Placeholder Image

字幕表 動画を再生する

  • -Welcome to "The Tonight Show" starring

  • me, Jimmy Fallon.

  • Hi, everybody. Happy Friday.

  • Let's get some jokes here.

  • Well, guys, this Sunday is Mother's Day.

  • Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there!

  • That's right, this Sunday is Mother's Day,

  • but experts are telling people

  • not to visit their moms, or hug them.

  • In other words, they want us to treat Mother's Day

  • like it's Father's Day.

  • You kids remembered?

  • You didn't? [ Laughs ]

  • Of course, a lot of kids had to serve their mom

  • breakfast in bed. That's nice.

  • It'd be special, if you hadn't

  • eaten every meal in bed for the past two months.

  • It's the thought that counts.

  • Meanwhile, I saw that 23&Me is offering a discount

  • on DNA testing kits for Mother's Day, yeah.

  • 'Cause nothing says "Mother's Day" like saying,

  • "Are you really my mom?

  • Let's really find out."

  • Have you ever done that?

  • -Never.

  • I haven't done it either.

  • -I'm scared to give it up.

  • -Why? -It goes into the system and...

  • -Please.

  • You're already in the system.

  • -[ Chuckle ]

  • -[ Chuckle ] I'm in -- We're all in the system.

  • [ Laughing ] Right now, you're already in the system.

  • -[ Laughing ] -I just saw you walk by you.

  • They've cloned you already.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Check this out. Dunkin' Donuts has started offering

  • DIY donut kits that come with a variety

  • of frosting and sprinkles.

  • Take a look.

  • It's perfect if you want to give give your kids

  • a 30-second activity

  • and yourself an hour of cleaning.

  • That's right, you can make your own Dunkin' Donuts at home

  • and, to make it authentic, the first step is

  • to let the donuts sit outside for 30 days.

  • [ Laughs ]

  • Oh, I saw that, after the release

  • of Mountain Dew-flavored Doritos, you can now buy

  • Mountain Dew Baja Blast lip balm.

  • Unfortunately, that's not all Mountain Dew is coming out with.

  • Take a look at this commercial.

  • -Mountain Dew is proud to introduce

  • our new Mountain Dew Baja Blast lip balm!

  • We ain't stoppin' there.

  • We got a whole slew

  • of Mountain Dew-inspired products

  • that'll get! you! amped!

  • I'm talkin' Citrus Assault eye drops!

  • See the burn!

  • High-octane Berry Blast Blizzard Tsunami Tylenol PM!

  • You're gonna sleep so hard!

  • Hey, Code Red toilet paper!

  • Flush it!

  • Mountain Dew! The bath salts of soda!

  • Yeah! [ Whip cracks ]

  • -Listen to this -- starting on Monday,

  • Amtrak will require all passengers to wear

  • face masks or coverings.

  • Meanwhile, Greyhound said you can rip off

  • whatever fabric is left on the seats

  • and make your own mask.

  • I read that Google told employees

  • that they can no longer expense their lunch

  • while working from home.

  • That's right, Google made the change

  • after one -- Sorry. My phone's ringing.

  • Pause it.

  • [ Chuckle ] Hello.

  • [ Laughs ] Hi. It's Jimmy. How are ya?

  • -Jimmy. -[ Laughing ]

  • This is -- -Why are you laughing?

  • -I'm laughing because I'm in middle of my monologue.

  • Would you mind if I put this on speaker phone?

  • 'Cause people aren't gonna believe this.

  • -[ Speaks indistinctly ]

  • -[ Laughing ]

  • Here it is.

  • [ Laughter ] -Guys, this is --

  • This is Barbra -- -Recognize my laugh.

  • -This is Barbra Streisand on the phone.

  • Hi! I'm so happy you're calling.

  • Happy belated birthday! -Oh, well, you know,

  • what have I got to do all day?

  • You know. -[ Laughing ]

  • Oh, my God. -How are you doing?

  • What are you doing?

  • -Ohhh!

  • How am I doing, Jimmy?

  • Well, you know, I just made this video

  • and so I -- -Oh, I loved it, by the way.

  • I saw it. -I just wondered if you saw it.

  • That's all. -Ugh!

  • -"You'll Never Walk Alone" is one of my favorites!

  • And you're one of my favorites.

  • By the way, how do I know this is the real Barbra Streisand?

  • -How do you know? -What's my favorite

  • Barb-- Yeah. -Okay, okay.

  • What is it? What do you want to know?

  • -[ Laughing ] What's my favorite Barbra Streisand song?

  • Would you know? -I think -- I think it may be...

  • People ♪ -[ Laughing ]

  • -♪ People who need people

  • We all need each other now, more than ever, don't we, Jimmy?

  • -Oh! We really do.

  • I love "You'll Never Walk Alone."

  • I'm a big fan of "Carousel"

  • and, obviously -- -Oh.

  • -I remember you did that.

  • So you performed that song --

  • Was it after 9/11?

  • -Yes, yes, yes.

  • What I did was integrate that performance

  • with pictures of these amazing,

  • dedicated healthcare workers that are risking their lives

  • every day during this crisis, so, it's an ode to them

  • you know? -It's beautiful.

  • I did get to see it.

  • I love that you did that.

  • -Oh, good. And it ends

  • with a title card about Direct Relief,

  • which is an organization that supplies

  • very much needed protective gear to doctors and nurses, you know.

  • -Yeah. We love Direct Relief.

  • Actually, I can talk about this.

