I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.

あなたのホスト、ステファン・コルバートです。

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I RARELY SAY THIS, AND I NEVER MEAN IT,

紳士淑女の皆さん、私はめったに言いませんが、決してそんなつもりはありません。

BUT WE HAVE BREAKING NEWS.

BUT WE HAVE BREAKING NEWS.

JUST MOMENTS BEFORE I WALKED INTO THE STUDIO I'M IN RIGHT

JUST MOMENTS BEFORE I WALKED INTO THE STUDIO I'M IN RIGHT

NOW, I LEARNED SOMETHING SHOCKING.

NOW, I LEARNED SOMETHING SHOCKING.

TWO YEARS AGO-- YOU MAY REMEMBER,

TWO YEARS AGO-- YOU MAY REMEMBER,

THE NEW YORK TIMES PUBLISHED AN OP-ED CALLED "I AM PART OF THE

ニューヨーク・タイムズ紙は、「私は一部の人間である」と題して、主な記事を発表しました。

RESISTANCE: INSIDE THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION" BY SOMEBODY

RESISTANCE: INSIDE THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION" BY SOMEBODY

KNOWN ONLY AS "ANONYMOUS."

"アノニマス "としてしか知られていない

PEOPLE HAVE BEEN GUESSING WHO THIS EVER SINCE IT WAS RELEASED.

発売されて以来、人々はこれが誰のものか推測していました。

WELL, THIS AFTERNOON ANONYMOUS WAS REVEALED AND IT'S MILES

さて、この後アノニマスが明らかにされ、それはマイルズです。

TELLER.

TELLER.

STAR OF "WHIPLASH," THE BELOVED "FANTASTIC FOUR" SERIES, AND THE

ウィプラッシュ」のスター、「ファンタスティック・フォー」シリーズのスター、そして

UPCOMING "TOP GUN" REBOOT.

"トップガン "の再起動が決定しました。

I HAVE NO IDEA HOW MILES TELLER GOT SUCH INTIMATE DETAILS OF

何千人もの電話ラーが どうやって詳細な情報を手に入れたのか 見当もつかない

CLASSIFIED INFORMATION-- MAYBE TOM CRUISE TOLD HIM-- BUT THE

分類された情報... トム・クルーズが教えてくれたのかもしれないが...

TRUMP ADMINISTRATION HAS GOT TO BE REELING RIGHT NOW FROM--

TRUMP ADMINISTRATION HAS GOT TO BE REELING RIGHT NOW FROM--

I'M SORRY, WHAT?

I'M SORRY, WHAT?

AND I'M BEING TOLD IT'S NOT MILES TELLER.

マイルズ・テラーではないと言われた

THEN WHO IS IT?

THEN WHO IS IT?

MILES TAYLOR?

マイルズ・テイラー？

WHO'S THAT?

誰だ？

( LAUGHTER ) THE GUY FROM D.H.S. WHO LEFT

( LAUGHTER ) D. H. S.

LIKE A YEAR AGO AND ALREADY ENDORSED JOE BIDEN?

LIKE A YEAR AGO AND ALREADY ENDORSED JOE BIDEN?

WELL, THAT'S NOT NEWS.

WELL, THAT'S NOT NEWS.

THAT'S RIDICULOUS-- CALL ME WHEN MILES TELLER DOES

THAT'S RIDICULOUS-- CALL ME WHEN MILES TELLER DOES

SOMETHING.

SOMETHING.

THAT KID'S GOT HEAT.

その子は熱を持ってる

SORRY.

すみません。

THIS IS WHY I NEVER SAY "BREAKING NEWS."

THIS IS WHY I NEVER SAY "BREAKING NEWS."

I OVER-REACTED, IN THAT I REACTED AT ALL.

過剰反応してしまったんです。

THAT'S ON ME.

俺のせいだ

I APOLOGIZE, LET'S GO ON.

謝罪するわ 続けましょう

WHERE WAS I?

