WELCOME TO THE LATE LATE SHOW.

WELCOME TO THE LATE LATE SHOW.

I HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD THURSDAY.

I HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD THURSDAY.

HERE WE ARE.

ここにいる

[LAUGHTER] >> James: YOU KNOW, TWO

ジェームズ.知ってるだろう、二人

FULL DAYS LATER, AND AS OF OUR TAPING THIS AFTERNOON,

全日後の今日の午後のテーピングの時点では

RIGHT NOW, STILL NO WINNER HAS BEEN DECLARED IN THE

今のところ、まだ勝者が決定されていません。

PRESIDENTIAL RACE.

PRESIDENTIAL RACE.

VOTES ARE STILL BEING COUNTED.

投票はまだカウントされています。

NEW NUMBERS ARE COMING EN. IN.

新しい番号が出てきました。IN.

>>> HONESTLY, I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW IN THE WEEDS I

>>> 正直なところ、私は私が雑草でどのように信じられません。

AM IN ON THIS.

私はこれに参加しています。

I THOUGHT, I HOPE I CAN GET MORE VOTES THAN TRUMP.

私は思った、私は私が多くの票を得ることができることを願っていますが、TRUMPよりも多くの票を得ることができます。

AND NOW I'M FEELING GOOD, ABOUT THE MAIL-IN VOTES

そして今、私は良い気分だ メールでの投票について

FROM SUBURBAN PENNSYLVANIA.

ペンシルバニア郊外からです

IT IS GOING TO COME DOWN TO ARIZONA AND COOK

アリゾナに来て料理をしようとしています

COUNTY.

郡。

I CAN TELL YOU, THE WHOLE WAY.

I CAN TELL YOU, THE WHOLE WAY.

REG, HAVE YOU BEEN ABLE TO STAY AS ZEN THROUGH THIS

REG、あなたはこれまでずっと 禅のままでいられましたか？

AS YOU WERE ON ELECTION NIGHT?

AS YOU WERE ON ELECTION NIGHT?

>> YEAH.

>> YEAH.

I JUST PRETEND I'M IN ANOTHER TIME PERIOD.

私はただ、私は別の時代にいるように見せかけている。

>> James: YEAH.

>> ジェームズジェームス: はい。

>> IT IS JUST ANOTHER REGULAR DAY.

>> ただの普通の日だよ。

>> James: THAT'S THE RIGHT WAY TO DO IT BECAUSE

>> ジェームズそれが正しいやり方だからです。

THERE IS SOMET NOTHING WE CAN DO.

私たちにできることは何もないわ

REMOVE YOURSELF FROM THE EQUATION.

REMOVE YOURSELF FROM THE EQUATION.

YOU'LL FIND OUT WHO WON.

誰が勝ったかは、あなたが見つけることができます。

>> THAT'S TRUE.

>> それは本当だよ。

>> James: TONIGHT ON THE SHOW, WE'LL BE TALKING TO

>> ジェームス今夜のショーでは、私たちが話します

THE ALWAYS BRILLIANT TIG NOTARO, AND WE HAVE A

いつも元気なティグ・ノータロー、そして私たちには

PERFORMANCE FROM CHRISTINE AND THE QUEENS.

クリスティーヌと女王のパフォーマンス。

WE DON'T KNOW WHO THE NEXT PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED

次の大統領が誰なのか分からない

STATES WILL BE.

STATES WILL BE.

I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM.

ここがどこなのかわからない。

I NEED TO KNOW WHERE I'M GOING TO BE.

自分がどこに行くのか知る必要がある

AM I GOING TO BE ANGRY FOR THE NEXT FOUR YEARS OR

AM I GOING TO BE ANGRY FOR THE NEXT FOUR YEARS OR

JUST YES, SURE, WHATEVER.

そうだな、そうだな、何でもいいから。

[LAUGHTER] >> James: EVERYBODY

ジェームズ。誰もが

AROUND ME JUST SEEMS TO DIGGING THROUGH POLLING

私の周りでは、投票をしているようにしか見えない。

STATE WEBSITES FOR INFO.

