But it's his frenemy knuckles I'm talking about today and how he became a god.

I'm Jocelyn, the intern.

I do all the research nobody else wants to straight from the desk battle.

So if you don't know by now, the Sonic the Hedgehog Archie comics are batshit insane.

I'm talking evil Sonic taking Sonics place and sleeping with all his lady friends insane.

But what you may not know is that in the late 19 nineties, Knuckles actually had his own line of comic books.

Unfortunately, it got canceled because nobody read them, which probably made a lot of sonic readers really confused.

When he showed up in Sonic the hedgehog Number 89 teamed up with Sonic Robin Hood to tussle with the high sheriff of snogging ham and then suddenly turned green.

Apparently, knuckles awaken his true power and, along with the color change, gave him the powers of an omnipotent god, a k a chaos knuckles.

So how did we get here?

Well, knuckles is a descendant of the Brotherhood of Guardians an ancient order of a kid knows who protects the all powerful master emerald tapping into its chaos.

Power for mystical abilities.

Back in the day, knuckles Dad had a vision of his son's death.

So in order to prevent this, he did what any logical father would dio.

He genetically experimented on himself and his unborn child, filling knuckles with chaos, energy mutating his son into the animal of abomination we saw earlier.

Now, while this looks extremely painful, it has its perks, like the ability to bend time and space.

That's nice, but what did knuckles do with all this new found power?

Well, to better understand his power, he got all Buddy Buddy with his evil grade Uncle Dmitry and the Dark Legion.

Maybe not the best choice, but for a meathead like knuckles, bad choices come pretty easy, like exploring his family tree and hooking up with his distant cousin, Julie Sue.

Sure, 11th generation removed cousin, but still there's plenty of acuteness in to see their knuckles.

Okay, Anyway, while gallivanting around with the baddies, Green Bean over here decided to get pretty liberal with time travel and wound up ruining basically everything like multiple milestone events in history just got torn apart because he tried to fix them.

And it's implied that his meddling ended up creating two timelines, a good time line and a bad timeline.

What comes next?

Oh, boy, the two timelines have very different paths for knuckles.

In the darker timeline, knuckles is a really deck.

He ends up killing everyone on Mobius and collecting their souls like some Rastafarian Xiang sung.

Also, he not only falls in love with Julie Sue, but they end up having a kid together.

Her name is Laura Sue or Jamie Codd.

Depending on who you're asking, she grows up and does some time traveling on her own.

I could do an entire episode on Laura Sue and the lawsuit it created, but we'll save that for another time.

Back in the good timeline, Knuckles eventually got control over his powers, just in time for a mammoth in a swaggy suit to steal.

Um, this guy also turned into a chaos God in a previous comic, because who hasn't?

Am I right?

With his powers weakening, fast knuckles pulled off his last resort move and, um blew himself up, blow himself up.

So now he's dead and the insanity could die with him.

Just kidding.

He didn't really.

Instead, he actually just evolved to a higher plane where he gets to do the standard ethereal stuff, you know, like attending his own funeral and meeting God who, of course, isn't a kidney named Aurora anyway.

God, Kitna was cool enough to let knuckles go back to being read, and she even threw in a little reincarnation.

In exchange.

Knuckles had to give up his God like powers well until, like 20 issues later, when they just came back because nothing really matters long term in comics.

And, of course, with his powers, returning knuckles loses control again.

But this time, the only way to stop knuckles is for his dad to sacrifice himself a fitting end to the chaos When you think about it, of course, again, nothing matters.

Because a few issues later, everything was reckoned by Mega man.

That's right.

The blue bomber and something called the Super Genesis wave basically nullified like 200 issues of Sonic the Hedgehog.

So there you go.

Now you also have to share in this useless, insane bit of knuckles knowledge, you know, sometimes reading all these comics really makes me wanna clean my eyeballs with bleach.

They're bleaching here in the studio.

When who fund that?

Remember, the vision of knuckles is death that Locke has, which sets off this entire chain of events.

It never actually happens.

Robotics.

Claude Robot never shows up.

So this storyline is completely pointless as well as right.

Conned, huh?