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  • >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!

    >> スティーブンヘイ、みんな!

  • WELCOME TO A "LATE SHOW"!

    WELCOME TO A "LATE SHOW"!

  • I'M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT.

    あなたのホストのステファン・コルバートです。

  • LET ME JUST KEY UP HERE.

    ここに鍵をかけて

  • MMM!

    MMM!

  • OOOH, TEPID!

    テピド!

  • I THOUGHT THAT WAS GOING TO BE HOTTER THAN IT WAS.

    もっと暑くなるかと思ったわ

  • HELLO.

    ハロー。

  • SO NICE TO SEE YOU.

    会えてよかった

  • SPEAKING OF HOT -- HAVE YOU LOST WEIGHT?

    SPEAKING OF HOT -- HAVE YOU LOST WEIGHT?

  • YOU LOOK AMAZING.

    凄く綺麗だよ

  • WE HAVEN'T BEEN TOGETHER FOR A WEEK, AND I'VE MISSED SO MUCH

    私たちは一週間も一緒にいなかったし、私は多くのものを失ってしまった。

  • HAS HAPPENED.

    HAPPEDが起きました。

  • SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED TODAY.

    今日はたくさんの出来事がありました。

  • SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED IN THE LAST FEW HOURS.

    最後の数時間で多くの出来事がありました。

  • HONEST TO GOD, YOU GUYS BACK ME UP, I'M NOT ENTIRELY SURE WHAT

    正直に言うと、君たちは俺を援護してくれたが、俺は全く分からない。

  • WE'RE GOING TO READ EVEN THOUGH WE'VE READ ALL OF IT BECAUSE WE

    私たちは、私たちのために、すべてのそれを読んだとしても、読みに行く。

  • HAD TO CHANGE THE ORDER OF EVERYTHING MINUTES AGO.

    順番を変更しなければならなかったのよ

  • THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION IS ONLY 15 DAYS AWAY.

    THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION IS ONLY 15 DAYS AWAY.

  • I CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS TO JUST BE OVER.

    これが終わるのが待ち遠しいわ

  • IT'S LIKE AN UPCOMING SURGERY, IN THAT I'M PLANNING ON BEING

    IT'S LIKE AN UPCOMING SURGERY, IN THAT I'M PLANNING ON BEING

  • ANESTHETIZED FOR THE EVENT.

    ANESTHETIZED FOR THE EVENT.

  • YOU KNOW WHO COULD USE SOME PAINKILLERS?

    誰にも使われていない

  • DONALD TRUMP.

    DONALD TRUMP.

  • BECAUSE HIS POLL NUMBERS ARE STARTING TO LOOK PRETTY BLEAK.

    BECAUSE HIS POLL NUMBERS ARE STARTING TO LOOK PRETTY BLEAK.

  • (KNOCKING) KNOCK ON WOOD.

    (ノック)木の上でノック。

  • SALT THE WOOD.

    SALT THE WOOD.

  • BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE.

    ビートルジュース、ビートルジュース、ビートルジュース。

  • SO, IN THE RUN-UP TO THE ELECTION, TRUMP IS PLANNING TO

    SO, IN THE RUN-UP TO THE ELECTION, TRUMP IS PLANNING TO

  • HOLD "TWO TO THREE EVENTS PER DAY."

    HOLD "TWO TO THREE EVENTS PER DAY."

  • BRILLIANT.

    BRILLIANT.

  • BE ON TV EVERYDAY TO REMIND AMERICANS WHY THEY CAN'T STAND

    毎日テレビに出てアメリカ人に思い出させるために、なぜ彼らは立っていることができません。

  • LOOKING AT YOU.

    君を見てるよ

  • AT A RALLY IN GEORGIA ON FRIDAY, TRUMP OPENLY MUSED ABOUT LOSING:

    A RALLY IN GEORGIA ON FRIDAY, TRUMP OPENLY MUSEDLY ABOUT LOSING.

  • >> COULD YOU IMAGINE IF I LOSE?

    >> 負けたらどうなるか想像できる?

  • MY WHOLE LIFE, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?

    私の人生、何をすればいいの?

  • I'M GOING TO SAY I LOST TO THE WORST CANDIDATE IN THE

    最悪の候補者に負けたと言いたいの

  • HISTORY OF POLITICS.

    政治の歴史。

  • I'M NOT GOING TO FEEL SO GOOD.

