Hello. - Thank you, sir. Wowie. Oh, okay. Thank you. Wow. Uh, you know, technically, there is a dress code. Um...but for a $500 donation, you can wear anything you want. - Cool. We're all gonna be naked soon, anyway, right? - Yeah. [chuckles] Uh, wait. Uh, what? - Well, a Brazilian porcupine is a pretty complicated sex move. I don't think clothes are gonna help. Unless you guys do it differently. You guys do it differently? - You're here for the Brazilian porcupine, right? - Yeah, I'm here to do a Brazilian porcupine. Got my wax and my tarp in here. The old trusty tarp. See ya. [classical music playing] - Excuse me? Who all here got their invitation from the Craigslist post? [all giggling and murmuring] - That's where I get all my stuff. [classical music continues] - Here you go. [classical music playing] - Mm. - Are you okay? - [gulps] No. I accidentally started an internet sex party. On any other night, I'd be super impressed with myself. But Anton's gonna kill me. - Ella, one of those creepers probably stole my purse. - I know, okay? I'm sorry. - Mads, I swear to you, I will get your favorite purse back. - How did you know it was my favorite? - Oh, because you bring it to work every day. Except for Thursdays, 'cause that's when you go to the gym. [chattering] - This is the nicest Brazilian porcupine I've ever seen. - You can't be serious. - Well, I'm fairly new to the scene. Why, do they get fancier? - My dear, this is the bottom of the barrel. - Nuh-uh. Barrelers meet on Wednesdays. [microphone feedback] - Hello? They asked me to introduce Anton, a true porcupine advocate. Or, as he likes to call it, prick of the year. [laughter] So, for a man who needs no introduction but got one anyway... Anton. [one person claps, stops] - First I'd like to thank-- - When's the [bleep] party? - Yeah! [crowd chattering] - The [bleep] party. - Oh! Oh, my. - She gets it. [crowd chattering] - It's a what? - Some kind of forbidden sex move, okay? There was a mix-up on the invitation. - Ella, this was your one responsibility. - I know. I was gonna kick them out, but they all paid. You made more than $10,000 tonight. - [laughs softly] Okay, just keep them away from my guests, please? - Okay. Okay, yeah. I can do that. I can do that. [crowd chattering] [clears throat] [crowd silences] For anyone who's been asking for the grease, I'll be serving it up in the kitchen. [all cheering] - It's on! [all continue cheering] - Anton, you really must serve better hors d'oeuvres. [techno music playing] - No, you shouldn't go in there. - But they stole my purse. [techno music playing] I really shouldn't have gone in there. - Mads, I made a commitment, and I swear to you that if your purse is in that kitchen, I'll get it back. And then, I'll kick the ass of whoever took it. - [groans] [music and cheering] - Aah! Oh, no! [crying] No! - Pete! - No! - Come back to me, Pete! - No! - Okay. - Thanks. - This is really good, isn't it? - Well, maybe we should try the grease in the kitchen. Why not? I'm up for anything new. - Look, ladies, no. Uh... You'll--you'll miss the dance party. Hey, buddy, uh, can we get some dance music up here?