ここはどこだっけ？

COFFEE.

コーヒー

ONE SECOND.

ちょっと待って

( LAUGHTER ) RIGHT, OKAY, YEAH.

( LAUGHTER ) RIGHT, OKAY, YEAH.

IT IS OCTOBER 28, THE FINAL WEDNESDAY BEFORE THE

IT IS OCTOBER 28, THE FINAL WEDNESDAY BEFORE THE

PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION, OR, DEPENDING ON WHO WINS, THE FINAL

大統領選挙、または、誰が勝つかに依存して、最終的には

WEDNESDAY.

水曜

BECAUSE EMOTIONS ARE RUNNING HIGH, AND SO ARE THE VOTE

BECAUSE EMOTIONS ARE RUNNING HIGH, AND SO ARE THE VOTE

TOTALS, BECAUSE WITH SIX DAYS STILL TO GO, THANKS TO EARLY

合計では、まだ6日あるので、早い者勝ちです。

VOTING, MORE THAN HALF THE TOTAL 2016 VOTE IS ALREADY IN.

投票、2016年の総投票数の半分以上を占めています。

THAT'S PRETTY IMPRESSIVE.

それは非常に印象的です。

BUT IF 2016 TAUGHT US ANYTHING, IT'S THAT "MORE THAN HALF"

しかし、2016年が私たちに何かを教えてくれたとしたら、それは「半分以上」ということです。

SOMETIMES ISN'T ENOUGH.

SOMETIMES ISN'T ENOUGH.

SO FAR, BIDEN IS OFF TO A GOOD START, IN PART BECAUSE 2020 HAS

これまでのところ、BIDENは良いスタートを切っています。

BEEN A RECORD-SHATTERING YEAR FOR EARLY VOTING AMONG YOUNG

BEEN A RECORD-SHATTERING YEAR FOR EARLY VOTING AMONG YOUNG

PEOPLE.

PEOPLE.

THAT IS DOPE TO THE WAP, MY TUBULAR YOUNGLINGS!

THAT IS DOPE TO THE WAP, MY TUBULAR YOUNGLINGS!

( LAUGHTER ) THIS CAMPAIGN HAS GONE ON FOR AN

( LAUGHTER ) このキャンペーンは1年前から続いている

ETERNITY.

ETERNITY.

AND 2020 IS PROJECTED TO BE MOST EXPENSIVE U.S. ELECTION EVER,

そして2020年は、これまでで最も費用のかかる米国の選挙になると予測されています。

WITH SPENDING AS HIGH AS $14 BILLION.

140億ドルのような高額な支出で

AND THAT'S "BEFORE" YOU COUNT MONEY FOR BOOZE AND ZOOM

ブーズとズームのためにお金を計算する「前に」です。

SESSIONS WITH MY PSYCHIC.

私の心理学者とのセッション。

WHO'S GOING TO WIN, ESMERELDA?

WHO'S GOING TO WIN, ESMERELDA?

MOST OF THE CAMPAIGN CASH HAS GONE TO TV ADS.

選挙資金のほとんどはテレビ広告に使われています。

AND THANKS TO A NEW REPORT, WE'RE LEARNING SOME MORE ABOUT

AND THANKS TO A NEW REPORT, WE'RE LEARNING SOME MORE ABOUT

WHAT TV SHOWS THE CANDIDATES ARE ADVERTISING ON.

候補者たちが宣伝しているテレビ番組は？

THERE'S A LOT OF SIMILARITIES.

似たようなものがたくさんある。

BOTH CAMPAIGNS ARE RUNNING A LOT OF ADS ON RERUNS OF "THE BIG

両方のキャンペーンは、 "ビッグ "の再放送で広告の多くを実行している

BANG THEORY."

"バン理論"

THAT'S A LITTLE SURPRISING.

THAT'S A LITTLE SURPRISING.

TRUMP'S NO FAN OF SCIENCE.

