字幕表 動画を再生する 英語字幕をプリント [phone ringing] - Hello. - Joey, it's Ross. I need some help. Uh, Chandler's not here. Well, you can help me. Okay. Listen, I'm in Elizabeth's bathroom. Nice. No, I-I got really hot in my leather pants so I took them off, but they must have shrunk from the, the sweat or something or, or my legs expanded from the heat. But I can't get them back on, Joey. I can't. Oh, that is quite a situation. Uh, do you see any, like, powder? Powder, yeah, yeah. I have powder. (Joey on phone) 'Good, good, okay.' Sprinkle some of that on your legs. It'll absorb some of the moisture and then you can get your pants back on. Yeah, okay, hold on. They're not coming on, man. Um, you see any...oh, Vaseline? Oh. I...I see lotion. I have lotion, will that work? Yeah, sure, throw some of that on there. (Ross on phone) 'Hold on.' Uh. Ross, you okay? They're still, they're still not coming on, man. And the lotion and the powder have made a paste. Really? Uh, what color is it? What difference does that make? Well, I just, if the paste matches the pants y-you can make yourself a pair of paste pants and she won't know the difference! Okay, buddy boy, here it is. You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own. Oh, my God! That is so not the opposite of taking somebody's underwear! "Look at me! I'm Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes?" Maybe if I wasn't going commando.. [groaning] Yeah. Whoo! I tell you, it's hot with all this stuff on. I, uh, I better not do any, I don't know, lunges. Okay, okay. Enough, enough of the lunging. No, I'm sick of this, okay I've had it up to here with you two Neither of you can come to the party. [scoffing] Geez, what a baby. Alright, sweetheart. This is only because I love you so much and I know that you're t going to tell anybody.■ ♪ I like...big butts and I cannot lie ♪ ♪ You other brothers can't deny ♪ ♪ When a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist ♪ ♪ And a round thing in your face.. ♪ Yes, yes, yes. Yes! ♪ I like big butts ♪ And I cannot lie ♪ You other brothers can't deny.. ♪ Oh, Emma, you're laughing! Oh, you are. You really do like big butts, don't you? Oh, you beautiful little weirdo. - Hey. - Oh, you missed it. She was laughing. Oh, it was amazing. It was amazing. It was the most beautiful, beautiful sound. Oh, I know. Isn't it? Oh, what'd you do to get her to laugh? Uh...you know, I just.. ...a couple of things, I tried...different things.. "Itsy Bitsy Spider".. You sang "Baby Got Back" didn't you? Nothing else works. That girl is all about the ass! Look, you have to help me, okay? I mean, I know what to do with a woman. You know, I know where everything goes. It's always...nice, but I need to know what makes it go from "nice" to "My God somebody's killing her in there." Alright, I'm gonna show you somethin' a lot of guys don't know. Rach, hand me that pad, please. Alright. Now.. Well, you don't have to draw an actual wo.. Whoa, she's hot. Now, everybody knows the basic erogenous zones. You got one, two, three. ...four...five.. ...six and seven. There are seven? Let me see that. Oh, yeah. That's one? [chuckling] Kind of an important one. [chuckles] Oh, you know-you know what? I was looking at it upside down. [laughs] Well, you know, sometimes that helps. Okay, now, most guys will hit, uh, one, two, three and then go to seven and set up camp. That-that's bad? Well, if you go to Disneyland you don't spend the whole day on the Matterhorn. Well, you might, if it were anything like seven. Alright, uh, the important thing is to take your time. You want to hit 'em all ...and you want to mix 'em up. You got to keep them on their toes. Oh, toes! Yeah, f-for some people. (Monica) Alright. You could, uh, start out with a-a little one.. ...a two.. ...a one, two, three.. ...a three.. A five. A four...a three, two.. ...two, a two, four, six. Two, four, six.. ...four...two.. ...two...four, seven.. ...five, seven.. ...six, seven.. ...seven...seven.. ...seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven.. ...seven! [no audio] Seven. So, how dark do you want to be? We have one, two or three. Well, uh, I like how you look. What are you? - Puerto Rican. - Two, I think a two. You're gonna face the red light. When the red light goes on, the spray's about to start so close your eyes. When the spraying stops, count to five. Pat yourself down to avoid drip marks, then turn around, so we can get your back. - You got it? - Spray, count, pat and turn. Spray, count and pat. Wow, you catch on quick. Well, I have a PhD, so.. