字幕表 動画を再生する 英語字幕をプリント [APPLAUSE] ANNOUNCER: It's time for "What Happens Next?" Where three competitors watch incredible videos and attempt to guess what happens next. Today's contestants are Chris, Mike, and Jefferson from IFC's "The Birthday Boys." As always, today's lucky winner will receive whatever's inside the mystery box. Now let's play "What Happens Next?" [CHEERING AND APPLAUDING] MIKE: Let's do this! -[SPEAKING GERMAN] AUDIENCE: What happens next? MIKE: I feel like this kid is going to pull this tablecloth or something. CHRIS: I'm going to predict that there's going to be a ghost. JEFFERSON: I think someone's going to come through this ominous window. [LAUGHTER] MIKE: We were wrong. The light-haired boy died. Yes. -First you put it on here. Then you press the locket button. Get back and then it will fly up in just a second. AUDIENCE: What happens next? JEFFERSON: I'm seeing a grown person back here and a fire. MIKE: And a fire, yeah. I feel like the doll is going to shoot off into the fire. JEFFERSON: I think it's that that little fairy is gonna go right in that little girl's face. CHRIS: Well, I have a prediction. This is an "America's Funniest Home Video's" video, so it's definitely going to be a jackalope. -See? And then-- No! MIKE: I thought that it was going to be really sad for that girl, but it was too funny to be really sad. JEFFERSON: It happened perfectly slowly. It's like ah ah ah, and into the fire. MIKE: Yes. -These two crazy kids have been fighting all day. I'm really getting tired and sick of 'em. So I suggested they have a fight. PANEL: (GROANING) Oh boy. MIKE: Couple of bros. AUDIENCE: What happens next? JEFFERSON: I don't think they would show this to us unless something went like wrong from the get go, though. I don't think we're going to see a fight that like is just a fight. Or-- MIKE: Is something gonna happen with this guy? He's stepping in as a referee. CHRIS: A couple options here. I see a glass window behind them. So someone might go through that. MIKE: My guess is that they go through that glass window. I'm with you. I think someone's gonna tackle the other guy through the window. PANEL: Oh! Of course! MIKE: I can't believe we didn't guess someone would get hit in the balls. It's like a guarantee. PANEL: Oh! That's fair. MIKE:So far they went by the McDonald's, which makes me sad already. Oh, there's going to just be like a mud slide or something. I don't wanna see this. AUDIENCE: What happens next? MIKE: So this August 31, 2013 at 4:19 PM in China. JEFFERSON: 4:19? MIKE: Oh man. It's a minute away. It's a second away from 4:20. And they're all right by McDonald's. They drove by. JEFFERSON: I think make a U-turn and go right back into that McDonald's. MIKE: No. In reality, I think that there's going to be some sort of giant wave that destroys them or something. CHRIS: I think one, a car is just going to disappear into a big sinkhole. MIKE: Oh wow. OK. JEFFERSON: Which car? CHRIS: That would be three points. MIKE: I think the white one, the white car is going down. CHRIS: Oh here we go. PANEL: Oh no! Oh no. What happened? Oh my god! That's crazy. CHRIS: There are probably some damn kids smoking weed up on that hillside that triggered the landslide. MIKE: They probably, yeah. They probably knocked the rock. They kicked it. Their bong rolled into the rock. JEFFERSON: They're like, this is kicks, man. Bweek! And it hit the rock. And then uh-- MIKE: Yes. JEFFERSON: Oh nice. MIKE: Yes. -Your heart beats hard like a big love drum, calling for your special one. -So we're patient, because just maybe-- - --you're special one will come! -He's made for her. -And she's made for him. -That's the way it's always been. -And it's perfect. -And it's pure. AUDIENCE: What happens next? CHRIS: I think it's going to take a turn, either violent or sexual. MIKE: There's going to be some sort of weird sexual stuff going on, for sure. JEFFERSON: Yeah. There will be some portrayal of an incorrect love that is going to end badly. MIKE: What if nothing weird happens, and then this was just all a thing to set up how [BLEEP] weird the three of us are. So let's find out. Let's find out if we're the freaks. -And now we all worship our king, our king, our king. His name is Malcolm. -He is the king of love. -We must feed him. -We must feed him gravel. CHRIS: Oh my god. MIKE: Oh, what the [BLEEP]? JEFFERSON: Nice. MIKE: Sorry Chris. Nice try. You can't just put a blanket thing out there and guess sex or death. -[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH] AUDIENCE: What happens next? MIKE: Oh. OK. There's going to be a very strange way to like care for your child. JEFFERSON: She was like dancing with her, or shaking. CHRIS: I predict it's just going to be some sort of a baby treadmill. That they are in a harness and then they crawl on the treadmill. JEFFERSON: Maybe they are harvesting baby urine for health. MIKE: Yes, yes. I think that's right. PANEL: Ooh! No! I was right! This is exactly what I was talking about! Oh noo! Well this is insane. That is crazy. Baby yoga. Is it baby yoga? Ah! CHRIS: It's not yoga. I've done yoga. You don't get thrown around by some jackass. MALE SPEAKER: One point taken from [INAUDIBLE]. MIKE: Yes. ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen! Today's winner is-- AUDIENCE: What happens next? CHRIS: Watching ourselves watching the-- MIKE: All right, I don't get it. What? AUDIENCE: What happens next? JEFFERSON: Come on! MIKE: What the [BLEEP] is going on? CHRIS: All right. [BLEEP] you guys. I'm out of here. AUDIENCE: What happens next? JEFFERSON: Yeah! CHRIS: Good show! JEFFERSON: We did it! CHRIS: Congrats, guys! Congrats! JEFFERSON: Yeah. Congrats. MIKE: Not so fast guys. We couldn't have done all this great work without the incomparable talents of Lizzie and Miles. MIKE: Let's have three huzzahs for Lizzie and Miles. JEFFERSON: Lizzie and Miles! PANEL: Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah! LIZZIE AND MILES: Huzzah! Huzzah! MILES: So you guys are in, right? CHRIS: In for what? JEFFERSON: In that? MIKE: What you guys just pitched was barely half of an idea. It was no jokes, there was no through line. I mean there's just nothing there. CHRIS: Have you guys ever done this before? Or-- MIKE: So I mean, I guess how do we even respond to, are we in? I uh-- Of course we're in! JEFFERSON: Yeah! C'mon! It's great stuff! MIKE: We love it! Let's do it! JEFFERSON: You guys done this before? Is this your first time? What happens? It's like a bunch of arrows in the formulas. MIKE: You guys wrote formulas on the board. Uh. CHRIS: Maybe we could just like improv it or something.