♪ >> Stephen: HEY, WELCOME BACK,

♪ >> スティーブンおかえりなさい

EVERYBODY.

すべての人に。

LET'S SAY HELLO TO OUR FRIEND MR. JON BATISTE.

私たちの友人であるMR.ＪＯＮ ＢＡＴＩＳＴＥ

HI, JON.

ハイ ジョン

>> HELLO, WHAT'S THE WORD, STEPHEN?

>> HELLO, WHAT'S THE WORD, STEPHEN?

WHAT'S GOING ON?

WHAT'S GOING ON?

>> Stephen: THE WORD IS ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.

>> スティーブン：御言葉は、すべてのことが可能です。

>> Jon: THAT'S RIGHT, A LOT OF HISTORY HAS BEEN MADE.

>> ジョンそうだよ、多くの歴史が作られたんだ。

COME ON, COME ON!

来てくれ、来てくれ！

>> Stephen: I WANT TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT SLIGHTLY.

>> スティーブン：件名を少し変えたい。

DID YOU EVER GET A CHANCE TO MEET ALEX TREBEK?

DID YOU EVER GET A CHANCE TO MEET ALEX TREBEK?

>> I DID NOT.

>> 私はしていません。

OF COURSE, I'VE WATCHED JEOPARDY I FEEL LIKE SIPS BEFORE I WAS

もちろん、私は、私がされた前に、私は日本青年を見てきました。

BORN.

生まれた

>> Stephen: I JUST WANTED TO TAKE A QUICK SECOND TO TELL YOU

>> スティーブンちょっと時間をおいて お伝えしたいことがありまして

AND THE PEOPLE OUT THERE A VERY QUICK STORY ABOUT ALEX.

そして、そこにいる人々......アレックスについての簡単な物語です。

ON THE VERY LAST EPISODE OF THE COLBERT REPORT, MY CHARACTER

コルバート・レポートの最後のエピソードでは、私のキャラクターは、

GETS ON A SLEIGH AND GOES OFF TO ABHAM LINCOLN AND SANTA INTO

そりに乗って、アハム・リンコルンとサンタの元へ。

ETERNITY BECAUSE EWE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THIS GUY.

ETERNITY BECAUSE EWE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THIS GUY.

WE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS SIX MONTHS BEFORE WE DID IT.

私たちはそれをする6ヶ月前から考えていました。

IT WAS TALKING TO JON STEWART AND I SAID I WANT IT TO BE

ジョン・スチュアートと話していて、私はそれが欲しいと言いました。

LINCOLN, SANTA AND ME AND THERE HAS TO BE A FOURTH PERSON, I'M

リンカーンとサンタと私 4人目の人間が必要なんだ

NOT SURE WHO I'D WANT TO SPEND ETERNITY WITH, AND HE GOES, ALEX

誰と永遠の時を過ごしたいかわからないけど、彼は行くわ、アレックス。

TREBEK.

トレベック

I SAID, THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT.

I SAID, THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT.

SO I CALLED UP ALEX AND SAY, WOULD YOU DO THIS AND HE SAID, I

それで、アレックスに電話して言ったんだけど、これをやってくれないかって。

WOULD BE HAPPY TO, BUT MAY I ASK, WHY ME?

喜んでお伺いしますが、なぜ私なのか？

I SAID, YOU'RE A CULTURAL FIGURE UP THERE WITH LINCOLN AND SANTA

I SAID, YOU'RE A CULTURAL FIGURE UP THERE WITH LINCOLN AND SANTA

AND LOOKS LIKE YOU WOULD BE A NICE GUY TO SPEND ETERN WITH,

永遠に一緒に過ごせる素敵な男だと思うよ

AND HE SAID, THEN I WOULD BE SO HAPPY TO.

そして彼は言った、それなら私も幸せになれると。

I WANT TO SAY TO EVERYONE SPENDING ETERNITY WITH ALEX

アレクスと永遠を過ごす全ての人に言いたい

TREBEK, CONGRATULATIONS, YOU HAVE A KIND MAN JOINING YOU NOW.

TREBEK, CONGRATULATIONS, YOU HAVE A KIND MAN JOINING YOU NOW.

>> Jon: AMEN, AMEN.

>> ジョンAMEN, AMEN.

>> Stephen: JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY.

