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  • Happy Friday.

  • Are you excited for the weekend?

  • [CHEERING]

  • A simple nod of the head would have done, but that's OK.

  • So strange-- I don't know what it is,

  • but I feel like I already know you.

  • I feel like-- and I'm sure you feel like you already know me.

  • So I'm going to put you to the test.

  • There's a game.

  • You know the game, two truths and a lie?

  • This is not like that.

  • We're going to play something totally different.

  • And it's called two lies and a truth.

  • So I'm going to tell you three facts about me.

  • One of them is true-- only one.

  • And then you have to guess which one it is.

  • OK, one-- listen carefully, because I'm going

  • to pick one of you to guess.

  • Once I worked a coat check at a burlesque club in New Orleans.

  • Once I starred in a Popeye's chicken commercial.

  • Once I made out with Tommy Lee Jones.

  • All right.

  • The woman-- yeah, with your hand on your chest with the red,

  • right there in the glasses.

  • Yeah, all right.

  • Did you listen to all three.

  • I did.

  • I did.

  • All right.

  • And they're right here, in case you want to read them, too.

  • Oh my goodness.

  • Which one do you think is the truth?

  • Number three.

  • Have you followed my career?

  • All right.

  • Well, that's not true.

  • That's not right.

  • No, the truth of it is I once-- what do you all think?

  • One!

  • Two.

  • One!

  • Yeah, yeah.

  • Yes, the majority of you saying one are wrong.

  • And the people that said number two is right--

  • [DING]

  • Unfortunately, we have proof.

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • Summer jugs from Popeye's.

  • I was very surprised.

  • I can't stand it.

  • I've got to have it.

  • (SINGING) Summer jugs from Popeye's.

  • But the summer jug special and get free refills

  • all summer long.

  • (SINGING) Fill them again and again and again.

  • Free refills with qualifying purchase.

  • (SINGING) Summer jugs from Popeye's.

  • Buy your summer jug and get free refills all summer long.

  • (SINGING) Love that chicken from Popeye's.

  • It's wonderful.

  • It's just-- gah, it's crazy!

  • [CHEERING]

  • Yep.

  • That's the beginning, right there.

  • I wish I kept that job.

  • I could have been selling those sandwiches on eBay.

  • All right, let's do another round.

  • Here we go.

  • I'm allergic to papayas.

  • I took a man to the Emmys as my date.

  • I entered an Ellen DeGeneres lookalike contest and I lost.

  • All right, sir, right there.

  • Sir?

  • I'm looking at you.

  • Yes.

  • You're next to the microphone.

  • Yes.

  • What do you think it is?

  • What's the truth?

  • It would have to be number three because that would be so funny.

  • It would be funny.

  • I believe it to be true.

  • Is it?

  • The way you say it makes me want it to be true.

  • I believe it to be true.

  • First of all, I don't know if they have Ellen DeGeneres

  • lookalike contests.

  • But that would be funny.

  • No, that is not correct.

  • What's the guess for everybody else?

  • Two!

  • One.

  • It is number two.

  • I took a man to the Emmys as my date.

  • [DING]

  • Jonathon Schaech was my date, right here.

  • Here's proof.

  • Aw.

  • I know it.

  • Should've won an Emmy for that.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • Look at that.

  • Look at the way we're looking at each other.

  • All right, one more round--

  • when I was 22, I had a pet ferret named Ferret Fawcett.

  • Portia and I have tiny matching tattoos.

  • One of my old jobs involved loading containers

  • of white powder on boats.

  • All right, I'm going to go to this side now.

  • Well, you're raising your hand in the front row.

  • Yes.

  • What do you think it is?

  • What's the truth?

  • I think it's number one.

  • You think it's number one?

  • You're wrong.

  • Can I guess again?

  • Yes, guess again.

  • I want to say two.

  • You did just say it.

  • Then two.

  • That's a sneaky way of feeling me out.

  • Yeah, kind of.

  • When there's only two of them left--

  • like I'm an idiot.

  • So two.

  • Well?

  • So two.

  • You're saying two?

  • Yes.

  • No.

  • No.

  • I don't have any tattoos.

  • I did-- I don't know if it was white powder,

  • but I did a thing for--

  • [DING]

  • I don't have any proof of this, but I did.

  • I helped load, like, supplies on boats that that came in.

  • And I don't-- I really don't know.

  • My-- all I know is I was really young

  • and I had to sit at a desk and take orders

  • of boats that were coming in.

  • And the name of my boss was Mr. Escobar.

  • That's all I know.

Happy Friday.

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A2 初級

2つの嘘と真実」でエレンの知識を試してみよう (Test Your Ellen Knowledge with '2 Lies and a Truth')

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    林宜悉 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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