*CRACK*

*CRACK*

*CRACK*

*Sounds of Lionheart being abused*

Tigerclaw: Ehhh That's enough of that and we need to give them a tour of our territory right Lionheart?

I'm Lionheart

Tigerclaw: Alright, let's go

Tigerclaw: This is the snakerocks its many rocks leave lots of places for deadly poisonous snakes to live

Firepaw: Don't you mean venomous?

No

Tigerclaw: and this is the Thunder path on the other side of Shadowclan's territory

Graypaw: Shadowclan's one of the other three clans that live in the forest

Firepaw: Why do you call the road a thunderpath?

Graypaw: Shit if I know

Tigerclaw: This is sacrifice valley

Tigerclaw:And this is the great Sycamore

Tigerclaw: And to your right is Thunderclan camp, wow amazing!

I'm so tired

Firepaw: What's happening? Dustpaw: We're going to the gathering! Sandpaw: You're not Firepaw: what's a gathering?

Dustpaw: Somewhere where stupid tomatoes aren't allowed. Sandpaw: somewhere we turn tomatoes into ketchup, so you like better step off

Dustpelt: Yeah

Dustpaw: Step off you t-tomato. Sandpaw: shut up Dustpaw. Dustpaw: sorry Graypaw: Why I oughta. Look Firepaw!

I got an extra obese mouse. Just like you like let's eat

Graypaw: How you adaptin'? Firepaw: fine fine, there's a lot more cats then I thought there were were they indoctrinated too?

Graypaw: Nah, clanborn and made. Do you know all their names yet? Firepaw: No not yet. Graypaw: Well allow me to show you

Over there's Willowpelt doctors can't tell what's wrong with her eyes and that's Darkstripe. He's the biggest ass-shit in the clan

Firepaw: Oh. Graypaw: and that's Spottedleaf. She's the medicine cat she heals the clan and has a special connection to Starclan and all that

Hmm

Alright! We're leaving, I'm Lionheart!

*Frustrated growl*

Graypaw: Hiya, Firepaw!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Hi Graypaw

What are you doing? Graypaw: me and Ravenpaw are bathing in the blood of our prey and pretending it's the blood of our enemies!

Ravenpaw: It's against the warrior code.

Graypaw: Here, try it!

Graypaw: Shit ThunderClan, we gotta wash this off

Wait!

Wait a minute you're not Thunderclan

Yellowfang: Why are you covered in blood kid? Firepaw: that's none of your business

Why are you in our territory? Yellowfang: shut up kid and go give me some smokes before I cover you in more blood except

It's gonna be your own

No

Okay

All right

Here's your smokes now get out of our territ- Bluestar: Firepaw! what did I tell you about talking to homeless people

Why are you covered in blood

Um.. Um Uhh Umm

Wait a minute they're not a homeless person they're ShadowClan even worse Bluestar: this is Shadowclan's medicine cat Yellowfang!

What are you doing on our territory? Yellowfang: non suspicious activities

Bluestar: Really?

Yellowfang: Yes. Bluestar: whatever, let's go back to camp and find out what to do with them both of them

gulp

All cats old enough to catch their own prey gather here for a clan meeting

Okay first of all Yellowfang what are you really doing here? Yellowfang: ehh

I was exiled from Shadowclan after Brokenstar drove out Windclan he said my smoking was to booze wise

Whitestorm: That does sound like something Brokenstar would do Bluestar: Brokenstar drove out Windclan?

hmmm

Okay Firepaw. Why are you covered in Mouse blood? You know disrespecting your prey is against the warrior code I

I Ran into a door

Made of mice. Bluestar: don't lie to me. I know you're bathing in the blood of your prey, pretending

It's the blood of your enemies. I can see it all over your sweet handsome, baby face

It's clear our hands off training hasn't been working out for you so for now on I'll be your mentor Tigerclaw: what, bluestar

That's stupid. He did something bad. He shouldn't be your apprentice. He should be punished. Bluestar: Don't worry your broad-shouldered brown tabby head

I will punish him. Yellowfang will be able to stay in camp for now

But Firepaw has to take care of her. Firepaw: what but she threatened me

Yellowfang: I wouldn't have done it if you weren't such a wussy. Whitestorm: It's true. He is kind of a wussy

Bluestar: Okay, then it's settled Yellowfang will stay and Firepaw needs to take care of her meeting dismissed

Yellowfang: Eah, this moss bed is too stiff

honk honk

honk honk

Firepaw: Need anything else? Yellowfang: yeah, there's too many old people in here Firepaw: well, This is the elder's den Yellowfang

I'm having a stroke

Firepaw: Okay, do you like need any healing herbs or anything something that requires me not to be in this room anymore. Yellowfang: I want crack.

I'm going to get some herbs from Spottedleaf, no drugs. I'll be right back.

Oh, God. Sandpaw: we heard that you have to take care of Yellowfang. Well. I'm going with my mentor Whitestorm to mark borders

And my mentor Darkstripe is letting me stay at camp while he's out on patrol

Firepaw: What's your point? Sandpaw: point is nobody in camp likes you. Dustpaw: I wish my mentor loved me. Sandpaw: Shut up Dustpaw.

Sandpaw: We're all waiting for you to run back to your stupid kittypet house any minute now

Everyone knows you're squishy. You can't be a warrior. Firepaw: You know what just for that I'm gonna be a warrior harder

Ow...

Spottedleaf?

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Oh, it's just you Firepaw. What can I do for you? ?

Do you have any especially... snakey herbs?

What do you mean?

Firepaw: Herbs with ...snakes in them? Spottedleaf: yes, but you can't have them

Firepaw: Fine I'll have some normal herbs, then. Spottedleaf: don't get your lettuce in a twist

I put some razor blades in them that'll teach old yellowfang a lesson about being a sour pussy

Thanks, Spottedleaf. Spottedleaf: You're welcome

Graystripe: Hiya Firepaw! we were out hunting with our mentors! Ravenpaw: Tigerclaw told me my mouse is sick

It's green

(sobbing) He's very sensitive about it

Yellowfang: Hey firepaw, look at me!

(sigh), here's your herbs.

Nom

What are you looking at kid never seen a lady eat herbs before?

Nom

No, no I have not.

(Surprised noise)

Rah!

Sorry accidents happen when there's kittens around me Firepaw: mm-hmm. I can see that

Firepaw, Firepaw! Look at me!

Nom

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