>> スティーブンジョン・バティステ、エブリバディ

OF COURSE, AS MUCH AS WE'RE ALL CELEBRATING THIS UNDOUBTEDLY

もちろん 私達はこれを 祝っているのと同じくらい

GOOD NEWS, THERE'S STILL THAT NAGGING HORROR MOVIE FEELING

GOOD NEWS, THERE'S STILL THAT NAGGING HORROR MOVIE FEELING

THAT I'VE FORGOTTEN SOMETHING, AND CORONAVIRUS IS ABOUT TO JUMP

忘れていたことがあります コロナウイルスがジャンプしようとしています

OUT OF THE CLOSET WITH A CHAINSAW.

チェーンソーでクローゼットから出して

THIS WEEKEND, THE UNITED STATES PASSED 10 MILLION CORONAVIRUS

今週末、米国は１００００万匹のコロナウイルスを通過しました。

CASES.

ケースです。

AND "THE U.S. HAS THE MOST REPORTED COVID-19 CASES OF ANY

そして、「米国は世界で最も報告されたCOVID-19事件を抱えている。

COUNTRY IN THE WORLD."

"世界の国"

AAAHHH!

うわああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああ

, AAAHHH!

ああああああああああ！

, BUT, FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE

, BUT, FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE

THIS ADMINISTRATION SURRENDERED TO THE VIRUS, THERE IS HOPE THAT

THIS ADMINISTRATION SURRENDERED TO THE VIRUS, THERE IS HOPE THAT

THINGS WILL GET BETTER.

THINGS WILL GET BETTER.

>> ON MONDAY, I WILL NAME A GROUP OF LEADING SCIENTISTS

>> 月曜日、私は一流の科学者のグループを指名します。

AND EXPERTS AS TRANSITION ADVISORS TO HELP TAKE THE

AND EXPERTS AS TRANSITION ADVISORS TO HELP TAKE THE

BIDEN-HARRIS COVID PLAN AND CONVERT IT INTO AN ACTION

BIDEN-HARRIS COVID PLAN AND CONVERT IT INTO AN ACTION

BLUEPRINT THAT WILL START ON JANUARY 20, 2021.

2021年1月20日よりBLUEPRINT THAT WILL START ON JANUARY 2021。

THAT PLAN WILL BE BUILT ON BEDROCK SCIENCE.

THAT PLAN WILL BE BUILT ON BEDROCK SCIENCE.

>> STEPHEN: THAT'S GREAT!

>> それは良かった！

AND, IF WE ACCEPT ALL THE BEDROCK SCIENCE, WE CAN ALSO GET

そして、私たちがすべてのベッドロックの科学を受け入れるならば、私たちはまた、得ることができます。

OUR CARS OFF FOSSIL FUELS!

私たちの車は化石燃料を使用していません!

AND BIDEN MADE GOOD ON HIS WACKY NEW "TRUST SCIENTISTS" PLAN

AND BIDEN MADE GOOD ON HIS WACKY NEW "TRUST SCIENTISTS" PLAN

TODAY, WHEN HE UNVEILED HIS COVID-19 ADVISORY BOARD. A GROUP

今日、彼はCOVID-19 ADVISORY BOARDを公開しました。グループ

OF PUBLIC HEALTH EXPERTS-- ALMOST ALL OF WHOM ARE DOCTORS.

OF PUBLIC HEALTH EXPERTS-- ALMOST ALL OF WHOM ARE DOCTORS.

I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN TRUST THIS GROUP.

私はこのグループを信頼できるかどうかわかりません。

DOESN'T HAVE ONE PRESIDENTIAL SON-IN-LAW AND, FARCE I CAN

大統領の義理の息子が一人もいないし、私にもできる。

TELL, NONE OF THEM INVENTED A PILLOW.

誰もピローを発明した者はいない

THIS BOARD IS A WHO'S WHO OF WHO'S SMART.

このボードは誰が賢いかの誰もが知っている。

YOU GOT VIVEYK MORTHEE, SURGEON GENERAL UNDER OBAMA, MARCELLA

オバマ政権下の軍医将校とマーセラを 逮捕しました

NUNEZ-SMITH, FROM YALE, AND MOST DELICIOUS OF ALL RICK BRIGHT,

ヌネススミス イェール大学出身 そしてリック・ブライトが一番おいしい

"THE TRUMP WHISTLEBLOWER," WHOSE "DIRE EARLY WARNINGS ABOUT

"トランプの笛吹機 "は、その "DIRECTIVE EARARLY WARNINGS "についての警告を発しています。

THE PANDEMIC WENT IGNORED," AND WHO WAS "ULTIMATELY FIRED AFTER

パンデミックは無視された」「究極のクビになったのは誰？

SPEAKING OUT."

SPEAKING OUT"

RICK BRITE.