州のウェブサイトで情報を提供しています。

I FEEL ESPECIALLY SORRY FOR HUNTER BIDEN.

I FEEL ESPECIALLY SORRY FOR HUNTER BIDEN.

HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A LAPTOP ANYMORE.

HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A LAPTOP ANYMORE.

[LAUGHTER] >> James: WE'RE STILL

ジェームズ.WE RE RE STILL

WAITING FOR RESULTS FROM A HANDFUL OF KEY STATES,

鍵となる州の数十分の一の結果を待っています。

INCLUDING NEVADA, A STATE WHICH COULD POSSIBLY PUT

ネバダ州を含む。

BIDEN OVER THE TOP.

BIDEN OVER THE TOP。

NEVADA AS ALL-NIGHT CASINOS AND ALL-NIGHT

NEVADA AS ALL-NIGHT CASINOS AND ALL-NIGHT

WEDDING CHAPELS, BUT WHEN IT COMES TO COUNTING

結婚式のチャペルは、しかし、それがカウントになると

VOTES, LET'S ALL GET A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP AND

VOTES, LET'S ALL GET A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP AND

COME BACK TOMORROW.

明日にでも来てくれ

[LAUGHTER] >> James: I'VE ONLY BEEN

ジェームス.I VE VE ONLY BEEN

IN THIS COUNTRY A SHORT TIME, I'M CERTAINLY NO

この国の短い時間では、私は絶対にない。

EXPERT ON HISTORY, BUT THIS REMINDS ME OF

歴史の専門家だが、これを見ていると思い出してしまう。

CONTENTIOUS ELECTION IN 1876BETWEEN SAMUEL TILDEN

サムエル・チルデンとの間の1876年の連続選挙

AND RUTHERFORD B. HAYES.

とラタフォード・B・ヘイズ。

WE ALL KNOW HOW MESSY THAT GOT.

WE ALL KNOW HOW MESSY THAT GOT.

REGARDLESS OF THE OUTCOME, IT HAS BEEN AN HISTORY RIC

結果はともかくとしても、それは歴史に残るものでした。

ELECTION.

選挙。

IS JOE BIDEN HAS RECEIVED MORE VOTES THAN ANY OTHER

ジョー・バイデンは他の誰よりも多くの票を得ている

PRESIDENT IN ALL OF HISTORY.

PRESIDENT IN ALL OF HISTORY.

BUT BEFORE HE GETS TOO COCKY, REMEMBER WE HAVEN'T

でも 興奮する前に 忘れるなよ 俺たちはまだ生きてるんだ

COUNTED ALL OF KANYE'S BOOKS.

COUNTED ALL OF KANYE'S BOOKS.

AND THIS EVENING, AS WE WERE STARTING TO TAPE THE

そして今晩、私たちがテープを撮り始めた時に

SHOW, THE PRESIDENT SPOKE FROM THE WHITE HOUSE,

SHOW, THE PRESIDENT SPOKE FROM THE WHITE HOUSE,

WHERE HE OPENED WITH THIS JAW-DROPPING STATEMENT.

WHERE HE OPENED WITH THIS JAW-DROPPING STATEMENT.

>> President Trump: IF YOU COUNT THE LEGAL VOTES,

>> トランプ大統領あなたが法的な投票をカウントする場合。

I EASILY WIN.

I EASILY WIN.

IF YOU COUNT THE ILLEGAL VOTES, THEY CAN TRY TO

不法投票者を数えれば、彼らは試みをすることができます。

STEAL THE ELECTION FROM US.

私たちから選挙を盗む。

>> James: I MEAN, TRUMP HASN'T EVEN LOST YET.

>> ジェームスつまり、トランプはまだ負けていません。

THIS IS HIM JUST WARMING UP.

これは温まっているだけだ

LIKE IF THIS WAS AN '80s ACTION MOVIE, THAT SPEECH

これが80年代のアクション映画だったら、あの台詞は...

