字幕表 動画を再生する 英語字幕をプリント - Yo wad up bird faces and turd bodies? It's Bryce Chryson. - And I'm Damdameron. - And today we're gonna teach you - [Both] how to go viral. - First lesson, get hurt. People love physical comedy, AKA, watching people feel pain. I'll show you an example. Whoa! (Courtney crashes) (Courtney moans) (phone rings) Oh! Hey babe, what's up? I'm just filming a, what? You don't know, you're right. I think you're too good for me too. Okay, love you, or I won't say that. (phone beeps) My girlfriend just broke up with me. (somber music) That hurt, that really hurt. I better film a quick TikTok before these tears dry up. Ha ha, viral. Do something heroic. (Shayne sips) (cup clatters) I'm not gonna pick that up 'cause it touched the ground, which makes it trash, and that's gross. You've gone viral. - Be consistent. Don't post a video unless you know it's gonna be viral. And how do you know it's gonna be viral? You don't. You find out by posting it. But don't post it unless you know it's gonna go viral, which you, which you won't know until you post it, but don't post it. Unless it's gonna go viral. And then you post it. But don't, how will, my head hurts. - I've gone too viral. Show off one of your many talents. For instance, I can do this thing. Well, I can't actually do that. I can, I can juggle. No, I can't. I can't juggle. Oh, (beeps) okay, never mind, moving on. Yo, you got some viral? - Propose to your girlfriend. (Courtney sighs) I don't have a girlfriend anymore. I should have thought about that before hitting record. Why does everyone leave me? Oh hell yeah! Two crying TikToks in a day. My heart's just like this broken thing, that's all broken and stuff. She broke it. ♪ With you ♪ ♪ And I'm with you ♪ - Uh oh, viral. Get a DUI. The first step to getting a DUI is getting your license. Driving without one is extremely dangerous. Safety first. Damn, these questions are tough. Who knew getting a DUI meant you had to be super smart? All right, I gave up on getting my license because that (beeps) was way too hard. But I did get drunk. So maybe I can get a drunk in public or something. That's called being resources. Oh, (beeps), viral. - This is a really important one. It's all about the hashtags. Hashtag cute. Hashtag boy. Hashtag thank you first responders. That's for all the people who comment first on my TikToks 'cause they respond first. So, thank you first responders. - Viral. Get pity likes by pretending you've had a health scare. I just had surgery. They thought I was going to die because my dick was too big. So they had to cut some of it off. But don't worry, my dick is still really big. Vee-ral. - Try collabing with someone who's way more popular than you. - And that's why you wanted to collab with me. - No, that's why you wanted to collab with me. - In case you haven't noticed, I'm way cooler than you. - Aren't you like 40? - Jokes on you. I don't know how old I am because I forgot, and my parents they won't answer my phone calls. - Oh, my mom left so I know what you mean. - Are you, are you crying? Can you teach me how to do that? - No, this is my thing. This is my thing. - Viral. Steal a funny tweet. You tellin' me a shrimp fried this rice? (Shayne laughs) It's funny because shrimps is small, but rice are also small, which is absurd. Yo, where's the camera at? Oh, right there? Viral. - This one's easy. Create a new dance. (R&B music) - Yo, I think that's just the savage dance. - I mean yeah, but mine's like a different version, so. - What's different about your version? - Because I did it. It's like put my own Dameron flavor of the dance, and no dance is the same. And my dance is set from far apart from all the other dances. So it's its own dance. Super easy to think about. - I think I understand. It is like you telling me a shrimp fried this rice but a dance. Viral. Say something extremely controversial. All right, here it comes. People from Minnesota are dumb. - Hey man, not to rain on your parade at all, but your advice seems a little negative and like kinda bad. - Yeah? Well, your advice only works if you already have followers. It wouldn't work for a normal person. - You're right. I'm not normal. I feel my emotions way more strongly than anybody else. - My dude, I think that's just hormones. I have those too. They make me all bonery. - You're kinda disgusting, bro. Like nothing, not trying to step on your toes, but like, you're kinda disgusting. You're kinda despicable. You make me a little nauseous. - Whoa, only my doctor and my ex, Breanna, can tell me that. Let me write this in my viral notebook. - This actually brings me to my last piece of advice, which is start drama with another influencer. - Oh, I get it! I tricked you into starting beef with me for the video. Man, I'm smart. You only have followers 'cause you're cute. - You only have followers 'cause you're hot. - Wow, thanks for saying that I'm hot. - Thanks for saying I'm cute. - To be real with you, if I was your girlfriend, I would have never broken your heart. - Thank you. I totally forgot about her. (Courtney moans) - I can cry too. - No you can't, dude. Look, you're so bad at it. Stop. Stop. You're minimizing my crying by trying to cry too. (Shayne yells) I feel emotional. - [Both] How to go viral. (screen beeps) - What's up, losers? What's up, dip (beeps) and idiots? What's up, Tweedledee and Tweedledums? It's me, Bryce Chryson. (screen beeps) - I'm Dameron Pates, as well as, you may also AKA know me as Damdameron. (Courtney giggles) (screen beeps) - Oh look, I'm going down a viral staircase. (screen beeps) - You're gonna go viral today. You're gonna have a good time. We're gonna learn how to go on the internet. Ignore the motorcycles outside. I live in hell. (screen beeps) - So they had to cut half of it off. So now my dick is only 12 inches long. (screen beeps) - What's up baby girls? Ew, that was gross. (screen beeps) - I don't know how old I am because I used my birth certificate to snort cocaine, and my parents have disowned me because I have snorted so much cocaine. (screen beeps) - Also ladies, please be nice in the comments. I have quarantine hair. (screen beeps) - This is gonna be so controversial. Like I don't even know if I can say this, but like, all right, here it comes. People from Minnesota are from Canada. (screen beeps) - I look like Lord Farquaad. (screen beeps) - People from Canada are made out of maple syrup. People from Canada are related to a moose. People from Minnesota and Illinois are the exact same. Minnesota and Canada are the same continent. (screen beeps) - So the dance is separate from everybody else's dance 'cause I did it on my video. It's my video, and I did it, and it's gonna be viral. I don't even need to even test it. The video's gonna go viral. It's fine. I mean look at me. It's fine. - Only my doctor and the checkout lady at Safeway can tell me that. Only my doctor and my imaginary friend, Pascal, can tell me that. You can not tell me I am disgusting definitively because you are not a physicist. (screen beeps) - Hey, Damdameron here. Thanks for watching this video. I hope you got a lot of insight on how to go viral. 'Cause, you know, we know how to do that. We've done it a few times in our day. (Courtney chuckles) If you want to watch some more videos, we have one over there. It's pretty good, and if you want to wear some more swag, which we've got plenty of, it's over there. It's pretty tasty. And if you want to stay with us and like make a commitment to us as a relationship, you commit to us, you can subscribe down there. That's basically getting married to a YouTube channel. I'm looking for love actively right now, and I'm struggling. (Courtney sighs)