It's Linda Raynier of lindaraynier.com guiding you to a career and life you'll truly enjoy.

And in today's video I'm gonna teach you 4 key tips on how you can reduce your level

of shyness when talking to people whether it's your boss, your co-workers or anyone

you meet in a professional setting.

Now as a Career Strategist I've had the honor of being able to help numerous professionals

land their dream job offers.

So if this is something that you're interested in working with me one-on-one I can give you

details about that at the end of this video.

When I asked corporate professionals what it is that tends to hold them back from getting

the jobs that they want or from developing deeper relationships with others at work I

tend to hear: "I'm really shy", "I don't know how to talk to people well", "I get nervous",

"I just don't know what to say".

If this is you know that this is completely normal.

Shyness is a completely natural reaction and you shouldn't beat yourself up because you

tend to be shy in front of others.

So today I'm gonna help you to understand where I believe your shyness really comes

from and my four tips on how you can overcome it in society a lot of us tend to think of

people as people who are gentle who are sweet who are nice kind of fragile but of course

they just don't talk a lot because they're shy and that may or may not be true and if

you're someone who shy you may have those qualities as well maybe you were born into

a certain culture or society where you were raised to believe that you need to be humble

you need to be conservative and you can't be too extroverted because that's not a quality

that is good to have in that certain culture society and as a result of that you've become

this person who is shy but here's the thing that you really should know shyness is something

that can be learned and practice over time yes you may have a tendencies to be shy but

that's because you've practiced it all your life so if you wanna stop being shy you can

you just simply have to even learn it from within yourself and here's a Fact that once

you realize that this is true for you if you're someone who's shy will actually help you to

really learn and eliminate the shy tendencies and here it is the reason why you are shy

and why you tend to have trouble connecting with others when you're talking to people

is because you're current attention isn't on that other person that you're talking to

but instead your way to focus on yourself you're saying I don't think they like me I

don't know how to talk to them I'm worried what they think of me right now I hope I don't

say the wrong thing and with all of these worries and thoughts you cut yourself off

from being able to have a truly meaningful conversation with this other person because

you're way too consumed with yourself and if you were to be honest with yourself I know

that you would agree with me you're way too lost in your own head with your own thoughts

about yourself so now that you know why and where your shyness comes from let's talk about

how you can help yourself to overcome it so The solution to stop being shy tip number

one is to adopt a curious mind set when you're in a situation where you're talking to other

people shift your focus away from yourself from your own fears and nervousness away from

you and towards the other person shift your focus to the other person this may sound silly

but a good way to think of it is act as though you're almost a news reporter and you're trying

to interview someone and you're trying to get information for a new segment that you're

doing as a news reporter Adopt a curious mind set because you wanna know more about that

other person that you're talking to so by adopting a curious mind set you were able

to engage with them you're asking them questions you're wanting to learn more about them and

your full energy is focused on learning about that other person so when you're at the office

and you come across a coworker just ask them questions like whether they up to what are

they're doing you know what are they working on what are they eating and you wanna ask

from a genuine Curiosity not from a place of I'm asking these questions because I wanna

be accepted this number two is to elaborate on your responses when someone asked you questions

don't just give them one word answers for example if they asked you are you enjoying

the work that you're doing don't just say yes and leave it at that say yes I'm enjoying

the work that I'm doing because of reason number one and reason number two and maybe

even reason number three and this leads me to tip number three which is have a Another

way to connect with the other person is instead of just giving them one word answers or just

giving them a couple of sentences have a story to share have a story that you can tell them

about that relates to the exact topic that the both of you are talking about as humans

we love to hear stories and when you're able to share a story that is meaningful to whatever

it is that you're talking about with another person you're able to engage them further

and this is what develops your bond with the other person in a closer way so the three

components to a good story include the situation setting up Telling them what happened in that

situation what was going wrong what were the issues how you were feeling and how they were

feeling then move on to telling them about what you did as a result of that situation

what you were your action steps and then finally what was the end results and finally with

tip number four be present and listen intently have you ever been in a situation where you

are talking to someone they ask you a question and you're answering their question but you

can tell that they're not even really listening to your answer there just waiting for you

to finish talking so that they can jump in and ask you another question don't do that

don't Be waiting for them to finish answering your previous question just to ask them another

question because they'll know that you didn't actually listen to what they said here's a

fact people usually can tell when you're not listening to them and when you're lost in

your own thoughts as much as you may think that you're good at disguising it is quite

noticeable for most of us and here's a quote that I think is very fitting for this topic

and it is quote by isaac Newton and he says we build too many walls and not enough bridges

so there you have it my four tips on how you can overcome shyness and start building bridges

with other people now if you're someone who's been looking for a new career who's been searching

for Position and you haven't been getting much luck with your interviews and with your

resume and you realize that you need one on one guidance then feel free to reach out to

me head on over to my website lindaraynier.com/standoutgethired read through the page fill out the application

form and if my team and I feel that we're a match then we will reach out to you directly

if you like this video and please give it a thumbs up subscribe share with your friends

thank you so much for watching and I will see you in the next video