  • This'll be on the show tonight, if you don't mind.

  • I could put a chyron so people can donate to Direct Relief.

  • -Oh, that's so nice.

  • That's really nice.

  • Thank you for doing that.

  • -You've been doing amazing stuff during this whole thing

  • and I'm thankful that you're staying healthy

  • and staying at home.

  • Did you get to enjoy your birthday at all?

  • -My birthday? My birthday, I had a --

  • Well, we tried to have a Zoom birthday,

  • but it was kind of a fiasco

  • because I'm very technically challenged...

  • -[ Laughing ] -...and I didn't know you had

  • to be close to the computer when you're talking,

  • so nobody could hear me and, you know.

  • My friends were more competent.

  • They sent in little videos, which my office put together,

  • so it was wonderful to see everyone for like a few minutes

  • before I had to like say, "This is ridiculous," you know?

  • -[ Laughs ] That's fantastic. -So I decided that --

  • -Anyway. -So, I have been home, you know,

  • just with my husband and my dog.

  • My dogs. I have three of them now.

  • And my assistant of 47 years is just amazing.

  • -Wow. -But do you want to know

  • what I do during the day? -Yeah. Like what happens

  • when you wake up? -Okay.

  • Well, I tweet many times a day --

  • I don't know if you follow me, but --

  • to express my feelings about this administration

  • and what they're doing and not doing, like testing.

  • And then, I have to calm myself down with coffee ice cream,

  • but it keeps me up at night, so I can't sleep,

  • so I have to eat it for breakfast,

  • but my breakfast is 12:00 noon

  • because I stay up till 4:00 in the morning, see?

  • -[ Laughs ] -Reading the news

  • and researching companies to invest in for my foundation.

  • That's how I raise funds so I can give money to great causes.

  • -You are fascinating and you give to so many causes.

  • You really do so much giving,

  • which is an awesome thing that you do.

  • -Well, I wanted to help New York, so I, you know,

  • gave a lot of PPE to Mount Sinai in New York

  • 'cause that's where my son was born.

  • And in L.A., it's UCLA

  • and Cedars-Sinai and Saint John's,

  • 'cause they need medical equipment, you know?

  • -They really do. -We're giving to organizations

  • that help people who are hungry, like America's Food Fund

  • and Feeding America; the World Health Organization,

  • which, we really need them...

  • -Oh! -...by the way, so.

  • I'm also thinking about the next election

  • and I've been contributing to organizations

  • like Rock the Vote, Indivisible, America Votes,

  • which help people get registered

  • because we want to make sure everyone can exercise

  • their right to vote in November safely,

  • which means we need to make it possible to vote by mail.

  • You've heard about all this, right?

  • -Yeah. You should mail in your votes.

  • Get on it right now and get it in there, yeah.

  • -You know, we have to do that to ensure one person, one vote.

  • We have to get rid of the electoral college, too.

  • -Yeah. -But am I talking too much...

  • -No! Not at all! -...politics?

  • [ Laughs ] -You can talk for the rest here.

  • I just love that you called.

  • [ Laughing ] I happened to be doing the monologue.

  • It wasn't that great of a joke, either.

  • I'm not even gonna tell you what it was.

  • -What kind of monologue are you doing

  • today? -Oh, you know,

  • I'm doing some Mother's Day jokes, you know.

  • I'm talking about, uh -- Amtrak jokes.

  • There's nothing really --

  • -You're trying to -- Yeah, right.

  • -I'm trying to make people smile.

  • [ Laughs ] -I think you're right.

  • I think we have to laugh.

  • If not, you know, we would be crying, so.

  • I think you're doing a good job, honey.

  • -Barbra, love you so much,

  • and maybe I'll give you a call later.

  • We'll have some Zoom cocktails for your birthday.

  • -Okay, that one I just didn't quite hear,

  • but what did you just say? It broke up.

  • -I'm gonna Zoom you later.

  • Maybe we'll have some cocktails for your birthday.

  • -No, don't Zoom me. Call me on the phone

  • because I'm not a Zoomer, okay?

  • -I love you so much. -Have a good show, honey.

  • -Thank you. I will have a great show.

  • Oh, my gosh, thank you so much.

  • Good to hear from you, bud. -You're so welcome.

  • Love you. Bye-bye. -Love you.

  • [ Laughs ]

  • -I mean, legendary. -Come on. Come on.

  • -The best.

  • -That's so weird 'cause I put it in the thing.

  • I said I loved her. "You Will Never Walk Alone,"

  • which is one of my favorites from "Carousel."

  • I go, "I love Barbra Streisand. I love her version of that song.

  • And it's so fitting now. It's moving. It'll make you cry."

  • Shows all the people working on the front lines.

  • And so I just put -- See? She's magic.

  • She is magical.

  • Already the show's off the rails.

  • This is the craziest show with Bootsy and Bill Murray,

  • Mark Ruffalo, Guy Fieri, Miranda Lambert.

  • Okay, let me finish the monologue here.

  • Listen to this. Starting on Monday, Amtrak will require --

  • [ Laughs ]

  • I love that she called.

  • I read that Google told employees

  • that they can no longer expense their lunch working from home.

  • Google made the change after one employee's lunch

  • was a steak, a Nintendo Switch, and a pool table.

  • And finally, I saw that

  • there's a new "Breaking Bad" Monopoly board game.

  • It's just like the regular game except Mr. Monopoly

  • is wearing tighty-whities and a gas mask.