トランプは科学のファンではありません。

BUT SO FAR NO ONE'S MADE "THE BIG BANG IS A CHINESE HOAX."

しかし、今のところ誰も "ビッグバンは中国のホラ話だ" とは言っていない

BUT THE CAMPAIGNS HAVE BEEN TARGETING SOME DIFFERENT

しかし、キャンペーンは異なるターゲットを狙っていました。

AUDIENCES.

オーディエンス

FOR INSTANCE, TRUMP HAS PRIORITIZED RERUNS OF "THE ANDY

序でに、トランプは「アンディ」の再放送を優先しています。

GRIFFITH SHOW," WHICH RAN FROM 1960 TO 1968.

1960年から1968年まで続いた「グリフィス・ショー」。

NOT TO BE OUTDONE, BIDEN STARTED ADVERTISING ON THE "TRAIN

遅ればせながら、BIDENは「TRAIN」の広告を始めました。

ENTERING THE STATION" CHANNEL.

ENTERING THE STATION" CHANNEL.

"I WAS ON THAT TRAIN.

"I WAS ON THAT TRAIN.

GOT INTO A FISTFIGHT WITH ONE OF THE LUMIERE BROTHERS.

GOT INTO A FISTFIGHT WITH ONE OF THE LUMIERE BROTHERS.

RELEASE THE DIRECTOR'S CUT!

ディレクターズカットをリリース!

COME ON, JACQUES!" BUT THERE'S ONE SHOW THAT TRUMP

COME ON, JACQUES!" BUT THERE'S ONE SHOW THAT TRUMP

HAS PUT A LOT OF AD DOLLARS INTO THAT KIND OF SURPRISED ME.

私を驚かせたのは、その種類に多くのアド・ドルを投入したことです。

BECAUSE TRUMP HAS AIRED ALMOST 1,200 COMMERCIALS ON "THE LATE

トランプは、"レイト "でほとんどの1200のコマーシャルを放映しているからです。

SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."

SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."

WOW.

うわー。

HAS HE SEEN HOW I TALK ABOUT HIM ON THIS SHOW?

私がこの番組で彼の話をするのを見たのか？

WELL, I GUESS IT WOULDN'T BE THE FIRST TIME TRUMP'S PAID SOMEONE

WELL, I GUESS IT WOULDN'T BE THE FIRST TIME TRUMP'S PAID SOMEONE

TO SPANK HIM.

彼を罰するために

( "GROOVE IS IN THE HEART" ) >> THIS SLAM PAID FOR BY DONALD

( " GROOVE IS IN THE HEART" ) >> THIS SLAM PAID FOR BY DONALD

TRUMP SLAM!

TRUMP SLAM!

>> Stephen: ON THE RALLY FRONT, TRUMP IS SPENDING HIS TIME

SHORING UP STATES HE WON IN 2016.

SHORING UP STATES HE WON IN 2016.

YESTERDAY, TRUMP WAS IN MICHIGAN, WHERE HE SAID

先日、トランプはミシガン州にいました。

SOMETHING A LITTLE ODD FOR A SITTING PRESIDENT.

SOMETHING A LITTLE ODD FOR A SITTING PRESIDENT.

>> I DON'T SOUND LIKE A POLITICIAN BECAUSE I'M NOT A

>> 私は政治家ではないので、政治家のようには聞こえません。

POLITICIAN.

POLITICIAN.

I NEVER WANTED TO BE A POLITICIAN.

私は政治家になりたくなかった

>> Stephen: THAT SENTIMENT WAS OKAY FOUR YEARS AGO.

>> スティーブン４年前のセンティメントは大丈夫だった

BUT NOW KNRUR THE POLITICIAN.

BUT NOW KNRUR THE POLITICIAN.