    こんなに良い気分にはなれないわ

  • MAYBE I WILL HAVE TO LEAVE THE COUNTRY.

    MAYBE I WILL HAVE TO LEAVE THE COUNTRY.

  • >> STEPHEN: I'LL HELP YOU PACK.

    >> 荷造りを手伝うよ

  • I HEAR EQUATORIAL GUINEA HAS A BEAUTIFUL NO EXTRADITION TREATY

    EQUATORIAL GUINEAには、美しい無輸血治療法があると聞いています。

  • THIS TIME OF YEAR.

    今年のこの時期に

  • ONE OF TRUMP'S BIGGEST PROBLEMS IS THAT SUBURBAN WOMEN IN

    トランプ氏の最大の問題の一つは 郊外の女性の問題です

  • BATTLEGROUND STATES CAN'T STAND HIM.

    BATTLEGROUND STATES CAN'T STAND HIM.

  • TO WHICH TRUMP RESPONDED, YOU CAN AND YOU WILL.

    トランプが答えたのは、あなたができて、あなたがすることができますし、あなたがします。

  • >> THE WOMEN WHO THEY SAY DON'T LIKE ME, THEY ACTUALLY DO LIKE

    >> >>「私を好きじゃない」と言っていた女性が、実際には好きになっていた

  • ME A LOT.

    私はたくさんのことをした。

  • >> STEPHEN: NO SURPRISE.

    >> 驚きはありません。

  • TRUMP'S GOT A LONG HISTORY OF IGNORING WOMEN SAYING "I'M NOT

    トランプは「私は違う」と言う女性を無視してきた長い歴史を持っています。

  • INTO YOU."

    INTO YOU."

  • AND HE AIN'T TOO PROUD TO BEG, SWEET DARLIN'.

    彼は自慢しても乞う気にはならないわ

  • >> SUBURBAN WOMEN, PLEASE VOTE FOR ME.

    >> 郊外の女性、私に投票してください。

  • SUBURBAN WOMEN, WILL YOU PLEASE LIKE ME?

    スバーバン女性、私を好きになってくれませんか?

  • >> STEPHEN: AS PATHETIC AS THAT WAS, AFTER THE RALLY, TRUMP WENT

    >> 憎しみに満ちたように、集会の後、トランプは行った。

  • DOOR TO DOOR.

    ドア・ツー・ドア

  • TRUMP IS SO DESPERATE TO ATTRACT THE LADIES, HE BROKE OUT HIS

    トランプは女性を惹きつけようと躍起になっている。

  • IRRESISTIBLE DANCE MOVE: ♪

    IRRESISTIBLE DANCE MOVE: ♪(レジスタンス・ダンス・ムーヴ

  • ♪ ♪

    ♪ ♪

  • MOVE YOUR FEET!

    ♪ MOVE YOUR FOET!

  • AT ALL!

    全く!

  • JIMMY, PUT HIM BACK UP THERE!

    ジミー、彼をそこに戻して!

  • HE MAKES THE INFLATABLE TUBE-MAN LOOK LIKE FRED ASTAIRE.

    彼はフレッド・アステアのように 不安定なチューブマンを作った

  • I'VE SEEN MORE RHYTHMIC MOVEMENT FROM A POTATO ROLLING AROUND IN

    周りを転がるジャガイモからもっとリズム的な動きを見たことがある

  • THE TRUNK OF MY CAR.

    私の車のトランク

  • HOW DO YOU MESS UP DANCING TO "Y.M.C.A.?"

    "Y.M.C.A. "に合わせてどうやって踊るの?

  • IT COMES WITH INSTRUCTIONS!

    IT COMES WITH INSTRUCTIONS!

  • LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO BEAT A DEAD HORSE, BUT I'VE SEEN A DEAD

    死んだ馬を叩く気はないが、死んだ馬を見たことがある。

  • HORSE WITH BETTER MOVES.

    HORSE WITH BETTER MOVES.

  • THEY SAY HOW YOU DANCE INDICATES HOW YOU MAKE LOVE.

    THEY SAY HOW YOU DANCE INDICATES HOW YOU MAKE LOVE.

  • APPARENTLY, HE DOES NOT MAKE LOVE FROM THE WAIST DOWN.

    明らかに、彼は腰から下は愛していない。

  • FOR HIM, IT'S JUST A LOT OF FIST-PUMPING AND POINTING.

