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*best anime intro of all time*

I've been alive for over 28 years now

and despite having significant events in my life...

I have some pretty random assortment of memories from my childhood.

Take my 18th birthday, for example.

It's supposed to represent the day I entered adulthood.

But I actually don't remember what I did that day.

It was a Saturday, so I wasn't at school,

but I was in architecture so I was definitely doing homework.

I know I didn't hold a big party so I probably just had a nice dinner with my family.

Except I don't even remember where we ate...

So I don't recall my adulthood gateway birthday from 10 years ago.

But I do remember the last night I was in Philippines.

20 years ago, before immigrating to Canada.

I guess that you can debate that moving away would be a pretty significant event, but

When I was 6, I didn't understand how far Canada was

and how life-changing this move was actually going to be.

Anyway, I remember that night, not because we had a long travel ahead of us...

... but because I was sleeping on the floor in the living room

I guess, so, once we wake up it would be easier to quickly leave the house to go to the airport.

I was a little restless and was tossing around and then turned towards the couch.

And that's when a cockroach crawled out and then disappeared away from my peripherals (oh holy sh-)

That's it, that's my last memory before moving.

In grade 2, when we first moved to Canada,

I made a friend who invited me to come over and play with his Transformer toys.

I get to his house and we go to his room.

And me all ready being a troll at that age, I go straight to his dresser

and open one of the drawers.

I find his underwear and pull one out, and yell "OOOOO UnDerWeaR"

Like he's supposed to be embarrassed of it or something...

like ha ha ha, I wear these too, but I'm gonna make fun of you for it!

Kids are such jerks.

He laughs nervously, and then we proceed to play with his toys.

and that's how I remember Marcus...

a chubby kid with cool toys that wore "tighty-whities" like me (and me)

In grade 4, I was out at recess playing a big game of man hunt with a bunch of kids.

Manhunt is basically just tag, but if you get caught you join the hunter team and help tag the others until everyone is caught. (i thought it was infection.)

I was hiding out between two portables.

I think Americans call them trailers? (Yes they do)

Which wasn't really a great spot because it was a dead end.

If someone found me there, my exit would be blocked.

And indeed, someone found me there and...

...blocked my exit.

There was maybe 3 to 4 meters between the portables

which gave me a tiny bit of room to try and juke my way past the hunter,

except there was a loose nail sticking out of one of the portables

which caught my shirt as i was escaping

and made a huge tear right under my armpit and also gave me a big cut (childhood flashbacks intensify),

But I was more embarrassed than pained,

So instead of going to the teacher for some help,

I just... fled and continued playing the game

'cause i go hard.

I play to win.

And even when recess was over, I continued to try and hide my "battle wound"

for the rest of the day, as if it was a sign of weakness like

Ugh... I can't let them know I bleed...

Classmate: Uhhh, Mr. Sandal, Dominic is bleeding.

Dom: SHHHHHUT UPP

There was this one time in P.E., or phys. ed or gym or whatever you wanna call it,

and we were playing basketball.

If you've ever met me in person and thought I'm really short,

well, you're right to assume that i was the smallest kid in my class

for the duration of my childhood.

We were split up into teams and mine had some

bllllllloody good playas! hehehe

who were black (hilarious Dom)

At one point we were on the opponent side

and my teammate, Mark, was in a position to either pass to me, or to my other taller and more skilled teammate.

He passed to me. (Anime moment)

I went for a three

cash moneeey!!!!!

And even though I scored, my teammate still complained like

Black boi: "Hey man, why didn't you pass to me?"

and Mark replied with:

Mark: "What? Dom is a good shot!"

Which was a LIE.

I mean, I was decent, definitely not as good as the other guy,

but I feel like Mark said that to just to justify his choice.

and even though I probably scored like 1 more point for the rest of the game

I had such a huge boost of self-confidence after hearing Mark's encouraging words.

I had such a huge boost of self-confidence after hearing Mark's encouraging words. [Intense screaming]

In Grade 5, I had a crush on this girl in my class: Stephanie.

The same Stephanie from my Crushes video.

It think it was like the last day of class before summer break and we were having a relaxed day.

My teacher had a piano in the classroom and allowed the students to play on it.

During that time, one of my favorite songs was All My Life by K-Ci & JoJo.

And the intro to that song is literally the only thing I know how to play on the piano.

And so I requested to play, sat down, and played the intro to the song

in hopes to impress Stephanie.

Afterwards, the other kids, INCLUDING Stephanie, cheered me on

because, they thought it was dedicated to Bridget...

Another girl who openly had a crush on me.

And, I guess from my little performance people thought those feelings were now mutual...

which they weren't...

But I didnt want to embarass Bridget by trying to correct the crowd so...

yea I-I just went with it.

This last one was kind of a suppressed memory because I was so embarrased when it happened. Also, TMI (too much info) warning.

Alright, so growing up, after pooping, i was taught to use, what we Filipinos call a "Tabo".

A small bucket with a handle that we fill up with water to wash our butts with.

That's right, we believe toilet paper alone isn't enough.

At a young age, I was too weak to carry the "tabo" on my own with one hand

because, obviously i needed the other to wash my anus. (OK now it's TMI)

So usually when i was done delivering the package, I'd yell for my parents or older sister to help pour the water while i clean myself.

One day, we were at a family friend's house and the parents had to head out for a bit.

Leaving us, the kids, at the home.

Destiny determined that i had to poop exactly in the time frame they were absent

so, naturally i had to depend on my older sister to help me out once I was done dropping the mail.

EXCEPT, I had to go real bad, and didn't get a chance to warn my sister ahead of time to keep an ear out for my call.

And so I'm there, on the toilet, finished with the load...

I left the door slightly ajar so i could be heard

and at first I called out to my sister, at a medium volume:

(Whispers) Ate...

Which, in Tagalog, means older sister or a respectful term for a girl who is slightly older than you.

She didnt hear me... and so, i kept calling out increasingly getting louder until i was heard.

And, surely enough, I was. Except it wasnt my sister who came to greet me...

it was the family friend. (OH CRIPES.)

And when you're caught on the toilet, there's actually nothing you can do to minimize how defenseless you look (that's so true it hurts).

She laughed hard and, I just had to take it until she got a whiff of my aroma and then left the scene.

[sniff sniff] She laughed hard and, I just had to take it until she got a whiff of my aroma and then left the scene.

[EW NASTY] She laughed hard and, I just had to take it until she got a whiff of my aroma and then left the scene.

Maximum embarrasment.

AND SO FROM THAT DAY ON I MATURED INTO INDEPENDENCE NEVER AGAIN HAVING TO RELY ON ANYONE TO ASSIST ME IN CLEANING MYSELF AFTER A POOP.

(Bad Audio) Because, now, I rely on technology!

This is a bidet.

*Turns knob and bidet goes super saiyan on Dom*

Ḩ̷̞̯̯̩̫̂̽͂̆͑̕͜͝O̶̡̙̼͈̞̰̳̟͐L̶̜̣̪͇̣̘̮̇͌̓̽̄̆͜͝Y̸̛̤̳̞͍̹̦̳̍͌̈ ̸̢̬̙̰̹̩̺̠̱͂̏͛̂̀̓S̶̨̨̜̤̱̯̳̝̚Ȟ̵̡̛͕͎͓̲̥̈́͘̚̕ͅ-̸̯̄͋͊̋̄̂͗͛͠

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A lot of you might be aware of the recent passing of article 13,

In the European union, which, in summary,

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liable for the content posted on the website.

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Subtitles by: (Edit this out and put your name here!) TheLostNexus5