The future of war is in space

And Burger King is accused of making a racist ad

At least no one's accusing them of making a decent burger.

That and more on this week's China news headlines.

This is China Uncensored.

I'm Chris Chappell.

This week's China news headlines.

Last month, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo

visited the Philippines.

While there, he said the US would back the Philippines

in the event of any armed attack in the South China Sea,

based on their mutual defense treaty.

And now it seems like the US

is putting muscle behind that statement.

This week, the US sent a warship carrying

fighter jets near the Scarborough Shoal.

That's territory both China and the Philippines claim.

The sighting was first reported by Filipino television.

“But on the fifth hour of sailing,

everyone was roused from their naps by a new site.

An aircraft carrier not three miles away,

launching and landing its planes

to the wonder of the watching fisherman.”

Wow, that's incredible.

That looked just like the Filipino fishing boat

I took to the Scarborough Shoal.

The ship those fishermen saw was the USS Wasp.

It's reported to be carrying an unusually large number of F-35Bs.

That's the latest American stealth fighter plane.

But the Wasp was carrying another secret weapon —

Ant Man.

Okay, look.

It's not always easy to add jokes to these stories.

The Wasp was sailing to annual military drills with the Philippines.

It comes shortly after protests from the Philippine government

over 200 Chinese ships near another disputed island.

Maybe I need to go back to the South China Sea.

And speaking of disputed territories, Taiwan.

China is very sensitive about its territorial claim

to what is essentially an entire country.

So when the London school of Economics displayed this,

a sculpture by Mark Wallinger called

'The World Turned Upside Down'...

...some people freaked out.

Why?

Because China was colored in yellow,

and Taiwan was colored in pink.

Implying it's a separate country.

China is very sensitive about maps,

since that's how it makes a lot of territorial claims.

Which is why,

inside China,

there's been a crackdown on politically incorrect maps.

Anyway, a group of Chinese international students,

I'm sure completely independently from the Chinese consulate,

complained.

And the UK university decided to immediately give in.

But then it became international news.

And now they've clarified,

“No final decisions have been reached.”

Because this is a hard decision to make?

Honestly, though,

I'm just upset they put Australia at the top.

Speaking of even more territories

the Chinese Communist Party is ruining,

Hong Kong.

Remember the Umbrella Movement a few years ago?

I do.

For 79 days, protesters,

mainly students and mostly peaceful,

occupied a few main roads in Hong Kong

to demonstrate for democracy.

Their symbol was a yellow umbrella,

since they were using umbrellas

to fend off the tear gas

Hong Kong police were throwing at them.

Clearly a menace to society.

That's why 9 prominent leaders of the movement

have just been found guilty of causing a nuisance

and inciting others to do the same.

Causing a nuisance can mean up to 7 years in jail.

Just kidding.

Each charge of causing a nuisance means 7 years in jail.

Hong Kong's doing fine under Chinese rule.

Acting Defense Secretary Patrick M. Shanahan

is warning that the next war

will be won or lost in space.

My gosh, lost in space, that's terrifying!

That reboot was terrible.

Speaking at the 35th Space Symposium

in Colorado Springs, Colorado,

Shanahan said,

“Because of [China and Russia's] actions,

space is no longer a sanctuary—

it is now a warfighting domain.

This is not a future or theoretical threat;

this is today's threat.”

But even though Russia was mentioned,

Shanahan made it clear that China is the real threat.

“We wake up much more worried about China

every day than we do about Russia in space.

Long term,

China is the one that we're worried about.

And it's China cyber,

it's China space,

it's China hypersonics—

it's the whole package for China.”

Which is so strange,

because I saw in the movie Valerian,

which was cosponsored by a Chinese production company,

that China will lead space exploration in the future!

I guess Hollywood is paving the way

for the Chinese Communist Party.

Speaking of space,

earlier this week the world got a look at

the first-ever photo of a black hole.

Which looks like...a black hole.

But the important part is state-run China Daily

would like you to please remember that

none of this would have been possible without China.

And also that this black hole has been

part of Chinese territory since ancient times.

And apparently an F-35 fighter plane has gone missing.

If you have any knowledge of its whereabouts,

please contact Japan.

Japan lost contact with one of its F-35s 84

miles off the east coast of Japan.

And uh, China and Russia

have a lot of naval patrols out that way so...

better find it quick.

Tom Moore,

an expert on Russia and weapons tweeted,

“there is no price too high in this world

for China and Russia to pay to get Japan's missing F-35,

if they can.”

Retired US Air Force Lieutenant General David Deptula

told Business Insider, “Both China and Russia

have excellent reconstruction/reverse engineering/copying skills,

particularly the Chinese as they are masters at it.”

But it might not be as bad as you think.

For one, “The jet's all-important software and programming

would likely be hard to reconstruct given

not only the likely damage from the crash

and salt water in [the] Pacific

but also the way that the jet's sensitive systems

are designed to be very hard to decipher and reverse engineer.”

Also, China hacked the F-35 design years ago.

See?

No problem.

Huawei is the Chinese telecommunications company

the United States government is warning everyone

is a giantatic national security risk.

And now Huawei has a new ally:

a senior cyber security expert

who used to work for the White House.

Huawei has hired Samir Jain

to lobby on their behalf.

Jain used to be the associate deputy US attorney general.

And he was also a National Security Council advisor

under the Obama administration.

According to the disclosure filing,

“He'll lobby on foreign investment,

government purchasing and 'security-related issues

arising under the National Defense Authorization Act.'”

And finally,

yet another Western company is in trouble

for using chopsticks in their ads.

A New Zealand franchise of Burger King

posted this video on Instagram.

Eating a burger with chopsticks is hard.

It's the new Vietnamese Sweet Chilli Tendercrisp Burger.

I am disgusted.

No, not because of the ad.

I mean, look at this thing.

“Social media users in China demanded an apology,

saying Burger King had made a mockery

of Asian customs and dining etiquette.”

The same thing happened a few months ago

over a Dolce and Gabbana ad.

All I can say is stick a fork in me, I'm done.

What do you think about this week's headlines?

Leave your comments below.

And now it's time for me to answer a question

from one of you—

a fan who support China Uncensored

with a dollar or more per episode,

by contributing through Patreon.

Charlie Matsubara asks,

“Who would win in an arm wrestling match?

Presitator vs King Chris?”

That's a very good question

and I'd love to get an answer to it myself.

I am assuming I'm King Chris in this scenario.

I've been trying to get an interview

with Chinese Presitator Xi Jinping

since at least 2015,

when I tried to meet him during his stay

at the Waldorf Astoria in New York.

It didn't go as planned.

Security told me I was banned

from the Waldorf Astoria for life.

Now I'm a pretty good arm wrestler.

Why, I even beat US Congressman Dana Rohrabacher.

You know, maybe that's why Xi hasn't shown up.

He's afraid I'm going to lay the smackdown on him.

So here's what: Xi Jinping,

I know you're listening,

I'm agreeing to arm wrestle you with my left arm.

Whenever you're ready for that interview,

I'll be waiting.

Send me a fax.

Thanks for your question, Charlie.

And thank you to all my 50-Cent Army soldiers

who support China Uncensored.

It's only because of your support

that we've been able to cover topics

that most other media don't want to,

because they prefer to get advertising dollars,

rather than criticize the Chinese Communist Party.

Once again, I'm Chris Chappell.

See you next time.