And I would think any adhesive product...

would have a warning right on the... on the tube.

I thought it was, uh, uh, lubricant.

Okay, I was trying to use lubricant.

Oh.

Oh.

Son, couldn't you have left that disgusting thing at home?

Excuse me?

Well, that kind of material is offensive to me.

[Sarcastically] Oh, well, we're sorry.

But you see, my son couldn't leave it at home...

because he's having a bit of a medical emergency.

That's right. Thanks, Dad.

Your opinion of his taste in video rentals, I'm afraid,

is, uh, not a priority, lady.

Dad... Okay? It's at the bottom of the totem pole.

Okay?

[Whispering] Thank you, Dad. Okay.

My son... is sitting here right now...

with his hand glued to his penis.

But that doesn't mean anything to you, does it?

Because you don't have a penis.

Or maybe you do! Dad...

Sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Ow!

You know, it just bugs me when-when-when people speak before they think.

You know, they speak...

How you doin', son? Ah. I've been better.

[Dad] Boy, that doesn't look too bad, Jim.

Good job, Doctor.

The swelling should subside in about eight or nine days.

The swelling should subside in about eight or nine days.

Eight or... Eight or nine...

Beach party's in a week. Nadia's coming.

Oh. Oh.

Doctor, my-my son has a party in seven days,

and there's a young lady coming...

that he's been waiting to...

he's been waiting to get with.

I'd tell your son to keep his pants on during that party.

Oh, yes, yes. Believe me, I will be doing that. It goes without saying.

But if his pants...

decide to come off during the party,

could he have full use of his,

um, penis?

Okay.

This should shave a couple of days off.

Oh, good.

Thank you, Doctor.

Jim,

that's good news.

This has been a good-news day, son. Here. Put this on.

Little chilly out there.