WELCOME TO A "LATE SHOW."

WELCOME TO A "LATE SHOW."

I AM YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT.

私はあなたのホスト、ステファン・コルバートです。

YOU MAY NOTICE THAT I'M NOT WHERE I NORMALLY AM... WHEN I'M

いつもの場所にいないことに 気づいてもいいですか...私がいるときは

NORMALLY NOT AT THE OTHER PLACE... WHERE I NORMALLY AM.

いつもは他の場所にはいない...いつもはどこにいるのか

I'M TWICE-REMOVED FROM NORMAL.

私は2度ノーマルから削除されました。

OTHERWISE KNOWN AS DELAWARE.

別名デラウェアとして知られています。

IF YOU DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT DELAWARE, I'LL GIVE YOU A QUICK

デラウェアについてあまり知らない方には、簡単な説明をします。

A LESSON IN OUR ONE-TIME SEGMENT, "BETTER KNOW A

私たちのワンタイム・セグメントのレッスン「BETTER KNOW Aを知ってください

DELAWARE: RAISING YOUR DELAWARENESS."

DELAWARE: RAISING YOUR DELAWARENESS."

FUN FACT: PEOPLE FROM DELAWARE ARE OFTEN REFERRED TO AS "BLUE

FUN FACT: PEOPLE FROM DELAWARE ARE OFTEN REFERRED TO AS "BLUE

HENS," WHICH IS WEIRD BECAUSE THE STATE BIRD IS ACTUALLY A

HENS," WHICH IS WEIRD BECAUSE THE STATE BIRD IS ACTUALLY A

HIGHWAY REST STOP.

高速道路の休憩所。

AND THAT'S ABOUT IT.

それだけだ

SO NOW YOU KNOW DELA-WHERE, BUT YOU MIGHT BE ASKING, "DELA-WHY?"

これでデラがどこにあるかは分かったが "デラの理由は？"と聞くかもしれない

I'M HERE TO DO THE FIRST POST-ELECTION JOINT INTERVIEW

I'M HERE TO DO THE FIRST POST-ELECTION JOINT INTERVIEW

WITH PRESIDENT-ELECT JOSEPH R.

WITH PRESIDENT-ELECT JOSEPH R.

BIDEN AND THE NEXT FIRST LADY, DR.

BIDEN AND THE NEXT FIRST LADY, DR.

JILL BIDEN.

JILL BIDEN.

PLUS, WHO PASSES UP A TRIP TO WILMINGTON?

加えて、ウィルミントンへの旅行を誰が予約しますか？

THERE'S A REASON THEY CALL THIS TOWN "THRILLMINGTON."

THERE'S A REASON THEY CALL THIS TOWN "THRILLMINGTON."

AND I'M BEING TOLD THEY DO NOT CALL IT THAT.

そして、そのように呼ぶことはないと言われています。

THAT INTERVIEW IS MOMENTS AWAY, BUT FIRST:

THAT INTERVIEW IS MOMENTS AWAY, BUT FIRST:

THERE'S GOOD PANDEMIC NEWS!

THERE'S GOOD PANDEMIC NEWS!

PEOPLE ACROSS THE COUNTRY HAVE STARTED GETTING THE PFIZER

PEOPLE ACROSS THE COUNTRY HAVE STARTED GETTING THE PFIZER

VACCINE, AND THIS WEEK, HOSPITALS DISCOVERED A SURPRISE

VACCINE、そして今週、病院が驚きの事実を発見しました。

IN THEIR VACCINE DELIVERIES: EXTRA DOSES.

彼らのワクチンの配達で：追加の用量。

THE VACCINE STRETCHES FURTHER THAN WE THOUGHT!

VACCINEは思った以上に伸びる！

IT'S A HANUKKAH MIRACLE!

ハヌッカ・ミラクルだ！

LET'S CELEBRATE BY EATING FRIED POTATOES, WHICH I BELIEVE

揚げたジャガイモを食べてお祝いしましょう。

AMERICANS DO EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR ANYWAY.

AMERICANS DO EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR ANYWAY.

