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  • SORRY!

  • BRIAN! SLOW DOWN IN THE HALLWAY!

  • CAN'T, KI! GOTTA HUSTLE!

  • GOT A TELEGRAM FROM MY MOM.

  • BRIAN! WHAT'S THE HURRY?

  • MEETIN' MY MOM AT THE BUS STOP.

  • WE STILL ON FOR THAT THING TODAY?

  • YEP. DEFINITELY.

  • HEY, BRIAN, YOU STILL UP FOR THAT THING LATER?

  • OH, CRAP, THAT THING THAT WAS TODAY?

  • I'VE GOT ANOTHER THING WITH JENNY.

  • IT'S, UH, FPS STUFF.

  • OH.

  • I'LL DE-WAX THE BOOGIE BOARDS.

  • AWESOME. WE'LL HANG OUT TOMORROW, ALL RIGHT?

  • ( nervous muttering )

  • ALL RIGHT.

  • MY MOM'S COMING TO VISIT, AND I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM HER SINCE I LEFT FOR VGHS.

  • SOUNDS BORING.

  • WELL, IT'S NOT.

  • ( cat meows )

  • CHEETO?

  • DUDE! YOUR MOM'S A CAT!

  • YOUR MOM'S A CAT!

  • ( alarm rings )

  • PRACTICE. TIME FOR PRACTICE.

  • I THOUGHT WE WERE PRACTICING,

  • BUT IF YOU NEED MORE TIME TO REVIEW...

  • AHHH! ( chuckles )

  • BUT SERIOUSLY, I'M GONNA GO NOW,

  • AND THEN IN TWO AND A HALF MINUTES, YOU CAN--

  • YOU'RE KIND OF FREAKIN' OUT ABOUT THIS, AREN'T YOU?

  • FREAKING OUT? I'M NOT FREAKING OUT. YOU'RE FREAKING--

  • ( alarm rings )

  • SORRY. SAVES THE ALARM.

  • OKAY, I'M FREAKING OUT.

  • DUDE, CHILL. THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN.

  • YOU'RE RIGHT. I'M SORRY. I'M JUST...

  • YOUR MOM CAN'T FIND OUT ABOUT US.

  • I MEAN, NOBODY CAN FIND OUT ABOUT US,

  • AND THIS IS FOR REAL NOW.

  • I'M JUST-- I'M AFRAID I'M GONNA BLOW IT.

  • BRIAN, DISARM THE BOMB. IT'S GONNA BLOW.

  • ARE YOU SERIOUS, BRIAN?

  • YOU SUCK!

  • CAN'T DISARM A BOMB. I CAN DISARM A BOMB.

  • I CAN DISARM TWO BOMBS.

  • SORRY, GUYS.

  • MY BAD.

  • BOMB DISARMS ARE NEWB 101.

  • ANY PRO SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO IT BLINDFOLDED.

  • COACH, I-I SWEAR I CAN NORMALLY DO THIS.

  • ( class bell rings )

  • ON THAT UPLIFTING NOTE, THAT'S PRACTICE.

  • EVERYONE'S DISMISSED.

  • JENNY, STICK AROUND.

  • SO, ABOUT BRIAN, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

  • I THINK HE'S STILL IN THE ROOM, MOM.

  • NOT FOR LONG. I--

  • ( objects clatter )

  • ( chuckles ) SEE YA WHEN I SEE YA.

  • ( door opens, closes )

  • WELL, THAT WAS AWKWARD.

  • I WANT TO BENCH BRIAN TOMORROW.

  • OKAY.

  • WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME?

  • YOU'RE MY CAPTAIN. I WANT TO HEAR YOUR OPINION.

  • WELL, HE'S ONE OF THE STRONGEST PLAYERS IN OUR TEAM.

  • I WOULDN'T BENCH HIM JUST BECAUSE HE

  • COULDN'T DISARM ONE STUPID BOMB.

  • GUYS LIKE BRIAN ARE ALL TALENT AND NO DISCIPLINE.

  • IT SHOWS UP IN STUFF LIKE THIS.

  • ONE STUPID BOMB COULD MAKE US LOSE THE GAME TOMORROW.

  • YOU UNDERSTAND?

  • YEAH. IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'VE MADE UP YOUR MIND.

  • I'LL TELL YOU WHAT: YOU MAKE THE CALL.

  • BENCH HIM OR NOT. JUST LET ME KNOW BY GAME TIME.

  • WENDELL. RULE NUMBER FIVE. NO SODAS IN THE HALLWAY.

  • D'UH.

  • SORRY.

  • WENDELL!

  • NO THROWING TRASH IN THE HALLWAYS.

  • RULE NUMBER 38.

  • D'OH! I-- IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

  • UNFORTUNATELY, I CAUGHT YOU WITH SILLY STRING EARLIER.

  • THAT'S THREE INFRACTIONS.

  • YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

  • BATHROOM DUTY?

