Where is he, anyway?

I don't know, not in the house.

Watching the news? HA!

I'd like to know what he's really up to.

As if a normal boy cares what's on the news

Dudley hasn't got a clue what's going on

I doubt he knows who the prime minister is

Anyway,

It's not as if there'd be anything about his lot on our news

Vernon Shhh! The Window is open.

Oh yes... Uh... Sorry dear

Put it away! Now! Before anyone sees!

What the devil do you think you're doing?!

What did I do?

Making a racket like a starting pistol right outside our...

I didn't make that noise!

Why were you lurking under our window?

Yes yes good point Petunia!

What were you doing under our window boy?

Listening to the news

Listening to the news? Again?

Well it changes everyday you see.

Don't you be clever with me boy,

You know perfectly well that your lot don't get on our news.

That's all you know...

You're a nasty little liar!

We're not stupid you know!

Well THAT's news to me!

Squealed like a pig, didn't he?

Nice right Hook, Big D.

Hey Big D! Beat up another ten year old?

This one deserved it!

Oh did he now?

He was asking for it. He cheeked me.

Yeah?

Did he say you looked like a pig...

...that's been taught to walk on it's hind legs?

'Cause that's not cheek Dud', that's simply true.

Five against one... Very brave...

Well you're the one to talk!

Moaning in your sleep every night :

"DON'T KILL CEDRIC!!"

Who's Cedric? Your Boyfriend?

Shut up.

"HE'S GOING TO KILL ME MUM!"

Where is your mum?

Is she dead?

Is she dead?!

IS SHE DEAD POTTER?!

It's getting cold...

It's getting cold out of here Dudley!

Dudley! We gotta get out of here Dudley!

What are you doing?

I'm not doing anything!

Dudley come on!

Dudley stop!

What's happening I- I can't see anything!

I've gone Blind

Shut up Dudley!

Stop doing it swear or I'll hit you!

Dudley shut - ARGH!

Dudley you moron!

You're running right at it! Dudley stop! DUDLEY!

Expecto Patronum!

Don't put it away idiot boy!

What if there was more of them around?

Oh I'm gonna kill Mundungus Fletcher!

What?!

He left...

We've gotta get you back!

Oh! The trouble this is going to cause!

You're a witch?!

I'm a squib!

Oh! What's Dumbledore gonna say?

You know Dumbledore?

O' course I do!

YOU! Get your fat bottom of the ground!

Ooh! This is exactely what Dumbledore was afraid of!

Mundungus Fletcher I'm going to kill you!

Hello Figgy...

What happened to staying undercover?

I'll give undercover...

DEMENTORS, you lousy striking piece of f*ck!

Dementors... Here?

Yes! Here! You worthless pile of bat droppings!

And you were selling stolen cauldrons!

Get off! Get-off! You mad old bat!

Someone's gotta tell Dumbledore.

Yes! They have! And it'd better been you!

So you can go and tell him why you weren't here!

I'm going! I'm going!

I hope Dumbledore murders him. Come on quickly!

Oh my word, what a catastrophe!

Aah, it's no good crying over spilled potion I guess, but...

...the cat's among the pixies now.

So Dumbledore's been having me followed?

O' course!

Do you think they'd let you wander on your own...

...after what happened to that Diggory boy last year?

Good god, they told me you were intelligent

Now, get inside and stay there

It is hot ladies and gentlemen.

That's right, hot everywhere.

There is sweat and there is stifling.

And it's going to get even worse!

Temperatures in the mid 30's Celsius...

... that's the mid 90's fahrenheit to our american cousins

Tomorrow maybe even hitting a hundred!

So please remember to cover up and stay cool...

...drink lots of water and stay inside as much as possible.

Didikins? Is that you?

DUDDY! Vernon! Come quick!

What is it son?

Did Mrs. Pulkins give you something foreign for tea?

We're going to have to take him to the hospital!

Why are you all covered in dirt darling?

Have you been lying on the ground?

Hang on! You haven't been robbed have you?

Oh my god... Vernon, phone the police.

PHONE THE POLICE!

Sshh! He's trying to say something!

What is it Duddy? Tell Mummy.

Him...

Boy...

COME HERE!

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY SON?!!

What did he do to you Diddy?

Was it... you-know-what?

Did he use his... thing?

AHA! I knew it!

