スクール・オブ・ライフ - ライアン・レイノルズ主演のフルムービー (School of Life - Full Movie starring Ryan Reynolds)

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(male announcer) At Fallbrook Middle School...
[together] Mr. Stormin' Norman Warner!
(announcer) Norman Warner was a legendary teacher.
[people gasping]
Somebody get a doctor.
(Dylan) No teacher will ever compare to Gramps.
Hey, well, you know, I'll be there.
(Dylan) You're a biology teacher.
You're not...
Stormin' Norman?
(announcer) Filling the big man's shoes...
(girl) What a geek.
Oh, that's the stuff.
(announcer) Would take a very special person.
How you doing?
My name is Michael D'Angelo.
I was once a student here.
(announcer) Ryan Reynolds is Mr. D.
He's the new guy on the block.
(announcer) In his class...
Everybody up, please.
(announcer) Every day...
(Mr. D) Jurassic period.
(announcer) Is an adventure.
I just think the guy's a showboat.
Emancipation!
(announcer) Every student...
Do you think I need mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?
(announcer) A hero.
And every lesson...
How much time do we have?
(boys) Not a lot.
(announcer) An inspiration.
Time!
Mr. D is a genius.
(announcer) His name is on everyone's lips.
Mr. D.
What did you say?
(announcer) Now the Warner legacy is at risk.
A Warner has won Teacher of the Year
for 43 years.
(Bass) I want you to decide
whether you want to be an educator.
I'm taking you out.
What do you mean?
Mr. D.
[all cheering]
Mr. D for Teacher of the Year!
Michael, you do something to me.
He's so shy.
I think I'm attracted to that.
Oh!
(announcer) But the real lessons would take place...
(Matt) He's not going to let any sickness get in his way.
(announcer) At the greatest school of all.
Education is truly a hero's journey.
Let me take this journey with you.
[applause]
Do one thing every day that scares you.
(Matt) You don't just teach the students;
you teach the teachers too.
Yeah!
[cheering]
[light instrumental music]
♪ ♪
(Untyde) ♪ Whatever makes you shine. ♪
♪ There's a star in your eyes, ♪
♪ but it's started to fade out lately. ♪
♪ All the things that you've done ♪
♪ don't seem to make much difference, ♪
♪ don't seem to make you happy anymore. ♪
♪ Always searching, always wanting more. ♪
♪ Why don't you take it? ♪
♪ Why don't you make it? ♪
♪ Don't stand there looking for excuses, ♪
♪ 'cause you won't get them. ♪
♪ No, you won't get them from me. ♪
♪ ♪
(Dylan) This is Fallbrook Middle School.
My name is Dylan, and I'm a student here.
My grandfather teaches here.
My father teaches here.
Talk about pressure.
Next year at my graduation,
they'll expect me to be valedictorian
and give one of those inspirational speeches,
like the one Susie Jessop did that day.
Anguish, torment, ridicule.
For some of us, these have been our companions.
Their faces have reared their ugly heads
in forms of lab partners, teammates, and carpools
shared reluctantly.
So now we are moving on
where it will be an equally treacherous road
with nothing to look forward to except for the inevitable:
alienation from the cool people, who, if there is any justice
in this cruel world,
will be waiting on us someday in our local restaurants,
assuming we have enough money to pay for our meals
after spending
our hard-earned wages on therapy.
So with this,
let us step forth into high school.
Good luck.
(Dylan) That's my grandfather and my dad.
[applause]
What seemed like the norm turned out to be a day
that would change our lives forever.
That was a little bit of sunshine.
[laughter and applause]
You're welcome.
This is very inappropriate.
Matty, will you just relax?
I think we ought to take a moment
to feel inspired by the words
from our valedictorian, Susie Jessop.
(Dylan) Madman and Howard, the self-appointed school MCs,
were asked to take over.
You'd have thought they were opening in Vegas.
We are here to present
the student-elected Teacher of the Year award.
(Howard) This year's award comes
as no surprise to any of us.
I mean, he's been at the school since...
The Lincoln presidency.
[laughter]
And who can forget
all those legendary stories, like when he was caught
in the custodial quarters with that phys. ed. instructor?
What was her name?
Margaret McGillicuddy!
That was very inappropriate.
She was a babe.
He's a man
who's taught me how to get the most
out of the 7th grade,
even if it takes me a couple of years.
[laughter]
Ladies and gentlemen,
it is our adolescent honor to present...
For the 43rd consecutive year...
The student-elected Teacher of the Year award...
[together] To Mr. Stormin' Norman Warner!
Give it up!
[applause]
Thank you.
Well, after so many years,
I don't know what to say anymore,
mainly because, at my age,
I have forgotten most of the English language.
[laughter]
There is one thing that even old age can't take away,
and that is the gift of teaching,
the miracles that we see every day
in the eyes of those who open their minds
to the world of knowledge.
Miracles can happen if you let them.
[applause]
Take your--
[people gasping]
Dad, Dad.
Hey, get back.
Let him breathe. Let him breathe.
Dad? Dad!
[whispers] It's okay, Matty.
Somebody get a doctor.
Get a doctor!
(Bass) Call 911!
Hurry!
It's okay, Dad. I'm here.
I'm here, Dad.
I'm here.
It takes less than death
to kill a man.
What, Dad?
Calm down.
Where--where's my trophy?
Somebody get the trophy.
It's here.
You'll be okay.
Here it is.
Here's your trophy.
Matty?
Don't die on me.
What?
Don't die on me.
I don't understand.
Take--take your shot.
What shot, Dad?
Dad, what shot?
Dad!
Dad.
Dad.
Daddy.
(Dylan) I still wonder
what it would have been like to be there that day.
Dad says Mom and I were spared a bitter memory.
The worst part of not being there
is the feeling that you could have helped in some way,
maybe even changed the outcome.
I'll always remember what Gramps used to say:
"Life is tiny, so don't ever miss the opportunity
to spread your wings, to soar."
But at times like this, I wonder if Maggie Little said it best.
Life sucks, and then you die.
Thank you. That really helps.
You okay, honey?
I'm okay, Ellie.
Hey, where's Dylan?
I learned a lot from you, Gramps.
I'll miss you.
I made a decision that day.
No matter how old I got, I'd stop by and see him,
bring him flowers
or those chocolate-covered coffee beans he loved
so he'd know I remembered how important he was to me.
Hi.
Hi.
Just like this guy was doing for someone he cared about.
It didn't take me long to realize
that when it came to paying tribute to Gramps,
I'd better be prepared to stand in line.
[door squeaks]
Hey.
You're still awake.
Couldn't sleep.
You okay?
Next year, I was supposed to be in Gramps' class.
I know you were, and I'm sorry.
I was looking forward to that too.
Yeah.
No teacher will ever compare to Gramps.
Hey, well, you know, I'll be there.
I mean, if you need me.
Yeah, but you're a biology teacher.
So?
It's just different.
Why?
Well, you're not...
Stormin' Norman?
Let me tell you something, kiddo.
A Warner has won Teacher of the Year at Fallbrook
for 43 years.
Yeah, but that was Gramps.
Well, here's a little secret.
Number 44 is gonna be a Warner too.
You just watch and see.
Dad, that's not important.
You bet it's important.
Now get some sleep, okay, kiddo?
(Ellie) Matty, come to bed.
I'm already in the room.
You just can't see me; I'm in a shadow.
[bell rings]
(Dylan) I'm convinced my parents didn't even know
we got the paper.
Hey, Mom, are we religious?
Why?
I think I just heard Dad praying.
All right, this is my year.
I am relaxed, and my eyes are open.
Where's my lunch?
[clears throat]
Oh. I saw it. Just testing.
You're going to be great, honey.
Thanks.
Hey, 8th grade, kiddo.
You all set?
Uh-huh.
Bye.
Bye, honey.
Okay, ready for a new school year.
You got everything?
Uh-huh.
Me too. Come on.
Honey?
You might need this.
Love you.
Hey, honey.
Relax.
(boy) Wow, look at everybody.
(girl) Laura, wow, I haven't seen you all year.
Morning, everyone.