    彼にとっては 拳を突き上げて指さしているだけだ

  • TRUMP IS ALSO BEING HURT BY HIS TOTAL SHANKING OF THE PANDEMIC,

    TRUMPはまた、彼のパンデミックの完全なシャンキングによって傷つけられています。

  • AND THINGS ARE GETTING WORSE.

    AND THINGS ARE GETTING WORSE.

  • ON FRIDAY, FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE JULY, THE COUNTRY REPORTED

    ON FRIDAY, FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE JULY, THE COUNTRY REPORTED

  • OVER 70,000 CORONAVIRUS CASES AND ONE EXPERT PREDICTS THAT THE

    70,000件以上のコロナウイルスの症例と、ある専門家の予測によると

  • NEXT 6-12 WEEKS ARE GOING TO BE THE DARKEST OF THE ENTIRE

    NEXT 6-12 WEEKS ARE GOING TO BE THE DARKEST OF THE ENTIRE

  • PANDEMIC.

    パンデミック。

  • IN OTHER WORDS: >> THE--

    他の言葉で言うと:

  • >> WORST.

    >> wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

  • >> IS YET!

    >> IS YET!

  • TO COME!

    TO COME!

  • >> STEPHEN: TODAY, TRUMP STOPPED BY ARIZONA FOR ANOTHER

    >> 今日、トランプはもう一つのためにアリゾナに立ち寄ったのか?

  • SUPER-SPREADER RALLY.

    SUPER-SPREADER RALLY.

  • AND HE INSISTED THAT THIS WHOLE PANDEMIC THING IS JUST A PASSING

    そして、彼は、この全体的なパンデミックは単なる通過点だと主張していました。

  • FAD.

    FADです。

  • >> YOUR STATE IS DOING GREAT WITH THE PANDEMIC.

    >> YOUR STATE IS DOING GREAT WITH THE PANDEMIC.

  • PANDEMIC.

    パンデミック。

  • THEY ARE GETTING TIRED OF THE PANDEMIC, AREN'T THEY?

    パンデミックに飽きたのか?

  • YOU TURN ON CNN.

    あなたはCNNを見て

  • THAT'S ALL THEY COVER.

    THAT'S ALL THEY COVER.

  • COVID, COVID, PANDEMIC, COVID COVID, COVID

    COVID、COVID、PANDEMIC、COVID、COVID

  • UGH.

    うっ。

  • YOU KNOW WHAT?

    YOU KNOW WHAT?

  • THEY ARE TRYING TO TALK EVERYBODY OUT OF VOTING.

    誰もが投票しないように話をしようとしている。

  • PEOPLE AREN'T BUYING IT, CNN, YOU DUMB BASTARDS.

    国民は買わないんだよ、CNN、お前らバカ野郎ども

  • THEY'RE NOT BUYING IT.

    彼らは買わない

  • ( CHEERING ) >> Stephen: DUMB BASTARDS.

    ( CHEERING ) >> スティーブン。DUMBUS BASTARDS.

  • LEAVE ERIC AND DON, JR. OUT OF THIS.

    エリックとドン、JR.関わるな

  • TRUMP SPOKE ABOUT HIS COVID RECOVERY.

    TRUMP SPOKE ABOUT HIS COVID RECOVERY.

  • >> IT'S GREAT.

    >> それは素晴らしいです。

  • IT'S GREAT.

    最高だよ

  • BUT I TOOK IT AND IT WAS INCREDIBLE.

    でも、受けてみたら、信じられないほどでした。

  • INCREDIBLE.

    驚くべきことに

  • I FELT LIKE SUPERMAN THE NEXT MORNING.

    I FELT LIKE SUPERMAN THE NEXT MORNING.

  • I WOKE UP, AND I WAS LIKE AAARGHH, LET ME AT EM!

    目が覚めたら、私はAAARGHHHのようになっていた、EMで私を見てみましょう!

  • >> STEPHEN: AH, YES.

    >> >> STEPHEN: AH, YES.

  • EXACTLY LIKE SUPERMAN.

    EXACTLY LIKE SUPERMAN.

  • IT'S A BIRD!

    鳥だ!

  • IT'S A PLANE!

    計画だ!

  • IT'S A CRAZY GUY JACKED UP ON STEROIDS!

    狂った男がステロイドでジャックしたんだ!

