FIGURE OUT PROGRAMMING WITHOUT LIVE SPORTS, FORCING THEM TO

FIND "REPLACEMENT PROGRAMMING FOR THE GAMES THAT WON'T BE

HAPPENING."

>> AT ESPN, WE KNOW THE SPORTS YOU LOVE HAVE BEEN SHUT DOWN

INDEFINITELY.

BUT NO WORRIES, BECAUSE ESPN STILL HAS A TON OF GREAT SPORTS

PROGRAMMING.

AT 1:00, IT'S STREET SNOWBOARDING.

FOLLOWED BY LAZY PARKOUR.

THEN IT'S SOLITARY HILL ROLLING.

AND WE'RE JUST GETTING STARTED!

AT 4:00, ESPN BRINGS YOU OLD MAN HIDE-AND-SEEK.

AT 5:00, IT'S THE REGIONAL SOAP OPERA SLAPPING FINALS.

THEN AT 6:00, IT'S THE FIRST-TIME WATER SKIER

INVITATIONAL.

AND OUR PRIME-TIME LINEUP IS JUST AS STRONG, STARTING WITH

DIVORCED DAD CALISTHENICS.

FOLLOWED BY ON-LAND SANTA RAFTING, THE WESTMINSTER

BANANA-ON-DOG SHOW.

AND FINALLY, AT 10:00, THE BEST OF OLD MAN HIDE-AND-SEEK.

ESPN: WE'VE BOLDLY LOOSENED OUR DEFINITION OF SPORT.

>> I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SAY THIS, BUT I MISS BASEBALL.

( CRYING ) >> IT'S "A LATE SHOW WITH

STEPHEN COLBERT."