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  • No one makes me laugh like our first guest does.

  • Please welcome my friend David Spade.

  • David!

  • Hey!

  • Can you see me?

  • I see you.

  • You can see me, huh?

  • Do you see me?

  • Yeah, yeah, yeah.

  • I've been watching you for a little bit, yeah.

  • Hi.

  • I'm sorry.

  • I'm on, like, six Zoom calls.

  • So I'm just jumping over to you right now.

  • Oh, you're a busy man, aren't you?

  • [LAUGHS] No, not at all.

  • How are you holding up?

  • No.

  • I want to know how everybody's doing

  • and what you're doing to keep busy.

  • I'm watching your shows, but what else are you doing?

  • Well, first of all, the shows-- like your show, probably--

  • it's a lot more complicated, I think,

  • than people realize to do anything from the house.

  • I didn't know how to do my computer.

  • I didn't know anything.

  • So just for me to be alone, and they're

  • trying to tell me how to set things up-- that's hard.

  • I just run out of things to do quickly.

  • I realize I'm not an interesting person.

  • I was alphabetizing my colognes yesterday.

  • Oh, it took all day.

  • Thank God.

  • That's a great time killer.

  • I start with Axe, and then I go to--

  • [LAUGHS] I don't know.

  • So now I'm just making them in my basement.

  • It's just mix up some herbs and spices, yeah.

  • It's tough out here.

  • What's the final cologne?

  • What's the last cologne?

  • [LAUGHS]

  • I don't even have it that far.

  • I did try to get an arc from IKEA.

  • This is so hard to build.

  • And it says it's so easy.

  • Because I just thought, maybe--

  • I'm sorry--

  • --if it rained--

  • An arc.

  • Yeah.

  • It was $200 and it's-- yeah.

  • I put it on my tennis court, and I'm trying to put it together.

  • And it's not so simple.

  • So I'm out there with my mask on, a Phillips screwdriver.

  • It's going to take me a while.

  • It might actually go into summer.

  • So, that.

  • [LAUGHS]

  • I'm surprised you're not posting that.

  • Let's see that as soon as possible.

  • So David, when I was calling people, I called you.

  • I called David, just--

  • I'm talking to the people, now, at home.

  • I thought it would be fun to call David.

  • And I FaceTimed him, but I was doing it a different way.

  • But I didn't do it right, because there was no sound,

  • so we couldn't use any of it.

  • And I love talking to you, but we couldn't use it.

  • I know.

  • You texted afterwards.

  • And I understood, because it's so complicated

  • to do all these things that I couldn't get mad about it.

  • It was fun talking to you anyway, and we had a nice chat.

  • And we just had some laughs like we just normally do.

  • But unfortunately, everyone didn't

  • get to eavesdrop on that.

  • No.

  • So I thought, well, I'll start doing a show,

  • because that'll be a way that they'll see it.

  • Let's talk about your show.

  • You're doing a show, and you call it a bunker.

  • I doubt it's a bunker.

  • Well, right now, I'm in a different room.

  • But this is just little, small rooms.

  • And just for noise--

  • if it's too echoey, if it's too this.

  • Believe me, everyone comments and says, you should do this,

  • and you should do this.

  • And you can't see this, and your hair looks stupid.

  • So I sort of take all that in, and then I

  • try to tweak things and get it going.

  • But it's all-- everyone's doing it,

  • and it's a learning process.

  • But I think people watching understand

  • that this is a bit trickier than what we're all used to.

  • Oh, yeah, absolutely.

  • Let's talk about you getting the biggest stars last week.

  • I am so jealous.

  • I texted you afterwards, because you're doing such a great job.

  • You got a lot of the people from Tiger King.

  • Oh, yeah.

  • That was sort of an accident-- not really.

  • I was watching Tiger King, and I missed out

  • on Love Is Blind or whatever that one on Netflix,

  • because everyone says, are you watching this new thing?

  • And I never seem to be knowing what to talk about.

  • And then Tiger King--

  • I said, whatever the next one is, I'm in.

  • It didn't even look like it was my thing,

  • but I go, let's watch it.

  • And then after, like, two, I said, this guy is so hilarious.

  • He's like a Barney Fife kind of tough guy,

  • but not really tough.

  • It looks crazy.

  • And I said-- and that's such an area of Florida and Oklahoma,

  • and just reminded me of growing up in Arizona

  • and doing that Joe Dirt movie.

  • So I said, maybe we should have one of these guys on.

  • And the main guy was in jail.

  • I hadn't gotten to the end yet, but he was in jail.

  • And so they said, well, we put the word out, and a lot of them

  • didn't want to talk to showbiz types.

  • But they thought you--

  • they could relate to you, because you were in Joe Dirt.

  • And I said, oh, sure.

  • OK.

  • So a bunch of them started calling in.

