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  • Imagine that we're walking through a sandy village bazaar, and we notice a crowd gathering

  • around one of the shops.

  • A masked merchant thrusts an item into the air, and everyone starts making offers: a

  • life of service, non-vital limbs, acres of land, and thousands of jewels.

  • What could be worth all this time, energy, and wealth?

  • A golden lamp.

  • A being of unimaginable knowledge and power lives inside that lamp: a genie.

  • He can be freed by rubbing the lamp, and in exchange for his freedom, he's willing to

  • grant three wishes.

  • Wishes sit at the peak of valuable gifts.

  • We can use them to become wealthy, beautiful, successful, and even generous.

  • They empower us to become who we want to be.

  • Our minds create a map that leads us from who we are to who we want to be, but genies

  • allow us to travel to the destination in an instant.

  • Although we may not be able to do it as fast as a genie, we can learn to grant wishes.

  • And we have to start by developing our empathy.

  • The root of empathy is *pathos*, a word from Ancient Greece.

  • It has multiple definitions that can't be separated: experience, suffering, emotion,

  • and destiny.

  • Our experience of suffering is intertwined with our destiny.

  • Growth lies in overcoming our pain.

  • Sitting on the couch all day produces bodily pains, hunger, and boredom.

  • Hunger causes us to eat, which causes us to grow stronger.

  • Boredom causes us to read, which causes us to grow smarter.

  • Pathos is the unavoidable pain intertwined with our growth.

  • Empathy is the ability to understand our pathos and map out who we are, who we want to become,

  • and the obstacles standing in our way.

  • After identifying the obstacles in our way, we can start gaining the knowledge and power

  • we need to overcome them.

  • We gain power and knowledge through trial and error, practice, and experimentation.

  • By overcoming obstacles, we become competent.

  • With empathy and competence, we learn to negotiate with ourselves.

  • We know how to exchange our time and energy to reach our goals.

  • Being able to negotiate with ourselves leads to a good internal relationship.

  • But no one is competent enough to do everything on their own.

  • We depend on good external relationships to fulfill our wishes, and luckily, we can use

  • empathy and competence to negotiate with others.

  • Nina is a wealthy entrepreneur with no time to cook, and Nick is a phenomenal chef with

  • no job.

  • She would like to get fit and eat healthily, and he would like to make a steady income.

  • By empathizing with each other's pain and exchanging competencies, Nick and Nina can

  • negotiate a successful business arrangement.

  • They can fulfill each other's wishes.

  • On a mountain of valuable gifts, wishes sit at the peak.

  • They empower us to become who we want to be.

  • But the ability to grant wishes is made up of three skills that we find in the geniethe

  • greatest granter of wishes.

  • After freeing the genie from his lamp, he asks us what we would like.

  • He demonstrates empathy.

  • "Genie, we'd like the ability to fly," we say.

  • "I can do that," he replies.

  • He snaps his fingers and gives us wings.

  • The genie demonstrates his competence and ability to negotiate.

  • He knows what we want, can make it happen, and will make it happen.

  • By mastering negotiation, competence, and empathy, we can learn to grant any wish.

  • Together, all three skills combine to form a pyramid: empathy at the base, competence

  • in the middle, and negotiation at the top.

  • And since the others depend on it, empathy is the most valuable skill.

  • Without empathy, even a genie can't make us happy.

  • Without knowing our desired location, there's nowhere we can go that would satisfy us.

  • And yet, even if we knew our destination and could be transported there, I can't help but

  • believe that we would just set a new destination.

  • Perhaps, the process of walking the path is just as important as understanding and creating

  • it.

  • Like baking soda mixing with vinegar, the kissing of two tectonic plates, or the collision

  • of two heavenly bodies, me and you, we might be the process that arises under the right

  • universal conditions.

  • Maybe, we're like raindrops leaving the clouds and heading towards the ocean—a process

  • between two end states.

  • And yet, all of the beauty, joy, and freedom lies in the act

  • of falling.

Imagine that we're walking through a sandy village bazaar, and we notice a crowd gathering


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B2 中上級

共感が最も価値あるスキルである理由 (Why Empathy is the Most Valuable Skill)

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    Summer に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日