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  • THERE'S SO MUCH GOING ON WITH

  • THE CORONAVIRUS, GENESIS REUNITE

  • BEING, AND ON TOP OF ALL THAT,

  • JOE BIDEN HAS RISEN FROM THE

  • DEAD.

  • SUPER TUESDAY WAS LIKE EASTER

  • SUNDAY FOR JOE BIDEN WHO STAGED

  • THE BIGGEST COME BACK SINCE

  • ROBERT DOWNEY JR.

  • HE WON TEN STATES, INCLUDING

  • TEXAS AND MASSACHUSETTS WHERE HE

  • WASN'T EXPECTED TO DO WELL.

  • HE NOW HAS MORE DELEGATES THAN

  • ANY DEMOCRAT AND BIDEN REVEALED

  • HE IS ALSO THE BANANA ON THE

  • MASKED SINGER, SO THAT'S, IT

  • WASN'T ALL GREAT NEWS FOR YOE.

  • IMMEDI

  • THE VERY FIRST MOMENT OF HIS

  • CELEBRATION SPEECH WAS MARRED BY

  • THIS.

  • >> THEY DON'T CALL IT SUPER

  • TUESDAY FOR NOTHING!

  • BY THE WAY, THIS IS MY LITTLE

  • SISTER VALERIE, AND I'M JILL'S

  • HUSBAND.

  • OH, NO.

  • THEY WITCHED ON ME.

  • THIS IS MY WIFE, THIS IS MY

  • SISTER.

  • THEY WITCSWITCHED ON ME.

  • >> Jimmy: I HOPE THEY DON'T MIX

  • UP THE HOTEL ROOM KEYS,

  • BECAUSE -- OH, BOY.

  • IT WAS A LOCKERSHOCKER OF THE D

  • BERNIE SANDERS.

  • A LOT OF PEOPLE WAITED UNTIL THE

  • LAST SECOND TO DECIDE, IT WAS

  • LIKE A WEDDING CEREMONY ON "LOVE

  • IS BLIND."

  • IN CALIFORNIA, LINES WERE, SOME

  • VOTERS HERE IN LOS ANGELES

  • WAITED THREE HOURS TO VOTE, AND

  • IF I'M WAITING IN LINE FOR THREE

  • HOURS, I BETTER GET A POPEYE'S

  • CHICKEN SANDWICH AT THE END OF

  • IT.

  • THIS IS IS WWHAT IT WAS LIKE IN

  • SACRAMENTO LAST NIGHT WHERE ONE

  • UNLUCKY DAD LEARNED THE VALUE OF

  • THE WORDS "VOTE BY MAIL."

  • >> YOU'RE AT THE END OF THE

  • LINE.

  • >> YEAH.

  • >> WHAT AN HONOR.

  • >> HOLD ON, DAD, I'M ON THE

  • NEWS.

  • I'M TRYING TO GET HIM TO COME

  • VOTE.

  • >> IT CLOSES IN TWO MINUTES.

  • >> NEVER MIND.

  • >> Jimmy: COULD HAVE BEEN THE

  • ONE THAT PUT TULSI GABBARD OVER

  • THE TOP.

  • IT'S ESSENTIALLY A TWO-MAN

  • CONTEST, JOE AND BERNIE FIGHTING

  • FOR THE NOMINATION LIKE IT'S THE

  • LAST BOWL OF JELL-O AT THE

  • SENIOR CENTER.

  • ISN'T YOUR LATE 70s A WEIRD TIME

  • TO START A NEW JOB?

  • THE ONLY JOB YOU SHOULD START IN

  • YOUR 70s IS WALMART GREETER.

  • WE ALREADY HAVE A RULE THAT YOU

  • CAN'T BE YOUNGER THAN 35 TO BE

  • PRESIDENT.

  • I THINK CONGRESS NEEDS TO CAP

  • THAT, TOO, AT AGE 70.

  • PEOPLE LIKE GEORGE WASHINGTON,

  • NO ONE EXPECTED TO LIVE UNTIL

  • AGE 78.

  • THE AVERAGE LIFE EXPECTANCY WAS

  • 35 THEN.

  • BACK IN 1789, THEY MADE THE

  • MINIMUM AGE TO BE PRESIDENT 35.

  • MAYBE THEY DIDN'T WANT A

  • PRESIDENT, I DON'T KNOW.

  • BY THE WAY, WHY IS THE MINIMUM

  • AGE 35 IN IF WE WANT SOMEBODY

  • WHO'S 33 AND GREAT, WE CAN'T

  • HAVE THAT PERSON IS?