Good morning, kids.
Good morning.
(Dylan) Probably one of the most amazing things
I learned from my dad was how to make myself invisible.
It's a great day, huh?
Just keep walking. Just ignore him.
(Matt) It's going to be a great year.
(Dylan) See? I'm gone, vanished.
Hey, what are you doing?
Uh, nothing.
Just stretching out.
Okay.
Okay, kiddo.
Let's see who goes first.
Call it.
(Dylan) The coin toss was my idea.
Tails.
You know, how you don't want
to be seen hanging with your dad.
Good luck, Dad.
Hey, who needs luck?
This is my year.
(Dylan) Especially if he's a teacher...
at your school.
[rock music]
(The YoYos) ♪ Whoa. ♪
♪ Welcome to the time of your life. ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah. ♪
♪ Welcome to the time of your life. ♪
♪ Whoa. ♪
♪ Welcome to the time... ♪
(Dylan) The first day of the new school year
is always a little awkward.
People you know, people you don't know,
and the ones you only dream about.
Chase Witherspoon.
I was way too shy to even look at her.
But, hey, if it was my dad's lucky day,
why not mine too, right?
Hi, Chase.
Hi.
Wrong.
Guys.
What a geek.
(Dylan) The one chance I had, and I had blown it big-time.
thud!
Hi.
Hi.
How you doing?
I've been better.
Let me tell you something.
In order to impress a woman,
when you fall...
Mm-hmm?
It's got to make a louder thunk, you know?
Like this.
[groans]
Oh, that's the stuff.
You got it?
That really works, huh?
Hey, with women, there are no guarantees.
But I can tell you this: it's worked for me.
And I've fallen for a lot of women.
Hey, I know you.
You're--
History.
Well, I see many familiar faces out there.
And for those of you I already know, hello.
And for all you new students,
well, how about a nice big Fallbrook welcome?
[cheers and applause]
I'm Principal Bass.
And I look forward to getting reacquainted with you.
Hopefully, these acquaintances will take place
in the hallways and at breaks and not down at my office,
if you understand what I'm saying.
[laughter]
Now, it's my privilege to introduce you
to a fine group of educators, your department heads.
If you could just stand when I call your name, please.
Um, mathematics, Maggie Little.
Welcome back, Maggie.
[applause]
Miserable little bastards.
(Bass) For English,
Don Parks.
Don?
[applause]
(kids) Boring!
(Bass) For physical education,
Vern Cote.
Hi, Coach.
[cheers and applause]
(boy) Go, Coach!
For art, Ms. Denise Davies.
Good morning, Ms. Davies.
[cheers and applause]
All right, fellas. Come on.
For science, the son
of our late, great Stormin' Norman Warner...
[cheers and applause]
Matt Warner.
Matt?
[Bass applauding]
[clears throat]
It's not an easy job to replace an icon.
So we are fortunate
to have an alumni of Fallbrook.
For history, would you please make him feel welcome
in his first year...
Mr. Michael D'Angelo.
[applause]
Sir, can I say a few words?
Sure, of course.
Mr. D'Angelo would like to offer
some introductory remarks.
That's the guy I was telling you about.
C-c-cool.
I think it's important that you all know
I'm only here until a good fast-food job opens up.
You know what I'm saying?
[laughter]
My name is Michael D'Angelo.
And as Principal Bass mentioned, I was once a student here.
And if any of you managed to flunk, oh, say,
15 grades, you may remember me.
I was the shy, underdeveloped girl with braces.
[laughter]
That's very inappropriate.
(Mr. D) You know,
education is truly a hero's journey.
And it seems to me that going to school
is a lot like a Star Wars movie.
You're all Luke Skywalkers.
Or Lucy Skywalkers,
whichever applies.
And school is just one of the many places
that you're going to receive your Jedi training.
'Cause we need to get ready to go do battle
against the evil empire.
[laughter]
Now, the evil empire is not our school, our parents,
or even the questionable meat products in the cafeteria.
No.
You see, the evil empire is a belief.
It's believing
that we have limitations.
You don't.
Whether you realize it or not,
every single one of you is perfect.
Norman Warner was my Jedi master.
And the greatest lesson that he taught me
was that I was my own teacher,
I was my own master.
And the lesson that I hope to teach all of you
is to not worry
about what you're doing, 'cause it doesn't matter.
Worry about who you're being.
You do that, and there is absolutely nothing stopping you
from going out in this world and kicking some serious ass.
[laughter]
He said "ass."
Oh, relax, Warner.
This is your light saber.
Put it to a simple piece of paper,
add heart and a little courage,
and together we can make this world a better place.
Let me take this journey with you.
Thank you.
[cheers and applause]
Mr. D! Mr. D!
[kids chanting]
(Dylan) Uh-oh, there it was,
the dreaded shadow falling over my dad.
Mr. D, yes!
Mr. D! Mr. D!
(Dylan) Those of us in Mr. D's class felt blessed,
the envy of all others.
(girl) Where do we sit?
(Dylan) After all, if he could turn a dull assembly
into a rock-the-house rally,
just think what he might do with history class.
This guy was nothing like the other teachers.
Hey, S-S-Seth.
Aren't you g-g-gonna get
your m-mail?
Back off, Brad.
(Dylan) Or was he?
What if he turned out to be one of those dark side Jedis?
He had singled out my good buddy Seth
to do the one thing he feared most.
I-I-I'm supposed to read aloud?
[laughter]
It says
there is no
s-s-seating chart.
(Dylan) Whew, that was close.
You see, a seating chart is the first thing
that separates the cool teachers from the, well,
you know.
Everyone, please note the seating chart
on the blackboard.
(boy) Where are the shackles?
People, the seating chart exists
so that I can learn your names faster
and open the lines of communication between us.
Um, Mr. Warner?
Can I have a seat at the front?
Of course you can.
Hey, can I have a seat at the back?
Of course you can't.
(Mr. D) Good morning, class.
Well, I'm glad to see everyone so happy
with where they're sitting.
Thank you, Seth.
That wasn't so hard, was it?
But don't get too comfortable yet.
Okay.
Can someone tell me the origin of this word?
Chase.
(girl) Mr. D?
How do you know her name already?
(boy) Yeah, you're not already picking favorites, are you?
Okay.
People, I have one very simple rule in this class.
You do my homework, and I'll do yours.
[laughter]
Scratch that.
I'll do your homework, and you do mine.
No, that's not it.
Can someone tell me what I'm trying to say?
Dylan.
We do our homework, and you do yours?
Yes, that's it!
Thank you very much.
You do your homework, and you do mine.
[laughter]
You guys ready to have some fun?
[clears throat]
What is life science?
Well, I'll tell you.
Life science is the greatest mystery in the universe.
Now, who can tell me why that is?
Uh...Devon.
Because in the vastness of the universe,
the only evidence
of any real life is here on planet Earth.
Very good.
Uh...
Patty.
But what about Mars?
I heard they found some Martians.
Well, Patty, what they actually found
was a meteorite
that they believe broke off from Mars
millions of years ago.
And they think that it might contain
fossilized microorganisms.
But, now, whether or not that is proof of life
is still a mystery.
Yes, uh...
Clyde.
One of the greatest mysteries I know
has been unsolved for ages.
Not one man has come even close to solving this one.
Well, this sounds very interesting, Clyde.
So what is it?
What is this mystery?
Why we have to take this boring class.
[laughter]
[sighs]
Chase?
You were about to tell me
about the origin of the word "history."
It means "his story,"
stories where how people used to tell their kids
about what happened in the past.
Nice moves.
Ssss!
You're on fire.
Okay.
But what's wrong with that word?
Brad?
I don't know.
Yes, you do.
Okay, let me help you out.
Heather?
What did you do this summer?
Huh?
Anything; you can make it up if you want.
Um, well, Kylie, Chase, and me
took my dad's car and drove to Las Vegas.
There you go.
I'm going to have to report you
to the proper authorities, but good nonetheless.
Now, Seth.
What's wrong with Chase's explanation
of the word "history"?
Um, g-girls have stories too?
Oh, yeah.