THAT'S LIKE YOUR SURGEON LOOKING AT YOU RIGHT BEFORE YOU GO UNDER

THAT'S LIKE YOUR SURGEON LOOKING AT YOU RIGHT BEFORE YOU GO UNDER

AND SAYING, ( AS SURGEON )

と、（外科医として）言った。

"BY THE WAY, I DON'T SOUND LIKE A DOCTOR BECAUSE I'M NOT A

"ところで、私は医者のように聞こえない 私は医者ではないので

DOCTOR.

ドクター.

I NEVER WANTED TO BE A DOCTOR.

私は医者になりたくなかった

POKEY STICK!" BUT THE CLIP FROM THIS RALLY

ポキースティック！"しかし、このラリーからのクリップ

THAT'S GETTING A LOT OF ATTENTION IS THIS ATTEMPT TO

多くの人の関心を集めているのは、この試みのためです。

APPEAL TO SUBURBAN WOMEN: >> YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE?

APPEAL TO SUBURBAN WOMEN: >> YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE?

I'M ALSO GETTING YOUR HUSBANDS.

I'M ALSO GETTING YOUR HUSBANDS.

THEY WANT TO GET BACK TO WORK, RIGHT?

彼らは仕事に戻りたいんだろ？

THEY WANT TO GET BACK TO WORK.

彼らは仕事に戻りたがってる

WE'RE GETTING YOUR HUSBANDS BACK TO WORK.

私たちは、あなたの夫を仕事に復帰させます。

>> Stephen: THAT'S GREAT NEWS, LADIES.

>> Stephen: THAT'S GREAT NEWS, LADIES.

DONALD TRUMP IS GOING TO GET YOUR HUSBANDS BACK TO WORK, SO

ドナルド・トルンプは、あなたの夫を仕事に戻そうとしています。

YOU CAN GET ALL YOUR LADY-CHORES DONE, LIKE VOTING FOR JOE BIDEN.

ジョー・ビデンに投票するように 全てのレディコーラスを完成させることができます。

TODAY, BEFORE DEPARTING FOR ARIZONA, TRUMP HELD A QUICK NEWS

TODAY, BEFORE DEPARTING FOR ARIZONA, TRUMP HELD A QUICK NEWS.

CONFERENCE WHERE HE WAS ASKED ABOUT THE RECENT UNREST IN

CONFERENCE WHERE HE WAS ASKED ABOUT THE RECENT UNREST IN

PHILADELPHIA.

フィラデルフィア

AND HE DESCRIBED THE SCENE IN A VERY DONALD TRUMP WAY.

そして、彼は非常にドナルド・トルンプ流に場面を描写した。

>> PEOPLE ARE BREAKING INTO STORES AND WALKING OUT WITH

>> PEOPLE ARE BREAKING INTO STORES AND WALKING OUT WITH

WASHING MACHINES AND WALKING OUT WITH ALL SORTS OF THINGS, AND IT

洗濯機を洗ったり、あらゆる物を持って外に出て行ったり、それにしても

SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED.

許されるべきではありません。

>> Stephen: FOR THE RECORD, IT'S NOT ALLOWED.

>> スティーブン記録のために、それは許可されていません。

AND I'LL SAY THIS: LOOTING IS WRONG, BUT IF YOU CAN WALK OUT

私はこれを言います略奪は間違っている、しかし、あなたが外に出ることができるならば

OF A STORE CARRYING A WASHING MACHINE, I THINNK YOU SHOULD BE

OF A STORE CARRYING A WASHING MACHINE, I THINNK YOU SHOULD BE

ALLOWED TO KEEP IT, AND NOT JUST DURING RIOTS.

持っていることが許されている 暴動の時だけでなく

THAT SHOULD BE, LIKE, A BLANKET POLICY.

それは、あるべきである、のように、白紙のポリシー。

LIKE THOSE RESTAURANTS WHERE IF YOU CAN FINISH THE 72-OUNCE

72オンスのレストランのように...

STEAK, YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY FOR IT.

