Hi, I'm Simone from Victoria, B.C., Canada. Let's talk about that.

♪ (theme music) ♪

Good Mythical Morning!

This episode is brought to you by the Rhett & Link Tweak Mythical Shoe.

Go to rhettandlink.com/store to get this and other merch.

All right, last week we talked about the best candy bar ever. We asked you to

decide and there was a very clear winner.

(speaking over a drumroll) Ladies and gentlemen, we tabulated your votes in

the comments and video responses. The winner of the best candy bar ever is...

Twix! I really love Twix. So please choose Twix.

- Bluetoaster2000 really loves Twix. - And so does the internet. Thank you for

voting. Now it's time to move on! We have new questions of best things ever.

Best animal ever. You know, this is something that, when you're a kid...

I remember, it's something you would ask somebody, like the second question

you'd ask somebody in second grade. What's your favorite color?

- (high voice) Blue. - (high voice) What's your favorite animal?

- Lion. - (childlike laugh)

- What do you wanna be when you grow up? - (normally) But this kind of thing,

- what's your favorite animal ever... - I wanna be a blue lion when I grow up.

- You never quit thinking about it. - It's like a Smurf lion.

It's something you say on a first date with somebody when you're 25.

It might not be the second question you ask, but you're just getting to know

somebody and you're like, "What's your favorite animal, baby?" Don't say "baby"

- on the first date. - (normally) Really? And a baby's not an

- animal, if you were making a suggestion. - No, I wasn't. I was just, you know,

acting like I was on a date. I don't remember. I have date night with my wife,

but it's been a long time since I've been on an actual date.

Just leave your wife out of this. It makes it more complicated.

Best animal ever. Here's what we're gonna do: we're gonna read out a list that is by

no means an exhaustive list of all the animals because we wanna limit the amount

of time to be quality time here on Good Mythical Morning. But we'll read off a

list and at least get you thinking, and then we are going to each tell you what

our favorite animal is and maybe give some arguments. So feel free in the

comments to go ahead at any point to say what is your favorite animal. What do you

- think is the best animal ever? - We're gonna figure out what the best

animal ever is, according to the internet.

You might wanna wait until you hear what we have to say. But first, let's whet our

appetites with a list which I have on my phone.

So how did you-- what went into this list?

Just off the top of my head. I went back to grade school and mined all of those

conversations that I had with my friends at the time where I always asked, "What's

your favorite color? What's the best animal ever? Blah blah blah."

- Yeah. - Rhino.

- Okay. - It's got matted hair for a horn.

That's a little-known fact. We talked about that, maybe in a past episode,

- maybe last year. Matted hair. - The panda.

Lots of people love pandas because it looks like you could cuddle up to 'em,

- but they will kill you. - The kitten. It's gotta be the most

- popular calendar animal. - It's a very popular internet animal,

- too, already. - Of course, the obvious dog.

- Is it kitten or cat? Either? - Either. Whatever. I'm saying kitten,

- Okay. - but you can comment cat if that's your

best animal ever. They're the same thing at different ages.

Really? I thought a kitten was a different species.

- A dog, 'cause it's whisperable. A lion. - Lion, that's your favorite animal when

you were a child, according to the fictitious person you were playing

- earlier. King of the jungle. - Tiger. You know, it's got stripes.

- It's awesome looking. - First of all, tiger is very popular.

Then there's the liger, which is a mix of the tiger and the lion, which I thought

- was fake. - I saw one in person.

- You saw one? - I saw one in person in Myrtle Beach.

Ligers hang out.... when were you in Myrtle Beach?

Just on the beach, and I ran like I've never run before. No, it was in a cage.

- They are huge. It's awesome. - There's something called

Double Hybridization, or something like that. When the lion and tiger mate, they

- create a much larger animal. - Who knew it was true? Napoleon Dynamite,

- you know? - I thought that was just a joke in

Napoleon Dynamite, but it's real animal.

But it's not either one of our best ever animals.

- It's not the best animal ever. - Ooh. Honey badger, for obvious reasons,

- is on the list. Did I say dolphin? - Lots of people like dolphins. Lots of

- girls like dolphins. - Right. Because... (nerdy voice) Well,

- you know it's a mammal. - (nerdy voice) The dolphin is, like, the

smartest ever. In fact, did you know that dolphins are smarter than people?

And pigs, I think, are also smarter than people. Pigs, let's just add them to the

list right now. Snakes. I'm just gonna open it wide open. 'Cause when you're a

kid, you don't say, "cobra," you just say "snake!"

- Snake in general. - Spider.

- Okay. - Butterfly.

(laughs) Butterfly. Who's favorite animal is a butterfly?

Well, girls are fond of the whole process of metamorphosis.

Well, they're fond of tattooing butterflies on themselves. At least

they were in the nineties.

- Really. - Every girl I've ever... I think 90% of

women that I got to know in the nineties had butterfly tattoos.

I was picturing grade school girls love butterflies, and all of a sudden you're

putting tattoos on 'em and it just started to get weird. It just totally threw me

off of my list, which ends with duck-billed platypus.

Unusual animal. Seems fictitious until you actually see one. I saw one in

Myrtle Beach one time. Did I tell you about that?

- Yeah. On the beach? Did you run? - Okay. Now let's--

- I've never seen one. - So that's kind of a list of

favorite animals around the world.

Blue-footed booby bird. I don't care, just name any one you want and put it in the

- comments. But why don't we at least-- - Let's make a case. We'll make a case.

We'll make some cases. You first. Me first?