SHOULD BE THE PART WHERE THE BAD GUY SUDDENLY

SHOULD BE THE PART WHERE THE BAD GUY SUDDENLY

REALIZES HE IS SURPEDED SURROUNDED,AND HE TAKES A HUMAN

囲まれていることに気づき、人間の姿になった。

SHIELD AND SAYS, I'M WALKING OUT HERE ONE WAY

SHIELD AND SAYS, I'M WALKING OUT HERE ONE WAY, I'M WALKING OUT ONE WAY, I'M WALK OUT HERE

OR THE OTHER.

OR THE OTHER.

THE WHOLE THING WAS RIDICULOUSLY TROUBLED.

THE WHOLE THING WAS RIDICULOUSLY TROUBLED.

>> President Trump: AS YOU KNOW, I'VE CLAIMED

>> トランプ大統領ご存知のように、私は主張しました。

CERTAIN STATES, AND HE IS CLAIMING STATES, BUT

特定の州、彼は州を主張していますが

ULTIMATELY I HAVE THE FEELING THAT JUDGES ARE

ULTIMATELY I HAVE THE FEELING THAT JUDGES ARE

GOING TO HAVE TO RULE.

GOING TO HAVE TO RULE.

THERE HAVE BEEN A LOT OF SHENANIGANS, AND WE CAN'T

たくさんのシェナニガンがいて、私たちはできません。

STAND FOR THAT IN OUR COUNTRY.

私たちの国でそれを支持します。

>> James: THE ONLY PERSON WHO SHOULD LEGALLY

>> ジェームズ法的に許される唯一の人物

BE ALLOWED TO USE THE WORD SHENANIGANS IS JOE BIDEN.

BE ALLOWED TO USE THE WORD SHENANIGANS IS JOE BIDEN.

UNDER THE MALARKEY CLAUSE OF 2020.

２０２０年マラキー条約の下で

WHEN LAUNCHING A FULL-SCALE ASSAULT ON THE

本格的な攻撃を開始した場合

DEMOCRATIC VOTING PROCESS, ALWAYS GOOD TO THROW A

民主党の投票プロセスは、常に投げるために良い

FOLKSY WORD IN THERE.

FOLKSY WORD IN THERE。

IT MAKES THE WHOLE THING A BIT MORE PALATABLE.

それは、全体を少しだけ柔らかくしてくれる。

SHENANIGANS, AS TRUMP IS SAYING THIS THAT JOE BIDEN

シェナニガンズ、トランプがジョー・バイデンのことを言っているように

IS TRYING TO STEAL THE ELECTION BY DING-DONGING

選挙をチンドンすることで 選挙を盗もうとしている

THE WHITE HOUSE.

ホワイトハウス

AND I THINK THIS IS IMPORTANT, THOSE PEOPLE

そして、私はこれが重要だと思っています、その人たち。

FROM CNN, WHICH IS THE ONLY NETWORK THAT CARRIED

CNNが唯一の放送局です

THE PRESIDENT'S SPEECH.

大統領のスピーチ

CBS, NBC, AND ABC REFUSED TO AIR THE SPEECH BECAUSE

CBS, NBC, ABCは スピーチの放送を拒否した なぜなら

IT WAS SO FULL OF MISLEADING INFORMATION.

誤解を招くような情報でいっぱいだった。

I DON'T IF I'VE EVER EVEN HEARD OF SOMETHING LIKE

こんな話を聞いたことがなければ知らない

THAT.

THAT.

HAVE YOU, IAN?

HAVE YOU, IAN?

>> NO.

>> ω・)ﾉ。

THAT'S THE FIRST FOR ME.

THAT'S THE FIRST FOR ME.

>> James: WHAT WE'RE SAYING IS THAT THE NETWORK

>> ジェームス私たちが言っているのは、ネットワークのことです。

THAT AIRS THE BACHELORETTE THINKS THE PRESIDENT'S

バチェロレッタは大統領のことを考えている

SPEECH WAS BENEATH THE AMERICAN PEOPLE.