  • "TRUTH, JUSTICE AND THE AMERICAN BLAARGH!"

    "TRUTH, JUSTICE AND THE AMERICAN BLAARGH!"

  • "LET ME AT 'EM!

    "LET ME AT 'EM!

  • NOW IT'S TEPID AND SALTY.

    今はぬるくて塩辛い

  • ( LAUGHTER ) TRUMP KEEPS INSISTING COVID IS

    (笑) TRUMPはCOVIDを主張し続けています。

  • NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT: >> IT'S ENDING ANYWAY.

    何も心配することはありません。>> いずれにしても終わってしまう。

  • I MEAN, THEY GO CRAZY WHEN I SAY IT.

    私が言うとおかしくなるのよ

  • IT'S GOING TO PETER OUT, AND IT'S

    ピーター・アウトになるわ

  • GOING TO END.

    終わらせる

  • WE'RE ROUNDING THE TURN.

    曲がり角を回っています

  • WE'RE ROUNDING THE CORNER.

    角を曲がったところだ

  • THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL IS NEAR.

    THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL IS NEAR.

  • >> STEPHEN: NOTHING SAYS YOU'RE OUT OF DANGER LIKE, "GO TOWARD

    >> 危険な状態から脱出したとは 言えないわ "こっちへ行け "みたいにね

  • THE LIGHT."

    THE LIGHT."

  • (AS TRUMP) "WE'RE GOING TO PUT ALL THE

    (TRUMPとして) "WE'RE GOING TO PUT TO ALL THE

  • COVID INTO A BUCKET AND THEN WE'RE GOING TO KICK THE BUCKET.

    COVID INTO A BUCKET AND THREE GOING TO KICK THE BUCKET.

  • ALL THE WAY TO THAT FARM UPSTATE, WHERE WE'RE ALL GOING

    ALL THE WAY TO THAT FARM UPSTATE, WHERE WE'RE ALL GOING

  • TO LIVE, WE'RE GONNA BE ALIVE AS DOORNAILS."

    TO LIVE, WE'RE GONNA BE ALIVE AS DOORNAILS."

  • TRUMP SAID WHETHER YOU'RE NAUGHTY OR NICE, BIDEN'S COMING

    TRUMPは、あなたがNAUGHTYかNICEか、BIDEN'S COMINGと言いました。

  • FOR YOUR STOCKING WITH CARE.

    大切に保管するために。

  • >> IF HE GETS IN CARSON CITY WILL BE A GHOST TOWN.

    >> 彼がカーソンシティに入ったら 幽霊の町になるだろう

  • AND THE CHRISTMAS SEASON WILL BE CANCELLED.

    クリスマスシーズンは中止となります。

  • >> STEPHEN: YES, IF JOE IS ELECTED, THERE WILL BE NO

    >> そう、ジョーが選出されたならば、それはないだろう。

  • CHRISTMAS ON JANUARY 20.

    1月20日のクリスマス。

  • AND FORGET ABOUT FOURTH OF JULY IN FEBRUARY!

    そして、2月の7月4日のことは忘れてください!

  • THEN HE CAME UP WITH THIS WEIRD ATTACK.

    THEN HE CAME UP WITH THIS WEIRD ATTACK.

  • >> YOU KNOW, BIDEN WANTS TO LOCK IT DOWN.

    >> YOU KNOW, BIDEN WANTS TO LOCK IT DOWN.

  • HE WANTS TO LISTEN TO DR. FAUCI.

    彼は博士の話を聞きたがっているFAUCI.

  • HE WANTS TO LISTEN TO DR. FAUCI.

    彼は博士の話を聞きたがっているFAUCI.

  • >> Stephen: DR. FAUCI IS THE MOST

    >> スティーブンDR.FAUCI IS THE MOST

  • TRUSTED PERSON ON CORONAVIRUS IN THE UNITED STATES.

    アメリカのコロナウイルスで信頼されている人。

  • I DON'T THINK THAT'S THE ATTACK YOU THINK IT IS.

    I DON'T THINK THAT'S THE ATTACK YOU THINK IT IS.

  • AND I'M BEING TOLD THERE'S ALREADY A NEW AD:

    新しい広告があると言われています

  • >> YOU KNOW, BIDEN WANTS TO LOCK IT DOWN.

    >> YOU KNOW, BIDEN WANTS TO LOCK IT DOWN.

