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  • Ah, seems like it was yesterday. They were good days, they were!

  • Regardless of the season, or wherever you may be riding, there are a few rules we feel

  • you should follow to ensure you maintain sartorial integrity whilst riding your bike. The list,

  • although non-exhaustive, is simply what to avoid at all costs.

  • Top 10 things not to wear on a bike.

  • No socks

  • The correct sock height, length or colour are subjects perpetually debated in the world

  • of cycling. However, in order to even have the debate, you have to have socks in the

  • first place. Newbies might be tempted to go sockless to save embarrassing tan lines, but

  • you need to get over this. Tan lines are like a tattoo to confirm your membership into the

  • cycling world. Ride without socks, and you'll remain part of the amateur gang as well as

  • risking some nasty ankle and toe chafing.

  • I tell you what Matt, this is chafing a little bit. You got any plasters?

  • I think I might have some back in the car, Si.

  • Full face Helmet

  • Riding with a helmet is compulsory in our book, it goes without saying. But, riding

  • out on the road with a full face helmet, unless you're planning an off road descent, or

  • pumping round the local BMX track, just doesn't cut it. It looks distinctly dodgy for one,

  • your head will cook for two and finally we think periphery vision is an absolute must.

  • It also inhibits the intake of fluids and banter with your training partner too.

  • [Muffled conversation]

  • Compression socks

  • Quite the opposite of no socks are compression socks. On, or even off the bike, they will

  • make you look so strange that the stress of your self-consciousness will negate any performance

  • benefit. Actually, we take that back - if you're wearing them, you probably don't

  • have any self consciousness anyway.

  • Superheroes.

  • Time out on the bike is precious, especially if you're training around a job or your

  • studies. So the last thing you want to happen whilst out on your favourite loop is to have

  • to save the world from impending catastrophe and doom at the clutches of an evil genius mastermind.

  • A tip then, fly under the 'superhero responsibilities radar' by not dressing as one.

  • Simon my friend, I will fight crime until the end of it's days!

  • National Championship Jersey

  • Although fertile ground for debate, we feel there is only one situation where you are

  • allowed to wear a World or National champion's jersey. And that situation is if you are the

  • current World or National champion.

  • Yes! Oh what a day it was!

  • Oh jesus, Matt. It was 16 years ago, take it off!

  • I have to get electrical tape. Absolutely ridiculous.

  • You can, if you've been a national champion, continue to wear the stripes on your arms.

  • Can someone give me a hand?

  • Bib shorts only - no jersey.

  • Since he started working out, our very own Simon Richardson is probably the only person

  • who could get away with what is normally considered as a cycling fashion faux pas.

  • Cyclist's traditionally weedy, pasty-skinned upper bodies are things best left under wraps

  • and filed under 'specialist websites only.'

  • I tell you what, you are looking quite buff.

  • Thanks mate.

  • Pretty ripped at the moment.

  • How often do you work out, anyway?

  • I reckon probably about once a decade.

  • I did it once.

  • Suits.

  • Tally ho!

  • Rather than look like an accountant with a driving ban, keep it practical and avoid commuting in your suit.

  • You're looking well, anyway.

  • Yes, I got the all clear last Friday and now I'm enjoying life!

  • Checking your portfolio on the move is also a definite no-no. We're unsure if brogues

  • come with cleats too.

  • This just isn't working. Fancy a spurt instead?

  • Rockstars

  • Here at GCN we have actively encouraged you to sing on a bike as a way of motivating yourself,

  • which is fine.

  • But, we implore you not to 'method sing' via total immersion into the persona of your

  • favourite rock star whilst out riding.

  • People try to put us down / talking 'bout my generation / Just because we get around...

  • The image of The Who's Roger Daltrey on stage rocking double denim is an iconic one that

  • should not be tainted by trying to replicate it on a bike.

  • ...my generation baby...my generation! My generation baby...

  • The Onesie

  • Whilst reluctantly conceding they are indeed *coughs* a global fashion phenomenon, these

  • monstrosities should perhaps firmly remain the preserve of teenagers, students and the

  • sartorially misguided. Unless of course it's one that makes you look like your favourite

  • wild animal out in it's natural habitat, as we're rather fond of doing here at GCN.

  • What have you come as Matt?

  • I've come as a monkey. Always been fond of monkeys since I was a child.

  • Speedos

  • Not only do Speedos offer very little protection for your manly or womanly bits, but they also

  • look...wrong. Yes, it'll prevent you getting farmer's tan lines, but no, that's not a

  • valid excuse. If you want to do group rides without everybody trying to drop you, steer

  • well clear of Speedos - leave them for triathletes. You are far less likely to end up being

  • arrested for indecency or severely reducing your ability to start a family. Plus no-one

  • wants to ride behind someone with a severe case of the munchies.

  • I thought I was going to **** my lyrics up, but I did it alright.

  • National champion you know!

  • What awful wind!

  • We'll be making bloody feature films soon!

  • Got off on an appeal last night.

  • That was a weird accent, wasn't it?

Ah, seems like it was yesterday. They were good days, they were!

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サイクリング中に着てはいけないものトップ10 (Top 10 Things Not To Wear While Cycling)

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    Henry 楊 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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