スピーチはアメリカ国民のものだった。

THERE IS A PERFECT PHOTO IN THE PRESS ROOM, LOOK AT

プレスルームに完璧な写真があります、見てください。

THIS, IT IS DONALD TRUMP WITH AN EXIT SIGN.

これはドナルド・トランプと 出口のサインだ

[LAUGHTER] >> James: NOW THAT'S

ジェームズ。今だよ

SHENANIGANS.

ＳＨＥＮＡＮＩＧＡＮＳ。

[LAUGHTER] >> James: YOU KNOW

ジェームズ.知ってるだろ

THINGS ARE GOING BAD WHEN EVEN THE PRESS ROOM'S FURN

THINGS ARE GOING BAD WHEN EVEN THE PRESS ROOM'S FURN

FURNISHINGS ARE ROASTING YOU.

FURNISHINGS ARE ROASTING YOU.

TRUMP SUPPORTERS IN ARIZONA AND MICHIGAN WERE

アリゾナ州とミシガン州のトランプ支持者は

OUT THERE LAST NIGHT SAYING...WELL, EVERYTHING.

OUT THERE LAST NIGHT SAYING...WELL, EVERYTHING.

>> COUNT THE VOTES!

>> 投票を数えろ！

>> COUNT THE VOTES!

>> 投票を数えろ！

[YELLING] >> James: I'M JUST GLAD

ジェームズ.I'MUST JUST GLAD

EVERYONE IS ON THE SAME PAGE, YOU KNOW?

EVERYONE IS ON THE SAME PAGE, YOU KNOW?

BY THE WAY, THOSE TRUMP SUPPORTERS IN ARIZONA WERE

ところで、アリゾナのトランプ支持者たちは

ALSO ANGRY AT FOX NEWS BECAUSE THE NETWORK HAD

ALSO ANGRY AT FOX NEWS BECAUSE THE NETWORK HAD

CALLED THE STATE FOR JOE BIDEN ON ELECTION NIGHT.

CALLED THE STATE FOR JOE BIDEN ON ELECTION NIGHT.

AT ONE POINT THEY STARTED SHOUTING SHAME ON FOX.

ある時点で彼らはFOXの恥を叫び始めました。

>> SHAME ON FOX!

>> FOXに恥を知れ!

SHAME ON FOX!

FOXの恥！

SHAME ON FOX!

FOXの恥！

>> James: JOKES ON THEM BECAUSE NO ONE AT FOX NEWS

>> ジェームズFOXニュースには誰もいないので、ジョークを言っています。

HAS AN OUNCE OF SHAME.

恥のオンスを持っています。

SHAME ON FOX.

FOXの恥。

STOP THE COUNT.

STOP THE COUNT.

HONESTLY, THIS IS STARTING TO SOUND MORE LIKE A

HONESTLY, THIS IS STARTING TO SOUND MORE LIKE A

TERRIBLE SERIES OF CHILDREN'S BOOKS.

TERRIBLE SERIES OF CHILDREN'S BOOKS.

[LAUGHTER] >> James: COME ON NOW,

ジェームズ.今すぐ来いよ。

WE'RE GOING TO READ "STOP THE COUNT."

WE'RE GOING TO READ "STOP THE COUNT."

ALL RIGHT, YOU WANT TO READ "COUNT THE VOTES,"

ALL RIGHT, YOU WANT TO READ "COUNT THE VOTES,"

FINE.

ファイン

"SHAME ON FOX," YEAH, WE CAN READ "SHAME ON FOX."

"FOXの恥 "を読めるぞ

IAN, WHAT ARE REPUBLICANS GOING TO WATCH IF THEY

IAN, WHAT ARE REPUBLICANS GOING TO WATCH IF THEY

GIVE UP ON FOX NEWS?

FOXニュースを諦める？

>> I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW.

>> >> 私は正直に知らない。

THEY CAN LISTEN TO MY PODCAST.

彼らは私のポッドキャストを聞くことができます。

>> James: HERE WE GO.