  • I'M SORRY, BUT RULES ARE RULES.

  • D'OOH!

  • ( comical groaning )

  • NUMBER ONE R.A.

  • SNAPS, KI.

  • REALLY. SNAPS.

  • THOUGH I THINK NUMBER TWO WOULD BE MORE APPROPRIATE!

  • - OH, MY GOSH. - SCOOPED THIS OFF YOUR FLOOR A COUPLE MINUTES AGO.

  • THIS ISN'T JUST SOME NORMAL POOP

  • LIKE ONE OF THE STUDENTS MIGHT LEAVE. OH, NO.

  • THIS CAME FROM AN ANIMAL.

  • IN FACT, I'M WILLING TO BET IT CAME FROM A...

  • ( laughing )

  • WHOO!

  • ( laughter )

  • ( taunting )

  • POOPIE MAN SHANE! POOPIE MAN SHANE!

  • ( continuing )

  • WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABOUT?

  • UGH.

  • NO PETS ALLOWED, KI.

  • SO WHEN I FIND THAT CAT, YOU CAN SAY GOODBYE TO NUMBER ONE,

  • 'CAUSE SHE'S COMING OVER TO MY PLACE.

  • WE'RE MOVING IN TOGETHER, ME AND ONE.

  • BIG STEP FOR OUR RELATIONSHIP.

  • MY FRIENDS SAY I'M ONE-WHIPPED, BUT I DON'T CARE,

  • 'CAUSE I'M READY TO COMMIT.

  • BECAUSE I...

  • LOVE...

  • NUMBER ONE.

  • 30-FOOT RANGE.

  • WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU, TED?

  • GOD! I'VE BEEN HOLDING THIS TRACK FOR HOURS.

  • WHEN DO I GET THE TOY CAR?

  • THIS IS NOT A TOY, TED.

  • THIS IS A CUSTOM OVERDRIFT USB SUPERCAR.

  • WHAT? I WANT ONE EVEN MORE NOW.

  • D.K., WHEN DO I GET ONE?

  • THEODORE, YOU'VE BEEN A DRIFTER FOR NARY A FORTMONTH.

  • EARNING A SUPERCAR IS NO SMALL CHALLENGE.

  • IT'S ONLY FOR SUPER SERIOUS RACERS.

  • SERIOUS?

  • I STOLE SODA FOR YOU GUYS. I BEAT THE DUCHESS.

  • AND I BUILT THIS BOSS TRACK.

  • AND ALL MY FRIENDS HAVE ONE, AND I WANT ONE. NOW.

  • VERY WELL, CHILD.

  • IF YOU WILL NOT HEED MY WARNING,

  • GO GRAB A BOOK FROM THE BOOKSHELF.

  • ( all gasping )

  • ( whispering ) OH, MY GOD.

  • ( mechanism whirring )

  • I KNOW YOU MISSED ME BECAUSE I MISSED YOU TOO, BUDDY.

  • BUT DAD'S GOTTA GO NOW TO PRACTICE HIS STUPID MINIGAME,

  • A MINIGAME THAT IF HE MESSES UP, WILL RUIN OUR ENTIRE SEASON.

  • ( growling )

  • HEARD THAT.

  • I MISSED THIS.

  • ALL RIGHT. WISH ME LUCK.

  • BRIAN, HAVE YOU SEEN A--

  • THAT. IS A CAT.

  • YOU HAVE A CAT IN YOUR ROOM.

  • OH, YEAH, THAT'S CHEETO, MY BEST BUD FROM HOME.

  • CHEETO, THIS IS KI. SHE'S AWESOME.

  • ALL RIGHT, WELL, I GOTTA GO.

  • YOU TWO HAVE FUN.

  • GOTTA PRACTICE.

  • UH...

  • BRIAN.

  • RULE NUMBER 35.

  • ARE THE CAT THAT'S BEEN POOPING ON MY FLOOR?

  • ( wet thud )

  • WHEW. YES, YOU ARE.

  • BEHOLD OVERDRIFT PURGATORIO.

  • DESIGNED BY THE ZEN DRIFTING MONKS

  • OF THE HOKKAIDO REGION,

  • IT REMAINS THE MOST EXTREME OVERDRIFT GAME EVER CONCEIVED.

  • SHOULD A PLAYER BE BRAVE ENOUGH,

  • SKILLED ENOUGH,

  • CRAZY ENOUGH

  • TO TAME ONE OF THE WILD SUPERCARS WITHIN,

  • PURGATORIO SHALL GRANT HIM A JEWEL

  • FIT FOR A KING!

  • ALAS...

  • IN THEIR MAD DREAMS TO CONSTRUCT THE ULTIMATE RACER,

  • THE DRIFT MONKS INSTALLED A FEATURE WAY TOO HARDCORE

  • FOR THE CASUAL GAMER.

  • YOU SEE, WHEN YOU ENTER PURGATORIO,

  • YOU CANNOT LEAVE UNTIL YOU WIN.