ステイク 課金しなくていいよ

IF YOU LOOK AT THE RECENT COVID NEWS, YOU MIGHT WANT TO PURELL

IF YOU LOOK AT THE RECENT COVID NEWS, YOU MIGHT WANT TO PURELL

YOUR EYEBALLS, BECAUSE IT'S CLEAR THAT THIS VIRUS IS GOING

あなたの目を見てください、このウイルスは明らかに進行しています。

EVERYWHERE FAST.

どこにでもあるFAST。

ESPECIALLY IN STATES THAT TRUMP DESPERATELY NEEDS, LIKE TEXAS.

特にテキサスのような州では特に。

IN EL PASO, THE NUMBER OF ADMITTED COVID PATIENTS HAS MORE

エルパソでは、コビドの患者数が増加しています。

THAN TRIPLED OVER THE PAST THREE WEEKS, FORCING DOCTORS TO TREAT

過去３週間で急上昇し 医師は治療を余儀なくされています

SOME PATIENTS IN A FIELD HOSPITAL IN A NEARBY PARKING

近くの駐車場にあるフィールドホスピタルの中の患者さん

LOT.

LOT.

THAT IS TERRIBLE.

それはひどい

THE ONLY THINGS THAT SHOULD HAPPEN IN A PARKING LOT ARE

駐車場で起こるべき唯一のことは、次のようなことです。

PARKING, SELLING PUMPKINS, AND GETTING HIGH WITH A BONG YOU

駐車場での駐車、コインの販売、そしてボンユーでハイになること。

MADE OUT OF A PUMPKIN.

MADE OUT OF A PUMPKIN.

HERE'S HOW BAD IT IS: WHILE IT TOOK OUR COUNTRY THREE MONTHS

ここにそれがどのように悪いのかがあります。それが私たちの国に3ヶ月かかった間に

FOR THE FIRST 500,000 CASES, THE U.S. IS NOW REPORTING 500,000

最初の50万件で、米国は現在50万件の報告をしています。

NEW CASES JUST IN THE PAST WEEK.

この一週間での新しい事件。

CLEARLY, WE'RE A LONG WAY FROM ENDING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC.

明らかに、私たちは長い道のりを歩んでいます COVID -19のパンデミックを終わらせるために

ON THE OTHER HAND, YESTERDAY, A NEW WHITE HOUSE PRESS RELEASE

ON THE OTHER HAND, YESTERDAY, A NEW WHITE HOUSE PRESS RELEASE

ANNOUNCED THAT ONE OF TRUMP'S BIGGEST ACCOMPLISHMENTS IS

トランプ氏の最も大きな成果の一つは、このことを発表しました。

ENDING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC.

コビド19パンデミックを終わらせる。

NOW, WHILE THAT IS CLEARLY INSANE, DECLARING VICTORY

それが明らかに狂っている間に 勝利を宣言します

PREMATURELY IS A PROUD REPUBLICAN TRADITION.

PREMATURELY IS A PROUD REPUBLICAN TRADITION.

AT THIS POINT, TRUMP'S NOT JUST NERO FIDDLING WHILE ROME BURNS,

この時点では、ローマが燃える間、トランプはただのネロいじりではありません。

HE'S NERO SENDING OUT A PRESS RELEASE THAT SAYS, "YOU'RE NOT

ネロはプレスリリースで 「お前は違う」と言っている

ON FIRE."

"ON FIRE"

I'D SAY THIS IS DONALD TRUMP PEEING ON OUR LEG AND TELLING US

ドナルド・トルンプが俺たちの足にオシッコをかけて言ってるんだよ

IT'S RAINING, BUT HE USUALLY PAYS RUSSIAN PROSTITUTES TO DO

雨が降っているが、彼はいつもロシア人の売春婦に お金を払っている

THAT.

THAT.

>> I'M DONALD J. TRUMP AND I APPROVED THIS MESSAGE.

>> 私はドナルド・Ｊ・トランプであり、このメッセージを承認しました。

>> Stephen: THANK YOU, SIR.

