to roast my facial hair

Roast my facial hair

not for a video

I said. Well you've just been played! This is for a video! You've been tricked!

*LAUGHS* One of my great old epic trolls. You fell for it. You think I'm scared of your roasts?

You think I'm scared? This is the most pristine,

beautiful,

silky

..th-thing ever.

and ain't nothing bad you can say about this.

Oh, let's see what you guys are going to say: 'Oh, it looks like pubic hair, ooooooh.'

You wish you could grow pubic hair like this!

"Oh, It looks like someone killed a cat."

Whatever. Fuck off. Okay here we go. Let's read what you said!

Let's read what you said! Oh, I'm so scared.

Number one: women respecter cam

Caveman.

Oh no, he called me a caveman. Oh, look at the tears. They're just go- they're just so ..Caveman

If it looks like I'm crying, it's because it's fake tears.

'Did someone say Jesus?'

*laughs*

Well, that's good to know! My beard looks like Jesus Christ!

I thought this was a roast!

Jesus Christ the most attractive man in humankind? That's how my beard looks like? I'll take it.

Thank you. Oh look, we got Cr1TiKaL. It's actually him.

The real one. Except it's not verified so it's... dammit it's not him. Fuck.

*reads*

*silent* call me

*laugh* *reads*

*LAUGHS*

*reads*.

Oh look at that, the pubie jokes! Well done! Well Done! I say

*High Voice* "It looks like pubic hair!"

You couldn't grow pubic hair on your ass

Oh! here we go, Brad

♪ I would have gve you all of my heart ♪

♪ But there's someone who's torn it apart ♪

♪ And he's taken just all that I have ♪

♪ If you wanna try to love again ♪

*song cuts off*

That's just mean, man. Why would you? What are you implying here? These two gents have excellent facial hair!

Okay?

'A quick roast you ask? A quick diss track you receive.'

Oh, hey look it's the cat comment! Sorry, limp biscuit! (Myth Crypt).

I'm sorry, I didn't know you were still alive,

limp dicknis bitch. Fuck you. Oh, okay

I see. All right, all right. You you're drawing the- the- the island. He's lost in an island comparison

Give Tom Hanks a nice outfit,

You know suit him up, do his hair. He'd look fucking poppin' and you know it.

'Ouch.. don't roast facial hair man, use a razor'

Can I die now?

Oh here it is: 'u mean ur pubic hair on ur face?'

Hahahaha! I hear that!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Pubic hair on the fa- *hysterical laughter*

I can't roast what's already been burnt

*reads*

Listen here

Listen here you, waman?

Just because you're a whaman, I'm gonna go easy on you, but you

I Bet if you could grow a beard

*mutters* You would look like a little bitch

Is Keemstar trying to roast my beard? Keemstar, I thought you were better than this. 'I have a pretty bad one

I could say but I think it's best if I shave it'

Oh I get it

No, that was my genuine reaction there.

I get it.

'It looked like something I'd used to scrub the shit of my toi...' uuuh i- that's mean

*reads in mocking voice*

*Turbo and wastegate noise* fuck up

'Bro, it looks like it could be its own person'

It's actually kind of cute

You made... You make out with that fucking sexy ass son of a bitch

Let's get real here for a second. This is not a roast. This is a lift me up, baby, cuz you-- I'm so sexy

Oh my God, that's disgusting 'Grow it a bit more and try this' what the fuck?

Is he eating Ramen

noodles out of his

Okay, did you just swap?

*laughs*

What the fuck? It looks so weird

ha ha

Jesus Christ

Please don't ever do that again

*reads*

*weird merrr noise*

*reads*

buuh

Listen. I ain't balding. Do you see this hairline? Okay? Do you see this perfect fucking hairline? It's

Stronger than a strongest Swedish viking, okay?

Fuck you, man, okay? Ain't no insecurities here. Hah!

perfect hair perfect

facial hair perfect facial features a goddamn godlike

Complex, thank you. Thank you. What the fuck is this

Girlfriend Magazine 'Pewdiepie doesn't look like this anymore.'

Don't jump on the hate on the beard train not girlfriend magazine

Okay, so they they they picked some of the best roasts?

Cavemen

Wolverine and

Wolverine

Some fine journalism there

Oh, look, Brad your fee-- your feature on Girlfriend Magazine, Brad, congrats. A new high for you brad congrats

Well done, Brad. Well done.

Thank you

God damn it. God fucking dammit. I guess me and fucking Brad Pitt had the same God-awful

What the fuck? God daMN IT!

No, Felix, don't listen to them, your beard is beautiful.

That's better

Fuckin' hell. That's disgusting. Can someone photoshop away the eyebrows of that?

*reads*

Wow, what a well-constructed roast. Really-- really hit the nail on that one

*reads*

liked by Ecosia. 'the search engine that plants trees'

Is this all you got? I literally scroll to the bottom, ok, yeah?

Wow, incredible

That's all you had?

Nothing about how it can't connect?

Nothing about how there's no growth here whatsoever?

Nothing about how there's ginger bits in there?

I have ginger in my DNA

I discovered it now!

But the beard is staying. That's right. I don't care what your little teenage sons of bitches think

It's beautiful.

And the more y'all hate on it the more it grows

for every shit-post saying

'Pewds, please shave'

it grows another centimeter

So keep them coming kids cuz I ain't afraid I'm not insecure about your bullshit

May have failed last time

I may have given in to the pressure of shaving and that was only because I was literally fucking kidnapped

It was against my free will

[video]For four months.

Oh my God, that beard did not look good. Is it longer now?

Must have more testosterone this time around

He just added this video just to hit 10 minutes

What a pathetic person

(video) It is me

Odin,

I cannot let you do this Felix

I have watched you look like a little bitch for 26 long years

Look at this face

It's pathetic

Do not listen to your fans PewDiePie, half of them are clearly retarded [Felix]*repeats*

I'm fuckin' PewDiePie

I do what I want. I got the most subscribers

I'm gonna shave.

Fine

If you shave, I'll make it so that Marzia

won't

Felix Pewds: I'm surprised Wall Street didn't pick up on this, to be honest

No one noticed this one?

Nein!!

Jesus Christ

When was this?

June 2016

Okay, let's end the video here. Thank you SisterFisters. You can keep them coming

Shave supporters, Non-shave supporters, let me know what in the comments down below.

What do you think? What are your thoughts and comments?

They will have no impact on my life and this choice- the decisions whatsoever.

Leave a like if you want me to shave and leave a like if you want me to not shave.

Thank you guys so much

And I'll see your sisters *smooch* in another fister.