Now,
how would you redefine what we're going to study here?
Um...
H-h-his
and h-h-her story.
Do you actually have a stutter, Brad,
or is it just a mouthful for you?
[laughter]
You're different and special in your own way.
Live it. Own it.
Okay, guys, what we're going to do
is combine the two words,
his- and herstory.
Now,
as Chase mentioned before,
the way in which his- and herstory was recorded
before we started writing it down
was simply by telling it.
People would gather round,
and a storyteller would entertain
and educate.
Since I know you all
to be true his- and herstorians,
let's do just that.
Everybody up, please. Let's go.
Everybody's desk in a circle.
It'll be like PE and history all in one.
There you go.
I apologize for the interruption.
Now, where were we?
[rock music]
(Dylan) Mr. D had disappeared into his closet,
leaving us sitting in a circle
and me sitting right next to Chase Witherspoon.
(Mr. D.) I believe
it was Moses, yes, Moses that said,
as he looked out onto the Red Sea,
"Part. I've got to get to an NRA meeting."
[laughter]
All right.
[sighs]
That's nice.
How much time do we have?
The answer to that question,
my friends, is not on that clock.
How much time do we have?
Not a lot.
That's how much time we have: not a lot.
(Dylan) This guy was cool.
And when he looked at you, well, you felt cool too.
Now that we know the answer to this question,
I would like you all to understand
that from this moment forward, each and every minute,
every second is precious
for each and every one of you.
But most importantly,
if Principal Bass comes in here
looking for a brown leather antique high-backed chair,
I was never here.
[laughter]
(Dylan) They could have served squid eyes for lunch,
and no one would have noticed.
The only thing on everybody's mind was Mr. D.
(girl) ...so much fun.
(girl) No way, you got Mr. D?
[sighs]
Miserable little bastards.
And a good morning to you too, Maggie.
Piss off, Parks.
Hey, everyone!
Hello, fellow educators.
Hey, I got some learners out there.
Really good first morning.
(Little) Is it my imagination,
or are these kids reaching puberty sooner
than they used to?
(Parks) It's television, Maggie.
Pretty soon, 3rd graders will be getting boob jobs.
As far as language skills,
English is officially dead.
Word up, dude.
My kids are great.
Of course they're great; you teach art.
I think I'm offended by that.
Should I be?
Mm-hmm.
(Matt) Hey, come on, you guys.
The day's only half over.
Besides, these kids are easy to reach.
You just have to relate to them on their own level.
Speaking of that,
was Mr. D's speech this morning amazing, or what?
All hail. The metaphor lives on.
Never in all my years have I seen a teacher
so quickly embraced by the students...
with the exception
of your father, Matt.
(Coach) Mr. D...
rules.
Hey, wait a minute.
I don't understand this.
Why are we calling him Mr. D?
(Davies) I don't know.
It's just--
It seems so--
He's just--
He's just Mr. D.
Morning, everyone.
Say, has anyone seen Mr. D?
gulp
[bell rings]
(Dylan) By the end of the day,
Mr. D was the talk of the entire school.
Stories told at lunch had grown to almost legendary proportion.
Mr. D is so cool.
I know.
Having no seating chart is awesome.
(Dylan) Even kids that weren't in Mr. D's class
acted like they were.
Mr. D is so cute.
(Dylan) Or wished they were.
Man, I wish I was in Mr. D's class.
[rock music]
Let's go! We're almost done!
♪ ♪
Come on, boys!
Let's keep it going!
Keep it going. Keep it going.
I'm right behind you.
Come on; you don't see me slowing down, do you?
Hi.
Hey, you're Mr. Warner.
Oh, hi.
Michael D'Angelo.
We didn't get a chance to--
To meet.
To meet, yeah.
Yeah.
After the assembly.
No.
Yeah.
Yeah, boy, I'm sorry about your father.
Yeah.
You're a very lucky man.
Excuse me?
That didn't sound right at all.
What I meant to say
was that it must have been something
growing up under Stormin' Norman Warner.
Oh, yes, it was. It was.
Yeah, man, he cast quite a shadow.
You know, I forgot something.
I'm going to--I'm late. I gotta go.
But it was nice meeting you, Mr.--
Matt.
Mr. Matt. Mr. Warner.
Matt.
Matt.
(Matt) He brushed me off.
He doesn't even know you.
Oh, so you're saying that if he did know me,
then he would brush me off?
I am not even going to have
this conversation.
I just think the guy's a showboat.
He's the new guy on the block.
That's not easy.
Oh, I don't know. Maybe you're right.
Hey, Dyl.
Hey, Dylan.
Hey, kiddo, not out of the carton.
How was practice?
Let's just say that if we win a game
at any sport this year, it'll be a miracle.
That bad?
I wish we were bad.
We just flat-out suck.
Wait a minute.
I think Vern Cote is a pretty great coach.
Dad, I can't even address that.
So did you fall for any new girls?
Mom, what are you doing to me?
Your mother just wanted to know
what kind of day you had.
(Dylan) Let me give you
the Cliff Note version.
If it weren't for Mr. D,
this would have been
the most embarrassing day of my life.
[bicycle bell rings]
See ya, Dad.
Have a good one.
What I want all of you to do is to imagine that you are free
to study any aspect of life science that you choose.
Anything?
Anything, as long as it relates to life science.
It can be an interesting plant
or an animal that you've been wondering about.
What about the female anatomy?
[laughter]
Class, there's nothing funny about the female anatomy.
Clyde, if you can take
that topic seriously,
then that would certainly qualify.
Awesome.
(Matt) All right, class.
All right.
Now, once you make your pick, I want each of you
to write a description of your respective topics.
What are respective topics?
Well, they're the ones that you choose.
I mean, you know, each of you individually.
I mean, they're--you know, they're all of your--
each of your topics.
Well, that clears it up.
Good.
Now, then I want you to explain why you chose--
[bugle fanfare]
Charge!
[children yelling]
[fife playing]
[bugle fanfare]
Hey, Dad!
I'm going to free the slaves.
I'm going to free the slaves.
Uh, it's nothing, class.
Just stay in your seats.
I've been killed.
No, it's not that bad.
It just looks bad.
Not that you look bad.
It is serious.
Serious?
Do you think I need mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?
(Dylan) Oh, this was tempting.
(Mr. D) Private Warner!
The first recorded use
of mouth-to-mouth resuscitation
on the battlefield
was March 4, 1944.
World War II, mister!
Nice try, though.
Make love, not war.
On your own time!
Freedom is at stake.
The fall of racism is in your hands,
and you two are flirting around.
He was saving me.
Well, then you'd better save her for later, solider!
How much time do we have?
Not a lot, Mr. D.
(Chase) Not a lot.
Then help her up, man.
I got to get to the theater.
That didn't sound right.
Emancipation!
[bugle fanfare]
Ha ha!
Mr. Warner?
Yes, Timmy?
I was wondering if you could nuke my MoonPie.
Excuse me?
My MoonPie.
Can you put it in the microwave?
Timmy, if I nuke your MoonPie,
then every student will want to use the microwave.
Now, do you think that's the purpose
of the faculty lounge?
I guess not.
Okay, then.
Hey, Matt. Glad you're here.
I know. I know.
Look, the way I see it,
nobody should tell anybody else how to teach,
but obviously, he needs to understand the parameters
in which we work here, right?
What the hell are you talking about?
D'Angelo.
What about him?
What do you mean, what about him?
We were just talking about how creative
Mr. D's methods are
and how maybe we could all be
a little more creative with our own.
Creative?
Oh, well, that's one way of looking at it.
Hey.
Here he is.
Hi.
(Dylan) Okay, this is where the craziness starts.
Mr. D had taken the ball
and was going all the way into the end zone.
All he needed now was a cheerleader.
That's not a very healthy lunch.
Oh.
That's not really my lunch.
(Matt) Of course it isn't.
I know what that is.
You want to know what that is?
Christ, Warner, it's a MoonPie.
What is your problem?
[microwave beeps]
Excuse me.
See you, Mr. D.
He's so shy.
I think I'm attracted to that.
(woman) Yeah, just set that there.