- Okay, I'll go first. - You first.

I made some notes because I did not want to forget this, because I feel it to be

- important. - Okay.

The best animal ever, in my opinion, is the giraffe. This is not just because

I'm a very tall person and the giraffe happens to be the tallest terrestrial

animal and also the largest ruminant. That means it chews the cud.

- The cow is also a ruminant. - Yeah, but not very tall.

They have a great pattern, almost like a leopard-ish pattern. Very intimidating,

- very cool. - Okay, I'll give you that.

They have an awesome fighting technique that a lot of people don't know about.

- The technical term for it is necking. - What? I think that means something else.

- It means something else in high school. - And if it means that,

- don't show a video clip. - (Rhett) No, it means the males hit their

necks... it would be like if me and you got into a fight, and I was like, "C'mon,

- man, c'mon." And then I was like this. - (grunts)

- And then hit you in the neck with my neck. - Do they hold their chest area like this?

Because somehow I felt like this was how I was gonna be a giraffe.

- Well, that's not what they do. - I did this to make my neck seem longer.

I don't think a giraffe has ever touched themselves on the chest like that.

I think I could kill you with my goozle. Look how pointy it is.

- Yeah, you could. - Bam!

- You'd be a good giraffe. A good necker. - Do they have-- No. Do they have goozles?

I'm sure they do, they just don't stick out that much.

When they swallow, does it go from the bottom to the top of their neck?

- Like an elevator? - Like look at my big ol' goozle.

This isn't about your goozle. (laughs) Oh my goodness.

Listen, don't ever do that again. Don't ever swallow in my presence again.

I think I'm gonna try to harness my goozle to be a weapon.

They're cute, but they can kill you. Did you know that the giraffe can disembowel

- you? That means to remove your bowels. - If given a knife.

- No, with its hoof. - Never give a giraffe a knife if you

- wanna keep it as a pet. - The giraffe has a 20-inch tongue that

can clean its own nose. Can you imagine doing that?

I've imagined it a lot, yes, but I'm not gonna admit to it.

'Cause with the hooves, you can't pick your own boogers. It would get very ugly.

But he can just stick his 20-inch tongue up in his nose and eat his own boogers.

That gets points from me. Ah, makes a great pet.

- That's not true. Okay-- - Hold on!

- Hurry up. - And the last thing--

- I'm really anxious to get to mine. - Okay, go ahead.

Own it! If you've got one last thing, please. Don't let me limit you.

I think the giraffe is a great untapped transportation method. I think people

should be riding giraffes. I could make a saddle. I've got it envisioned. I could

- patent it. - It's funny, you're kind of making an

argument for my best animal ever, which is the miniature horse. Everything that a

horse gives you, but in a smaller package. Have you seen these things? They're like

- three feet tall. - (Rhett) Yeah, it's like a horse but it's

- smaller than a horse. - (Link) The cute quotient of these things

is amazing. Now, I know it's probably not cool for me to say, "Okay, the miniature

horse," but I'm saying just the cuteness overrides any attempt at coolness, and

I'm comfortable with that. I will be driving down the road and I will see

- a pasture full of miniature horses... - Really?

and I will just have to pull over and stare.

- Where is this, Myrtle Beach? - In Fuquay, right around the corner from

where I used to live, my house, there were some miniature horses there.

In a pasture? How come you didn't tell me about this?

Because I wanted to keep it all to myself. You know that miniature horses are one of

the leading causes of traffic incidences, because of onlooker rubbernecking.

- Really? - Yeah.

- That cannot be true. - Well, it's not. But they are so cute

that I'm certain that after running red lights and road rage, that it's right up

there with causing a lot of traffic problems.

But you can't even ride one. If I were to stand, I could straddle a miniature horse

and it wouldn't even touch me. You understand that?

And that is a reason in my favor. Vote for the miniature horse in the comments.

Or the giraffe, it's also my wife's favorite animal. When we go to the zoo,

we cannot leave until we see the giraffes. I don't argue with her.

Necking. You gotta see the giraffes necking.

So, submit your video responses, especially if you have an argument,

and we can feature it in a subsequent best ever episode.

We wanna know what the best animal ever is. Vote in the comments. Now let's spin

the wheel, and I'm gonna go find the nearest giraffe and I'm gonna ride it

- to your doorstep. - Let us know on Facebook and Twitter:

what should be a subsequent episode of "Best ever?" Hashtag #bestever.

Maybe we'll try that. I'm just making it up. What's the wheel say?

- Eat your own hair. - Gosh.

I remember when you came up with this one.

Where are the scissors? They're over there. All right. We knew we had scissors.

I don't know. I thought it would be good at the time. Let's get this over with.

Aw, this is so stupid. I'm gonna cut some ears off.

Just get some from back here, now. Not too much.

I'm not-- I'm just gonna do half an inch. Watch out, I've got it.

- Ah! - That much.

- Gosh, Rhett. - Hold on, now. Cut some of mine off.

Why did you come up with this? People, we're desperate for good ideas for the

Mythical Wheel. The Wheel of Mythicality. We shouldn't be eating our own hair.

- This is so lame. - There we go, people. We do this for you.

Three, two, one.

Thanks for watching. It's probably impossible to swallow. I'm gonna be

swallowing this stuff all day. At least I didn't have to swallow your hair.

- That's not going on the wheel. - (grunts)

- All right, I'm going for a swallow. - I just did it.

- Oh, gosh. - It's not that bad.

Can I change my vote to triceratops?

[Captioned by Caitrin: GMM Captioning Team]