HERE'S THE DEAL: PHARMACISTS HAVE FOUND THAT WHEN THEY USED

これが本題です。

GLASS VIALS THAT WERE SUPPOSED TO CONTAIN FIVE DOSES,

GLASS VIALS THAT WERE SUPPOSED TO CONTAIN FIVE DOSES,

SOMETIMES, THEY CAN SQUEEZE OUT AN ADDITIONAL DOSE.

時々、彼らは追加の用量を搾り出すことができます。

IT'S LIKE THAT FEELING WHEN YOU THINK YOU FINISHED THE FRENCH

IT'S LIKE THAT FEELING WHEN YOU THINK YOU FINISHED THE FRENCH

FRIES, THEN YOU GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THE BAG, AND YOU FIND

FRIES, THEN YOU GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THE BAG, AND YOU FIND

THOSE LITTLE EXTRA CRUNCHY BITS.

その小さな超小型のバリバリのビット。

BUT IMAGINE IF THOSE FRENCH FRIES PREVENTED DISEASE.

BUT IMAGINE IF THOSE FRENCH FRIES PREVENTED DISEASE.

AGAIN, WE EAT A LOT OF FRIED POTATOES IN AMERICA.

AGAIN, WE EAT A LOT OF FRIED POTATOES IN AMERICA.

AND WE'RE GOING TO NEED THAT EXTRA VACCINE, BECAUSE THE WHITE

追加のワクチンが必要になる白人のために

HOUSE IS STICKING WITH ITS PANDEMIC PLAN OF "NOT HAVING A

HOUSE IS STICKING WITH ITS PANDEMIC PLAN OF "NOT HAVING A

PLAN."

PLAN."

YESTERDAY, WE LEARNED OF EMAILS FROM ONE OF THE PRESIDENT'S TOP

YESTERDAY, WE LEARNED OF EMAILS FROM ONE OF THE PRESIDENT'S TOP

HEALTH APPOINTEES, FORMER H.H.S.

前身のH.H.S.の健康推薦者たち

SCIENCE ADVISOR PAUL ALEXANDER.

SCIENCE ADVISOR PAUL ALEXANDER.

NORMALLY, I WOULD SHOW A PICTURE OF HIM, AND DO A JOKE, BUT-- AND

いつもなら 彼の写真を見せて 冗談を言うんだが...

THIS IS TRUE-- WE COULD FIND NO IMAGE OF HIM ON THE INTERNET.

これは真実です ネット上には彼の画像がありませんでした

HE MIGHT HAVE ERASED THEM ALL, AND YOU'RE ABOUT TO FIND OUT

HE MIGHT HAVE ERASED THEM ALL, AND YOU'RE ABOUT TO FIND OUT

WHY.

WHY.

BECAUSE THIS SUMMER, ALEXANDER URGED TOP HEALTH OFFICIALS TO

BECAUSE THIS SUMMER, ALEXANDER URGED TOP HEALTH OFFICIALS TO

ADOPT A "HERD IMMUNITY" APPROACH TO COVID-19 AND ALLOW MILLIONS

ADOPT A "HERD IMMUNITY" APPROACH TO COVID-19 AND ALLOW MILLIONS

OF AMERICANS TO BE INFECTED BY THE VIRUS, THEREBY CHANGING THE

アメリカ人のうち、ウイルスに感染している人の数は、それによって変化しています。

DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES, TO THE DEPARTMENT OF

保健福祉省、政府へ

HELL AND HUMAN SACRIFICE.

"地獄と人間の冒涜

BECAUSE HERE'S THE THING ABOUT PAUL ALEXANDER'S STRATEGY.

なぜなら、ここにポール・アレキサンダーの戦略についてのことがあるからです。

IT WOULD REQUIRE ALMOST THREE MILLION DEATHS TO REACH HERD

IT WOULD REQUIRE ALMOST THREE MILLION DEATHS TO REACH HERD

IMMUNITY.

IMMUNITY.

IF YOUR PLAN TO SAVE HUMANITY INVOLVES KILLING MILLIONS OF

IF YOUR PLAN TO SAVE HUMANITY INVOLVES KILLING MILLIONS OF

PEOPLE, YOU'RE NOT A HEALTH ADVISER, YOU'RE A MARVEL

皆さん、あなたは健康アドバイザーではありません、あなたは驚異です。

VILLAIN.

