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  • Okay, so I really messed up. My first time on  holiday to the US from Jolly Old England, and now  


  • I'm being convicted on federal drug trafficking  charges, just because I left my bags with that  


  • seemingly-nice man while I was in the airport  bathroom. Thankfully, I'm not in Singapore,  


  • so I won't be hanged for my stupid mistake, butam gonna be doing hard time in a US federal prison  

    愚かなミスで絞首刑にはならないが、アメリカの連邦刑務所で 辛い思いをすることになる。

  • until my next appeal. But don't worry – I've seen  The Shawshank Redemption twice, and I'm pretty  

    次のアピールまででもご心配なく - 「ショーシャンク・リデンプション」を2回見てきました。

  • sure I watched a couple episodes of Prison Break. It's not like there are ten super important rules,  


  • right? This should be a piece of cake… 10. In prison, do not refer to the  


  • other guys doing time with you asinmates”. Of course, on my first day, I want to make sure  


  • I make a good first impression. After all, I'm  potentially staring down the barrel of a ten-year  


  • sentence, so it's definitely a good idea to make  friends. That's why, on my first day in the yard,  


  • I walked up to the nearest group of prisoners  and decided to lay my British charm on them


  • Hello, my fellow inmates!” I said. They looked at me like I was an alien. I figured  


  • it must've been the accent, so I tried again. “How about we go from in-mates to good mates?”  

    訛りのせいだと思って もう一度やってみたんだ"仲間から良い仲間になるのはどうだ?"

  • I said, and sadly, nobody laughed. They just kept staring at me


  • That night, as I was helping scrub down the  tiles in the showers, someone whacked me on  


  • the back of the head with a bar of soap insidetube sock. Ouch! Next thing I knew, I was in the  


  • infirmary. When I told the prison doctor the  whole story, he just shook his head and said


  • Word of advice, buddy. Don't call your fellow  prisoners 'inmates.' It's a sign of disrespect,  

    "「忠告しておくよ、相棒。「仲間の囚人を "受刑者 "と呼ぶな」無礼の印だ

  • or shows that you're softer than  Wonderbread. Use 'convicts' next time.” 

    ワンダーブレッドよりも柔らかいことを示しているのよ次は "囚人 "を使ってくれ"

  • Well, that's one lesson learned the hard way… 9. Don't “PC up.” 

    それが一つの教訓だ 9."PCを使うな"

  • After only one day in prison, I'd already  decided that being locked up with a bunch of  


  • murderers and hardcore career criminals really  wasn't for me. These men could be real brutes,  

    殺人者や筋金入りの職業犯罪者は 私には合わなかった彼らは本物の野蛮人かもしれない

  • and I've always been more of a soft touch.  I thought that it was probably best to get  

    と、私はどちらかというとソフトタッチの方が好きでした。 を手に入れた方が良いのではないかと思いました。

  • myself a little protection from all the scary men  with cheeks covered in tear-drop tattoos. That's  

    頬に涙のタトゥーを入れた 怖い男たちから 自分を守るためにねそれは

  • why I approached one of the guards, and asked  him if I could be put under protective custody


  • He asked why, and I told him my tale of  soapy woe. But the guard just laughed,  


  • and rudely told me that my concerns just  weren't a priority right now. Worse still,  


  • one of my fellow inmates- Uh, I meanconvicts, saw me get rejected. How humiliating


  • It literally added injury to insult when  that convict, along with a few others,  

    文字通り 侮辱に加えて 傷つけたんだ 他の数人の囚人と一緒にな

  • cornered me in the yard the next day and kicked  me several times in the head. I just can't win


  • Later, in the infirmary, the doctor told  me, “You were lucky it was just a beating.  