[telephone rings]
Good morning, crisis center.
I have a crisis.
Matt, honey, honey, take a deep breath.
Just--
Don't say it.
I didn't say it.
What's going on?
It's not a shadow anymore.
It's an eclipse. It's a total eclipse.
I could have lived with a shadow.
Matt, slow down.
What are you talking about?
Mr. D.
Who's going in? Anybody.
I'll do your homework for a month.
[whistle blows]
(Dylan) I think I was being kind
when I said we were just bad.
Ow!
Are you all right?
Okay, so who wants to go in? You?
You.
What about you?
You.
You know, I'm better at calling the game, Coach.
(Dylan) We were about to make history:
the first junior high team to ever go on strike.
So let me guess.
You didn't nuke the pie.
Of course I didn't.
What?
Mr. D would have nuked the pie.
He did.
Oh. [laughs]
Hey, could you do me one favor?
Anything.
Could you not say Mr. D?
Because that's all I ever hear.
Mr. D, Mr. D, Mr. D.
I'm beginning to hate the letter.
How do those shoes feel?
Large.
They're the right size for you.
You think so?
I know.
Don't feel guilty.
About what?
About stepping out of his shadow.
I still hear him telling me to relax.
I know.
To not judge something even before I've seen it.
I know.
How do you always know exactly what I'm feeling?
I don't know.
(Dylan) The next morning,
my dad took the trophy back to the school.
He had finally emerged from the shadow.
Free at last.
Mr. Warner, for the record, would you like to comment
on a rumor spreading around the school?
What rumor?
It would appear that Mr. D has emerged
as the frontrunner in this year's race
for Teacher of the Year.
Look, I don't really want to comment about that, okay?
If rumor becomes truth,
then this will be the first time in 44 years
that the name "Warner" does not appear on the trophy.
Look, I really don't--
I don't want to speculate about that.
Whoa, 44 years.
Must be an enormous amount of pressure.
I mean, how does that feel,
a family tradition, an unprecedented record
left in your hands
and hanging by a delicate thread?
And Mr. D is standing on top of you
with a pair of giant scissors.
Care to comment, sir?
Look, let me just say that the year is far from over
and that change is in the air.
Okay, that's all I got to say here.
In the air?
Do you smell something?
[sniffs]
[farting noise blaring]
Oh, dude, that was so wrong.
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
Let's see what we have in here.
Okay.
Jurassic period.
Tyrannosaurus rex.
Middle finger.
[laughter]
Okay.
Leg bone.
Early man.
Extra crispy.
We have here doggy bone.
June.
[laughter]
Of last year.
Oh, this is the greatest find of all time.
Ladies and gentlemen,
swimsuit edition, March, no articles.
This is going to go in Dr. D's private collection.
[rock music]
(GOB) ♪ Take a chance on me. ♪
♪ But I know, I know ♪
♪ these feelings that I have inside of me, ♪
♪ in me. ♪
♪ My belly's burning, and it's turning. ♪
♪ Don't you see? ♪
♪ I'm upset. As yet no regrets. ♪
♪ If there ever was a time ♪
♪ when I could go back and make it all fine ♪
♪ with you, I wanna pursue. ♪
♪ All the blood and tears I've sweated. ♪
♪ All the work, we can't forget it. ♪
♪ You'll see. Take a chance on me. ♪
♪ But I know, I know ♪
♪ these feelings that I have inside of me, ♪
♪ in me. ♪
♪ My belly's burning, and it's turning. ♪
♪ Don't you see? ♪
♪ I'm upset. As yet no regrets. ♪
♪ ♪
Hey, guys.
Hey.
I could bring it up or leave it down here.
She said, "Bring it up; bring it up."
Hey, girls.
Want to hear about the mystery of science?
...that she would turn
that entire hotel upside down.
She's screaming and telling him
that he's so stupid.
[laughter]
Lipstick, eye shadow...
♪ I'm upset. As yet no regrets. ♪
♪ I'm upset. As yet no regrets. ♪
♪ I'm upset. As yet no regrets. ♪
♪ ♪
That's number seven for the teachers,
and it looks like we're on our way
to another student victory.
Thanks in part to Matt Warner,
who continues on his way to capturing the LVP award,
least valuable player:
11 errors and 7 strike-outs.
It's not a good day for the Biology Basher.
Okay, Warner, you've been throwing me
nothing but meatballs all day.
If you don't throw me something I can hit,
your grades may be seriously affected.
[cheering]
Lucky for you,
Warner!
Uh, Matt, Matt?
Matt, I'm taking you out.
What do you mean?
Mr. D.
I'm ready to go.
Coach, I am telling you--
(Coach) I know. Come on. Come on.
And now a bold but not surprising move
by Coach Vern Cote.
Pinch-hitting for Matt Warner is Mr. D.
Big hit, Mr. D!
Big hit!
Okay, Mr. D!
Drive us home!
Okay, bring on the heat, Dylan.
And be gentle on me;
I'm old.
Warner winds up, and here's the pitch.
He's done it!
(Dylan) Students and teachers alike were swirled up
into the whirlwind of Mr. D.
You gave me that one, Dylan.
It's not my birthday.
Thank you.
Whoo hoo-hoo!
I love you, Mr. D.
(Dylan) Okay, almost everybody.
Mom, Mom.
You wouldn't have believed the game today.
You won?
No, we lost.
But you should have seen Mr. D.
He was unbelievable.
Bottom of the ninth.
And boom!
He was like Barry Bonds.
Wow, I bet your dad's excited.
[sighs]
Who needs a hug?
You're working late.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
I know you keep to yourself, Mr. D.
Michael.
Please, call me Michael.
Michael.
I'm pretty sure I don't want to bother you,
but you do something to me.
And then I started thinking
that I can only be feeling that sort of, you know, whatever,
unless the other person
who's doing it to me is also feeling
that kind of something.
Does that make any sense to you?
It makes all the sense in the world.
Really?
Yeah, it really does.
And I would--I would really,
really like to go have coffee with you sometime.
Or go bowling.
Bowling?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm pretty sure I like bowling.
I love bowling.
But the fact is,
I can't.
And I'm sorry.
Oh, yeah, me too.
Yeah.
Ms. Davies?
You are very attractive.
Call me Denise.
I would love nothing more than to call you...
Denise.
Mm, Ellie.
Mm, Matty.
(Dylan) I'm not claiming to know any specifics
that go on in my parents' bedroom,
but something happened that night.
Matty.
Ellie.
Mr. D.
What did you say?
Why are you stopping?
You said, "Mr. D."
Why on Earth would I say "Mr. D"?
I don't know. You tell me.
Oh, how did you know?
I've hidden my feelings
for a man I've never even met,
and somehow you knew.
Well, I can't hide them anymore, Matt.
I'm in love with Mr. D.
I distinctly heard you say--
Oh, are you losing your mind?
Hey, I'm not the one who's being unfaithful.
Oh, great, now you're going to go sleep on the couch?
(Dylan) Well, I guess if you're going to go crazy,
you might as well dress for it.
I don't think my dad even knew what he was looking for.
But that didn't stop him.
He was a man on a mission.
Unrelenting, obsessed.
I got you.
Huh.
Nice chair.
Oh, Carl wants to know what characterizes sarcodines.
Can anyone help out?
[children clamoring]
I know it. I know the answer.
I know the answer.
Everyone knows the answer? Wow.
Pick me, Mr. Warner. Pick me.
Devon.
Sarcodines are characterized
by extensions of the cell membranes.
(girl) Can we have school every day of the week?
I can't teach classes after school
or on weekends.
[school bell rings]
Oh, my God, come on.
You guys have got to see this.
[snoring]
[children laughing]
Uh, Mr. D'Angelo wanted you all to prepare your lesson.
Do--go do that.
(boy) Nice jammies, Mr. Warner.
So I'll talk to you tomorrow, then.
Faculty emergency.
Mr. Warner!
She'll have to call you back.
Hey!
That's a physical impossibility.
[cell phone rings]
Hello.
Ellie, I'm so glad that I caught you.
I've been worried sick.
I came down this morning to apologize,
and you were gone.