ビレイン

SO, CLEARLY, IT'S MORE IMPORTANT THAN EVER THAT WE GET TO THE

だから、明らかに、今まで以上に重要なのは、

INAUGURATION OF ONE OF MY GUESTS TONIGHT, JOE BIDEN.

INAUGURATION OF ONE OF MY GUESTS TONIGHT, JOE BIDEN.

IN THE FACE OF THE COVID RAGING, THE PRESIDENT-ELECT IS ASKING

IN THE FACE OF THE COVID RAGING, THE PRESIDENT-ELECT IS ASKING

AMERICANS TO STAY HOME.

アメリカ人が家に留まるために。

IF ENOUGH PEOPLE DO THE RIGHT THING, HIS INAUGURATION COULD

IF ENOUGH PEOPLE DO THE RIGHT THING, HIS INAUGURATION COULD

END UP LOOKING A LOT LIKE THE LAST ONE.

前作と似たような感じになってる

NOW, NORMALLY, INAUGURATIONS ARE FUNDRAISING CASH COWS.

NOW, NORMALLY, INAUGURATIONS ARE FUNDRAISING CASH COWS.

SUPPORTERS ARE WILLING TO SHELL OUT BIG BUCKS FOR A PICTURE WITH

SUPPORTERS ARE WILLING TO SHELL OUT BIG BUCKS FOR A PICTURE WITH

THE NEW PRESIDENT.

THE NEW PRESIDENT.

BUT THIS YEAR, THAT CAN'T HAPPEN.

（山里）でも今年は それはないですね

SO, INSTEAD, TOP CONTRIBUTORS WILL GET "VIRTUAL SIGNED PHOTOS"

SO, INSTEAD, TOP CONTRIBUTORS WILL GET "VIRTUAL SIGNED PHOTOS"

WITH THE PRESIDENT-ELECT AND THE FIRST LADY.

WITH THE PRESIDENT-ELECT AND THE FIRST LADY.

OKAY.

分かった

BUT THEY DO REALIZE THAT ANYONE WITH A COMPUTER CAN GET A

しかし、彼らは、コンピュータがあれば誰でも取得することができることを認識しています。

VIRTUAL SIGNED PHOTO OF THEMSELVES WITH THE PRESIDENT.

VIRTUAL SIGNED PHOTO OF THEMSELVES WITH THE PRESIDENT.

ANY PRESIDENT.

どんな大統領でも

CHECK OUT THIS PHOTO OF ME WITH MARTIN VAN BUREN.

CHECK OUT THIS PHOTO OF ME WITH MARTIN VAN BUREN.

AND DID HE SIGN IT?

サインしたのか？

YOU BET.

賭けるんだ

"STEPHEN, LOVED YOUR INTERVIEW WITH CHANCE THE RAPPER.

"STEPHEN, LOVED YOUR INTERVIEW WITH CHANCE THE RAPPER.

YOU CAN'T FAKE CHEMISTRY.

化学を偽ることはできません。

COWABUNGA, M.V.B."

コワブンガ、M.V.B. "

MEANWHILE, THE CURRENT ADMINISTRATION IS SWAMPED WITH A

MEANWHILE, THE CURRENT ADMINISTRATION IS SWAMPED WITH A

MAD SCRAMBLE FOR PARDONS.

恩赦のためのマッドスクランブル。

ACCORDING TO ONE INSIDER, "IT'S TURNED CRAZY."

ある内部関係者によると "狂ったようになった "と

"TURNED" CRAZY?

"TURNED" CRAZY?

THIS IS THE PRESIDENT WHO ADVISED PEOPLE TO INJECT BLEACH,

THIS IS THE PRESIDENT WHO ADVISED PEOPLE TO INJECT BLEACH,

SAID THAT A DEAD VENEZUELAN LEADER STOLE THE ELECTION,

死んだヴェネズエラのリーダーが選挙を奪ったと言われた。

WANTED TO TRADE PUERTO RICO FOR GREENLAND, AND STOP A HURRICANE

プエルトリコとグリーンランドを取引したいと思っていました。

WITH A NUCLEAR BOMB.