>> スティーブンありがとうございます

I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE GETTING CHECKS FROM DONALD TRUMP.

I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE GETTING CHECKS FROM DONALD TRUMP.

AND THEY CLEARED.

そして、彼らはクリアしました。

THIS PRESS RELEASE FROM THE MOUTH OF MADNESS WAS CREATED BY

この「狂気の口」からのプレスリリースは、

THE WHITE HOUSE'S "OFFICE OF SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY POLICY,"

ホワイトハウスの「科学技術政策局」の

AND IF YOU'RE WONDERING JUST HOW "SCIENCE" THEY ARE, ONE OF THE

また、「科学」とはどのようなものなのか疑問に思っている方は、そのうちの1つである

OTHER MAJOR ACCOMPLISHMENTS THEY TOUT IS, "UNDERSTANDING OUR

その他の主要な成果として、「私たちの理解」を挙げています。

PLANET."

PLANET."

( AS TRUMP ) "LOOK, I GET THE PLANET BETTER

( TRUMPとして) "LOOK, I GET THE PLANET BETTER

THAN ANYONE.

誰よりも

IT'S BLUE AND IT'S GREEN, HEAVEN IS UP, HELL IS DOWN, IT'S SHAPED

青くて緑、天は上、地獄は下、形をしている

LIKE A MEATBALL, AND THE WHOLE THING REVOLVES AROUND ME."

"ミートボールのように 私の周りで全てが変わる"

BUT THERE ARE SOME QUOTES FROM LEADING ACADEMIC MINDS IN THIS

しかし、この中にはアカデミックマインドをリードする人たちからの引用があります。

DOCUMENT.

ドキュメント。

ONE SAYS, "PRESIDENT TRUMP'S POLICIES AND INVESTMENTS IN

ある人は、「トランプ大統領の政策と投資」と言う。

SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY ENSURE AMERICA STANDS READY TO SOLVE

科学および技術はアメリカが解決するために準備ができていることを保証します

TODAY'S MOST PRESSING CHALLENGES"-- AN ENDORSEMENT

今日の最も過酷な課題」--支持の表明

THAT COMES FROM WORLD-RENOWNED SCIENTIST IVANKA TRUMP.

それは世界的に有名な科学者イバンカ・トランプからのものです。

( LAUGHTER ) DON'T BELIEVE ME?

( LAUGHTER ) DON'T BELIEVE ME?

HERE SHE IS IN A LAB A FEW YEARS BACK, DISTILLING PURE CRAP.

彼女は数年前に研究室にいて くだらないものを抽出していた

NO ONE IS BUYING IT.

誰も買わない

EVEN AN OFFICIAL ON TRUMP'S OWN COVID TASK FORCE SAID, "IT'S

EVEN AN OFFICIAL ON TRUMP'S OWN COVID TASK FORCE SAID, "IT'S

MIND-BOGGLING.

驚くべきことだ

THERE'S NO WORLD IN WHICH ANYONE CAN THINK THAT STATEMENT IS

誰もがそのように考えることができる世界はありません。

TRUE.

本当だよ

MAYBE THE PRESIDENT.

MAYBE THE PRESIDENT.

BUT I DON'T SEE HOW EVEN HE CAN BELIEVE THAT."

でも彼が信じられるとは思えない"

IT'S EASY.

it's easy.

JUST CONSULT HIS CLOSEST MEDICAL ADVISER-- DEXAMETHASONE

JUST CONSULT HIS CLOSEST MEDICAL ADVISER-- DEXAMETHASONE

HALLUCINATIONS.

ハルキュナシオン。

>> COVID'S GONE AWAY AND DONALD TRUMP HAS WASHBOARD ABS.

>> コヴィドがいなくなって、ドナルド・トランプがウォッシュボードのABSを持っています。

>> Stephen: GET OUT OF HERE!

>> スティーブンここから出て行け！

GET OUT OF HERE!