リック・ブライト

OOH, THAT'S GOTTA STING, MR. TRUMP!

ああ、それは刺さった、MR.トランプ！

NOT ONLY IS BIDEN TAKING YOUR JOB, HE'S ALSO DATING YOUR EX!

バイデンはあなたの仕事を取っているだけでなく、 彼はあなたのEXとデートしている！

AND YOU KNOW THEY SPEND ALL THEIR TIME LAUGHING ABOUT HOW

AND YOU KNOW THEY SPEND ALL THEIR TIME LAUGHING ABOUT HOW

TINY YOUR PLAN WAS.

TINY YOUR PLAN WAS.

BUT DON'T WORRY, AND THEN ALSO WORRY, BECAUSE THIS

しかし、心配しないでください、そして、それからも心配してください、これが原因で

ADMINISTRATION IS STILL IN OFFICE, AND THEY ARE HARD AT

ADMINISTRATIONはまだオフィスにいて、大変なことになっています。

WORK PRETENDING TO BE HARD AT WORK.

仕事が苦手なふりをして仕事をしている。

BECAUSE "TODAY, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN WEEKS, MIKE PENCE HOSTED

BECAUSE "TODAY, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN WEEKS, MIKE PENCE HOSTED

A WHITE HOUSE CORONAVIRUS TASK FORCE MEETING."

"ホワイトハウス コロナウイルスタスクフォース会議"

AWWWWKKWWAARD (AS PENCE)

ｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗ（アズペンス

"FIRST ITEM ON THE AGENDA: IS ANYONE HERE HIRING?"

"FIRST ITEM ON THE AGENDA: IS ANYONE HERE HIRING?"

MEANWHILE, ACTUAL PEOPLE WHO KNOW STUFF ARE DOING... THINGS.

一方で、実際に知識を持った人たちがやっているのは...事をしています。

PFIZER, THE PEOPLE WHO MAKE VIAGRA, JUST ANNOUNCED THAT IN

ビアグラを作っているPFIZERが、今、発表しました。

TRIALS, ITS "VACCINE WAS MORE THAN 90% EFFECTIVE IN PREVENTING

臨床試験では、その「VACCINEは90％以上の予防効果がありました。

THE DISEASE."

THE DISEASE."

THE FASTEST SUCCESSFUL VACCINE TRIAL OF ALL TIME!

史上最速の成功を収めたVACCINE試験!

AFTER HEARING THAT, IF YOUR ERECTION LASTS LONGER THAN FOUR

それを聞いた後で、もしあなたの選挙が4時間以上続くならば、

HOURS, SAME.

時間は同じだ

AND PFIZER'S COVID TRIAL ISN'T THE ONLY GOOD NEWS.

AND PFIZER'S COVID TRIAL ISN'T THE ONLY GOOD NEWS.

TODAY "THE DOW SURGED MORE THAN 800 POINTS IN ITS BIGGEST RALLY

今日は "ダウはその最大のラリーで800ポイント以上急騰した

IN FIVE MONTHS ON THE PFIZER VACCINE NEWS" AND THE NEWS THAT

IN FIVE MONTHS ON THE PFIZER VACCINE NEWS" AND THE NEWS THAT

"JOE BIDEN WAS DECLARED VICTORIOUS."

"ジョー・バイデンは勝利を宣言された"

(AS BIDEN) "HEY WALL STREET, HOW YA LIKE ME

(AS BIDEN) "HEY WALL STREET, HOW YA LIKE ME

DOW?" ( LAUGHTER )

DOW?" ( LAUGHTER )

AND, OF COURSE, THE PRESIDENT CHIMED IN "STOCK MARKET UP BIG,

そして、当然のことながら、大統領は "株式市場は大きく上昇する "でchimed。

VACCINE COMING SOON.

VACCINE COMING SOON.

REPORT 90% EFFECTIVE.

REPORT 90% EFFECTIVE.

SUCH GREAT NEWS!" WELL IF YOU THINK THAT'S GREAT

SUCH GREAT NEWS!" WELL IF YOU THINK THAT'S GREAT

NEWS, WAIT 'TIL YOU HEAR WHO'S GONNA BE PRESIDENT IN JANUARY!

NEWS, WAIT 'TIL YOU HEAR WHO'S GONNA BE PRESIDENT IN JANUARY!

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH DEMOCRATIC STAR, AND THE WOMAN

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH DEMOCRATIC STAR, AND THE WOMAN

WHO FLIPPED GEORGIA, STACEY ABRAMS.

WHO FLIPPED GEORGIA, STACEY ABRAMS.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