I'm already at school.
I was trying to locate a grade book that I forgot.
Well, we've got your lunch and your briefcase,
which you also forgot.
I know, I know, I know.
Listen, could you bring me a change of clothes
and some shoes and some socks too?
We're already on the road,
and what part of this are you not telling me?
Ellie, believe me, everything is going to be okay.
I got him.
Got who? Matt--
D'Angelo. I'll tell you about it when you get here.
Bye.
Geek.
Honey, I need to ask you a serious question.
Sure, Mom.
Why does Mr. D have the effect he does
on everybody?
And I thought it was going to be a tough one.
Humor me.
Well, he treats us like we're his friends.
I mean, his lessons aren't lessons.
They're mysteries that the whole class has to solve.
Do you know what I mean?
All I understand is that "mystery"
is the key word here.
What am I saying, sir?
With all due respect,
it's right here in his roll book.
It's the secret of his popularity.
Look at this.
Straight As across the board,
without exception.
I mean, who wouldn't love this guy?
They're all going to Harvard.
Matilda, would you contact Mr. D
and have him come in here, please?
(Matilda) Okay.
Thank you.
So, Matt, can I--
can I get you anything?
Cup of coffee?
No.
A shower?
Bowl of Froot Loops?
[laughs] Very good.
This is a delicate situation.
I know it is.
And I need to handle this in a manner
which will prevent you further embarrassment.
I know you do.
I know you don't.
You're confused.
But don't worry; clarity is just around the corner.
[knocking at door]
Come in.
Ah.
You wanted to see me?
Mr. D, I wanted to be the first to congratulate you.
It seems you've made a little bit of history
down at the National Board of Education.
Really?
(Bass) Yes, you're the first teacher
to ever have an entire class receive straight As,
using the standardized test system.
(Mr. D) Oh, wow.
Oh, and they've sent over this little token
of their appreciation and gratitude.
Well, well, I'm very proud of those kids, sir.
(Bass) Oh, well, we're very proud of you.
Keep up the good work.
Congratulations.
Thank you, sir.
Matt?
Oh, oh.
Well, congratulations.
Thank you.
Hey, nice.
Oh, thank you.
Oh!
I think this belongs to you as well.
Oh, yeah.
Thank you.
Bye, now.
Standardized tests?
Standardized test systems.
You can't cheat on standardized tests.
I know.
Sweetheart, go to class.
Okay. Bye, Mom.
Matilda, the only reason Dylan is late
is because his father called and needed--
Don't tell me.
A robe and a teddy bear.
Uh, hi, honey.
I got the day off.
You want to do something?
Honey, please.
I'm sorry.
Don't you "honey" me, Matt.
Look, I was just doing a last-minute
lesson plan checking situation,
and I fell asleep.
Honey, please.
I need you right now.
Ellie, I'm sorry, okay?
I work with people on a daily basis
who have nothing.
You have everything,
and yet you seem determined to turn it into nothing.
That's not true.
I just--
This is your job, our life.
And you show up in your pajamas.
Thank God Dylan didn't see you.
Ellie?
Ellie, don't go.
Ellie.
Ellie!
Ellie, slow down.
It's a school zone!
Happy Casual Tuesday, Matt.
What a geek.
(Dylan) That's it.
Game over.
Complete shut-out.
Why did I even think I had a chance?
Excuse me, Mr. D!
Afternoon, Coach.
Afternoon.
I'm not a very good athlete.
I'm not a very good coach, either.
Why they keep me here on staff, I'm not sure.
We haven't won a game in any sport
since I started three years ago.
We got basketball season coming up,
and judging by your performance at the softball game,
you're quite an athlete.
And you can walk really fast too.
[panting]
Okay.
Okay?
Okay.
Okay.
I think you're really going to enjoy this.
Take that there.
That one's heavy.
Just plop that on top.
Should I be confused?
No, not at all.
We'll go for coffee after.
After what?
Bowling.
I love bowling.
(Sam Roberts) ♪ And your life is deceiving. ♪
♪ My eyes are seeing. ♪
Oh!
♪ ...is believing. ♪
Ready?
Rock and roll.
♪ And your love is deceiving. ♪
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
♪ ...are seeing. ♪
♪ And seeing is believing. ♪
Your shot, darlin'.
♪ And your life is deceiving. ♪
It's getting late.
Do you have to go?
How much time do you have?
[laughs]
Not a lot.
I know what you mean.
I've got a montage materials marathon at home.
Chop, chop, snip, snip.
Basically shred everything in my apartment I don't want,
including, in case you were wondering,
a picture of my old boyfriend.
Hmm, then you and the kids,
you guys cut and paste them onto--
Papier-mâché farm animals.
Cool.
Is there a petting zoo I should know about?
Want to come back to my place,
do some papier-mâché things?
It could be messy.
You know, Denise,
I should tell you that I'm spoken for.
Actions speak louder than words.
♪ And your life is deceiving. ♪
♪ Your eyes are seeing. ♪
♪ And seeing is believing. ♪
♪ My love is freeing. ♪
♪ And your life is deceiving. ♪
I don't have everything unless I have you.
[romantic classical music]
♪ ♪
I'm Ellie Warner.
I'm Matt Warner, jackass.
You're my jackass.
Your dinner awaits.
Am I in the right house?
Hey, what's wrong?
Chase thinks we're the Addams family.
I'll be in my room.
Dylan?
And, Dad, please try
not to come to school in your pajamas.
It makes my life a living hell,
and it's bad enough already.
Jackass?
Major.
I'll be right here.
Hey, kiddo.
Listen, I'm sorry I embarrassed you
in front of your girlfriend.
She's not my girlfriend.
She'll never be my girlfriend.
Dad?
My heart hurts.
Well, it's not really your heart, Dylan.
It sure feels like it.
I know it does, and it'll go away.
I don't want it to.
What do you mean?
It hurts, but I feel...alive.
Mr. D said that sometimes in order to be truly alive,
sometimes you need to feel things,
even if it hurts.
Well, that's just one way of looking at it.
But remember how you told me to solve my problems
by putting them on a linear branching logic tree?
The logic tree, yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, well, I tried that.
That's great.
But then Mr. D's logic seemed
to make a lot more sense to me.
So I think I'm going to go with that.
Oh.
Hey, thanks, Dad.
I feel better.
All right.
Have a good night.
He cut down my tree.
[bicycle bell rings]
Now, class, in honor of the beginning of our study
of the human anatomy--
Hey, Mr. Warner, no pajamas?
No, Clyde, no pajamas today.
But I do have something
that I think you're going to enjoy.
snap!
Now, class, everyone come on up here
and gather around my desk.
And everyone take a look at this.
Ew.
Now, can anyone tell me
what this fleshy mass is?
Something from the cafeteria?
It's a lung.
Left side.
Most likely male.
Very good, Devon. That's right.
Mr. Warner, what's that tube thingy?
Let me show you.
Watch this.
Awesome!
That is pretty awesome, isn't it?
And that is going on
inside every one of you right now.
Now, let's try it all together, all right?
Deep breaths together.
Follow me.
[knocking at door]
Hi, I'm sorry to bother you.
I just need to borrow a piece of chalk.
Oh, I'll get you a new box.
Thank you.
Hey, guys.
Hey!
Sushi.
Sweet.
That's good.
Okay, then.
In, out.
And a one.
And a two.
Feel the stretch now.
Okay, that's good. Stop.
All right, everybody.
Jazzercise. There we go.
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
We were just studying the lung.
Thank you for the... chalk.
Let's try that again.
Okay, here we go.
thump!
(all) Mr. D. Mr. D.
Everybody, shut up!
Can anybody give me--
Can anybody tell me what that was an example of?
A dictator?
Thank you, Chase.
[bell rings]
Okay, people,
we have a pop quiz this Thursday.
Chase, Dylan, I need you to stay for a second, okay?
(boy) Ooh!
"Ooh," yeah, yourselves.
Beat it. Have a good lunch.
Eat a carrot.
Will you guys put your desks together for me?
You know, one of the great humanitarians of the world,
Eleanor Roosevelt, she once said,
"Do one thing every day that scares you."