WITH A NUCLEAR BOMB.

WE'VE MADE THE TURN TO CRAZYTOWN A LONG TIME AGO.

WE'VE MADE THE TURN TO CRAZYTOWN A LONG TIME AGO.

NOW WE'RE JUST DOING DONUTS IN CUCKOO CANYON.

今はクックーキャニオンでドーナツをしているところだ。

THE ADMINISTRATION HAS LARGELY IGNORED ANY ESTABLISHED PROCESS,

政権は、確立されたプロセスを非常に無視しています。

SO PEOPLE ARE CALLING THE WHITE HOUSE DIRECTLY.

SO PEOPLE ARE CALLING THE WHITE HOUSE DIRECTLY.

IN FACT, SO MANY PEOPLE ARE ASKING FOR PARDONS OR

実際、多くの人が恩赦を求めています。

COMMUTATIONS THAT A SPREADSHEET HAS BEEN CREATED TO KEEP TRACK

追跡するためにスプレッドシートが作成されていることの共通点

OF THE REQUESTS.

OF THE REQUESTS.

YES, THEY'RE COMPILING THEM ALL IN MICROSOFT EX-CELL.

YES, THEY'RE COMPILING THEM ALL IN MICROSOFT EX-CELL.

IF THEY DO MANAGE TO PRY THE CURRENT PRESIDENT FROM THE WHITE

現職の大統領を白人の大統領に仕立て上げることができたら

HOUSE, HE MAY NEED TO FIND A DIFFERENT PLACE TO LIVE, BECAUSE

家、彼は別の住む場所を 見つける必要があるかもしれません。

PALM BEACH RESIDENTS SURROUNDING MAR-A-LAGO RECENTLY SENT THE

マアラゴ周辺のパームビーチの住人が最近送ってきたのは

TOWN A LETTER WITH A MESSAGE FOR THE OUTGOING COMMANDER IN CHIEF:

TOWN A LETTER WITH A MESSAGE FOR THE OUTGOING COMMANDER IN CHIEF:

WE DON'T WANT YOU TO BE OUR NEIGHBOR.

私たちはあなたを私たちの隣人にしたくありません。

IT'S ALL IN THE NEW DOCUMENTARY, "WON'T YOU SUCK IT, NEIGHBOR?"

それはすべての新しい文書である "WON'T YOU SUCK IT, NEIGHBOR?"

THE LOCALS DON'T LIKE THE NOISE AND TRAFFIC WHEN THE PRESIDENT

地元の人たちは大統領がいる時の騒音と交通量が好きではない。

IS AT MAR-A-LAGO, BUT EVEN BEFORE HE WAS IN OFFICE, HE

今はマララゴにいますが 就任する前にも

CREATED ILL WILL IN THE TOWN BY REFUSING TO COMPLY WITH EVEN

CREATED ILL WILL IN THE TOWN BY REFUSING TO COMPLY WITH EVEN

BASIC LOCAL REQUIREMENTS, SUCH AS ADHERING TO HEIGHT LIMITS FOR

義務づけられている基本的な地方自治体の要件（例えば、高さ制限に従うことなど）。

A MASSIVE FLAGPOLE HE INSTALLED.

巨大な旗竿が設置されていました。

NOT TO MENTION THE VIOLATING THE HOMEOWNER ASSOCIATION'S RULES ON

NOT TO MENTION THE VIOLATING THE HOMEOWNER ASSOCIATION'S RULES ON

FENCE HEIGHT.

FENCE HEIGHT.

NOW, LET'S GET TO THE REASON I CAME DOWN HERE-- MY INTERVIEW

NOW, LET'S GET TO THE REASON I CAME DOWN HERE-- MY INTERVIEW

WITH THE FUTURE FIRST COUPLE, STARTING WITH THE

WITH THE FUTURE FIRST COUPLE, STARTING WITH THE

PRESIDENT-ELECT.

大統領閣下

STEPHEN?

ステファン？