ここから出て行け！

LAST NIGHT THE L.A. DODGERS BEAT THE TAMPA BAY RAISES IN GAME SIX

昨夜、L.A.ドジャースは第6試合でTAMPA BAY RAISESを破った

TO WIN THE WORLD SERIES.

TO WIN THE WORLD SERIES.

CONGRATULATIONSING TO THE DODGERS, WHO HAVEN'T WON THE BIG

ドッジャーズに祝福を！まだビッグタイトルを獲得していないドッジャーズに

ONE SINCE THE 80s WHEN THEIR UNIFORM LOOKED LIKE THIS.

80年代に入ってからのONE SINCE THE 80年代のユニフォームはこんな感じだった。

BIT THERE IS ONE THING ABOUT LAST NIGHT'S GAME, IT WAS

昨夜のゲームで一つだけ言えることは、それは

INTERESTING.

INTERESTING.

DURING THE EIGHTH INNING, SYLVESTER TURNER WAS PULLED OUT

DURING THE EIGHTH INNING, SYLVESTER TURNER WAS PULLED OUT

WITH NOW EXPLANATION OPINION WAS HE INJURED?

WITH NOW EXPLANATION OPINION WAS HE INJURED?

WAS HE TRADED?

売買されたのか？

WAS HE FINALLY SWALLOWED BY HIS OWN BEARD?

WAS HE FINALLY SWALLOWED BY HIS OWN BEARD?

NONE OF THE ABOVE.

上のどれでもない。

BECAUSE WE LATER LEARNED THAT TURNER TOOK THE FIELD WHILE

BECAUSE WE LATER LEARNED THAT TURNER TOOK THE FIELD WHILE

STILL AWAITING THE RESULTS OF "HIS TUESDAY MORNING COVID

まだ「ヒズ・トゥースデーモーニング・コヴィド」の結果を待っています。

TEST," BUT IT WAS ONLY LAST NIGHT THAT, "RIGHT AROUND THE

"テスト "と言っても 昨夜になってからだ

BOTTOM OF THE SIXTH, THE LAB RETURNED THE NEWS."

BOTTOM OF THE SIXTH, THE LAB RETURNED THE NEWS."

"WHICH CONFIRMED A POSITIVE."

"WHICH CONFIRMED A POSITIVE"

NICE JOB, M.L.B. TESTING.

ナイスジョブ、M.L.B.

YOU ARE OFFICIALLY THE ONLY THING SLOWER THAN BASEBALL.

YOU ARE OFFICIALLY THE ONLY THING SLOWER THAN BASEBALL.

OF COURSE, GIVEN THE DIAGNOSIS, TURNER DID THE RESPONSIBLE THING

当然のことながら、診断を与えられた、ターナーは責任あることをした。

AND HIT THE DUGOUT FOR A HUG SESH!

そしてダグアウトでHUGESH!

"YOU GET THE CORONAVIRUS!

"YOU GET THE CORONAVIRUS!

AND YOU.

AND YOU.

AND WHOSE WEATHER WATCHER ARE YOU?

AND WHOSE WEATHER WATCHER ARE YOU?

I DON'T CARE.

気にしない

AND THEN I KISS MY OWN WIFE.

そして自分の妻にキスをする

AND TAKE OFF THE MASK WITH ALL THE TEAMMATES!

AND TAKE OFF THE MASK WITH ALL THE TEAMMATES!

WHOOO!

うわああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああ

DON'T INFECT EACH OTHER, FELLAS.

お互いを感染させるな、フェラーズ

YOU ARE THE CHAMPS.

YOU ARE THE CHAMPS.

YOU GET TO GO TO THE WHITE HOUSE.

YOU GET TO GO TO THE WHITE HOUSE.

THIS IS THE MOST IRRESPONSIBLE BEHAVIOR BY AN ATHLETE SINCE

これは、これまでで最も責任ある行動です。

LeBRON JAMES'S PRE-GAME ANTHRAX TOSS.