You guys comfortable?
Thank you for your time.
(Dylan) Here it is, the moment of truth.
Do I do what my heart is telling me?
Roll over like a puppy, grovel, beg for forgiveness?
No.
You think I'm a geek.
No.
I think your dad's a geek.
Yeah, well, he's not.
And I'm not my dad.
Mr. Warner, what are you doing?
I'm nuking your MoonPie.
Cool.
[sighs]
What? What?
Nothing.
(Bass) Good morning, everyone.
Matt, I--
I just got a phone call from Hugh Evans' parents.
A very unpleasant call.
Made me feel a little tense.
Wondered if you could come down to my office
after class.
I'd like to share this tension with you.
Yes, sir.
Good.
Unbelievable.
Miserable little bastards.
Show any sign of weakness,
and they trounce on your nuts like an African rhino.
Here.
What's this?
My therapist.
If it weren't for him, I'd be in prison.
Hey, Matt, you forgot your MoonPie.
Oh, right.
Oh!
[chuckles]
[stifled laughter]
Is it done?
[laughter]
Go ahead, laugh.
Laugh all you want. I don't care.
I owe you a MoonPie.
[laughs]
(Dylan) After the pajama incident,
Mom made sure Dad always had an extra change of clothes.
The oxygen-rich blood leaves the heart.
Uh, no, wait a second, Mr. Warner.
That's not what you said before.
You've got it all wrong.
It isn't?
(Patty) No, the oxygen-rich blood
returns to the heart via the capillaries
surrounding the alveoli after we inhale.
Oh, well, that's probably right.
I mean, that's definitely right.
I mean, very good, Patty. That's good.
Look, if anyone else has any idea what I'm talking about,
just let me in on it, okay?
Hey, Mr. Warner, your ride's here.
[laughter]
Excuse me, is this the room for--
No, no, no, no.
Don't tell me. I already know.
The guy you're looking for,
he's across the hall
on planet D.
That's one small step for man,
one giant pain in the a--
(man) Somebody help me up?
[bell rings]
And don't forget, tomorrow we dissect basketballs,
and good luck to the frog team.
Sir, about the Evans boy.
I was demonstrating
the function of the lungs in the human body,
and he evidently became
overly enthusiastic about the lesson.
And he, um, well, he, you know.
Passed out.
Well, he hyperventilated.
And then he passed out.
[clears throat]
Matt, I didn't call you in here
to talk about the Evans boy
or the fact that you pushed over
a national space hero.
We have a problem here, Matt.
And I'll tell you what.
Now, I knew your father for a long time.
And that's probably the only reason
why you're not on suspension.
But if this keeps up, my loyalty won't stand
in the way of what needs to happen
to keep this school running
the way I believe we all want it to run.
I know that, sir, and I'm sorry.
I'm not looking for an apology, Matt.
I want a decision.
I want you to decide whether or not
you want to be an educator.
Well, I can answer that right now, sir.
No, no, I don't think you can.
Why don't you take the weekend?
(Matilda) Principal Bass.
Hugh Evans' father is on one.
You got NASA holding on two.
[Bass sighs]
(Dylan) Things were as low as they could get.
Any thought about winning Teacher of the Year
had completely evaporated.
[distant cheering]
[applause]
Hi, Mr. Warner.
Timmy, are you okay?
Sure, look at the score.
(woman) Way to go, boys!
Unbelievable!
Never before have I seen such an atrocious performance
from an athletic franchise.
It's brilliant!
Hey, Coach.
Oh, hey, Warner.
Wait a minute, Coach.
What are you doing in the stands?
And why is everybody cheering like this?
We're getting killed out there.
I know. Isn't it great?
Mr. D has taught me to redefine the term "winning."
You don't have to win to be a winner.
Winning isn't just "winning."
Winning is losing with a winning attitude,
because if you lose like a winner,
then a loss is a victory, no matter who wins,
especially if you lose.
Or something like that.
(Dylan) Now, this might seem confusing, but it's really quite simple.
The opposing team scores.
We cheer.
They steal the ball away.
We cheer.
Hoo yeah!
(Dylan) We miss a shot.
We cheer.
Yeah!
(Dylan) Oh, on the off chance
we got a basket, we'd also cheer.
Mr. D said it was only fair,
and it showed good sportsmanship.
Mr. D is a genius.
But I don't understand.
Who is coaching?
Time!
Time out.
Come in, guys. Let's go.
Huddle up.
Who hasn't gone in yet?
A!
N!
G!
[together] E-L-S.
Go, girls!
We can't shoot or get a four.
Fallbrook, Fallbrook, hear our cheer.
Mr. D for Teacher of the Year.
What is the dealio, guys?
We're down by about 30 goals here.
That's 30 points, Coach.
30 goals and 30 points?
Okay, so basically, we have no chance of winning this game.
But is everybody having a good time?
(boys) Yeah!
Everybody trying their hardest?
How much time do we have?
(boys) Not a lot.
Get your hands in here.
Who's got the best war cry in the league?
[all yelling]
All right!
Now get out there, and lose this game.
I need to get home.
[together] Huh!
Mr. D for Teacher of the Year!
Mr. D for Teacher of the Year!
Whoo! Yeah.
We're the worst.
(Nelly Furtado) ♪ I'm trynna finda way. ♪
♪ I'm trynna finda right. ♪
♪ If I budge, I just might. ♪
♪ I'm trynna finda way. ♪
♪ I'm trynna finda right. ♪
♪ If I budge... ♪
(Dylan) By comparison, amateur detectives
were suddenly elevated to professional status.
♪ I heard about it from the mouth of a man. ♪
(Dylan) I mean, who uses a turn signal when you're tailing someone?
And if you're going to follow this close,
why not just splay yourself across Mr. D's hood
and save the gas money?
♪ And it lies, it lies in the picket fence call. ♪
♪ It was my own paradise with my own private corridor. ♪
♪ I'm trynna finda way. ♪
♪ I'm trynna finda right. ♪
♪ If I budge, I just might. ♪
♪ I'm trynna finda way. ♪
♪ I'm trynna finda right. ♪
♪ If I budge, I just might. ♪
(Dylan) Even nature was telling my dad to relax,
go home where it's warm and dry.
But no.
He was on a roll.
Blind to what he was seeing, he pushed forward.
(man) Man, you're a saint.
You got anything to eat?
Oh, thanks, brother.
Love you, man.
♪ I'm trynna finda way. ♪
♪ I'm trynna finda right. ♪
♪ If I budge, I just might. ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Can I have your attention, please? ♪
(Dylan) Oh, right, like my dad was going to climb a fire escape ladder,
the guy who'd get a nosebleed
stepping up onto a bathroom scale?
Hey, what you doing there, Chief?
Uh, uh.
I lost my key.
Oh, so you live here.
Yeah, that's right.
I--yeah, I live here.
Yeah, what number you live at, punk?
I don't think that's any of your business,
actually.
Hey, shut your punk ass up.
He axed you a question.
Yo, he axed you what number you live at, fool.
Uh, number 201.
I live at number 201.
Wait, 201?
Yo, homie.
He trying to rob Mr. D.
Uh, which one of you is Homie?
Oh, God. Oh, God.
Yo, get his ass!
Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.
Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.
Lightning speed.
♪ Trynna finda way. ♪
♪ Trynna finda right. ♪
♪ If I budge, I just might. ♪
♪ I'm trynna finda way. ♪
♪ I'm trynna finda right. ♪
♪ If I budge, I just might. ♪
♪ ♪
Hey, hey, wait a minute.
Those are my clothes.
You stole my--
I bought those fair and square.
From who?
Our nation is founded on the principle
of democracy and free trade.
What do you got?
Wait a minute.
You're telling me you want me
to trade something for my own clothes?
Assuming you, like myself,
have experienced social financial reversal,
it is only proper we continue to negotiate
in the spirit of capitalism.
What do you got?
Oh, oh, here, here.
What about these?
How about that watch?
Oh, no, no, no, that's a family heirloom.
You see, my great-grandfather gave it to my grandfather
and--why am I telling you this?
