I'm pear.

This is cis and today's story is titanic.

If you're unfamiliar, titanic is the story of a psychopathic woman who ruins multiple people's lives.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

I don't think we're talking about the same movie here, titanic.

Right?

Big ship can't be sunk, hits an iceberg.

That's the one.

Yeah.

It's about a woman who's a complete psychopath.

Okay.

Others might say it's one of the great love stories of our time.

Why don't you let me lead this one?

Okay, Okay, joke.

Now, then, once upon a time.

Not so long ago, people with high tech submarines were searching the wreck of the titanic for lost treasure when they found a picture of a woman wearing a massive jewel around her neck.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's her.

That's the psychopath.

Her sis.

That's Rose.

She's the main character.

Yeah, I know you might not be remembering it, right?

No, I'm pretty sure I am the submarine dudes figured out Rose was alive, right?

And they called her in to tell her really long story about how she cheated on her husband and manipulated a penniless man named Jack into drying her portrait for free.

Um, I guess.

And then when the ship sank and the door was floating in the water, that was clearly big enough to hold two people on top of it and kept the entire door to herself and let poor penniless Jack freeze to death in the water.

Um, and then at the end of the movie, it's revealed, she actually had the huge jewel those submarine guys wanted the entire time, but she never tells them and instead secretly drops the priceless jewel into the oceans instead of like donating it to charity or using that money to bring even an ounce of good into the world.

That sounds about right.

Um Well yeah, that's basically the plot of titanic alright.

Yeah, that lady is a complete psychopath.

I can't believe I'm about to say this, but it's hard to argue with you on that one.

I didn't realize it until now.

But yeah, Rose from titanic is a massive, massive psychopath.

You think that's bad?

I haven't even gotten to the sequel yet.

Wait what?

Titanic doesn't have a sequel?

How could it?

Oh it's got a sequel alright.

It's called titanic cheese.

Rose goes full psychopath.

There is no movie called that, it's in production pair and it's gonna be awesome.

I know, I read the script really well.

Also I wrote the script but hear me out, you know how old lady Rose passes away peacefully at the end of titanic Spoiler alert.

But yeah, well, titanic two takes place in hell.

Oh my gosh, and because she's such a psychopath.

Roses sent to the absolute deepest circle of health, but she uses her psychopathic charm to trip people and move up slowly but surely level by level until she straight up charms the devil himself and sneaks up into heaven.

Got to say this is quite the departure from the original rom com and why would Rose want to sneak into heaven?

You ask?

Um because it's heaven because Jack is there.

Oh and she wants to apologize.

Get real.

The biggest psychopath the world has ever known is going to apologize that chance pair.

She wants to see Jack so she can screw him over again.

What?

Oh yeah, she pulls the exact same trick again.

She takes him to the door that separates heaven and hell tells him there's only room in heaven for one of them when clearly there's room enough for two and he totally falls for it in the end.

What?

Sis that's an awful ending.

Too bad.

The end you already paid for your ticket.

You watched the whole movie?

No refunds.

Sis gets 10% of the ticket price because she wrote the movie.

But the end pair roll credits.

Well congrats sis, you did it, You wrote a movie about the single biggest psychopath the world and the after world has ever seen Who Rose?

Oh she's a major psycho alright, but she's not the biggest psycho ever.

She's not, No way.

The biggest psycho would do something like oh, I don't know like some TNT for absolutely no reason, something like that.