You just signed on for a life time of love

Companionship, and 12-18 months of logistical hell

Step 1: pick a location

Okay, this is easy. Barn. –Catholic church

Fuck

Step 2: make a guest list

I have 86 cousins and they all have kids

My mom says we have to invite all the couples they met on the cruise last year

That means we get to invite 2 friends

It’s more than we thought

Step 3: set a budget

We want something simple and cheap

Then fuck that budget cause no matter what you do, it’s gonna be expensive

You’re riding on a Shetland pony and then enjoy a 7 course meal in a crochet garden

Super low key.

Chalkboards, the mason jars. We’ll get a food truck

I’ve got a shed out in the back with some Christmas lights in it

Wait, it’s for a fucking wedding

Step 4: grow dissolution with commercial wedding industry

And resist the urge to elope

I’ve talked to the photographer. We could upgrade from the lovey- dovey package to the lovey- dovey platinum package

Or we could just say fuck it, drive to Vegas and end this

Too late. I already put a down payment on the DJ

I’m gonna play the Black Eyed Peas, Whoo!

Step 5: send out save the dates

Not to be confused with invitation, which are different for some reason

I don’t know. Sometimes save the dates are magnets

Step 6: fight about things you don’t actually care about

The cummerbunds have to be periwinkle

Because the bow ties are periwinkle

That’s gonna clash with the table runners

Step 7: register for gifts you don’t actually care about

Do we need a banana unpeeler?

Step 8: find an officiant that will appease your super religious extended family

And your super liberal atheist friends

I’ll talk about how woman is servant to her husband

And I’ll also probably mention hell a few times

You’ll both drink from the earth chalice

Then I’ll do a dance in honor of Mother Gaia

I will read the Lord’s prayer and also I’m gay

Oh, thank god. You’re it. You’re it

Step 9: send more fancy litter

Make sure to include litter they can litter back to you

Not that they will

Hey, I was just wondering if you were coming because you haven’t RSVP yet

And its 80 dollars per plate, Darren

The only thing left to do is step 10

Have awkward conversations with friends you couldn’t invite

Yeah, I haven’t gotten my invitation yet

No. No. No. –Really? Weird. Really? That’s…

Congratulations, you planned a wedding

Enjoy it. This is the one day when everyone in your life will come together

And find something to be disappointed about

A buffet? That is so tacky

Cousin Sally’s wedding had a chocolate fountain

And the cummerbunds clash with the table runners, ugh!

Oh my god! You’re at a free party and you’re going to complain?

You know, everyone should just elope. Just elope

Hey guys, it’s Murph from College Humor

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Uh, am I the only one who didn’t find this funny?