  • JESUS DIED AT 33.

  • HE WOULD HAVE BEEN INELIGIBLE TO

  • BE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED

  • STATES.

  • [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

  • I DON'T KNOW.

  • I FEEL LIKE THE REASON THAT WE

  • GO FOR THE OLD WHITE GUYS IS

  • BECAUSE WHEN WE WERE GROWING UP,

  • WE WERE TOLD THAT'S WHAT GOD

  • LOOKED LIKE.

  • AND NOW, BECAUSE OF HIS

  • RELATIONSHIP WITH BARACK OBAMA,

  • JOE BIDEN IS VERY POPULAR WITH

  • AFRICAN-AMERICANS, AND BERNIE,

  • ONE OF THE REASONS HE WAS THIAB

  • TO DO SO WELL IS HE'S STRONG

  • WITH LATINOS.

  • PRESIDENT TRUMP THIS AFTERNOON

  • DEMONSTRATED HIS POWERFUL

  • COMMAND OF ESPANOL.

  • >> ALSO HERE THIS AFTERNOON IS

  • IS MIGUEL GUTIERREZ.

  • I

  • I'D LIKE TO ASK MIGUEL TO COME

  • UP AND GIVE US YOUR STORY.

  • >> Jimmy: ALL'S MIG-WELL THAT

  • ENDS MIG-WELL.

  • IT'S NOT LIKE A COMMON NAME.

  • GUILLERMO, HOW MANY GUYS DO YOU

  • KNOW NAMED MIGUEL?

  • >> Guillermo: ONLY ONE.

  • >> Jimmy: SEE?

  • AND'S FROM THERE.

  • OUR PRESIDENT ALSO KEPT BUSY ON

  • TWITTER.

  • HE POSTED A PICTURE OF MIKE

  • BLOOMBERG LICKING HIS FINGERS

  • WHILE EATING PIZZA.

  • HE WROTE, DON'T LICK YOUR DIRTY

  • FINGERS, BOTH UNSANITARY AND

  • DANGEROUS TO YOURSELF AND

  • OTHERS.

  • I THINK HE'S SURPRISED THEY ARE

  • BIG ENOUGH TO LICK.

  • I WANT TO LOOK AT THIS VIDEO

  • AGAIN.

  • THIS REALLY HAVE SOMETHING.

  • IT'S A CRAZY WEEK WHEN I AGREE

  • WITH THE PRESIDENT ON SOMETHING,

  • BUT THAT IS, I THINK HE JUST

  • STARTED THE DOMINOES RIEVIRUS

  • THERE.

  • THE NEW YORK MAYOR DROPPED OUT

  • OF THE RACE.

  • THE ONLY PLACE HE WON WAS

  • AMERICAN SAMOA.

  • IT WOULD HAVE BEEN CHEAPER FOR

  • HIM TO JUST BUY AMERICAN SAMOA,

  • FOR THAT MUCH MONEY, THESE ARE

  • THE THINGS MIKE BLOOMBERG COULD

  • HAVE BOUGHT WITH $500 MILLION.

  • THIS ORIGINAL DA VINCI.

  • 250 BU BOUGATTIS.

  • 25 OF THOSE HEART OF THE OCEAN

  • NECKLACES FROM "TITANIC."

  • THE CALGARY FLAMES.

  • HE COULD HAVE PAID FOR ALL OF

  • TRUMP'S GOLF SINCE HE BECAME

  • PRESIDENT.

  • AND WHILE BLOOMBERG MAY NOW BE

  • OUT OF THE RACE HE DID RELEASE

  • ONE FINAL CAMPAIGN AD, WHICH,

  • HAD IT RUN, MAY HAVE PROVEN TO

  • BE HIS MOST EFFECTIVE YET.

  • >> AMERICA, OURS IS A NATION

  • FOUNDED ON IDEAS.

  • WE NEED A CANDIDATE WHO CAN WIN

  • VOTERS' HEARTS AND MINDS.

  • MIKE BLOOMBERG IS THAT

  • CANDIDATE.

  • HE'S THE ONLY DEMOCRAT RUNNING

  • WHOSE NAME YOU HEAR IN EVERY

  • SINGLE COMMERCIAL BREAK, EVERY

  • SINGLE TIME YOU TURN ON THE TV.

  • YOU'VE SEEN HEM THOUSANDS OF

  • TIMES.

  • BUT LOOK AT HIM.

  • REALLY, LOOK AT HIM.

  • LOOK DEEP INTO HIS EYES.

  • SURRENDER YOURSELF TO THE

  • INEVITABLE.