  • You really shouldn't PC up unless it's life  or death, cause if you get seen doing it,  


  • you'll make it life or death.” 8. Do not gamble, borrow,  

    "生か死かを決める"8.賭けるな 借りるな

  • or use drugs that you get 'up front' with the  promise that you'll pay later without knowing  


  • beyond doubt that you'll be able to pay. After my frankly quite shoddy first few days  


  • as a convict, I must say, I was really feeling  sorry for myself. Not only was I going to miss  


  • out on the release of the PlayStationbecause of the length of the sentence,  


  • they didn't even have so much as a PS3 on the  inside! It was torture! That's why I decided to  


  • score myself a bit of the old Bolivian Marching  Powder from my cellmate, Hector. He gave me a  

    同房者のヘクターから 古いボリビアの行進粉を買ってきた彼は私に

  • quizzical look when I asked, and said: “Are you sure you're good for it?” 

    "本当にいいんですか?"って 聞くと、キョロキョロした顔で言ってました。"本当にそれでいいのか?"

  • Yes, yes, of course, whatever,” I said.  “Just give me my drugs. I'm miserable here!” 

    "はい、はい、もちろん、何でもいいから "と言った。 "私の薬をちょうだい。"ここは惨めだ!"

  • So, Hector obliged me, and I spent the next  few hours feeling pretty darn good. Until,  


  • of course, Hector pushed me up against the wall  and held a shiv up to my throat, asking for  


  • his money with language I can't really repeat  here. When I told him I couldn't pay him back,  

    彼のお金を奪ったんです ここでは何度も言えませんが私が彼にお金を返せないと言った時に

  • he thankfully only beat the living hell out of me. “Don't gamble, borrow, or take any drugs you  


  • can't pay for, you stupid, British  jerk,” he said, before going to bed.  


  • I spent that night in the infirmary. Again. 7. Never Back Down from a Challenge


  • By mid-week, I'm not gonna lie, I looked like  a mess. I was so bruised up that I looked like  


  • a dalmatian, and I was feeling lonely since  Hector was sent to solitary for beating me up.  


  • I decided to just sit quietly in the  yard and read the only book the prison  


  • library had available at the time, which was  sadly a copy of a Justin Bieber biography


  • So, you can only imagine my frustration when  a man they calledAryan Nation Steve” – on  


  • account of all the Swastika tattoos and racial  hatredcame over to me, jonesing for a fight.  


  • He said, in his deep, intimidating voice: “You and me right now, little man, let's go!” 

    彼は深くて威圧的な声で言った "今はお前と俺だ 坊や、行くぞ!"

  • Of course, he was twice my size and wayway angrier, so I didn't much fancy a fight


  • Can't we just talk about this  like civilized men?” I asked


  • When a few of the other convicts heard me  say this, they apparently took offence,  


  • and started crowding around us. Aryan  Nation Steve challenged me again


  • “I'm sorry, Steven, but I'm  just not feeling it!” I said

    "ごめん スティーブン でも気分が乗らないんだ!"と私は言った。

  • So, I got beaten up by seven guys instead of  one. And while Aryan Nation Steve was punching  


  • me in the face, he saidWord of advice: When  someone challenges you, you take that challenge,  

    私の顔を見て「一言アドバイス。誰かに挑戦されたら その挑戦を受けなさい。

  • or things will get a whole lot worse!” Duly noted


  • 6. Defer to, and show respect to  the older convicts. You do not get  


  • to survive prison to old age by accident. Needless to say, after all these beatings,  


  • I was feeling pretty powerless.  I needed a sense of retribution,  

    かなりの無力感を感じていました。 報いの感覚が必要だった

  • or my self-esteem was going to take a real  nosedive. I vaguely remembered something about  


  • asserting dominance by taking on the strongest  guy in the yard, but the strongest guy in the  


  • yard – a Russian gangster who went by Big Boy  Boriswould probably use me as a toilet brush

    ヤード - ビッグボーイ・ボリスが通ったロシアのギャングスターは、おそらくトイレのブラシとして私を使用します。

  • That's why I decided to instead take on Toothless  Bill, whoat 75 – was probably the oldest guy  


  • in the penitentiary. As a spritely young lad  of 22, I figured I could probably take the old  


  • codgerand after all, as I'd learned yesterdayyou can never turn down a fight in prison.  