Okay, deal.
Wait, that's not even mine.
This for that. Take it or leave it.
If Mr. D taught me anything,
it's that a fair deal is a fair deal.
Wait, did you say Mr. D?
I'll do it. Come on, deal.
♪ I'm trynna finda way. ♪
♪ I'm trynna finda right. ♪
♪ I'm trynna finda way. ♪
♪ I'm trynna finda right. ♪
(Dylan) Just when it looked like things couldn't get any stranger,
they did.
♪ ♪
♪ Hello, you have my attention. ♪
♪ Do I have your attention? ♪
♪ Can I have your attention, please? ♪
[knocking]
Mrs. Warner.
I'm Michael D'Angelo.
I work with--
My husband.
Do you have any idea where he is?
You know, I wouldn't worry about him too much.
He's been following me since yesterday afternoon.
Following you?
You know, he's pretty stressed out right now,
and I have something that might help clear things up.
Do you mind if I come in for a moment?
So this is your yearbook.
Yeah.
Then you must have known Mr. Warner, Sr.
Oh, I didn't just know Stormin' Norman Warner.
I wanted to be him.
That's Matt's problem too.
Right there.
I should get going.
Yes, thank you.
(Dylan) Well, at least Dad learned we were still getting the paper.
(Ellie) Thank you
for showing me that.
It felt good for me too.
Bye, Michael.
Bye, Ellie.
♪ I'm trynna finda way. ♪
♪ I'm trynna finda right. ♪
♪ If I budge, I just might. ♪
♪ I'm trynna finda way. ♪
♪ I'm trynna finda right. ♪
♪ If I budge, I just might. ♪
[woman over intercom] Mrs. Anderson,
please pick up line two.
Mrs. Anderson, please pick up line two.
Dr. Frank to Oncology. Dr. Frank to Oncology.
(woman) Okay, Michael, a little pinch.
[sighs]
Okay, all set.
Here's your basin,
in case you feel a little queasy,
and I'll be back to check up on you
in a little while.
Excuse me.
Why don't you wait right here,
and I'll get someone to help you?
Security.
(Norman) "Michael,
"not since my own son, Matty, have I had the privilege
"of knowing a young man so empowered
"by the spirit of knowledge that he invites miracles.
Norman Warner."
I'm sorry, Ellie.
I met Mr. D today.
So did I.
Hi, Dad.
You know, as a scientist,
I don't think that you've been watching me,
because if you had been,
you probably would have told me to relax.
Well, I understand now, Dad.
The shadows are gone.
You told me it takes less than death to kill a man.
Well, I don't want to keep dying, Dad.
And I won't.
Thanks for listening.
Hello, class.
Today I want you to close your textbooks
and put away your pens and papers.
'Cause today is a free period.
I want to know
what you guys want to do.
Anything at all. Who's got an idea?
Patty.
Can we sit in on Mr. D's class?
Okay.
Come on, everyone.
Out of your seats.
Let's go. Come on.
Come on.
[drum beating, flute playing]
♪ ♪
(Dylan) The obsession with Mr. D seemed to vanish
almost as fast as it had appeared.
I guess my dad figured if you can't beat 'em...
Do you mind if we join you?
All tribes welcome.
Okay, come on, kids.
[whispers] Hi, Dad.
Hear me, my chiefs.
My heart is weak and sick.
Though the flesh may turn to dust,
my soul will stand strong
and soar higher than ever before,
like the distant echo of a beating drum
breathing life like the wind,
part of all living things.
Now...
and forever.
Now I need volunteers.
I'd like a construction worker, a cowboy, and a biker.
[bell rings]
(boy) Wait up!
Hello, Ms. Witherspoon.
Dylan, just give me a minute.
I want to say something to Mr. D'Angelo.
I mean to Mr. D.
And then we'll head out, kiddo.
(Dylan) Great work, Dad.
In front of Chase, you call me...
Kiddo.
I kind of like that.
You do?
Yeah, but I like "Dylan" better.
I've got cheerleading practice.
Maybe I'll see you there.
Okay, yeah.
I'll be there.
Bye.
Dad?
Yeah, I guess I missed him.
I just wanted to thank him for today.
You'll have plenty of time for that.
I think he's going to be here for a while.
Dylan, uh, you know, even if Mr. D moved on
to another school,
he'd always be a part of Fallbrook.
Just like Grandpa is.
You know, when Mr. D was telling us his story,
it made me think of Gramps.
Me too.
I mean, Grandpa never put on a headdress.
But he was always telling me to take my shot,
to make every moment count, to--
Soar.
Yeah.
I guess I never really understood what he meant
until I met Mr. D.
(Untyde) ♪ Whatever makes you shine. ♪
♪ There's a star in your eyes, ♪
♪ but it's started to fade out lately. ♪
♪ All the things that you've done ♪
♪ don't seem to make much difference, ♪
♪ don't seem to make you happy anymore. ♪
♪ Always searching, always wanting more. ♪
♪ Why don't you take it? ♪
♪ Why don't you make it? ♪
♪ Don't stand there looking for excuses. ♪
♪ 'Cause you won't get them. ♪
♪ No, you won't get them from me. ♪
[Howard over P.A.] For the first time, I'm almost speechless.
I must say, it has been spectacularly masterminded
by our very own Mr. D.
What a job he's done
with this group of fledgling ballplayers.
(Howard) Transforming a total absence of talent
into one of the most dynamic displays of athletic ineptitude
I've ever witnessed.
(Dylan) Okay, here we are again,
cheering the other team's baskets...
cheering our mistakes.
[cheering]
(cheerleaders) Stomp your feet!
Pound your chest!
Who cares if we lose? 'Cause we're doing our best!
(Dylan) But something was happening.
I don't know if it's because we were just having a good time,
but every once in a while,
we'd pull off a pretty good play.
[cheers and applause]
Way to go, Dylan!
[buzzer buzzes]
That's my kid. That's my kid.
High five. A little higher, now.
Swing and a miss.
[bicycle bell rings]
Good morning, class.
[children greeting]
I have test scores.
[children groaning]
No, no groaning.
You all did extremely well.
We did?
All of us?
Everyone?
Yes.
Now, when I call your names, you come up here,
and you get your tests.
[Bass over P.A.] Good morning, everyone.
This is your principal.
I--I'm not really sure how to--
Well, Mr. D is sick,
and he's in the hospital.
At this point, we're not really sure
if he'll be able to return to school.
We're going to send a card over to Mr. D
as soon as everyone signs it.
So please stop by the trophy case
in the main hall at lunch
so that we can get this over to him as soon as possible.
I'm sure Mr. D would want all of you not to worry,
and I know he's thinking about all of you.
So let's all think about him and send our prayers,
because he will get them.
Your substitute history teacher will be Miss Hunt.
Please give her a big Fallbrook welcome
in Mr. D's absence.
Hey, what's this?
Who are you?
Can you not read?
Yeah, and you've completely spelled
the name of this class wrong.
I take it you're familiar with the principal's office.
I'm on my way.
[laughter]
[rapping]
Any other comedians?
Okay, class.
I--I know we're all feel--
Let me just tell you something about Mr. D.
He's not going to let any sickness
get in his way.
You watch and see.
You just watch and--
Mr. Warner, are you okay?
I'm good, Patty.
Oh, and so are you,
with your first A of the year.
Congratulations, Patty.
Oh, and, Clyde,
you didn't do so bad yourself.
Come on down.
Come on, you guys.
Let's do this for Mr. D.
(girl) Oh, I want to sign.
(Clyde) Take your time; we have plenty of pencils.
I want everybody to sign all around.
Say something nice.
Good work, Clyde.
Thanks, Mr. Warner.
[crying]
It's going to be okay.
He tried to tell me.
I heard he has leukemia.
I heard he has cancer.
Leukemia is cancer, you idiots.
Who's going to coach the g-g-game tomorrow?
What d-d-does it m-m-matter, Seth?
Why don't you shut up, Brad?
Why don't you make me?
Why don't I make you?
Hey, hey, what's the problem here?
Oh, there's no problem, Mr. Warner.
