"How come nobody knew about cat hell before?" asks Darkstripe.

"Go away Darkstripe." responds Tigerstar.

Stormfur and Brook are in Thunderclan.

They're just visiting though and they don't have anything worthwhile to say either!

Then Crowfeather and Leafpool break up and cry in front of everyone.

The cats go to help Sorreltail who shows them her new kits!

Cinderpelt, Sorreltail, Deadkit, and Soon-to-be-deadkit!

"Sorreltail, I don't think that's actually Cinderpelt..." Responds Brambleclaw.

She doesn't answer.

Then Midnight says something that implies Stormfur is in any way important and tumbles outta there.

And in this book Brambleclaw has suddenly forgotten that he hates Squirrelflight.

In fact, Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight hook up randomly in the first fourty pages of this book!

Without any warning, after he treated her like garbage, for the last two books.

This confuses Ashfur who has had a positive relationship with Squirrelflight for the last two books.

Leafpool considers telling her sister that Brambleclaw has been taking evil lessons from his father but decides not to because it's not her place to "meddle with relationships".

Birchpaw is all scarred up because badgers have destroyed his butt.

Leafpool is sad about not being as close to Sorreltail now that she's got a boyfriend and four kids.

God tells Leafpool that he's happy that Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw hooked up.

Then Spottedleaf floats down from cat heaven for no real reason and Leafpool calls her out for telling her to elope.

"No! I.. uh... I told you to elope with-uh- your job! Uh huh ha ha ha."

She demands to see Cinderpelt but she can't see Cinderpelt because Starclan has shoved her spirit unwillingly into a childs body.

Spiderleg finds a fox trap and everybody kills a stick in it for fun.

Firestar tells Leafpool in secret that Brambleclaw's face still freaks him out.

She doesn't tell him about her dream either, but for no real reason at all this time.

Squirrelflight asks Leafpool if she's making the right choice by picking Brambleclaw and Leafpool says yes, because she's apparently forgotten about that meddling in relationships thing.

Tigerstar takes Bramblestar to [Generic arcade here] and tells him to manipulate children!

"Is that what a good warrior would do?" Asks Brambleclaw.

"Yes!" says Tigerstar, ordering a pizza.

Then Tigerstar beats him up and he wakes up covered in blood.

"What the heck?" Says Squirrelflight

He doesn't tell her because telling people things doesn't happen in warrior cats.

Berrykit loses his tail to a fox trap which worries Brambleclaw mostly just because he wants him to be his apprentice.

Barkface floats down to make Leafpool tell someone anything.

But Leafpool doesn't talk to people, THAT WOULD MAKE HER CHAPTERS IN ANY WAY INTERESTING.

Also, he tells Leafpool when he could have told Mothwings apprentice, Willowpaw, so, uhhhhhhhh

Shadowclan really sneakily moves the border up when Thunderclan isn't looking.

Then they get the heck beat out out of them.

Everyone but Mousefur has forgotten this is a series about cats who go to war.

At the gathering Hawkfrost makes Mothwing describe an episode of Seinfeld and claims it was a vision as why they should kick out Stormfur and Brook.

"Hawkfrost is evil." says Tawnypelt.

"But, we're brothers and I'm not evil." responds Brambleclaw.

Suddenly Hawkfrost tells Onestar he's ugly and the entire gathering starts a fight.

Starclan shows Leafpool a sign of a moth wing.. that Hawkfrost faked a sign of a moth wing.

So that Mothwing could be the medicine cat.

Tigerstar takes Tawnypelt to [Generic arcade] next.

"Aren't I a great dad?"

"No."

"Not even a little?"

"Absolutely not."

Brambleclaw breaks in and adds, "Isn't he a great dad?"

Daisy takes her kids back to the barn but she brings them back as soon as anyone tries to speak with her.

Brambleclaw stalks his brother all over Riverclan territory and finally steals back Stormkit for Thunderclan after six long years.

Mousefur apparently didn't bother to read past Fire and Ice because she thinks kittypets and half-clan cats are somehow worse and fathers aren't involved with their kits anymore.

Firestar tells her to shut up and does a backflip off of highledge.

Brambleclaw follows him and tells him to appoint a deputy.

Firestar asks at least ten other people if they think Graystripe is dead before calling a meeting.

Brackenfur claims that Graystripe taught him more than any other cat even though he neglected to train him throughout his entire mentorship.

Starclan sends Leafpool a dream about how Brambleclaw should be leader.

But, all they've proven all book is how incompetent they are.

So, why do they have the authority to make this decision?

Why can't Firestar pick his own hecking deputy!

Why does cat god need to tell him what to do? (Calm down Moonkitti) Ugh...

So, Brambleclaw becomes deputy.

"That's nonsense!" Shouts Ashfur, suddenly realizing he's living in a hastily written novel for preteens.

Brambleclaw meets his family at [Generic arcade] to brag about his promotion.

"I did this." says Tigerstar

"You're deputy because I'm your dad."

Then Brambleclaw agrees to meet Hawkfrost at sunrise in the climax of a book called SUNSET.

Then Leafpool goes to the Moonpool and demands to see Cinderpelt again but Spottedleaf just laughs menacingly and holds up Cinderkit.

"Why would you do that?" asks Leafpool.

"I don't know seemed fun." Responds Spottedleaf.

Brambelclaw meets with Hawkfrost who greets him by punching him in the face.

Hawkfrost gets to convince him that they should apprentice kits at birth when suddenly, Firestar's life alert goes off.

Brambleclaw runs to find him caught in a skeeball machine.

"Remember Chuck e Cheese?" Shouts Hawkfrost handing him a ball.

"Now's your chance to kill Firestar!"

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd meanwhile, Leafpool is giving the kittens a checkup.

But just at that moment Ashfur shouting something about Firestar and arcade games.

"Throw the ball!" shouts Tigerstars ghost.

"Make your old man proud."

He throws the ball at Hawkfrost instead.

They fight and Brambleclaw stabs his brother to death in the middle of a Chuck e Cheese.

"I'm proud of you... SON." says Firestar.

Leafpool arrives, "Wow, I can't believe warrior cats is over!" she mumbles. [Subtitles by Ayano 'Ame-Chan' Horanda.]