Happy are we now? You've finally done it!

You've finally driven him loopy!

Vernon! Don't say that!

Just look at him Petunia! Our boy has gone yumpy!

I've reached my limit! You hear?

This is the last I'm going to take of you and your nonsense!

Owls!

Dear Mr Potter,

The ministry has received intelligence...

...that a 6.23 this evening...

You performed a Patronus Charm...

...in the presence of a muggle.

As a clear violation of the decree...

...for the reasonable restriction of underage sorcery

You are hereby expelled...

...from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Hoping you are well,

Mafalda Hopkirk.

What the devil is this supposed to mean?

I've just been kicked out of school by the ministry of magic.

Ministry of Magic?!

People like you in government?!

Oh this explains everything! EVERYTHING!

No wonder this country is going to the dogs!

Why have you been expelled?

Because I did magic.

AHA! So you admit it! What did you do to my son?

It wasn't me. It was a couple of Dementors.

A couple of-

What's this codswallop?

De-men-tors.

Two of them.

And what the ruddy hell are Dementors?

They guard the wizard prison Azkaban.

How do you know that?!

I heard that... Awful boy telling her about them...

... Years ago.

If you mean my mum and dad...

Why don't you just use their names?

So they... er- They actually exist, do they? Uh-

Dementy-whatsits?

Yes!

But what are Dementoids?

What do they do?!

They suck all the happiness out of you.

And if they get the chance, they kiss you.

Kiss you?

KISS YOU?!!

That's what they call it when they suck the soul out of your mouth.

HIS SOUL? They didn't take- He still got his?

Of course they didn't take his soul.

You'd know if they had.

Fought them off did you son?

Gave 'em the old one-two, did you?

You can't give a Dementor the old one-two.

I want the truth about what happened tonight.

If it was Demenders that hurt Dudley,

How come you've been expelled?

You did you know what! Admit it!

I did the Patronus Charm to get rid of the Dementors

It's the only thing that works against them.

But what were Dementoids doing in Little Whinging?

Couldn't tell you. No idea.

It's you... It's got something to do with you... I know it.

Why else would they turn up here?

Why else would they be down that alleyway?

You've got to be the only...

The only-

The only you-know-what for miles!

The Demembers guard some weirdo prison don't they?

Yes.

Ohoho... So they were coming to arrest you.

That's it, isn't it boy? You're on the run from the law!

Of course not.

THEN WHY?!

He must have sent them.

What's that?! Who must have sent them?

Lord Voldemort.

Lord- Hang on! I've heard that name.

That was the one who-

-Murdered my parents, yes.

But he is gone, that giant bloke said so.

He's back.

He came back a month ago. I saw him.

Hang on, hang on!

This Lord Voldything is back you say?

Yes.

The one who murdered your parents?

Yes.

And now he's sending Dismembers after you?

Looks like it.

I see.

Well, that settles it then.

You can get out of this house boy.

What?!

You heard me. Out!

I should have done this years ago.

Owls treating this place like a rest home...

Puddings exploding, half the lounge being destroyed

Dudley's tail, Marge bobbing around the ceiling...

And the flying Ford Anglia!

Out!

OUT!

OOOUUUTTT!!

Urgh, You've had it! You're history!

You're not staying here if some loony's after you!

You're not endangering my wife and son.

And you're not bringing your trouble down on us!

If you're going the same way as your useless parents,

I've had it!

OUT!

You were all keen to leave half and hour ago...

I'm right behind you now.

Get out and never darken our doorstep again!

Why we ever kept you in the first place I'll never know.

Marge was right, it should have been the orphanage!

We were too damn soft for our own good!

Thought we could squash it out of you,

Thought we could turn you normal,

But you've been rotten from the beginning...

And I've had enough- Argh!

Oo0Oo0Wwls!

Don't touch it Petunia! It might be dangerous!

It's adressed to me...

It is adressed to me Vernon, look!

Mrs Petunia Dursley,

The Kitchen,

Number Four Privet Drive

Open it. It's a howler. I'll hear what it says anyway.

Let go of it Petunia!

Open it! Get it over with!

Oh it's going to burst into flames!

Vernon, the letter- AARGH!

"REMEMBER MY LAST PETUNIA!"

What is this?

I don't... Petunia?

Petunia dear... Petunia?

The boy...

The boy will have to stay, Vernon.