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  • all right.

  • My next guest.

  • Huge star, blah blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

  • Big time blob movies, television.

  • He's done it all like Bogie and Bacall.

  • Ladies and gentlemen, a good friend and neighbor, Adam Sandler.

  • Adam, how you doing?

  • One of your Onley.

  • Good neighbors.

  • Everyone else on the Bacchus is so scared of you.

  • I know.

  • What?

  • Why are they scared of me?

  • Why did people in this neighborhood afraid of me?

  • You do that, You do that weird, freckle, naked run every born again that puts like they do it coming and the extreme in on the cold man over and over.

  • It's crazy.

  • I like to show people what I got.

  • I like to get outside.

  • You get rid of that.

  • You get rid of it right away every morning, like you.

  • Ready.

  • You it is.

  • Let's move on.

  • Let's not speculate, Hagen, and let everyone see what I'm packing.

  • House.

  • The quarantine going for you, Adam?

  • Uh, I just like everybody else going, Uh, I'm here.

  • I'm, uh The kids look like usually like the runaway.

  • That's the little daddy's losing that begin.

  • Let's go out.

  • Let's go shopping.

  • What other kind of now?

  • they're really getting to know me.

  • And they're really not One of them is happy being here.

  • You know, I've been yelling more than I used to.

  • Now you You do.

  • You are a bit of a yeller.

  • I've been around you when you yell.

  • Yeah, you're a guy that likes to Yeo and say, Kids, Kids, What are we doing?

  • We gotta go.

  • We gotta go.

  • That's you.

  • In normal circumstances.

  • What are you doing out in quarantine?

  • Well, usually it's been a known fact that I scream all the time, but it goes away recently.

  • Quick.

  • I have to save my screaming as extended.

  • Like it's a new version of me.

  • The kids are like, Okay, it'll go away, and then they're like, looking at each other like, oh, he's still going.

  • And I'm going just very tense about everything.

  • And I just like, Don't you touch that.

  • That's that.

  • I didn't clean that yet.

  • And Mommy did you clean?

  • You know, I'm just worried about everything clean in the house and you wiping everything down.

  • I wipe a lot of stuff down.

  • Then when I pick it up, pick up things to eat.

  • I'm like, Oh, yeah, did I already touched that or my hands dirty.

  • So I cleaned my hands again.

  • And, uh, you How about you, buddy?

  • You doing anything?

  • Are you just kind of just sitting there and allowing everyone else to do it for you?

  • You know, you still have a staff in your home.

  • You have 170 people here.

  • You can't do that at this time.

  • Really?

  • No one told me.

  • Now don't hold me because it's a specific order by the governor of California.

  • You can't have 10.

  • And Maurine the Jalisco know you got a little kind of those guys going.

  • I let half my people go, and it's now 170 people.

  • They dressed me.

  • They wipe me down with alcohol.

  • They feed me soup.

  • They do.

  • My put my wig on.

  • Everything is taken care of.

  • They paint the freckles on.

  • Are you getting outside the house?

  • You Do You ever go outside?

  • Yes.

  • I had a terrible situation happened.

  • A couple.

  • They're not terrible, but can I tell you Cockney?

  • Is it?

  • Yeah, you can tell me.

  • No one's gonna see this.

  • Oh, yeah.

  • This is This is on us right now.

  • We're just two guys talking from our homes.

  • That's all s o.

  • I'm on.

  • Take the kids out of the new door.

  • We got a dog baby baking, expecting everyone else would be keeping their distance right.

  • You can go outside as long as you're far away from other people.

  • Stay away, man.

  • The six feet thing, I make it about 30 feet.

  • Like just let's let's get away and stay away from the other people, Children.

  • Let's if we got it, we don't want to give it if they got it, we don't want to get.

  • Anyways, um, I got the dog and I know that some people don't have the dogs on the leash.

  • And I know I see dogs coming to my dog, and then I'm gonna have to, like, separate Those is gonna be a fight.

  • The guy's gonna come over.

  • I'm gonna have to be close to describe breaking up a fight.

  • So I started screaming, Hey, put the dog on a leash.

  • But you don't.

  • So then this nice lady is walking towards us.

  • Maybe the wife and the kids and I say, Can you put your dog on a leash?

  • She goes, What as she does.

  • I said, can you put your dog on the leash?

  • Just what's this?

  • And she was on the on the phone or something.

  • You could hear me, huh?

  • He starts getting close to me.

  • I go.

  • No, no, no.

  • Uh, can you put your dog on a leash?

  • Because I live right there.

  • I don't know.

  • I know just the dog.

  • I don't want the dog because you don't always have your dormant release.

  • I know.

  • Well, I know, but that Corona think just one and she starts coming at me.

  • And I'm a crazy person getting near my family.

  • Except I start back out Bubble are like a greater she goes.

  • You are right, Jack.

  • And she starts screaming at being a.

  • I was a very, very corona tense moment for us, and I will be at school.

