This rug I have.

It really tied the room together. Uh--

You told brandt on the phone, he told me.

Where do I fit in?

Well, uh, they were--

They were looking for you, these 2 guys.

Uh--

I'll say it again.

You told brandt on the phone, he told me.

I know what happened. Yes? Yes?

Oh, so you know that

They were trying to piss on your rug?

Did I urinate on your rug?

You mean, did you personally come

And pee on my rug?

Hello! Do you speak english, son?

Parla usted ingles?

I'll ask you again. Did I urinate on your rug?

No, like I said, woo peed on my rug.

I just want to understand this, sir.

Every time a rug is micturated upon

In this fair city, I have to compensate the person--

Come on, man,

I'm not trying to scam anybody here.

Uh, you know, I--I was just--

You were just looking for a handout

Like every other...

Are you employed, mr. Lebowski?

Uh, wait, let me--

Let me explain something to you.

I am not mr. Lebowski. You're mr. Lebowski.

I'm the dude. So that's what you call me,

You know, uh, that or, uh, his dudeness,

Or, uh, duder, or, you know, uh, el duderino,

If you're not into the whole brevity thing.

Are you employed, sir?

Employed?

Ha ha.

You don't go out looking for a job

Dressed like that, do you, on a weekday?

Is this a-- what day is this?

Well, I do work, sir.

So if you don't mind--

No, I do mind.

Uh, the dude minds.

This will not stand, you know.

This aggression will not stand, man.

I mean, your wife owes--

My wife is not the issue here!

I hope that someday my wife

Will learn to live on her allowance,

Which is ample, but if she does not,

That is her problem, not mine,

Just as the rug is your problem,

Just as every bum's lot in life

Is his own responsibility,

Regardless of who he chooses to blame.

I didn't blame anyone for the loss of my legs.

Some chinaman took them from me in korea.

But I went out and achieved anyway.

Ha ha ha.

I cannot solve your problems, sir,

Only you can.

Oh, fuck it.

Oh, fuck it.

Yes, that's your answer.

That's your answer to everything.

Tattoo it on your forehead.

Your revolution is over, mr. Lebowski!

Condolences!

The bums lost!

My advice to you is to do what your parents did!

Get a job, sir!

The bums will always lose!

Do you hear me, lebowski?!

The bums will always lose!

How was your meeting, mr. Lebowski?

Ok. The old man told me to take any rug in the house.

Well, enjoy,

And perhaps we'll see you again sometime, dude.

Yeah, sure, uh, if I'm in the neighborhood,