5. A lot of you are probably wondering "why the fuck are you so late on this" and the

reason is fairly simple: I've been on vacation. I also needed some time after the season finale

to go back to it, binge watch the whole thing again so I can make a definitive review of

what I thought on the whole thing. Personally I hate reading reviews about movies and television

from these major websites because these people are paid to be pretentious dicks AND I can't

stand some Game of Thrones youtubers with their reviews because a lot of them have never

read the books and if they have they are too stuck up George's ass to enjoy the television

show. Despite what some of you may claim, I can enjoy aspects of the television show

while also giving a nod to the books.

So consider this the most brutally honest and fair review you'll see on YouTube. Promise

you that. Now...at the end of the episode 10 review I said i would be giving out some

gift cards to people who could give me the best Adolf Hitler is Jon Snow's father theory.

You guys know, I'm not a big fan of theories and I always enjoy taking shots at them. I've

read probably over a hundred of them and I chose 3 people who each got 50 dollar gift

cards to Amazon. This came out of my pocket and I always enjoy rewarding people who can

be as fucked up as I am.

I will be posting my favorite story up on my Facebook page along with a picture that

the person made through Photoshop. Quite funny actually, especially if you grew up in the

90's like I did and watched a lot of Cartoon Network. Now with that out of the way let's

get on to it.

First we'll start up in the North and I've got to say I'm impressed with how things turned

out for many characters. Some were a let down but a lot of them did shine and it was very

entertaining. I'm going to start with Sansa and the Boltons in Winterfell. I will say

that it was nice seeing that place again and it's a welcome change from King's Landing

but I also wish we got to see other places too.

Some of you may hate me for saying this but I really enjoyed House Bolton this season.

They've got to be my absolute favorite and I'll tell you why. Roose Bolton's actor does

an amazing job in his role that every time he was on screen you tensed up a bit because

he just brings so much gravitas to that character. Ramsay was also amazing. In terms of the character's

portrayal of course. One of the best things about the Star Wars prequel was Emporer Palpatine

and how much fun his actor had in playing that role and you can tell. I've got to say

the same thing about Iwan Rheon. Watching him play Ramsay was great. I read somewhere

that he originally auditioned to play Jon Snow but I really can't imagine him as anybody

else. Hes just that good.

I also want to point out that watching both Ramsay and Jon Snow this season...it really

does feel like they're both George Martin's version of Batman and the Joker...with Myranda

being Harley Quin. But as much as I enjoyed the Boltons...I don't really understand the

idea behind Sansa being married to Ramsay. It's way off course with what we're getting

in the books and I understand that they have to remove some things due to time constraints

but I Personally feel that Sansa is used as a punching bag way too often and shes never

really had much time to shine.

The main hype behind her character at the beginning of this season was that she was

this new person whose been taught a couple of things by Baelish himself....but then it

turns out that Sansa is right back where she was...being tortured and raped by a psycho.

It really doesn't make much sense to me why they would chose to pit her with Ramsay instead

of having her play the political game in the Vale with Petyr Baelish. The one thing I thought

they were going to do, and it's what I would have done. Is to have Sansa and Theon run

away and have Ramsay find out. He gets pissed and realizes that they probably ran away to

Castle Black where Jon is the Lord Commander. Ramsay then writes his infamous pink letter.

That would've been a great place to go but they didn't do that.

and see...the direction of some of the characters makes no sense to me and what they're doing

with them also makes no sense. Like Theon and Sansa jumping off the battlements when

they could've gone through another location in Winterfell. They do know the place better

than the Boltons. But yeah, Like I was saying... the Boltons were fantastic, especially Ramsay

but I was not a big fan of the direction they're taking Sansa. I feel as though her story could've

been more interesting had she stayed in the Vale with Petyr. Theon didn't get much to

do this season until the very end but i did enjoy his performance as well. Alfie Allen

is great as always and I'm a little disappointed we didn't get some other Greyjoys. But oh

well. Overall: The Boltons, very good. Sansa...meeeeh. Would like to see more Greyjoys. Moving on

to My man Stannis.

I'll say this now: Hes kind of a hard person to put on screen in terms of personality.

In a way hes kind of boring but there really isn't much too him. Unlike Jaime, who is full

of depth, Stannis is a very serious person and in some ways hes not too deep in terms

of character development. It's tough to put that kind of person on television but I still

feel like they could've given him more screen time and things to do. In season 3, for example

he barely did anything which I think is a wasted oppertunity and ever since the end

of season 2 the only thing hes really done is argue with Davos, make these little speeches

and complain. Some fans have said that Stannis' character has been completely ruined by the

showrunners and I wouldn't go that far but I would say that they've could've done a bit

more to make us like him.

This season I enjoyed his character in the beginning and in the end. His interactions

with Jon Snow and Samwell Tarly were great. His final stand at the battle outside Winterfell

was also amazing...it's just that when he leaves Castle Black there wasn't much there

for me in terms of enjoyment. Davos was....Davos. He really didn't do much for me to take note

of. Melisandre was there....I did enjoy her interactions with Jon Snow too, but I would've

loved if she got screen time with Sam. That would've been good considering he knows a

lot random stuff and they could've had some witty banter or something.

I will say that they did a shitty job when foreshadowing Shireen's demise. Hell, I was

able to call her death a mile away simply because there was an unusual amount of focus

on a character that has been around for quite some time. The scenes between her and Stannis

and Davos were good but they should've been done much early in season 3 or 4. My one complaint,

about Stannis and his group is that Melisandre's visions and powers are still so vague that

its frustrating when she doesn't go into detail. She wants to sacrifice Shireen because something

magical will happen...like what? Oh that's right....nobody thought to ask her. Hell I

don't think the showrunners even know much about her powers either. Shes been around

for 4 seasons now and all we know is that she loves fire and can give birth to shadow

assassins...I'm going to need a bit more detail on this please. Overall, Stannis went out

like a man. His scenes were fairly good, not as great as the Boltons in Winterfell but

I still enjoyed it. I would've liked more character development on him and some early

on interactions between him and his family to make his decision to burn his daughter

more of desperate and heartbreaking decision but what's done is done.