  • But let me tell people something.

  • That woman's name was Barbra Streisand.

  • Just find a picture.

  • Dom.

  • I don't know what the Ladies Day was, but she's one of my neighbors.

  • I didn't mean to be abrasive allowed.

  • I meant to just say, Get the dog on the leash.

  • You shouldn't be having dogs touch each other getting close to each other.

  • That's it.

  • Yeah.

  • All right, that's all.

  • And I think you're being reasonable in that situation.

  • I think we're all a little tense.

  • And I think you handled yourself well on.

  • And I hope Barbara Streisand gets it together.

  • She just add, by the way, I woke up this morning with his long message people, people who need it.

  • And I was like, she started.

  • See?

  • It turns out nice.

  • Hey, let me ask you a question.

  • This is what's been bugging me.

  • I'm terrible.

  • A tech.

  • My son has been making fun of me for years.

  • I could never figure stuff out.

  • And now that we're all on our own, we gotta figure this stuff out.

  • Are you good at tech now?

  • Absolutely.

  • You know, I can't do anything.

  • This is like I think, face timing my, uh, my body locker.

  • Who's who's helps me out.

  • Uh, literally, everything.

  • I didn't know how to turn on my so many things in my house.

  • I don't know how to.

  • Well, whatever.

  • It's humiliating.

  • Oh, I can do the, uh if the electricity goes down, I can find the circuit and flip it on and off when it works.

  • I'm just like I handle that one.

  • That that's when I'm most excited.

  • It's the smallest thing.

  • And you feel like macgyver, right?

  • Yeah.

  • Change the battery on my mouth the other day or or on my computer thing.

  • And I opened it up, put a couple of double A's in there, and it worked.

  • I was gonna let you go.

  • That was done.

  • You do these things.

  • That is not the voice of a tech guy.

  • Okay, what do you think?

  • My wife knows a lot more in the house than I do.

  • Owe you.

  • You got that going on.

  • My wife always knows everything and how how everything works.

  • She's a good cook.

  • She knows everything is on.

  • I'm always saying stuff like, where did they put the sink?

  • And she's like, Woody, you an idiot.

  • It's right there in front of you.

  • And I mean, like, um I supposed to know I'm a genius, you know?

  • Look created.

  • I'm the creator.

  • I can't know where the sink is.

  • Ridiculous.

  • Someone told me that you're wearing T shirts that you get from restaurants.

  • I don't even know what that means.

  • What does that mean?

  • When I go to a restaurant.

  • A lot of times when I'm leaving, they say a Adam, you want a T shirt?

  • And I say, Yeah, sure.

  • You know, And I say what size?

  • And I say double axe and they don't know.

  • And I go Well, yeah, And then they go.

  • Really?

  • Yeah.

  • I I put it on and to show him that it's not that loose.

  • And it's a little loose, but right.

  • Wow.

  • I would have thought better of you, Adam.

  • I say, I know, I know.

  • But wait a minute.

  • It'll make me stop you for a second.

  • You say that when you go to restaurants, this is long before the Corona virus.

  • But just as a matter of habit and a matter of course, they give you free T shirts at the very end of the meal.

  • A.

  • Because I'm nice.

  • I'm nice to people.

  • I mean, we live in the same neighborhood.

  • I've never gotten a T shirt.

  • They don't give me T shirts.

  • Well, that's an extra extra long on you, man.

  • That doesn't make sense.

  • You can't wear T shirts.

  • Are you?

  • Extra long waist ahead or No, no, I'm sorry.

  • Wrong in the leg.

  • You've got long legs.

  • One arm?

  • Yeah.

  • Oh, they're crazy legs.

  • I've got, like, 39 inch legs.

  • You know, I have super long legs, and then I have a tiny torso.

  • I have the the Tet, the chest of ah, of an eight year old girl.

  • Hey, massive long legs.

  • Yeah, and I got It's just so I'm just proportionate.

  • You know?

  • You like when you're laying in bed, your legs kicking around, you don't even know it.

  • You know, you You feel your legs, right?

  • Yeah.

  • I can feel my legs.

  • Adam.

  • Yes, I can feel my legs wake up before you ever.

  • Ugo?

  • Yeah, Sometimes I'm fast asleep, but my legs get up early.

  • I know.

  • Like Hey, still asleep?

  • Okay, right.

  • He's still asleep.

  • Yeah, left.

  • Let's get cooking.

  • And then they start doing all kinds of stuff.

  • They have prosthetics in the board.

  • Yeah, Sometimes I wake up and I'm just running 18 miles an hour down the street.

  • Yeah, Director, I'm in a samba class.

  • It's craziness.

  • I like the mustache.

  • By the way, it looks like you're gonna be making pornography and quarantine.

  • Yes, it looks like you have I Everybody else.

  • Everybody else has mentioned that this sunrise and watching porn on a rise in sexual activity.

  • I noticed that might be my life.

  • I've been pulling a lot.

  • Oh, is that true?