  • And then I couldn't do, even, all of them,

  • because I thought maybe I was getting--

  • I didn't want it to get repetitive.

  • But this thing is fun to watch-- the Tiger King.

  • And it's crazy.

  • And the animals are sort of a backdrop.

  • They just focus on the puppet show in the front.

  • All these people, each one, each episode,

  • they're even crazier than the next guy.

  • And it all interlocks.

  • But you and I, you're an animal lover.

  • It takes a slight dark undertone if you look too deep.

  • So as the show got on, and deeper, deeper, I

  • started to think, ah, it's fun in a way,

  • but it's also a little rough around the edges.

  • Yeah, for sure.

  • So now do you want to interview Carole Baskin?

  • [LAUGHS] Ellen, you're so good at this.

  • And I just do it like BSing, which you sort of do anyway.

  • And that was a compliment when you

  • said that I handled the interview all right, because I

  • wouldn't know what to do other than just

  • talk like a normal person-- just asking crazy things people ask

  • me.

  • Carole Baskin would be riveting to talk to--

  • sort of looks like Amanda Seyfried

  • a little bit, a little Wendi McClendon.

  • She's so interesting and spacey.

  • And nothing really got to her.

  • She would just talk, and they go, he's trying to kill you.

  • [CHUCKLES] She always had a nervous laugh,

  • but always sort of one-note, like--

  • I don't know.

  • And Joe was so interesting, and she was so interesting,

  • in her own way, and the husband that

  • was just staring next to her.

  • I liked it all.

  • I just thought, as a character study, it's fun to watch.

  • Now, do I want to have them as roommates?

  • No, probably not.

  • [LAUGHS]

  • So now they're going to make a movie, I think.

  • I heard that Kate McKinnon is playing Carole Baskin.

  • I don't know if there's several things going

  • on-- several projects.

  • But a lot of people--

  • and I think Joe Exotic, including Joe Exotic,

  • wants you to play him.

  • I read this.

  • I don't know.

  • It depends.

  • There's the show, and then there's

  • getting time off and all that.

  • But I thought it's just a funny idea,

  • because everyone-- it's more fun just

  • to think who the casting would be, just for something to do.

  • Kate McKinnon, obviously, is great at everything.

  • And she does drama.

  • And this movie would probably have

  • to be a little more dramatic, too,

  • to get all the real stuff going on, not just a goofy comedy.

  • But I thought Woody Harrelson as Jeff.

  • You know Jeff who bought the park?

  • That guy looked a little like Woody Harrelson.

  • And I talked to that guy, too.

  • was great.

  • He brought the nanny out at the end.

  • It was a whole thing.

  • They're all showmen, you know what I mean?

  • They know what they're doing.

  • And there's other people in there.

  • I think-- oh, the guy--

  • his boyfriend, John Finlay--

  • had a couple of tubes missing.

  • Do you remember him?

  • He looks great.

  • He's got a new grill.

  • And he said Channing Tatum might be good for him.

  • So it sounds like a fun--

  • I know.

  • It's fun to ask them what they want.

  • And then they-- actually, Joe Exotic said me or Brad Pitt.

  • And I think I know which way it's going to head.

  • But I see Brad at auditions all the time,

  • and it's always tense.

  • I was going to say, y'all are always up for the same role.

  • You almost got Once Upon A Time In Hollywood, didn't you?

  • Well, I didn't even know I didn't get it until I saw it.

  • I go, oh, so they did--

  • OK.

  • Because I was at three callbacks.

  • You know what Brad does?

  • He brings his Oscar to auditions now, which is--

  • I don't think you're allowed to do that in SAG.

  • But it just shows everyone, in case you forgot, I'm better.

  • But I think Joe is a little too squirrelly for Brad.

  • That might be wishful thinking, because Brad is so studly.

  • And I'm a little more squirrelly.

  • I think you're studly and squirrelly.

  • We have to take--

  • All right.

  • --a break.

  • We're going to-- because we have to.

  • Sure.

  • We'll be back, though.

  • We'll still be here.

  • They're going to go-- well, they're not

  • going to go anywhere, either.

  • It's so weird when we say "we'll be back," because we're here.

  • Those people are still going to be there.

  • There's just something in between this.

  • So something happens.

  • We'll be back.

  • All right.

  • We are back with David Spade.

  • David, how's your family?

  • How's your mom?

  • My mom-- my mom's funny, because she's--

  • just, A, she had a back operation.

  • So she had her spine fused.

  • So she's sort of in quarantine anyway.

  • But she's getting better.

  • Very terrifying, because I can't go there.

  • I went right at the beginning, and then they wouldn't-- you

  • can't really go anywhere after.

  • So we just talk all day.

  • And she didn't get back to me until 3:00 yesterday.

  • She's like, I didn't get everything done.

  • I go, mom, you can do literally nothing.

  • But she's always so busy.

  • And she goes, I'm watching this.

  • I'm doing this.