  • SUBMIT TO BLOOMBERG.

  • THERE IS ONLY BLOOMBERG.

  • BLOOM-BERG.

  • >> I'M MIKE BLOOMBERG, AND

  • YOU'LL DO AS I COMMAND.

  • >> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW, I GUESS

  • NOT, I GUESS NOW WE WON'T.

  • [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

  • SO BLOOMBERG IS OUT.

  • HE ENDORSED JOE BIDEN TODAY.

  • AND THIS IS VERY CLEVER.

  • THEY HAVE A GREAT PLAN,

  • ACTUALLY, FOR THE UNSOLD

  • BLOOMBERG CAMPAIGN MERCHANDISE.

  • YOU KNOW HOW BECAUSE OF THE

  • CORONAVIRUS THERE'S A SHORTAGE

  • OF THOSE MASKS?

  • WELL, NOT ANYMORE THANKS TO

  • CLEVER TAILORING ON THE TEAM OF

  • TEAM BLOOM BERPG.

  • THERE YOU GO, PROBLEM SOLVED.

  • PRESIDENT TRUMP IS A WELL-KNOWN

  • GERM PHONEE

  • GERMAPHOBE, AND HE'S SAID TO BE

  • GOING AROUND THE WHITE HOUSE

  • SAYING "I CAN'T GET SICK, I

  • CAN'T GET SICK", HE SUPPOSEDLY

  • BANNED SOME STAFFERS FROM HIS

  • OFFICE.

  • AND YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE WHO HE

  • BLAMES ON THE LIMITS FOR

  • TESTING.

  • >> OBAMA ADMINISTRATION MADE A

  • DECISION ON TESTING THAT TURNED

  • OUT TO BE VERY DETRIMENTAL ON

  • WHAT WE'RE DOING, AND WE UNDID

  • THAT DECISION A FEW DAYS AGO.

  • >> Jimmy: HE ALSO BLAMED

  • PRESIDENT OBAMA FOR POKEMON GO.

  • TRUMP HAS BEEN TELL ADVISING HIS

  • MEETINGS ON THIS.

  • HE HAD A ROUND TABLE WITH THE

  • CEOS OF THE AIRLINES DURING

  • WHICH HE PRESENTED THE BRIEGHT

  • SIDE OF THE CORONAVIRUS.

  • >> IT'S AFFECTING THE AIRLINE

  • BUSINESS AS IT WOULD.

  • AND A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE STAYING

  • IN OUR COUNTRY, SHOPPING AND

  • USING OUR HOTELS IN THIS

  • COUNTRY.

  • SO FROM THAT TANSTANDPOINT I TH

  • THERE'S PROBABLY A POSITIVE

  • IMPACT.

  • >> Jimmy: RIGHT, AND GUESS WHO

  • OWNS HOTELS.

  • THAT'S RIGHT, THE SMARTEST MAN

  • IN THE WORLD.

  • MIKE PENCE GAVE A CORONAVIRUS

  • UPDATE.

  • HE BRAGGED THAT THEY HAVE, HE

  • SAID IN A POSITIVE WAY, WE HAVE

  • 2500 TESTING KITS AVAILABLE.

  • THAT'S GREAT, THAT'S LIKE THE

  • SHIP IS SINKING, BUT DON'T

  • WORRY, WE HAVE AN INNER TUBE,

  • JUMP ON.

  • BUT THE PRESIDENT IS NOT WRONG.

  • PEOPLE ARE HOPPINSHOPPING A LOT

  • MOSTLY BUYING HAND SANITIZER,

  • WHICH YOU CANNOT FIND NOW

  • BECAUSE OF PANIC BUYING.

  • THIS IS A TEXT I GOT FROM JAMES

  • BABY DOLL DIXON.

  • HE WON'T FLY, HE WON'T DO

  • ANYTHING.

  • THIS PHOTO YOU'RE ABOUT TO SEE

  • IS THE REAL PASSENGER SEAT OF

  • HIS CAR.

  • HE'S GOT CIGARETTES, TOWELETTES

  • AND DOUGHNUTS EVEN.

  • IF THE CORONAVIRUS DOESN'T GET

  • HIM, EVERYTHING ELSE IN THIS CAR

  • WILL.

  • ALSO A BOTTLE OF COLOGNE IN THE

  • MIDDLE WHICH HE COULD GARGLE IN

  • A PINCH.

  • BE WELL, BABY DOLL.

  • SMOKE HARD AND EVERYTHING WILL

  • BE OKAY.

  • SOME SCUMBAGS ARE TAKING