字幕表 動画を再生する 英語字幕をプリント -Hi, guys. Welcome to "The Tonight Show: At Home Edition." I hope everyone is staying at home safe and healthy. Thank you so much for watching our show. We have a great show tonight. We have -- Chelsea Handler is on the show tonight. -Did I draw that? -Yep, you drew that. Thank you very much. Chelsea Handler, who has one of the best lines you'll hear later on tonight. She's like, "I don't like FaceTime." She goes, "FaceTime is not for adults. The whole reason I didn't have kids is so I wouldn't have to FaceTime." Anyways, Chelsea Handler -- that's her charity she's working with, Jersey. New Jersey is having some tough times right now, so we're sending our thoughts out to New Jersey. And we're going to get some help for you guys tonight. Also, Kelly Clarkson. Oh, my gosh. She hosts her own talk show. She's doing it from home. She's on "The Voice." And she has a new song out right now in five different languages. Feedingamerica.org is her charity. We love Kelly Clarkson. And then we're closing out the show with Michael McDonald, who's going to do one of his classics and a song I think fits perfectly for quarantine time right now. Whyhungry.org is his charity. We love you, Michael McDonald. [ As McDonald ] ♪ We love you ♪ [ Normal voice ] We started this yesterday, guys, but our friends over at T-Mobile really stepped it up. They're doing a thing with Girls & Boys Club so that front-line and healthcare workers get some child-care during this time right there. So if you text "thanks" to 50555, it will be a $5 donation going right into Boys & Girls Club for the special COVID-19 Relief Fund. And T-Mobile said they will match up to $400,000 in donations, so that is awesome. Thank you. And it could be any carrier, by the way. Doesn't have to be T-Mobile. If you have whatever, just text "thanks" to 50555, and it'll be great. Franny, are you cozy? -Yeah, yeah. -Are you cozy? -I'm going to put down my blanket. I'm going to go under -- -Do you have a blue tongue? Let me see your tongue. What is going on? Where did you go? -Dark, light. Dark, light. -Dark and light. Okay, very good. Long day of homeschooling. Let's do a monologue, everybody. Here we go. ♪♪ Okay, ready for the monologue? Are you going to laugh? -This is the... -Oh, my God. What is this character? You don't smile like that. That's how you smile? By not smiling? Oh, my goodness. Alright. Welcome to "The Tonight Show." Oh, by the way, I will say, Dude Perfect is on the show tonight. We're going to do something fun with those guys. We love Dude Perfect. Thank you for that. And before we do the monologue, I just want to thank my wife, who I love so much. I could not do any of this without you. You're the greatest. -I love you, too. -I love you so much. My wife, who's not number one with technology. She's -- You know, it's not on her list of things that she wants to get into. Anyways, she was trying to help me out because we're doing a bit for this giant relief concert that's happening this Saturday. And, so, I wanted to see if I can get an earpiece. And so Nancy thought maybe if I painted the Air-- my AirPod brown that it would -- It would blend in with my ear, thinking that it goes up into my hair, but AirPods go down. So she goes, "Oh, that didn't work." So then she painted it. She wanted to paint it skin color. So these are my AirPods. This is what they look like now. So no one can tell that I'm wearing an AirPod. So thank you, honey. You were like -- Can you tell that I'm wearing an earpiece, Winnie? -Yeah. -What? -It's right there. -Where? -Yeah, thank you. -Where is it? -Where is it? -Oh. -No, I don't see it. ♪♪ Alright, guys, welcome to "The Tonight Show: At Home Edition." Well, guys, this is very interesting. Satellite photos show that the Earth has been thriving since people have had to stay inside. Damn, it's like we broke up with Earth, and now it's coming back with its revenge body. Some sports news. The PGA Tour announced that golf will return in June, but without any fans. I know I'll be watching, mostly to hear all the caddies sing "Happy Birthday" twice while using the ball washer. Of course, people who love to gamble on sports are also thrilled, but they also were like, "Hey, how much you want to bet it gets pushed back to July?" So, today is National Librarian Day. Man, between National Librarian Day and golf coming back, this is a huge day for people who love whispering. I read that Facebook will start alerting users if they've interacted with coronavirus misinformation. Yeah, apparently, they send you a message that says, "You've signed into Facebook." Listen to this. The C.E.O. of the company that makes "Call of Duty" and "World of Warcraft" gave out his personal phone number to 10,000 employees to help them through the pandemic. When I heard that, I was so inspired. That's why, today, I gave all my employees that C.E.O.'s phone number, as well. Experts are saying, although it's difficult, you should try to consume healthy, mood-boosting foods instead of comfort food. I'm trying my best. That's why for lunch, I stuck a walnut inside my tray of Totino's pizza rolls. You get the surprising nut roll. Some TV news. Earlier tonight, ABC aired a special called "The Disney Family Singalong." Yeah. And this makes sense, especially when it was sponsored by Excedrin, Advil, and Jack Daniel's. [ Laughs ] I heard about a man in Michigan who broke a record for the most shots from behind the backboard in one minute. And if you missed it, don't worry -- ESPN will be airing it on a loop for an entire week. And, finally, I read about a couple that named their baby Sanitizer because of the pandemic. Yeah, in a few years, he'll be in preschool with Sourdough, Zoom Potato, and Joe Exotic Jr. That is our monologue, everybody. Thank you very much. It is time for "Hashtags"! ♪♪ Alright, it's time for "Hashtags," everybody. We send out a hashtag every week on the socials and we ask you guys to respond back. So, our theme this time is "Quarantine a TV Show." And my example was, "The Face-Masked Singer." There you go. Can you hold that? -Uh-huh. -Alright, here we go. That was the first one. Alright, so, let's start off. These are "Hashtags: Quarantine a TV Show." This one is from @Katie -- Oh, from @Kattfunny. She said, "Everybody Loves Ramen." Here you go. This one's from @Kyleshamorian. Oh, yeah. He put "Baking Bad." That's probably a banana-bread reference. Here, you want to hold this one? -Yeah. -Thank you. -No, me. -It's alright. You got the next one. This one's from @BMWJenn. @BMWJenn wrote, "Homeschool Musical." I'd watch that. Get Efron on the phone. Alright, this one's from @doublesamfarms. Oh, @doublesamfarms. They put, "This Is Us Doing Nothing." That's "Quarantine a TV Show."