  • HE WANTS TO LISTEN TO DR. FAUCI.

    彼は博士の話を聞きたがっているFAUCI.

  • >> I'M JOE BIDEN AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE.

    >> 私はジョー・バイデンで、このメッセージを承認します。

  • >> Stephen: LAST NIGHT, THE SAME DR. FAUCI WAS ON

    >> スティーブン最後の夜には、同じDR.ファウチーが乗っていた

  • "60 MINUTES," AND HE WAS FRANK ABOUT TRUMP'S

    "60 MINUTES "と彼はフランクだった トランプのことで

  • EFFORTS TO KEEP HIM FROM SPEAKING TO THE PUBLIC.

    公衆の面前で話すのを防ぐための努力。

  • >> DURING THIS PANDEMIC, HAS THE WHITE HOUSE BEEN CONTROLLING

    >> >>このパンデミックの間、ホワイトハウスは支配していた

  • WHEN YOU CAN SPEAK WITH THE MEDIA?

    WHEN YOU CAN SPEAK WITH THE MEDIA?

  • >> YOU KNOW, I THINK YOU'D HAVE TO BE HONEST AND SAY YES.

    >> YOU KNOW, I THINK YOU'D HAVE TO BE HONEST AND SAY YES.

  • I CERTAINLY HAVE NOT BEEN ALLOWED TO GO ON MANY, MANY,

    私は何度も何度も行くことを許されていません。

  • MANY SHOWS THAT HAVE ASKED FOR ME.

    MANY SHOWS THAT HAVE ASKED FOR ME.

  • >> STEPHEN: THAT'S RIGHT-- MANY, MANY SHOWS.

    >> STEPHEN: THAT'S RIGHT-- MANY, MANY SHOWS.

  • THANKS TO TRUMP, WE NEVER GOT TO SEE FAUCI ON "FLOOR IS LAVA."

    トランプのおかげで、私たちは「床はラバです」のFAUCIを見ることができませんでした。

  • FAUCI WAS ALSO CONCERNED ABOUT THE PRESIDENT PERSONALLY.

    FAUCIは、大統領個人的にも関心を持っていました。

  • >> WERE YOU SURPRISED WHEN PRESIDENT TRUMP GOT SICK?

    >> トランプ大統領が病気になった時、あなたは驚きましたか?

  • >> ABSOLUTELY NOT.

    >> 絶対にありません。

  • I WAS WORRIED THAT HE WAS GOING TO GET SICK WHEN I SAW HIM IN A

    病気になるのではないかと心配していた

  • COMPLETELY PRECARIOUS SITUATION OF CROWDED, NO SEPARATION

    COMPLETELY PRECARIOUS SITUATION OF CROWDED, NO SEPARATION

  • BETWEEN PEOPLE, AND ALMOST NOBODY WEARING A MASK.

    人と人との間で、そしてほとんどの人が仮面をつけている。

  • WHEN I SAW THAT ON TV, I SAID, "OH, MY GOODNESS.

    テレビでそれを見た時、私は "OH, MY GOODNESS "と思った。

  • NOTHING GOOD CAN COME OUT OF THAT, THAT'S GOT TO BE A

    何も良いことはない、それはそれであることに違いない。

  • PROBLEM."

    "問題"

  • >> STEPHEN: SO, FAUCI INFLUENCES TRUMP'S COVID POLICY THE SAME

    >> だから、FAUCI INFLUENCES TRUMP'S COVID POLICY THE SAME。

  • WAY WE DO: BY STARING IN HORROR AT THE TV AND SAYING, "THAT'S

    私たちのやり方テレビを見ながら恐怖の中で、「それだ」と言うことで

  • GOT TO BE A PROBLEM."

    "問題を抱えている"

  • TODAY, WITH INFECTIONS SPIKING ACROSS THE COUNTRY, TRUMP HIT

    今日、国中に感染症が蔓延していて、 トランプはヒットしました。

  • BACK AT FAUCI ON A CAMPAIGN STAFF PHONE CALL WITH REPORTERS

    レポーターとのキャンペーンスタッフ電話通話でFAUCIに戻る

  • SAYING, "PEOPLE ARE TIRED OF HEARING FAUCI AND THESE IDIOTS,

    言いたいことは、「人々は、FAUCIとこれらの馬鹿を聞くことにうんざりしている」ということです。

  • ALL THESE IDIOTS WHO