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  • -Hi, guys.

  • Welcome to "The Tonight Show: At Home Edition."

  • I hope everyone is staying at home safe and healthy.

  • Thank you so much for watching our show.

  • We have a great show tonight.

  • We have -- Chelsea Handler is on the show tonight.

  • -Did I draw that? -Yep, you drew that.

  • Thank you very much.

  • Chelsea Handler, who has one of the best lines

  • you'll hear later on tonight.

  • She's like, "I don't like FaceTime."

  • She goes, "FaceTime is not for adults.

  • The whole reason I didn't have kids

  • is so I wouldn't have to FaceTime."

  • Anyways, Chelsea Handler --

  • that's her charity she's working with, Jersey.

  • New Jersey is having some tough times right now,

  • so we're sending our thoughts out to New Jersey.

  • And we're going to get some help for you guys tonight.

  • Also, Kelly Clarkson. Oh, my gosh.

  • She hosts her own talk show. She's doing it from home.

  • She's on "The Voice."

  • And she has a new song out right now in five different languages.

  • Feedingamerica.org is her charity.

  • We love Kelly Clarkson.

  • And then we're closing out the show with Michael McDonald,

  • who's going to do one of his classics

  • and a song I think fits perfectly

  • for quarantine time right now.

  • Whyhungry.org is his charity.

  • We love you, Michael McDonald.

  • [ As McDonald ] ♪ We love you

  • [ Normal voice ] We started this yesterday, guys,

  • but our friends over at T-Mobile really stepped it up.

  • They're doing a thing with Girls & Boys Club

  • so that front-line and healthcare workers

  • get some child-care during this time right there.

  • So if you text "thanks" to 50555,

  • it will be a $5 donation going right into

  • Boys & Girls Club for the special COVID-19 Relief Fund.

  • And T-Mobile said they will match up to

  • $400,000 in donations, so that is awesome.

  • Thank you.

  • And it could be any carrier, by the way.

  • Doesn't have to be T-Mobile.

  • If you have whatever, just text "thanks" to 50555,

  • and it'll be great.

  • Franny, are you cozy? -Yeah, yeah.

  • -Are you cozy?

  • -I'm going to put down my blanket.

  • I'm going to go under -- -Do you have a blue tongue?

  • Let me see your tongue. What is going on?

  • Where did you go? -Dark, light.

  • Dark, light. -Dark and light.

  • Okay, very good. Long day of homeschooling.

  • Let's do a monologue, everybody. Here we go.

  • ♪♪ Okay, ready for the monologue?

  • Are you going to laugh? -This is the...

  • -Oh, my God. What is this character?

  • You don't smile like that.

  • That's how you smile? By not smiling?

  • Oh, my goodness. Alright. Welcome to "The Tonight Show."

  • Oh, by the way, I will say,

  • Dude Perfect is on the show tonight.

  • We're going to do something fun with those guys.

  • We love Dude Perfect. Thank you for that.

  • And before we do the monologue,

  • I just want to thank my wife, who I love so much.

  • I could not do any of this without you.

  • You're the greatest. -I love you, too.

  • -I love you so much.

  • My wife, who's not number one with technology.

  • She's -- You know, it's not on her list

  • of things that she wants to get into.

  • Anyways, she was trying to help me out

  • because we're doing a bit for this giant relief concert

  • that's happening this Saturday.

  • And, so, I wanted to see if I can get an earpiece.

  • And so Nancy thought maybe if I painted the Air--

  • my AirPod brown that it would --

  • It would blend in with my ear, thinking that

  • it goes up into my hair, but AirPods go down.

  • So she goes, "Oh, that didn't work."

  • So then she painted it.

  • She wanted to paint it skin color.

  • So these are my AirPods. This is what they look like now.

  • So no one can tell that I'm wearing an AirPod.

  • So thank you, honey.

  • You were like --

  • Can you tell that I'm wearing an earpiece, Winnie?

  • -Yeah. -What?

  • -It's right there. -Where?

  • -Yeah, thank you. -Where is it?

  • -Where is it?

  • -Oh. -No, I don't see it.

  • ♪♪

  • Alright, guys,

  • welcome to "The Tonight Show: At Home Edition."

  • Well, guys, this is very interesting.

  • Satellite photos show that the Earth

  • has been thriving since people have had to stay inside.

  • Damn, it's like we broke up with Earth,

  • and now it's coming back with its revenge body.

  • Some sports news.

  • The PGA Tour announced that golf will return in June,

  • but without any fans.

  • I know I'll be watching, mostly to hear

  • all the caddies sing "Happy Birthday" twice

  • while using the ball washer.

  • Of course, people who love to gamble on sports

  • are also thrilled, but they also were like,

  • "Hey, how much you want to bet

  • it gets pushed back to July?"

  • So, today is National Librarian Day.

  • Man, between National Librarian Day and golf coming back,

  • this is a huge day for people who love whispering.

  • I read that Facebook will start alerting users

  • if they've interacted with coronavirus misinformation.

  • Yeah, apparently, they send you a message that says,

  • "You've signed into Facebook."

  • Listen to this.

  • The C.E.O. of the company that makes

  • "Call of Duty" and "World of Warcraft"

  • gave out his personal phone number to 10,000 employees

  • to help them through the pandemic.

  • When I heard that, I was so inspired.

  • That's why, today, I gave all my employees

  • that C.E.O.'s phone number, as well.

  • Experts are saying, although it's difficult,

  • you should try to consume healthy, mood-boosting foods

  • instead of comfort food.

  • I'm trying my best.

  • That's why for lunch, I stuck a walnut inside

  • my tray of Totino's pizza rolls.

  • You get the surprising nut roll.

  • Some TV news.

  • Earlier tonight, ABC aired a special called

  • "The Disney Family Singalong."

  • Yeah. And this makes sense, especially when it was

  • sponsored by Excedrin, Advil, and Jack Daniel's.

  • [ Laughs ]

  • I heard about a man in Michigan who broke a record

  • for the most shots from behind the backboard in one minute.

  • And if you missed it, don't worry --

  • ESPN will be airing it on a loop for an entire week.

  • And, finally, I read about a couple

  • that named their baby Sanitizer because of the pandemic.

  • Yeah, in a few years, he'll be in preschool with

  • Sourdough, Zoom Potato, and Joe Exotic Jr.

  • That is our monologue, everybody.

  • Thank you very much. It is time for "Hashtags"!

  • ♪♪

  • Alright, it's time for "Hashtags," everybody.

  • We send out a hashtag every week on the socials

  • and we ask you guys to respond back.

  • So, our theme this time is "Quarantine a TV Show."

  • And my example was, "The Face-Masked Singer."

  • There you go.

  • Can you hold that? -Uh-huh.

  • -Alright, here we go. That was the first one.

  • Alright, so, let's start off.

  • These are "Hashtags: Quarantine a TV Show."

  • This one is from @Katie -- Oh, from @Kattfunny.

  • She said, "Everybody Loves Ramen."

  • Here you go. This one's from @Kyleshamorian.

  • Oh, yeah. He put "Baking Bad."

  • That's probably a banana-bread reference.

  • Here, you want to hold this one? -Yeah.

  • -Thank you. -No, me.

  • -It's alright. You got the next one.

  • This one's from @BMWJenn.

  • @BMWJenn wrote, "Homeschool Musical."

  • I'd watch that. Get Efron on the phone.

  • Alright, this one's from @doublesamfarms.

  • Oh, @doublesamfarms.

  • They put, "This Is Us Doing Nothing."

  • That's "Quarantine a TV Show."