  • This would be a perfect way to at least  end up above someone on the food chain


  • So, I approached him, and said, “Come onToothless Bill, it's time to throw down!” 

    だから私は彼に近づいて言った "さあ トゥース・ビル 投げる時間だ!"

  • And without a word, he rose from his seat, and  gave me a swift chop to the throat that sent me  


  • crumbling to the ground, gasping for air. He gave a grizzled old chuckle and said,  


  • Respect your elders, kid. You do not get  to survive prison to old age by accident.” 

    "年長者に敬意を払え、小僧。"刑務所から老後まで生き残れるのは 偶然ではない"

  • 5. Maintain Good Personal Hygiene. It goes without saying that prison  


  • really wasn't going well for me. I'd  learned five important rules, sure,  


  • but at what cost? I was getting bloodied  and bashed on an almost daily basis. And  

    しかし、その代償は?私はほぼ毎日のように 血まみれになり 殴られていましたそして

  • ever since the soap bar assault on the first day,  I was petrified of getting back into the showers.  


  • As a result, my smell apparently became  a little offensive to my fellow convicts


  • And okay, maybe I'd been spotted leaving the  bathroom without washing my hands a few times,  


  • but I'd only peed! And with the constant threat  of assault coming at me from every angle, maybe  

    でも私はおしっこしかしていない!絶え間なく襲い掛かってくる脅威に 怯えていたから

  • some of the little things were beginning to slip  my mind. But apparently all this wasn't so little  


  • to the other prisoners, as they weren't nearly as  accustomed to my brand of natural musk as I was


  • I think that's why I was hit over the back of the  head with a rock, and dragged into the showers,  


  • where they forcibly scrubbed me down against my  will and then shoved a bar of soap into my mouth.  


  • It was my first day all over again! They didn't  say much, save for a lot of very creative swear  


  • words, but I still got the message loud and clear. Maintain good personal hygiene,  


  • or have the snot kicked out of you. Understood. 4. Don't Break The Chow Hall Seating Arrangement


  • If the constant violence and degradation weren't  bad enough, the food in prison is terrible, too.  


  • Just a random assortment of government-mandated  slop on a TV dinner plate. After being handed  


  • my so-called meal in the chow hall, I turned to  take my seat, and suddenly noticed thatby what  


  • seemed like pure chancethe convicts in the chow  hall were all segregated by race. How strange,  


  • I thought. Maybe they've been in prison so long  they didn't even know segregation had ended

    思ったんだ隔離が終わったことを知らずに 刑務所に入っていたのでは?

  • I decided I'd do the decent thing, and go sit in  the African-American section to tell them about  


  • all the amazing racial progress that'd gone  on outside. They'd probably be delighted to  


  • hear it! But as I sat down among them, they  all just gave me some really strange looks.  


  • I decided it was probably because of all the  bruises, so I persisted with my pitch-perfect  


  • retelling of the American Civil Rights Movement. I somehow ended up with a dining fork sticking out  


  • of my cheek by the end of the anecdote, but in the  process, I learned an extremely valuable lesson


  • Don't break the chow hall seating code. Ohand don't be condescending to people, either


  • 3. Mind your own business at all times, and  use 100% of your common sense at all times


  • Hector was back in the cell with me that nightOur relationship had definitely been a little  

    その夜、ヘクターは私と一緒に独房に戻っていた。 私たちの関係は確かに少し

  • strained since the drug-fuelled violence incidentso we mainly kept to ourselves. But, in the night,  


  • I heard strange noises coming from the top  bunk. When I took a peek, I saw that Hector  


  • had somehow obtained some contraband lipstickdrawn a crude image of a woman on his pillow,  

    どうにかして 密輸の口紅を手に入れて 枕元に女性の粗野な絵を描いていた。

  • and was passionately making out with it. Of course, I found this to be hilarious,  