Hey, you know, Mr. D wouldn't be very happy
if he saw you guys fighting, you know?
Mr. D isn't here.
Oh, yes, he is.
What are you talking about, Dad?
Well, you don't have to be here to actually be here.
I-I d-don't follow.
Guys, look.
Every single day,
your teachers stand up in front of your classes,
and they give you things.
Mostly Cs.
No, not just grades. They give you knowledge.
What they've learned,
they give to you.
And every time you give something to someone,
you give just a little part of yourself.
Which means that all of you have a little bit of me,
of Ms. Davies, of Mr. Parks,
and all of you have a little bit of Mr. D.
He's here, guys.
You just got to know where to look for him.
I'll see you in science.
Hey, Dylan.
Your old man's all right.
Yeah, he is.
See you.
(Dylan) She likes me.
She really likes me.
Hey, Coach.
Can I have a word with you?
Of course.
Here's what I'm thinking.
Honey, where you going?
I'll be back.
Well, just remember if you go out
to put your clothes on.
Hello, Michael.
I seem to be having a lot of one-way conversations lately.
But I figured out why you're such a great teacher.
Because you don't just teach the students;
you teach the teachers too.
You know, my dad used to always talk
about the miracles of education.
He was Teacher of the Year 43 times.
But you taught me one or two things
that even he couldn't.
And I just wanted to thank you for that, Michael.
Mr. D.
Hey, Matt?
I learned a couple of things from you too.
(Matt) Ow!
[medieval men's choral music]
♪ ♪
So?
Who am I?
This isn't going to involve a human sacrifice, is it?
I'll give you a hint.
I am the father of genetics.
Devon?
Gregor Mendel?
That's right. That's absolutely right.
I am Gregor Mendel, and I have a big problem.
Yeah, your wardrobe.
Actually, you know what?
That is a problem.
But I also have a bigger problem that I was hoping
that my apprentices could help me out with.
I need to conduct several experiments,
and I need to use a particular plant.
Now, which plant should I use?
String beans?
Fava beans. [slurps]
Pea plants?
And the winner is...
pea plants!
Very good, Patty.
In 1929, the nation's economy was cut to its knees
by what devastating event?
Nobody?
Nobody knows this?
Who has been teaching you this year?
This is history, isn't it?
No, Miss Hunt, it isn't.
You need to redefine your terms.
That's right.
Haven't you ever told a story?
The proper term is his- and herstory.
What?
His- and herstory.
One more word, and all of you
will be telling your stories to the principal.
I'm on my way.
Who's coming with me?
Plan B.
So what Mendel-- I mean what I--
[knocking at door]
May we join you?
Come on in.
Come on, kids. Right back there.
Hey, good afternoon, Timmy.
Good afternoon, Mr. Warner.
Good afternoon, everybody.
Good afternoon, Matt.
MoonPie.
Oh. [chuckles]
You must have seen my shrink.
No, but I've seen a lot.
You have a good day.
You too.
Going to the game, Warner?
Of course; it's our last game of the season, right?
Hey, heads up, Timmy.
I owed you one.
Thanks, Mr. Warner.
Better suit up for the game.
I will.
Hey, guys, I don't think
Mr. D would like this pregame attitude.
Well, who's going to tell him?
I will.
Now, listen, guys.
I got a little addition for your uniforms
that I think you're going to like.
Come here. Come here.
I want you to take these wristbands,
put them on.
Come on, all of you.
Now, look, guys.
I know that there's a big part of this team
that isn't here right now.
But we know where to find it, don't we?
Now, we owe it to Mr. D to get out there
and have a great time.
Now, who's got the best war cry in basketball?
Come on, hands in.
One, two, three!
[all yelling]
I'm almost speechless for the first time.
I mean,
we actually could win.
(Dylan) Yup, that's us playing.
Rebounding, scoring, almost winning.
[cheering]
Time out! Time out!
[whistle blows]
Come on, guys. Come on.
(Dylan) The team had a new confidence.
Take it on the chin.
It doesn't matter if you win.
Play the game for fun.
Win or lose, you've won.
(Dylan) And so did I.
How you doing?
I've been better.
Well, if you're going to fall in front of a crowd this size,
at the biggest game of the year,
you've got to make a louder thunk.
Like this.
That's the stuff.
That really works?
I don't know.
You're the first girl I've ever fallen for.
[whistle blows]
[cheering]
Come on, you guys. We got to do this.
Okay, this is good. This is really good.
I mean, we could win this thing.
We could really win this thing.
But, you know, winning doesn't really matter,
because you guys are so unbelievable.
I mean, I'm really proud--
Mr. Warner, take it easy.
Oh, right, right, right.
(Dylan) Dad, what's the play?
What are we going to do?
Okay, okay, here's what we're going to do.
We got about 30 seconds left.
I want you to hang on to the ball for as long as you can
before you shoot, okay?
What if we lose the ball?
Seth, what's your strength?
Footwork.
Fred Astaire defense.
Give me your foot.
Who's Fred Astaire?
How much time do we have?
Enough.
Well, then, you take us home, Matt.
Okay.
Hey, we're playing a game here.
Okay, Seth.
It's time to step up.
I'm ready.
Then you're our man.
Come on, guys. Let's go.
[cheering]
Fred Astaire defense!
[tapping]
[When the Saints Come Marching In]
♪ ♪
(Matt) Come on; that's your ball!
Get it back!
(crowd) Ten, nine...
eight, seven, six,
five, four, three, two...
Take your shot!
One!
[cheering]
Come on!
High five!
Hey, how about one more bite, little man, huh?
Let me finish up here, Matty.
You got to get going.
Oh, okay.
See you later, kiddo.
Hey, Dad, you walking up?
Yeah.
Got everything?
Got everything.
Bye, Michael.
Love you, honey.
Love you too. Now scram.
You want a bite?
Ooh.
Oh, good boy.
All right, junior year.
You know what that means.
Next year, this will be a car?
Morning, Mr. Warner.
Hey, Chase.
This is your year, Dad.
Hey, it's going to be a great year.
And I'm ready.
What do you think?
It might be important.
What would I do without my girls?
Bye.
Bye.
(Dylan) Dad was right.
We all had a little bit of Mr. D in our hearts.
Oh, and Ms. Davies had a little more;
she inherited his car.
(Matt) Welcome to life science, everybody.
The first order of business is the seating chart.
We're not having one this year.
Now, the mysteries of science are happening all around us
all the time.
They're happening inside us right now.
Okay, what I'd like you all to do
is to look at the person to your left.
Now, each one of you is looking at another human being.
They may have red hair. They may have brown eyes.
They may not smell that good.
[laughter]
But you know what?
Each one of you is looking at a miracle.
[rock music]
(Dylan) This might sound silly,
but it was like Gramps had sent Mr. D down
to help us all relax, believe in ourselves,
take our shots.
♪ ♪
Captioning by CaptionMax www.captionmax.com
(The YoYos) ♪ Hello, hello. ♪
♪ I'll bring you letters ♪
♪ from the man you used to know. ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Give in; let go ♪
♪ to the words that made you feel ♪
♪ you weren't alone. ♪
♪ Now, it's funny how we find out ♪
♪ time can solve the mystery, ♪
♪ but love is only temporary. ♪
♪ Hello, hello. ♪
♪ The smile on your face is just for show. ♪
♪ Inside, you're screaming, "Let me go." ♪
♪ Hello, hello. ♪
♪ Loneliness doesn't make a sound ♪
♪ till I head back underground. ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Hello, hello. ♪
♪ I bring you pictures ♪
♪ from the man you used to know. ♪
♪ Give in; let go ♪
♪ to the images that made you feel at home. ♪
♪ Now, it's funny how we find out ♪
♪ how age can change a man. ♪
♪ Confused but now I understand. ♪
♪ Hello, hello. ♪
♪ You're swimming faster than you know, ♪
♪ but you can't fight the undertow. ♪
♪ Hello, hello. ♪
♪ Loneliness doesn't make a sound ♪
♪ till I head back underground. ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Hello, hello. ♪
♪ Maybe I'll just say good-bye. ♪