And before I move on to Jon Snow, let me just touch on Brienne for a moment here. I thought

her taking out Stannis was fucking bullshit but other than that I really did enjoy her

scenes this season. We got an awesome fight scene between her and some of the Vale Knights.

We got backstory and a bit of bonding with Podrick and we got to move her story a bit

further too. Many of you complained that we didn't see much of her but I liked that. Shes

not one of the top tier main characters of the show and I like that she didn't get too

much screen time that some other pointless characters seem to get. So yeah, Brienne was

alright by me this time around. Haven't been interested in her since season 3. Hopefully

they keep her scenes short and to the point.

Now on to Castle Black and Jon Shmow....so to sum it up: I thought it was good. I was

not expecting them to kill off Mance Rayder so quickly but I was okay with it and I do

understand why it was done. This is the television show going off in it's own direction which

is fine if it makes sense and, to me, it does.

The events at the wall with the election, stannis correcting people's grammar and the

tension between the night's watch and Jon's love for the wildlings was also good but some

of my favorite moments have to have been the conversation between Jon and maester Aemon

and the battle of hardhome. Kit Harrington's acting has improved a lot since season 1 and

everybody was on point. My one complaint, and I'm sure you all know it's coming....is

the abundance of Gilly and Sam. I won't even get into it because I've said it over 500

times already but get ready for more of that pointless bullshit because now that they've

cast Randyl Tarly for next season and you just know we'll be getting more of this fucking

guy. Once again, I don't hate Sam I just hate how much screen time he gets. Another thing

i just want to point out, it's not really a complaint more like a disappointing turn

of events. The two new characters we got at the Battle of Hardhome. That Thenn guy and

the wildling woman? I actually wanted to see more of them but then I realized: Oh ya...this

is Game of Thrones...SIGH.

I hate to run by this so quickly but the Night's Watch stuff was alright by me I found a lot

of it entertaining....I just wish they would've used Sansa escape as a way to shoe in the

pink letter. That would've been great but moving on to....hotter conditions over in

Dorne. Okay where to start with this shit.....what the fuck happened? You assholes had one job:

Don't fuck it up. Not that hard. A lot of it didn't make any sense, like Jaime and Bronn

sneaking into Dorne and the shitty pay off at the end. I thought they were going to do

a cool twist like: Doran was the one who sent the threat to Cersei or that Cersei made up

the threat to get Jaime out of King's Landing so she could do some political maneuvers but

nah. That would've made too much sense for this. What I honestly think happened is that

the showrunners Dave and Dan had some intern, probably the same guy who fucked up last year

by spoiling that it was the Night's King. They probably had that guy write the Dornish

scenes while they had sex with each other covered in mayonnaise because why the fuck

not. Pfft why the fuck not.

Okay so I'm not a writer but here is what I would've done had I been in the writing

room. This is my version of Dorne for season 5. Instead of sneaking into Dorne...how about

Jaime travels there the normal way to take the head of Gregor Clegane to the Martells.

Why? well during the trial by combat between him and Oberyn. The Mountain confessed to

multiple people, in front of a crowd, that he had killed Elia Martell and her children.

In front of people. Until that point it had been speculation that the mountain had done

it. In fact, in Season 4 Oberyn says that he heard rumors that the mountain killed Elia.

So with this confirmation, Jaime devises a plan to take his head to Doran, with Bronn

as a way to make peace with the Martells. To ensure they don't take Oberyn's death as

a reason to go to war or join Stannis. Okay so we have Jaime going to Dorne, with Bronn

and they are carrying the skull of the mountain. Arianne Martell, who is Doran's daughter,

she overhears her father talking that Jaime is coming and she rounds up the three sand

snakes to enact vengeance for her uncle. While Jaime travels around Dorne with Bronn, he

learns more about the Dornish culture, and as he learns about it we, the viewer, also

learns about it. On his way to the Water Gardens he is attacked by the snakes in a variety

of ways. For example, Jaime could be staying at an Inn in one of the towns and suddenly

dozens of scorpions drop down from the canopy onto him or as he gets out of the way in time.

You know, shit like that.

I feel as though this would've been better than the snakes trying to capture a little

girl and failing. Once Arianne's plans have been discovered then maybe we could've had

Doran lock her away and then reveal his plans....which may have something to do with the Targaryens.

I won't spoil the books but yeah. They could've done it but nope. we had to have shitty actresses

and terrible lines. "Bad Pussy" really? you guys must've been high or something because

that is fucking stupid. Also...I've said this multiple times and I'll say it again: Alexander

Sidig was a good Doran but he barely got any screen time. We had a Gilly and Sam sex scene

because..of course...but we couldn't have more of this important character for what

ever reason.

Yeaah I'm convinced that when the showrunners had to read this part in the books? they dozed

off. This amount of bad had to have been on purpose. There is no way someone thought this

was good. No way

But I'm being a negative nancy...there was one good part which was when that one girl

got her tities out....now if we just had her naked for the entire time? I probably would've

enjoyed it a lot more....just had her naked and give her no lines. Perfect. Overall Dorne

sucked. Moving on

The stuff going on in King's Landing, for a majority of it I was enjoying it. Especially

when Jonathan Pryce was on screen as the High Sparrow. He was very good and every time he

was on I paid attention. Lena Headey as always was great and I got to say this now: when