- It's all about Red Lobster

- My mom's bread is the best.

- Outback Steakhouse.

- It is?

- Yes it is, I love it so much, it's so good, and I see it.

- [Voiceover] Do you have any butter?

No? Not a little bit?

- Brown means healthier, right?

- That's so true.

- There's like, bread that you eat the inside out of.

- Mhm, this is it.

- This is good!

I don't discriminate, if you put bread in front of me

I will always eat it.

- It's like not dripping in any sort of oil

and I wish it was.

- I'll give it a five.

- Wow, you have high standards here.

- Bro, we're talking about bread.

- No, I don't like raisins in things

'cause you think it's chocolate and then it's not.

- That's true right.

- It's the rudest surprise.

- Oh, that one's really good.

- It has carrots in it, I hate carrots, but I like this.

- But you know what, maybe it's like healthy

but it's actually good healthy.

- This is a breakfast bread.

- You're like, Mom why are you giving me this

this is something Grandma would eat.

- I'm getting a little oil on my fingers.

- You could probably like

just put that underneath your eyes.

- It's a lip balm.

You get lip balm afterwards!

(both laugh)

- ♫ We know what this is, unlimited bread sticks ♫

- Woah, is it Olive Garden.

- It looks like it would be, like, somewhat good

but it just was disappointing.

- Mmm, makes me think of arguments with my parents.

We always argue at Olive Garden.

- I feel like I remember it being so much better.

- Flavor: nine, bread itself: three.

- This brown one looks good.

- You and the brown ones.

- Woo! It's my favorite bread in the world, baby!

This is, I believe, the Outback Steakhouse.

- Oh, okay.

- [Woman] Nope. - [Man] Nope.

- [Woman] Nope. - [Man] No.

- That was a pleasant surprise.

- I'd say that was absolutely a surprise.

- I think I know what to expect but, whoa this is heavy.

- Wow.

- Ooh, I like this.

- This is huge.

- Oh my God.

- The yeastiness on it, that sounds really gross--

- Girl, put it in your mouth.

- I was never a fan of this type of bread.

- I mean, Winnie the Pooh would love it.

- Oh my God.

- Oh my God, it's like a orgasm in your mouth.

- To me this is perfect.

- I'm so excited for this last one.

(sings)

- [Woman] Mhm? - [Man] Mhm.

- [Woman] Mhm?

- [Man] Mhm. (woman laughs)

(woman laughs) (man moans happily)

- I have to go on a run or something later.

- Back where I'm from used to sneak this into their purses.

- Everyone does.

- Oh, really? Okay, people would put 'em in their purses.

- Everyone does.

- Bread heaven.

- Breaven.

- It doesn't need butter.

- No, it has butter in it.

Look at the little pieces of butter.

- They like inject it.

- Mhm.

(imitates injecting butter)

(both moan happily)

- Red Lobster.

- Texas Roadhouse.

- This was my favorite for sure.

- Like, without butter, this was a surprise contender.

Kicked everybody else's ass

- It's so good.

- And it didn't need butter.

- Red Lobster.

- Red Lobster, don't eat the lobster.

Just eat these, that's all you need to eat.

- Red Lobster.

Yeah, let's pretend like we're all surprised.

(laughs)

- I just really love carbs a lot.

- I love carbs too.

- I just love them so much.

- No, me too, and it's like wrong, it's like wrong...

- You know what, it can't,

something that feels so right cannot be wrong.