Stop! Please!

Wait!

Nothing stands between me and that secret formula now.

Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha--

Ouch.

Scrub a dub dub, I like to rub.

Hey, Mr. Krabs, just doing a little scrubbin'.

Hello, SpongeBob, it is me, Mr. Krabs.

In the flesh. Standing right in front of you.

With no one else around.

I can see that, Mr. Krabs.

I thought we might discuss the Krabby Patty secret formula.

Isn't that a microphone?

What? Why, yes it is. I must get this shirt cleaned.

Alright, now tell me the secret formula.

But, sir, we haven't done the secret handshake yet.

Oh yes. Here, let's shake.

[laughing]

We don't shake with our hands, remember?

Uh, right, why don't you start?

We stand on one foot.

Balance a glass of chocolate milk on our heads

and sing the Bikini Bottom National Anthem.

♪ Oh, Bikini Bottom We pledge our hearts to you ♪

♪ As faithful, as deep As true, as blue, ♪

♪ Bikini Bottom, we love you ♪

Formula time?

Almost.

Six and a half hours later...

[grunting]

Yum yum, this spaghetti sure is good. Belch!

Meatball. Meatball. Spaghetti underneath.

Ravioli. Ravioli. Great Barrier Reef.

Okay, now let's hear that formula.

Sorry, no can do, Mr. Krabs.

Whaaaaaaaaaat?!

But we did everything you said. I followed all the rules!

I even ate 105 black licorice jellybeans

through a straw!

Now why can't you tell me the formula?

It's your rule. Never speak the formula.

You told me to keep it in... this bottle.

This is it, Plankton. Gently, now.

[laughing]

[gasping]

Gasp.

How could you do this, SpongeBob?

Giving me secret formula to this impostor?!

Don t listen to him, SpongeBob.

Remember: Ravioli, ravioli, give me the formuoli.

SpongeBob, no! Don't listen to him.

I'm the real Mr. Krabs.

Don't listen to him. He's obviously a robot.

Well, if I was a robot, which I'm not,

at least I'm well put together.

Not some rusted-out, steam-driven pile of junk!

Who you calling steam-driven?

Quiet! Until I know who the real Mr. Krabs is,

nobody moves, nobody gets hurt.

[both] Tartar sauce?!

Take it easy with that thing, son.

[gasping]

I'll do the talking around here.

I think I'll just ask you two a couple of questions.

Questions only the real Mr. Krabs could answer.

Okay, then.

First question: What time does the Krusty Krab open?

9:30 A.M.

Right. That's one strike, Mr. Fake.

- But... - Nuh-uh-uh!

I'm running this quiz show, I'll ask the questions.

If there's gonna be any 'buts,' they're gonna be from me.

Okay, question number two:

How much does a Krabby Patty cost?

$2.99!

- On Wednesday? - 99¢!

Right again!

You're starting to look pretty phony right about now.

I'd be nervous if I were you.

Now only the really real Mr. Krabs could answer this.

If we're discussing the secret formula

on the third Wednesday in January

and it's not raining outside after we've gargled

with vanilla pudding, what do we do?

That's an easy one. You just- just- let's see,

if it's uh, if it's January with...

with vanilla pudding, you... uh... pass?

[groaning] Wait, SpongeBob!

Give me another chance! No!

So long, Imitation Krabs! Bye-bye!

I knew it was you all along, Mr. Krabs, here ya go.

Thank you, SpongeDupe. [laughing]

Wha? Don't forget your lucky penny.

[laughing]

Yoinks.

This must be your lucky day. [laughing]

The self-destruct coin slot has been activated.

Ten seconds 'till detonation.

Coin-operated self-destruct? Not one of my better ideas.

Heeeelp!

Ouch.

If that was Plankton... Uh-oh!

Help! Get away! No!

[gasping] Mr. Krabs!

Ooh, yum-yum.

Back, you hungry hand, back! Help!

Gee, Mr. Krabs. I'm sorry. I thought you were a phony.

Phew, that's okay, me lad.

Long as the secret formula's safe again.

However, that penny's coming out of your paycheck.

[laughing]