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Miss-- Wait! Wait! I'm not.. I'm not finished counting! - You sprayed my front, twice! - You never turned? No, I barely even got to "three Mississippi" "Mississippi"? I said count to five. Mississippi-lessly? - Well, how-how bad is it? - 'Not that bad, yet.' But it keeps getting darker for the next four hours. So, how dark is it gonna get? Oh, you got sprayed with two two's and.. I'm a four? Yeah, but your back's a zero.. You're gonna wanna even that out. Really? You might wanna get back in there-- Oh, okay! Wait, wait a minute. There's no light on the back wall. How do I know when it's going to start? Hello? Ow! My eye! Ow, ah.. Ah! Alright, who would, uh, like some yams? Will? Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't ya? What? Oh. You know what? Can we please keep the chicken and the turkey and everything on the other side of the table? The smell is just...yuck... [coughs] Typical. - I'm sorry. What? I said it was typical... Typical of you, Rachel Green, Queen Rachel. Does whatever she wants in her little Rachel Land. Seriously, who is this guy? [Rachel clears throat] Sorry, do you, do you have a problem with me? I don't know. Do I? Do I? I think you do. Apparently, you were, a little mean to him in high school. "A little mean"? You made my life miserable. I'm-I'm, I had no idea. I'm sorry! Well, you should be. Screw it. Bring on the yams. Oh, Will, but you've worked so hard and-- - Yams! - Okay! (Rachel) Uh, Will, I just wanna say that I'm real sorry for whatever I-I did to you in high school. Oh, it wasn't just me. We had a club. - You had a club? - 'That's right.' The I Hate Rachel Green Club! Whoa, my God! So, what? You all just joined together to hate me? Who else was in this "club"? Me...and Ross. No need to point. She knows who Ross is. [instrumental music] I have to tie my shoe. So, you go ahead. I'll catch up. - Okay. - Okay. Come on! That's not running! Let's go! - Hi! - Oh! Oh, yeah, uh-huh, it's . I saw you grab your running shoes this morning and sneak out. You lied so you could run by yourself. No. No, Phoebe, no. I was, no. You know what? I was...I was actually just checking.. ...to see...if I could run and I can. Please, Rachel, I am not an idiot. No, wait, Phoebe. [instrumental music] - Hey! - Hey! Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. You were right, this feels great! See? And you don't care if people are staring. It's just for a second, 'cause then you're gone Gone! I mean, it's amazing, Phoebs! I feel so free, and so graceful. [screaming] [whinnying] Hey! Look out for the horse! Sorry. - Hi. - Hi. You, uh...wanted to see me? Yeah. Uh, here's a box of your stuff. What? Uh, you know, it's just, like, hats and shirt and CDs.. Just sort of stuff that you've left here. What are you doing, are-are you trying to hurt me or something? No. Ross, it.. It just seems that, you know, it's time we.. you know, move on. I mean, don't you think? - Yes. - Yeah. - Yes, I do. - Good. Yeah, I-I really do. Hey! This.. This was a gift. Ross, you got that for free from the museum gift shop. It's still a gift. I got if from the gift. Okay. Alright. Give me the mug. I'll keep the mug. No! You know, don't do me any favors. In fact, where.. Where's the rest of my stuff? Like, like, my, um...hey! This book is mine! And-and-and and that t-shirt you sleep in I'd like that back, too. Yes, I do. You know how much I love that t-shirt. You never even wear that t-shirt. I'm just trying to help you move on.■ Oh, you are a petty man.