>>ジェームスさあ、行くぞ。

MY WEIGHT, SO I'M BASICALLY TRUMP.

私の体重、だから私は基本的にトランプです。

>> James: IT LOOKS LIKE REPUBLICANS WILL END UP

>> ジェームス共和党が終わるように見える

GAINING QUITE A FEW SEATS IN THE HOUSE, AND AS A

家の中でかなりの数の席を得て、そしてとして

RESULT SOME DEMOCRATS ARE PRIVATELY CONSIDERING

RESULT SOME DEMOCRATS ARE PRIVATELY CONSIDERING

PLANS TO CHALLENGE NANCY PELOSI AS SPEAKER OF THE

ナンシー・ペローシ氏に、講演者としての挑戦を計画しています。

HOUSE.

HOUSE.

COMMON, SHE IS ONLY 80 YEARS OLD.

まだ80歳なのよ

YOU WOULDN'T BENCH LEBRON IN THIS PRIME.

あなたは、このプライムでレブロンをベンチにしないだろう。

[LAUGHTER] >> James: THE CHALLENGER

[笑] >> ジェームズ.チャレンジャー

COULD BE CONGRESSMAN AKEEM JEFFRIES, BUT I'LL

アキーム・ジェフリーズ下院議員でも良いが、私がやる。

WITHHOLD JUDGMENT UNTIL I CAN SEE HOW SARCASTICLY HE

彼がどのように卑劣な態度をとるか分かるまで 判決を保留します

CAN CLAP.

CAN CLAP.

A RETAILER IN THE U.K. HAS INTRODUCED A CHRISTMAS

英国の小売業者がクリスマス仕様の商品を発売しました。

SCENE CRONUT, AND IT TRENDED BECAUSE OF THE

シーン・クロナット、そしてそれが原因でトレンドになった。

NAME THEY DECIDED TO GIVE IT.

名前はそれを与えることにしました。

IT IS FEATURING SANTA'S BELT REGION, AND THEY'RE

サンタさんのベルト地域を特集しています。

CALLING IT SANTA'S YUMNUTS.

CALLING IT SANTA'S YUMNUTS.

>> WHAT?

>> WHAT?

>> James: I'M NOT JOKING.

>> ジェームズ冗談じゃないよ。

I COULD MAKE IT PAST THE BELT BUCKLE, BUT I CAN'T

ベルトバックルを乗り越えられたけど、できない。

MAKE IT PAST THAT NAME.

MAKE IT PAST THAT NAME.

SANTA'S YUMNUTS.

SANTA'S YUMNUTS。

IT'S A BELT BUCKLE, AND WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO CALL

ベルトのバックルなんだけど、何て言うの？

IT?

ＩＴ？

SANTA'S YUMNUTS.

SANTA'S YUMNUTS。

SOUNDS LIKE SANTA IS TURNING INTO A BIT OF A

サンタさんがちょっとしたオバサンになったみたいだな

HO, HO, HO, HO, HO.

HO、HO、HO、HO、HO、HO。

GOOD NIGHT, GUYS, WE'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.

GOOD NIGHT, GUYS, WE'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.

[LAUGHTER] [APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]

[APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]

>> James: THERE IS NOBODY IN THAT MARKETING

>> ジェームス誰もいないんだよ

MACHINE, IN THE BRAINSTORM SESSIONS, HAD ANY

MACHINE, IN THE BRAINSTORM SESSIONS, HAD ANY

OBJECTIONS TO THIS.

OBJECTIONS TO THIS.

SANTA'S YUMNUTS, COOL.

SANTA'S YUMNUTS、クール。

AND THE SLOGAN IS GOING TO BE, WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO

スローガンは、そうなるだろう。

SWALLOW SANTA'S YUMNUTS.

SWALLOW SANTA'S YUMNUTS。

WOULD YOU EAT SANTA'S YUMNUTS?

サンタのヤムナッツを食べる？

>> YEAH.

>> YEAH.

[LAUGHTER]

[笑]