-Help!

Somebody help me!

That-- You saved me.

-Vlad.

What's put that smile on your face?

-You shouldn't creep up on people like that.

BERTRAND: What's the problem?

-Nothing.

We training or what?

ERIN (VOICEOVER): If I could wipe out the bloodline that

infected you, the curse will be lifted.

RYAN (VOICEOVER): I was bitten.

We both know what that means.

And when the time comes, you know what has to be done.

-I told you.

I'm going to kill you.

If I can wipe out the bloodline that infected you,

the curse will be lifted.

RYAN (VOICEOVER): Did you do it?

Did you stake Ingrid?

-She's a monster.

She's not human.

I couldn't.

I'm so sorry.

RYAN (VOICEOVER): Think of me as one of them now.

I'm too dangerous to be around.

-I'll save you, I promise.

-I'll catch you up.

[knock on door]

VLAD: Can I come in?

What's wrong?

Is it this place?

I know it's not exactly homely.

We can customize your coffin, if that would help.

-It wouldn't.

-Then what is it?

You can talk to me.

-No, I can't.

Leave me alone.

Please.

[knock on door]

Come in.

What's that?

-Mr. Cuddles the Second.

-The Second?

-Mr. Cuddles the First had an unfortunate accident.

-Vladimir!

[scream]

What is this thing?

-That thing?

Never seen it before in my life.

Oh, Mr. Cuddles!

-Oh, so it's Mr. Cuddles now, is it?

-I don't normally sleep with him, obviously.

-Oh, was poor little Vladdie Waddie lonely?

You're supposed to be my son and heir.

-Yeah, well, I never chose to be, did I?

-Rise.

Now.

-Take it out on the monkey, why don't you?

Lock up your teddies, they'll be scared of you now.

-Oh, it was a million years ago.

-A million years?

-10.

5.

4.

-A vampire with a teddy bear?

-Come along, Renfield.

Work to be done.

Not you, you little furball.

Go, go, go.

Go to Ingrid.

Go on.

Shoo.

Shoo.

-Why do I have to look after him?

-He's your half-brother.

-From a mother I want nothing to do with.

-You wanted to take him in.

-So Vlad's training means he's exempt, and because I'm female,

I get to be the dog-minder.

-Exactly-- oh, you're being sarcastic.

-I hadn't even started yet.

-Renfield.

-He's pretty much the only thing I managed to save from Stokley.

-You miss that place, don't you?

-I had a life there.

I had friends.

Well, one friend.

-Another vampire?

-No.

He was normal.

-What are you doing?

-Aren't you going to bite me?

-Bite you?

Why would I want to bite you?

-You can if you want.

-No.

-So I'm not good enough because I'm not a vampire.

Checkmate.

Who's the loser?

Who's the loser?

Go, loser.

Go, loser.

Go, loser.

-Just because you aren't a vampire, doesn't mean you

can't be evil.

-Thanks, Vlad.

You're my best mate, you know that, don't you?

-Robin, I'm your only mate.

-Exactly.

-OK.

He wasn't normal, but I still miss him.

-Why did you leave?

-After what Ingrid did, we had no choice.

-Is he-- is he dead?

-I don't know.

And I don't care.

-He's your brother.

You must help him.

-I'll decide what I must do.

From now on, you will call me Countess Dracula.

-If we didn't escape when we did, she woud've kill us.

-Your sister wrecked your life.

-It's kind of her thing.

-But you saved her from the slayers and let her move in.

-She's my sister.

Do you have any brothers or sisters?

-A brother.

-Does he know--

-Yeah, he-- he didn't take it very well.

-Nobody ever does.

-The idea of turning into a vampire-- he

couldn't handle it.

It drove us apart.

-Where is he now?

-I don't know.

He won't tell me.

-It's probably for the best for both of you.

He'll reject you.

Maybe even try to slay you.

He's better off remembering you as you were.

-So that's it?