  • and decided to tell the story to a few fellow  convicts out in the yard. They were laughing along  


  • at all the right moments. Things were finally  going well! I was being liked! Until suddenly,  


  • I was being garrotted with a shoelace. Turns outHector had heard me talking smack, and wanted a  


  • little retribution of his own. Thankfully, the  guards intervened before he could finish the job

    彼自身の報復のためにありがたいことに 彼が仕事を終える前に 警備員が介入してきた

  • It was another important lesson for the  future: Mind your own business at all times,  


  • and use 100% of your common sense at all times. 2. Do not fraternize with convicts of another race  


  • than your own. If you do, understand that you  are putting your life or your health at risk


  • I was still feeling silly for my ham-handed  attempts to bridge the racial divide in the  


  • chow-hall, and decided to try it again  on a much smaller scale in the yard.  


  • I approached an African-American prisoner and  struck up a conversationyou know, all the  


  • standard prison small talk: His name, what he  was in for, and whether he had a favourite video  


  • from The Infographics Show. He seemed like a nice  enough guy, if a little skittish about talking to  


  • me. Maybe I was finally building up my cred! Though I realised the true reason for his  


  • nervousness afterwards, when Aryan Nation Steve  punched me really hard in the face and called  


  • me a race traitor. That's when I learned it  was probably just best to avoid fraternising  


  • with convicts who weren't the same race  as me. God, who would have guessed that  


  • prison was such a prejudiced environment? 1. Do not tell on anybody, for any reason


  • My American prison experience, on the whole, had  been horrible. If you could give prisons Yelp  


  • reviews, I'd definitely give this one zero stars.  I'd made no friends, been assaulted constantly,  

    レビューを見ても星は0つだ 友達もいないし、常に暴行されていた。

  • and just had a generally bad time. I decided  I'd finally get payback the only way I knew how:  

    そして最悪の時間を過ごした最終的に仕返しをすることにしました 私が知っている唯一の方法です

  • I'd tattle to a guard about all the sketchy things  my fellow convicts had been doing, and watch the  


  • warden rake them over the coals for it. I told them about Hector's drug running,  

    看守はそのために彼らを 炭火で炙り出したんだヘクターの麻薬取引のことを話したんだ

  • about Aryan Nation Steve's penchant for  punching, and about the countless instances of  


  • rule-breaking and contraband I'd seen on the yard. It seemed like a great idea, until that night,  


  • when I was peeling potatoes in the kitchenSuddenly, I found myself surrounded by stone-faced  

    台所でジャガイモの皮を剥いていた時のことです。 突然、私は石の顔をした

  • convicts, all of them carrying shivs. “I'm guessing you're not here to help  


  • me with the potatoes?” I asked. And one of them just sneered,  


  • and said to me, “You forgot the most important  rule of prison, kid: Snitches get stitches.” 

    そして私にこう言った "お前は刑務所の最も重要なルールを 忘れているぞ、小僧"密告者は縫う"

  • And in that moment, before receiving a very  painful Cell Block B acupuncture session,  


  • I realised that there were not only ten  crucial prison commandments that you have  


  • to follow to save your skin, but that there was  an unspoken eleventh commandment. A commandment  


  • that is arguably the most important of allMake sure you learn the other ten beforehand,  

    これは間違いなく全ての中で最も重要なことです 他の10のことを事前に学んでおくようにしましょう

  • because if you have to learn them by experience  inside, then you won't make it out alive


  • Check outMan So Violent Even Other  Prisoners Fear HimandShocking US  


  • Human Prisoner Experiments Revealed!” for more  crazy facts about what goes on behind bars!


Okay, so I really messed up. My first time on  holiday to the US from Jolly Old England, and now  



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B1 中級 日本語 刑務 ヘクター 囚人 人種 初日 スティーブ

刑務所の十戒 (The Ten Commandments of Prison)

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    林宜悉 に公開 2020 年 11 月 20 日