LeBRON JAMES'S PRE-GAME ANTHRAX TOSS.

OF COURSE, EVERYONE IS SUFFERING UNDER THIS PANDEMIC.

もちろん、誰もがこのパンデミックに苦しんでいます。

WELL, ALMOST EVERYONE.

ほとんどの人がね

BECAUSE YESTERDAY THE INTERNET BLEW UP AFTER DISCOVERING THAT

BECAUSE YESTERDAY THE INTERNET BLEW UP AFTER DISCOVERING THAT

KIM KARDASHIAN WEST THREW A PARTY FOR HERSELF AND DOZENS OF

キム・カーダシアン・ウェストが自分と数十人のためにパーティーを開いた。

FRIENDS ON A PRIVATE ISLAND.

私有地での仲間たち。

ANY SENSIBLE PERSON WOULD WANT TO KEEP THAT UNDER WRAPS...

どんな分別のある人でも、それを隠しておきたいと思うだろう...

WHICH IS WHY KIM KARDASHIAN POSTED IT ALL ON TWITTER, SAYING

キム・カーダシアンがツイッターにすべてを投稿し、こう言っていたのはなぜか？

"AFTER TWO WEEKS OF MULTIPLE HEALTH SCREENS AND ASKING

"AFTER TWO WEEKS OF MULTIPLE HEALTH SCREENS AND ASKING

EVERYONE TO QUARANTINE, I SURPRISED MY CLOSEST INNER

クオランタインの皆さん、私の身近な人を驚かせてくれました。

CIRCLE WITH A TRIP TO A PRIVATE ISLAND WHERE WE COULD PRETEND

サークルと私有地への旅

THINGS WERE NORMAL JUST FOR A BRIEF MOMENT IN TIME."

"当たり前のことが当たり前になっていたのは、ほんの一瞬のことだった。"

AND YOU THINK THAT'S NORMAL?

それが普通だと思う？

"YEAH, ME AND MY OTHER REALITY SHOW STAR SIBLINGS TOOK A

"YEAH, ME AND MY OTHER REALITY SHOW STAR SIBLINGS TOOK A

PRIVATE JET TO A SECRET ISLAND FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS.

PRIVATE JET TO A SECRET ISLAND FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS.

IT'S JUST NICE TO GET BACK INTO A ROUTINE, YOU KNOW?"

"ルーチンに戻るのはいいけど、知ってるの？"

AND THEY PARTIED HARD.

そして、彼らは激しくパーティーをした。

ACCORDING TO KIM K.: "WE DANCED, RODE BIKES, SWAM NEAR WHALES,

"We DANCED, RODE BIKES, SWAM NEAR WHALES.

KAYAKED, WATCHED A MOVIE ON THE BEACH, AND SO MUCH MORE."

"カヤックをしたり 海辺で映画を見たり"

I ASSUME "SO MUCH MORE" MEANS HUNTING THE WAITSTAFF FOR SPORT.

I ASSUME "SO MUCH MORE" MEANS HUNTING THE WAITSTAFF FOR SPORT.

I'M JUST WORRIED THEY'RE GOING TO GIVE RICH PEOPLE WHO DO

私はただ心配しているだけです 彼らは金持ちの人たちを与えようとしています

WHATEVER THEY WANT ON A PRIVATE ISLAND A BAD NAME.

私有地でやりたいことは何でもやる 悪い名前だ

( LAUGHTER ) SEE YOU SOON, RICHARD BRANSON.

( LAUGHTER ) またね リチャード・ブランソン

WOULD YOU GO IF BRANSON INVITED US?

ブランソンが誘ったら行く？

WOULD YOU GO.

WOULD YOU GO.

>> YES.

>> ＹＥＳ！＞＞＞＞＞＞＞＞ＹＥＳ

>> Stephen: LEGAL ME YOU HAVE TO GO NOW IF HE INVITES US.

>> スティーブン彼が私たちを招待しているのなら すぐに行かなければなりません。