Once you're a vampire, you're cut off

from your friends and family for-- forever?

For eternity?

-You're not alone.

You've got me.

I mean, us.

-What's she doing here?

-I've asked Erin to stay with us.

-This half-fang-- why?

-She saved Ingrid's life.

-You're really not selling her.

-She's staying whether you like it or not.

-My castle, my rules.

-To the left.

Left, not backwards, you imbecile.

-Yes, yes, sir.

-Mr. Count.

What are you doing?

-Oh, deciding where my statue should stand.

-A statute?

A statue of you?

-Mm.

-How big is this thing going to be?

-Well, I thought so high?

I'm not sure if I'd look best cast from bronze,

or chiseled from stone.

What do you think?

-I think we need school computers.

-We're not wasting money on some passing fad.

This statue will be a timeless masterpiece.

Oh, Wolfie, leave that.

Bad boy.

I think he likes you.

-How old is he?

-In human or dog years?

-You're not fooling anybody.

-What do you mean?

-Beneath that stern exterior, you're just a big softy.

Not many men would take in their ex's son.

You must have a good heart.

-And so do you.

65 strong, healthy beats per minute.

68.

-Well, I'll leave you to your timeless masterpiece.

-The cheeckbones should be more defined, the jaw squarer.

[squeaking]

Make it more imposing.

[squeaking]

I want this statue to strike fear

into the hearts of-- Wolfie!

Will you stop that?

[squeak]

-Sorry, Uncle Count.

-Don't call me that.

I'm not your uncle.

Enough!

Get out of my sight, you heinous abberation of nature.

-Oh, thank you.

-No, no, not you.

The other one.

I'm sending you back to your mother.

-Please let me stay.

-You've tried my patience enough.

I'm going to fill in your travel permit,

then you'll be out of my life for good.

-Where do you keep the matches?

Does it hurt?

-What?

Oh, the fire thing.

No.

When your fangs first come through,

well, you don't want to know about that.

-I do.

I need to be prepared.

They'll think I'm a newly bitten half-fang.

-You can't live with vampires.

You're a vegetarian.

-And a trained slayer.

-With a pulse.

-I've been using stasis spray, remember?

It blocks out my heartbeat, and my breathing, and my scent.

How bad is the change, really?

-It's OK.

Well, that's the worst of it.

But vampire life's not all bad.

The speed thing's pretty cool.

You can hypnotize people.

-Does it work on everyone?

-You can't hypnotize people you're in love with,

but otherwise, yeah.

-Even other vampires?

-I'll show you how it's done.

You make eye contact, and then you draw them in, freezing them

with your gaze, like a rabbit caught in the headlights.

And then before you know it, they're--

-They're what?

Dad?

-You've hypnotized him.

-No way.

-You have.

Watch this.

Hello.

My name's Count Dracula-la-lah!

-How did I do that?

ROBIN: You are now a true vampire.

Ha ha ha!

-Can you stop that?

It's freaking me out.

Vampire's are tough, but breathers are easy.

-Have you ever used your powers to get a girl?

-It's actually me who lives in a castle.

But I'm sure you still want to go out with Robin, so--

-Delila.

-Hi, Robin.

You're dumped.

And yes, Vlad.

I would love to go to the ball with you.

See you.

-That would be wrong.

-So it turns out Delila didn't fancy either of us.

-Not yet, she doesn't.

-Vlad.

Let's do it.

-Hey, boys.

-Hey.

[screaming]

-So, so wrong.

-When will I start wanting to-- you know.

-Drink blood.

Not 'til you've fully changed.

-How long have I got?

-With some people, the turn happens almost straight away.

With other people, their blood fights it,

and it could take months.

-Do some people never change?

-No.

It happens eventually.

Once you're bitten, there's no going back.

-I heard if you wipe out the clan of the vampire who

infected you, you can be cured.

-Did you stake Ingrid?

-I couldn't.

I'm so sorry.

Is that true?