字幕表 動画を再生する 英語字幕をプリント - I know this must be a stressful thing for you having to hire someone new. So just let me know what I can do for you to make this as smooth as possible. Uh, your job posting was a little bit unclear so I went ahead, I rewrote it, made it a little more streamlined. So, statistically, this should bring in much more highly-qualified candidates. - [Interviewer] What's a time you've had a disagreement at work? - I find that disagreements, they're generally improper. And as long as everyone feels good, and is happy and is getting along, management can do as they see fit. - [Interviewer] Uh, what are you... ? - Oh, sorry, I was just sketching your portrait. You can keep that. Also, I was wondering, do you have a kombucha bar for employees? - [Interviewer] Can you handle a fast-paced working environment? - The speed at which you're asking me these questions, makes me question how fast-paced it truly is. - [Interviewer] Where do you see yourself in five years? - CEO of a company that will buy your company and increase profits a hundred-fold. - [Interviewer] What's this? - It's a poem I wrote about how I feel about this job interview. It's called Locking my Own Cage from the Inside. - [Interviewer] Okay. - It's actually pretty good. - [Interviewer] I see there's a gap in your employment. Why was that? - Uh (chuckling) yeah, gap in my resume, just like the gap in your teeth, am I right? I'm just playing around, just kidding. The gaps in my resume. I am sorry, I am just mesmerized by your teeth, right now. - [Interviewer] What would you say are your strengths? - Is my resume not detailed enough? Do I need to spell it out for you? Here, gimme that. (paper shuffling) Let me just read it to you, since apparently, it's not clear enough. Okay, you're hired. - [Interviewer] We're interviewing you. - Oh, sorry, what was this job for again? - [Interviewer] Payroll accountant. - (chuckling) What the (beep) was I thinking? - [Interviewer] Why should we hire you? - That's kind of a dumb question. - [Interviewer] If we give you the job, how much money will you make us? - Well that depends on what you mean by money. It isn't obvious to me that we're talking about the same thing. - [Interviewer] What are your weaknesses? - Uh, none. - [Interviewer] Tell me a little about yourself. - Just tell me who you want me to be and I'll be that. - [Interviewer] Do you have any questions for us? - Hey, forget the questions, I brought brownies. Let's just dig in. (uplifting music) It's a poem about about how I feel. Oh, you can't look at the camera. Okay, you're hired. (sighing) What the frick was I thinking?