  • THEY SAY ONE KID GOT TRAPPED IN THERE FOR THREE DAYS.

  • I HEARD ANOTHER KID PEED HIS PANTS.

  • I HEARD A KID DIED.

  • ALL THOSE LEGENDS ARE BOTH TRUE AND UNTRUE,

  • EXCEPT FOR THE ONE WHERE THE KID DIED.

  • THAT'S WHY THEY BANNED THE GAME

  • AND PURGATORIO VANISHED INTO ANTIQUITY,

  • UNTIL I FOUND A COPY... ON EBAY.

  • SO, THEODORE, NOW THAT YOU'VE HEARD THE TALE,

  • I HAVE ONLY ONE QUESTION:

  • ( car alarm chirps )

  • ( whooshing sound )

  • DID YOU GO TO THE BATHROOM FIRST?

  • I. CAN. HOLD IT.

  • WE SHALL SEE, TED.

  • WE SHALL SEE.

  • ( keys clacking )

  • ( sighs )

  • COME ON, YOU'VE DONE THIS A THOUSAND TIMES.

  • ( idle noises )

  • AH. HI, BUDDY!

  • ALL RIGHT. NO MORE SCREWING AROUND.

  • GAH!

  • ( cellphone buzzes )

  • ( sighs ) I CAN DO THIS.

  • ( engine roars )

  • ( tires squeal )

  • DANG IT!

  • HE'S BEEN IN THERE FOR HOURS, D.K.

  • HE'S NOT READY FOR THIS.

  • WERE YOU READY, TRIXI? WERE ANY OF US?

  • CRAP, I'VE REALLY GOTTA PEE.

  • ( horn honking )

  • ALL RIGHT, OKAY.

  • NO. IT CAN'T BE.

  • ( whispering ) I THOUGHT THEY PATCHED HER OUT.

  • PATCHED HER OUT?

  • THAT CAR'S NO BUG, CHILD.

  • THEN WHAT IS SHE?

  • A CRUEL JOKE PROGRAMMED BY THE MONKS

  • AT THE HEIGHT OF THEIR MADNESS.

  • LET HER PASS, TED.

  • HEED NOT HER SIREN'S CALL.

  • SWEET STRIPES.

  • NO WAY YOU'RE GETTING PAST ME WITHOUT A RACE, BUDDY.

  • ( blows whistle )

  • NOW POOP.

  • GOOD BOY.

  • HELLO, UM, DO YOU WANT ME TO DO THE GIRLS' BATHROOM TOO,

  • OR JUST...

  • HO, IS... IS THAT A CAT?

  • YES, UH, YES IT IS... A CAT.

  • WHY WOULD YOU HAVE A CAT? YOU'RE BREAKING, UH, RULE... YOU'RE BREAKING RULE 35.

  • WELL, YOU SEE, THAT'S NOT ENTIRELY TRUE.

  • I AM THE R.A., AND I JUST TRAINED...

  • UH-UH. NO, NO. 'CAUSE YOU--

  • YOU SAID RULES ARE RULES.

  • THAT'S WHAT YOU-- THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID.

  • - YOU SAID RULES ARE RULES. - WENDELL, CONTROL YOUR BREATHING.

  • NO, NO! YOU'RE BREAKING THE RULES, KI.

  • I'M NOT--

  • I'M NOT GONNA LISTEN TO ANYTHING YOU SAY ANYMORE, OKAY?

  • OH, MY GOD.

  • EVERYONE! EVERYONE!

  • WENDELL!

  • EVERYONE! EVERYONE! EVERYONE!

  • KI IS HOUSING A CAT. SHE'S BREAKING THE RULES!

  • EVERYBODY BACK INSIDE.

  • NO! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!

  • WENDELL, CAN I SEE YOU IN TED'S--?

  • THEY'RE JUST A LIE. NOTHING IS REAL.

  • ALL AUTHORITY-- AUTHORITY IS FINISHED!

  • SILLY STRING!

  • ( rapturous screaming )

  • Ki: OH, MY--! NO! NO!

  • OH, NO!

  • ( rapid pinging )

  • ( pinging sound )

  • ( distorted audio )

  • ( pinging sound )

  • ( distorted audio )

  • Jenny: BRIAN!

  • HEY, HOW'S IT GOING?

  • ALL FRESHED UP?

  • YEAH, YEAH, GOOD TO GO.

  • GOOD. WELL, IN THAT CASE, WANNA GO?

  • UH...

  • YOU KNOW, ACTUALLY, I THINK I MAY JUST STAY

  • AND PRACTICE A LITTLE MORE.

  • REALLY? YOU'RE GOOD, THOUGH, RIGHT?

  • LIKE, FOR TOMORROW, YOU'VE GOT THE WHOLE BOMB THING DOWN?

  • YEAH, YEAH. NO. ALL THE WAY DOWN.

  • 'CAUSE BRIAN, IF YOU DON'T, I REALLY NEED TO